Thursday, November 30, 2017

Music Review: Sia - Everyday is Christmas


To start, a little something about me: I hate pop Christmas albums.  They generally scream "cynical money grab" and have little to no substance, undermining the joyous, wide-eyed naivete we're all supposed to feel this time of year.  And yet here's Everyday is Christmas, the new album of original Christmas-themed tunes from Sia, to evoke warm holiday spirit and kickstart your yuletide merriment.  And the songs are pretty damn good to boot.

The album's ten tracks are mostly light and fluffy like so much Christmas snow (back when it actually snowed on Christmas), but there are a few piano ballads as well, shades of her Some People Have Real Problems era.  It's nice to hear Sia bring back some of that stuff.

An early standout for me is the Darlene Love-esque "Candy Cane Lane," which features the bounce of "Baby Please Come Home" but also a darkly uncertain chorus for a song of this ilk.  Another is the melancholy "Snowman," whose lyrics seem to suggest a metaphorical love song: "Don't cry, snowman, don't leave me this way/A puddle of water can't hold me close, baby."  My only complaint about this track is its short running time; this is one of those choruses she could get away with repeating several times.  The album's apex for me is the ode to holiday boozin', "Ho Ho Ho," another springy track with another instantly infectious chorus hook.  You may have heard a snippet of this in JC Penney's Black Friday weekend TV ads.  The album peters a little in the second half, peaking with the title track, an oddly minor-keyed love song reminiscent of "Bird Set Free," where Sia proclaims to her love interest that "Everyday is Christmas when you're here with me/I'm safe in your arms, you're my angel, baby."   

At 33 minutes, Everyday is Christmas is a quick listen but worthy of multiple spins, as there's enough going on harmonically and instrumentally for new ear candy to reveal itself each time.  It's very telling of Sia's considerable songwriting ability that even an undemanding album like Everyday is Christmas still boasts memorable hooks and quality tunes.  This could've been a total throwaway record of gratiuitous covers just to cash in on the season, but it actually holds up as a solid album.  I don't think this marvelous talent is capable of a bad record.

I give the album *** out of *****.


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Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Justice League Movie Review

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Someone's missing...

I finally watched Justice League yesterday. As someone who didn't hate but didn't love Batman V Superman, I was somewhat looking forward to this one after watching the excellent Wonder Woman. So let's dive into this and check out the good and the bad. 


GOOD: Jason Momoa as Aquaman and Ezra Miller as the Flash. They both are given some time to develop a backstory and both are quite good in these roles. Momoa as a cocky Arthur Curry is perfect casting. He's funny and he's ready for combat. Plus he confuses my pants area...I'ma surprised by that. And Miller plays the Flash as a socially awkward nerdy guy. It's not the characterization I woulda gone with but dammit, the kid nailed. He's funny throughout the whole thing and really kills this role.


These two were awesome. 



BAD: Cyborg. Not Ray Fisher playing Cyborg, he's fine. Cyborg the actual character. There is essentially no explanation for why he's this shape shifting Iron Man type dude. They tell us he was in an accident and boom he's the T-1000. It's way too fast an origin. In fact...


BAD:...Way too fast origins. They give Flash, Aqua and Cyborg like ten minutes each to tell their stories. It's simply not enough time. The reason the Marvel movies work so well is we see those characters through the growing pains and how they become heroes. In this, it's all way too quick. Here's a fast guy who even tells Batman "I've never been in a fight" aaaaaaand now he's fighting flying demons. Here's a robot guy that doesn't even know how his robot body works aaaaaaand now he's shape shifting to make a laser gun. Without the proper setup for these guys and their powers, there's no individual arc for us to cheer on. It's simply "here's superheroes, cheer along" 


GOOD: SPOILER ALERT but not really. So Superman is back and they finally seem to understand how to do this character, at least a little bit better. I mean, it's strange for him to come back from the dead and lighten up, but whatevs, I'm glad Henry Cavill gets to play a real Superman. 

Monday, November 20, 2017

WWE Survivor Series 2017: I Hate This Family

Man, how awesome is this?  Wait, it's all gonna go to shit in ten minutes??

