Saturday, April 1, 2017

My Favorite WrestleMania Moment

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Over the years, WWE’s biggest event has given its fans tons of moments that are forever implanted in your brain as truly memorable and awesome. Hogan slamming Andre the Giant. The Macho Man parading Miss Elizabeth on his shoulders in a victory march. Stone Cold bleeding his face off against the Hitman. Shawn Michaels ending the iconic career of the Nature Boy with the words "I'm Sorry. I Love You." And then of course this.


18 seconds

Sheamus decimating Daniel Bryan in double the time it takes me to find a rubber (Just kidding, I don’t use those, who am I, Justin? Or Derek even?!?!?). But that’s not my favorite moment. No, my favorite moment was this.

Right at the count of three, this is the moment before he screamed,
"MOTHERFUCKERRRRRR!!!!"

That right there, friends, is Justin Ballard filled with rage as his hero D-Bryan was pinned. This man loves wrestling (in case you can’t tell by the ENDLESS wrestling columns). He has his favorites but man oh man they were all trumped by the scrappy bearded fellow from Oregon (Editor's Note: It's Washington, fuckface). He was so looking forward to this matchup. And it was over before he sat down from taking a leak.

The sheer joy his absolute misery gave us that day is immeasurable. Much like the screams of children fueled the creatures of Monsters, Inc, the tears of this man filled me with enough energy to move mountains that day. It gave me unexplainable joy. Food tasted better. The air seemed fresher. I had more energy and self-confidence than I ever dreamed of.

To this day, I’m SHOCKED he didn’t throw us all out of his house the second this happened. We needled him endlessly all night and each time you could see the red flickering light of anger grow bigger as the vein in his head almost exploded with rage. Easily the greatest WrestleMania memory of my life.

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