Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Game of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 4 ("Book of the Stranger")

by Dan Moore

That’s more like it. This is the first episode of Thrones this season that didn’t seem like it was just checking in on all the characters we know. This one actually had plots move along and created natural character progressions. John and Sansa are reunited at Castle Black (Sure, Sansa and her crew seem to have hiked the million miles or so from Winterfell to Castle Black in what seems to be a day, but whatever). This is the stuff we’ve all been waiting for. The Stark kids, back together. I mean, one of them is a bastard born of his father’s infidelity (or is he?!?!?), but he’s still a Stark. And seeing Sansa take control and essentially tell Jon “we’re taking back Winterfell” was awesome to see.

Oh man, it's getting dusty in here.

They also know that Ramsay has their little brother Rickon, and they’re gonna go save him. After Jon read most of Ramsay’s threatening letter, he seemed ready to go fight. But when Sansa read the rest of the threats against her, oh boy, she’s definitely down to fight.  Blood should be flying everywhere. Here’s hoping Ramsay gets flayed much like the banners he’s got flying all over the place (especially after what he did to poor Osha).

Everyone’s favorite jerk, Littlefinger, showed up FINALLY. He’s still pulling the strings at the Vale, and he gets the truly useless Lord of the Vale, Robin, to go along with his plans to help Sansa out. This prick is the kind of guy I can get behind. Plus, if the Knights of the Vale are heading towards Castle Black and team up with Jon Snow’s wildling army, that Bolton piece of shit is TOAST.

With a smug smile and douchebag mustache, you know this guy is a prick.

Tyrion sets up a deal with the masters on Mereen: Stop helping the Harpies insurgency and they can have slavery back…but only for 7 years. It’s a deal frowned upon by Missandei and Grey Worm, but fuck them. She’s a wet blanket and he’s got no dick. Tyrion knows what he’s doing (This plan seems awful in the long run, but what do I know?). I don’t really know what is going to happen with Mereen going forward. I also kinda don’t care. It just seems like a big pause in the long run of this story, and it’s taken Tyrion from the forefront of the show. That’s a huge mistake. He’s the best character in the program and he’s relegated to maybe two scenes a week. Tis a shame.

Meanwhile, back at King’s Landing, Cersei is gathering the troops for an all-out battle against the High Sparrow and the Faith Militant. This is the kind of Cersei I like. The conniving, evil, plotting bitch from the first few seasons. She’s been a bit downtrodden the past few weeks, what with dealing with her dead kid and being forced to roam naked throughout the kingdom for her sins. But she’s back. And she mentions her Trial by Combat coming up, which will inevitably have the Zombie Mountain fighting someone the Sparrow picks out, but who? My guess is on an equally zombie-riffic Hound. That’s right, he survived-ish his imminent death somehow and we finally get our Clegane brothers all out brawl, albeit in dead person form. But still, I hope that’s how it all goes down.

And then we come to Daenerys. She’s been at Vaes Dothrak for about 8 minutes total, and then she just takes out every Khal in the fucking place by burning it to the ground. And of course she walks out of this inferno unscathed and NEKKID!! It was supposed to be a huge “HOLY SHIT” moment, which it very well may have been if they didn’t do this EXACT thing already in Season 1. Once she started chucking fire all over the flea bag Dothrakis, you knew she was walking outta that place. It took away all emotion and awe of spectacle because it’s a goddamn repeat. Scene did nothing for me. I’m glad it happened though, cause now Dany can leave there and she’s got a brand spanking new Doth army to lead. Also, how the FUCK did Daario and Jorah sneak into what looked to be Dothraki central and only run into two guys? There were legit THOUSANDS of those hairy warriors everywhere, and they ran into the Dothraki equivalent of underpaid security guards. That place is easier to sneak into than the movie theater. That made zero sense.

All in all, the best episode of the season thus far. Things are moving forward, and I’m getting excited about the (hopefully) end of the Boltons at the hands of the Starks. I NEED THIS.

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