Well, just like last year's Survivor Series, this was a very good PPV that had a mindnumbingly stupid main event.  The problem is, unlike last year's main event which only took up 90 seconds of my time, this one took 33 minutes.  Brock Lesnar went from the worst match of the night in 2016 to the best match in 2017, while the men's elimination match took the opposite path.  What the hell is this company doing?  And for the love of shit, why is it necessary for these RAW vs. Smackdown shows to feature everyone clad in idiotic red and blue T-shirts?  We know who's on which show, dickheads.  All you need is for all the wrestlers to include red or blue in their normal ring gear.  Stop insulting me.

The show opened, smartly, with the six-man tag between two very over squads, The Shield and The New Day.  The crowd was into this and loved both teams (except Roman who got a smattering of "you still suck" chants).  Both trios worked hard and aside from a couple miscues (which seemed oddly prevalent on this show), threw together a very enjoyable 21-minute match which loads of false finishes and an actual ending that was a callback to an earlier spot.  After being thwarted earlier in the match, The Shield put it away with their signature triple powerbomb, but delivered it from the second rope.  If anything this match could've been maybe three minutes shorter, and it wasn't at the same level of the Shield's amazing 2014 matches with The Wyatts and Evolution.  But it was a hot opener with a big-fight feel and established The New Day as very worthy opponents for the dominant Shield.

If you didn't pick these guys to win, I dunno what to tell ya.

The women's elimination match was next, after a baffling backstage pep talk from Stephanie McMahon to her RAW team that once again made the actual women wrestlers look subservient to the boss's daughter.  I don't want to see McMahons on my TV screen anymore.  I'm sick to goddamn death of this family.  Anyway, the match itself got over 18 minutes and didn't feel like a sprint, but still felt a bit rushed.  Too many eliminations were too sudden, like Becky Lynch's unceremonious exit two minutes in.  Stop doing these surprise early eliminations, god damn you!  They aren't surprising if you do them every year.  From there we got a battle of the bulls, as Nia Jax and Tamina faced off.  Tamina won this round by repeatedly attacking Nia outside the ring and hitting her dad's Superfly splash on the floor, getting Nia counted out.  Bayley also fell to Tamina's splash, while Alicia Fox was the victim of a horrendous fast count by the ref.  Naomi had rolled her up and she was clearly supposed to kick out before being locked in a submission hold, but the referee counted 1...2-3 and basically pushed her out of the ring.  Someone fucked up.  It all boiled down to Nattie and Tamina vs. Asuka, allowing the Empress of Tomorrow to fully demonstrate her dominance by eliminating both opponents clean.  Not a great match but a good one that accomplished what it needed to.  Asuka is the woman of the hour.

Asuka's main roster push is back on track.

Friday, November 17, 2017

NXT TakeOver: WarGames Preview & Predictions

Oh man.......oh mama......it finally happened.......WWE is resurrecting WARGAMES!!!!


Nevermind that the new version of the rules doesn't make much sense and is yet another entry in the WWE Fixed Something That Wasn't Broke category, this is gonna be a lotta fun.  I've been a fan of WarGames since I first bought the NWA Great American Bash '87 tape back in the day.  The visual of two rings surrounded by a steel cage with ten guys bloodying each other senseless for 25 minutes was the stuff of legend.  I'm not sure how NXT will handle the blood situation; maybe there will be a few "accidental on purpose" hardways.  Regardless, I'm looking forward to this main event.  But as always, NXT has a host of other intriguing matchups this Saturday, so let's take a look...


First off, there's a dark match between UK Champ Pete Dunne and Johnny Gargano, and I'm baffled this isn't on the special.  That would probably steal the goddamn show.  Christ.



Kassius Ohno vs. Lars Sullivan


I know next to nothing about Sullivan, so it's hard to give much of an educated opinion on this one, but Ohno will work hard to make him look good I'm sure.  Since Sullivan is 303 pounds you know WWE officials are salivating at the idea of a new monster character.  I'm guessing Ohno's only here to give him a good win.

