Friday, December 4, 2015

Once Upon A Time, The Greatest Shooter in NBA History was Drafted 7th…

by Brandon Cuddemi

Steph Curry is on a level all by himself. His shot is downright beautiful. Like doves flying in the sunset, or something. Look, I’m not Robert Fucking Frost. Think of something majestic and that’s what his shot is like. Meanwhile, let’s see what Kobe’s shots are looking like this year...

(Kobe has nothing to do with this, but he plays for the Lakers, so fuck 'em) 

Here are some crazy numbers for Curry’s season and career:  In 20 games this season, he has made 102 threes. He’s on pace to make 418 of them. That would be 132 more than the current record for a single season. That record, by the way, belongs to him. He set it last season, when he broke the mark set in 2013-14 by...him. In all, he has 3 out of the top 5 spots in the record books for threes made in a single season. INSANE. Now granted, he shoots a million of these things. But, his percentages are actually historical too. For his career, he’s already 2nd all time for 3pt %. And nobody on that list comes close to attempting as many. Making it even more impressive. On top of it all, the guy easily has the best handles in the league, and 2-3 times a night you’ll see him make a fool out of whoever is defending him.

In every draft of every sport, you can look back and mock all the bad picks. But I think the NBA is best for this. So many famous blunders, like Bowie over Jordan, Oden over Durant, Kwame Brown over anyone else. So let’s go back to the 2009 NBA draft and see what happened before Curry landed in Golden State’s lap.

1. Clippers - Blake Griffin - Can't say this was a wrong pick. Guy is a beast, and was easily the top choice heading into the draft. No GM would have taken anyone else #1.

2. Memphis - Hasheem Thabeet - You may be asking, who is that? And it’s because he's up there among worst picks ever. This was a pure old school "He's a big guy with unlimited potential" pick. He wasn't even that good in college. Brutal. I went to go look at his stats online, but the webpage just kept displaying a sad emoji face.

3. Oklahoma City - James Harden - Again, tough to argue. I'm not as big on him as everyone else though. He sucks on defense and isn't a great leader. Also shrinks in some playoff moments. But there's no denying he's one of the best offensive players in the league. OKC actually got fleeced when they traded him. FLEECED.

4. Sacramento - Tyreke Evans – I guess he’s a decent player? Nothing special though. He's missed a lot of games due to injury in his career. I actually think he got better as a complementary piece once he got out of Sacramento. This was such a Sacramento kind of draft pick.

5 & 6. (That’s right, both picks) Minnesota - Ricky Rubio & Johnny Flynn – Memphis’ #2 pick is amazingly awful, but somehow they weren’t the biggest idiots. That’s because Minnesota had back-to-back picks and decided to draft 2, (count them, 2) point guards that aren't named Steph Curry. For everyone keeping score at home, Steph Curry is a FUCKING POINT GUARD. Rubio, after hearing he was destined for balmy Minnesota, decided to stay in Spain for 2 more years before going to the NBA, hoping Minnesota would trade his rights. They didn’t. Johnny Flynn was a complete bust. He played for 3 whole seasons, averaging 9.2 points a game for his career. I think he took my order at an In & Out Burger a couple weeks ago (Editor's Note: Those are good burgers, Brandon).

These 2 picks by the Timberwolves were bad even in real time. I get that nobody predicted Curry to be what he is today, but he wasn’t exactly a secret in college. Guy got Davidson on TV and into the NCAA tourney. I don’t even know if that’s a real school. It might just be the last name of a guy that owns a gym. Shockingly, Minnesota doesn’t have the same GM now as they did in 2009. If you’re friends with that guy, you have to break his balls right? Like whenever there is a debate on something, just throw it in his face.

Him - “We should go here this weekend”
Friend – “Yeah…but you drafted Johnny Flynn, so....”

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