Justin: Lars
Landon: Sullivan





Aleister Black vs. The Velveteen Dream


Former Tough Enough contestant Patrick Clark will be the latest to get bludgeoned by Black, on his rise to the NXT main event scene.  Not much more to say about this; it's obviously another Black showcase match.

Justin: Aleister Black
Landon: Black is probably being groomed to take the title from Adam Cole, or he'll be ready very soon.





NXT Women's Championship: Ember Moon vs. Kairi Sane vs. Nikki Cross vs. Peyton Royce


I'm looking forward to this.  Asuka's departure left a vacant NXT Women's Title, and this is the match to fill that vacancy.  As I see it, this is really a two-horse race.  Royce has no chance of winning, nor should she, Nikki is the spoiler candidate here but won't end up taking it.  It's realistically between Ember Moon, who was Asuka's heir apparent, and Kairi Sane, who, like Asuka, is a very accomplished Japanese import.  I think it's too soon for Sane to win the belt, and it would look too much like they were just plugging her into Asuka's spot.  Ember Moon should finally capture the title and get a decent run before Sane eventually dethrones her.

Justin: Ember
Landon: Ember


Thursday, November 16, 2017

Awesomely Shitty Movies: Batman v Superman

Welcome to Enuffa.com!  It's been a while, but the time has come to resurrect the old favorite, Awesomely Shitty Movies!  Some of you know the drill, but for those who don't, ASM is where I examine the good and bad elements of some piece of cinematic tripe.  

And today's entry certainly falls into that category.  That's right, it's Zack Snyder's divisive creation, the long-awaited Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice!


This 151-minute superhero mashup marks the first time in history that Metropolis's messiah and Gotham's masked vigilante share the big screen, and I can assure you it ain't to swap gazpacho recipes.  Nope, it's to pummel the ever-lovin' shit out of each other (and also to set up the Avengers-esque Justice League movie in 2017....mostly it's for that reason actually).

Henry Cavill is back as Kal-El, the brooding, reluctant alien hero from Man of Steel who sorta looks like Superman but doesn't share any of his character traits.  In Batman's cape and cowl this time is Ben Affleck, who might just have the greatest superhero jaw in the history of the world, and who is also ENORMOUS in this film.  Huge.  Like, did anyone check who's supplying his "vitamins?"  Plus we have Israeli model Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman and Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor(??).  So let's get to it - what worked and what didn't?



The Awesome (For the purposes of this column I use that term loosely)


Visuals

As with most of Zack Snyder's work, the visuals here are super slick, very stylized, and moody.  Just like Man of Steel, the color palette in BvS is very muted and there are a lot of CG enhancements, but the costumes look badass and there's plenty of eye-candy.

Lotta cool-looking stuff in this movie


Batfleck

For all the complaining when he was cast, Ben Affleck makes a pretty good Batman.  It helps that his costume is based on Frank Miller's wonderful version of the suit, giving Affleck a fearsome, bulky appearance.  His Bruce Wayne is older, more grizzled, more cynical, and more ruthless.  Affleck plays possibly the most tortured screen version of the character to date, who's given up trying to be a normal dude, even letting Wayne Manor fall into decay and settling for the modernized guest house nearby (This was a nice touch I thought, and served as interesting symbolism for the character).  Also his electronically-enhanced "Bat-voice" is way cool-sounding and I think they've finally found the right way to execute that.  All that said though, I still never fully felt I was watching Batman.  I was always at least slightly aware it was Ben Affleck in a Batsuit.  But overall no real complaints about Batfleck.

Possibly the best-looking cinematic Bat-suit



Some Superman Scenes

Cavill as Superman is still monosyllabic and therefore almost impossible to identify with.  Aside from his look (which is perfect), Cavill has still not proved to me that he's the correct choice for Kal-El, nor does he even bother playing Clark Kent as a different character.  To all those people who say Lois should know Clark and Supes are the same person because it's unrealistic for her not to figure it out, I say this: If Superman doesn't act any differently as Clark Kent, isn't it more unrealistic for everyone else (including the World's Greatest Detective Batman) not to put it together?

However unlike Man of Steel, BvS at least provides Clark a few scenes where we feel a little something for him, such as the one after he fails to stop a bombing and expresses to Lois that maybe he wasn't meant to be a hero.  This idea doesn't really get explored further, but the scene itself was well done.



Frank Miller Influence

This movie is FULL of visual references to Miller's The Dark Knight Returns.  I already mentioned the Batsuit lifted right out of Miller's artwork, plus the armored Batsuit (which looks INCREDIBLE in movie form), much of the Bats vs. Supes fight itself, and some unrelated moments I'll get to in a bit.  It was cool to see Miller's iconic version of Batman brought to life.

I knew this looked familiar....

WWE Survivor Series 2017 Preview & Predictions


Wow.  What a bizarre build to this year's Survivor Series.  The card has changed roughly 78 times since the matches were first announced four weeks ago, and amazingly the show went from a surefire stinker to one of the best on-paper lineups of the year.  That doesn't mean of course that WWE won't fuck this up, they've demonstrated on many occasions their uncanny ability to botch something as simple as bagged salad mix.  But my optimism for this show being good has probably tripled in the last two weeks.  I went from full-on dreading it to actually having hope that this will be on par with last year's surprisingly excellent Survivor Series.  While I do think the champion vs. champion gimmick is dumb overall, three of the four matches are now very promising.  And while the RAW vs. Smackdown nonsense is forced and drivelous, the two elimination matches have the potential to be great.

So let's take a look at the matchups and see what makes sense.

***I'm leading still, with 62/88 (70%), Landon's in second with 51/76 (67%), Dave's in third with 36/54 (66.666666%), and Dan's in the rear (heh....rear...) with 54/88 (61%).***



Pre-Show Cruiserweight Championship: Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto


Thank Christ this got bumped to the pre-show.  What a pointless match, feud, and title.  This division is deader than dead.  If anyone's tuning in specifically for the 205 Live stuff, I feel sorry for you.

Justin: Enzo retains.  Who gives a shit?
Dan: I guess.  He stinks.
Landon: Enzo.  Fuck this company.
Dave: My god, I don't care.  Enzo I guess.





Champion vs. Champion: The Miz vs. Baron Corbin


This is the one main card match I'm really not at all interested in.  Who fuckin' cares about this?  Both guys are heels, only one is good at his job, and there's literally nothing at stake.  This match should get as little time as possible.  Corbin really should've dropped the belt to a rising babyface star prior to this (Not you Sin Cara!), so there'd be something to care about.

Justin: Miz gets a cheap win
Dan: COME ON MIZZY!
Landon: Miz.  Fuck this company.
Dave: Miz rules.

Tuesday, November 14, 2017

2017 World Tag League Preview


Well...This is certainly underwhelming. Usually there's some fun to be had out of the World Tag League, but this year the rosters seem really barren. Naito is vacationing in Mexico, Kenny is off in the Eliteverse, and I can only assume that Okada and Tanahashi are going into two of Lord Frieza's Medical Machines for the next month. So what we're left with is a handful of established tag teams, odd faction amalgamations, and a few last minute cobbled together teams that fill out a weak Tag Tournament. But, there's still some joy that can be found in all this. What's good, what's bad, and what'll work? That's what we're here for.



A Block

Bad Luck Fale and Chase Owens (Bullet Club)

Landon: I love Chase Owens and he deserves to do better than he will.

Justin: This here is the Bullet Club C-Team.  They won't be winning the tournament.



EVIL and SANADA (Los Ingobernables de Japon)

Landon: I think that EVIL and SANADA are going all the way. They're at least sweeping this block. They have nothing better going for the next few months, so they could drop the 6-Man belts (sorry BUSHI) and be a proper native top heavyweight tag team.

Justin: Evil and Sanada have to be one of the two or three favorites to win the whole thing.  They aren't involved in a feud right now and they need something good to do for the Dome.  A tag title match would do nicely.



Hangman Page and Yujiro Takahashi (Bullet Club)

Justin: And this is the Bullet Club D-Team.  Next?

Landon: You know at least they were a tag team before literally these announcements. I know they won't go far, but Yujiro and Hangman have both stepped up their efforts in their respective home companies. Maybe they'll show promise here.


Wednesday, November 8, 2017

ESPN 30 For 30 Documentary Review: Ric Flair Nature Boy

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Last night, ESPN premiered their newest sports documentary about the stylin', profilin', limousine riding, jet flying, kiss-stealing, wheelin' n' dealin' son of a gun Ric Flair.


This man is not only a wrestling legend but he has transcended that stardom in the squared circle to become one of life's superstars. Everyone knows who Ric Flair is. Everyone knows what his bedazzled robes look like. And of course we all know his signature catchphrase--'WOOOOOO!'

But what about the man? This documentary gets in to the man...kind of. It's definitely more about the playboy persona of RIC FLAIR WORLD CHAMPION but it does give some insight into Richard Fliehr, the adpoted son of strict, tie wearing parents. It delves into how young Richard loved wrestling but his father wanted nothing to do with it...and that's it. It's barely five minutes of talking about Ric's childhood and lack of interest from his parents. There's clearly more to the story there as you can see it affected Ric greatly but the director chose to move on from that pretty quickly I thought.

We then move onto his wrestling career and man oh man did this guy do some hard living. There's a scene (some scenes were animated when Flair was telling stories, as this one was) where he describes his daily intake of booze. 10 beers and 5 mixed drinks everyday he worked. Well, he's a wrassler, and he worked everyday so he drank that amount EVERYDAY.


Well, hello new phone background. 

WWE Smackdown: AJ Hinders Jinder

Well.  That's certainly an improvement.


Last night on Smackdown, AJ Styles unseated WWE's worst Champion of all time (Yup, I'm goin' there), Jinder Mahal to not only capture the belt but take Jinder's spot in the Survivor Series main event against Brock Lesnar.  And thus we now potentially have a main event worth watching, provided Vince doesn't just book Lesnar to squash AJ.  What SHOULD happen at Survivor Series is Brock has a bitch of a time catching the lightning-quick Styles and is kept off balance for much of an 18-minute match, finally getting his XXXXL-gloved hands on AJ toward the end and lowering the boom.  I have zero problem with Brock beating AJ, but it's gotta look good and be a competitive match.  For the first time in a WWE ring we have two former IWGP Heavyweight Champions squaring off.  That in and of itself is quite something.  The match could be fantastic if they do it right.  Please do it right, Vince.  Throw us a frickin' bone here.....

There was another title change this week, as Cesaro & Sheamus regained the RAW tag belts from Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose.  I'm not crazy about this change unless it's to create a Shield match (more on that in a sec), as we now have yet another heel champion vs. heel champion match.  For 24 hours every title in the company was held by a heel.  Normally I'm fine with that scenario, but not if you're doing champion vs. champion matches in two weeks.  I really would've liked to see Owens & Zayn beat The Usos for the Smackdown belts and face Ambrose & Rollins, but that one's not in the cards. 

Instead what seems imminent to be added to the lineup is The Shield vs. The New Day.  At least that's what's being teased.  Should be a good match, but why not just add The Bar and The Usos (or better, KO & Sami) and make it another 5-on-5 elimination match?  There's no belts on the line anyway, so who cares?  I'd rather see a third Survivor Series match on the Survivor Series PPV.  Call me crazy, call me a pervert.  Anyway....

Next week's Smackdown will have two title matches that could further change the card.  This build has been the weirdest since the Russo era.  Baron Corbin is defending against Sin Cara - why are they pushing him again all of a sudden?? - but I won't be sad if Cara wins because a) it's makes a heel vs. face match at Survivor Series, and b) Miz vs. Sin Cara will be a helluva lot more fun than Miz vs. Corbin.  And Nattie is defending against Charlotte.  While I'd be sad to see Nattie's reign cut so short, Alexa vs. Charlotte is also a heel vs. face matchup and will probably get the crowd more engaged than Alexa vs. Nattie.  So both changes could be positives, and I assume Nattie would take Charlotte's place in the women's elimination match. 

If the Shield-New Day match gets added, Survivor Series will have an 8-match lineup.  Please tell me the Enzo-Kalisto match gets bumped to the pre-show then?  No one gives a shit about that one, and even for a four-hour show, eight matches is a lot when two of them are 5-on-5.  I'm guessing Owens and Zayn get involved in the men's elimination match and screw over Shane's team.  I'm also guessing Jinder gets added as the fifth man for Smackdown (Ugh)? 

Still so much up in the air for this show, considering it's in eleven days.  But at least we have a strong main event now.  More importantly, Jinder Mahal's Reign of Suck is finally over.  Let's keep it that way.



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Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Movie Review: Jigsaw (2017)

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal



All right, I've said A LOT about these movies in the last month. I had to re-watch 'em all just so I'd be good and prepared for the newest chapter, Jigsaw. So how does it compare to the rest of these flicks?

Eh. It's ok. It's a ton of the same shit that came before. And a lot more convulted-ed-ness (that's a word). John "Jigsaw" Kramer is dead...OR IS HE?!?!? A new group of shmucks are stuck in a new shithole trapped in a situation eerily similar to Jiggy's M.O. Is it him? Come back from the dead?!?!?

We're introduced to a buncha new characters. There's hard-boiled detective Halloran, his partner detective Hunt, medical examiners Logan and ginger Eleanor. And then the whole slew of folk trapped inside of Jigsaw's newest game. I'd tell you their names, but they're completely forgettable.

Our suspects, ladies & gentlemen. 


Without getting too spoilery, these people hafta atone for their past sins by having pieces of their body flayed off. It's fun! While they're all trapped up bleeding everywhere, the cops and the medical folk obviously start suspecting each other as being the new Saw dude because they're the only ones in the movie that could. So a buncha people get hacked up, no one learns a lesson and there's a twist ending with SOMEONE being a murderer type.

Did I like this one? I mean, I like them all, but this one kinda stunk. The problem with this particular episode is it's kinda obvious who's pulling the strings. At least in the other flicks I was sorta guessing what the plot twist was gonna be. When it happens here, it only confirmed my suspicions. There's a point in the movie where they make it quite obvious that the person doing the Saw'ing is the only possible one that could've manipulated everything into place. So without the surprise element, this one's lacking a fundamental Saw piece.

Monday, November 6, 2017

NJPW Power Struggle Review: JERICHO!!!!

Wow, what a show, both in terms of match quality (three ****+ matches to close the PPV by my calculation) and perhaps more significantly in terms of setting up WrestleKingdom 12.  NJPW Power Struggle is likely to be remembered at least as much for its post-match angles as for its matches, with Tokyo Dome bouts set up for the Jr. Tag belts (RPG3K vs. Young Bucks is sure to be spectacular), the Jr. belt (if you're doing a Fatal 4-way these are the four guys you want), the Intercontinental Title (the push seems a little sudden but I've been eagerly awaiting Jay White's return to the company), and one of the most earth-shattering announcements in New Japan history, Kenny Omega defending the US Title against Chris Jericho!


This is simply huge.  That an 18-year WWE veteran has jumped ship to New Japan indicates a potentially seismic shift in the industry the likes of which we haven't seen since WCW came knocking on Vince's door back in 1995.  For the first time since the Monday Night War, a very relevant WWE fixture has willingly decided to try his hand in a different company that currently has a major buzz around it.  For a wrestler at this stage of his career to yearn for a new challenge rather than taking the easy, reliable paycheck is remarkable, and it illustrates how much hotter the New Japan brand is right now than WWE (not to mention how committed Jericho is to reinventing himself).  NJPW is becoming the place where wrestlers go to improve their game.  WWE is where wrestlers go to make as much money as they can while they're still healthy.  What's also telling is the numerous New Japan/ROH talents who have declined WWE contracts like Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks, and the recent WWE departures like Austin Aries and Neville who asked for their WWE release.  Wrestlers are increasingly discovering they can make a good living and actually be used based on their strengths outside of WWE, rather than floundering in a company that doesn't seem interested in creating legitimate box office draws.  It's a truly exciting development and I can't wait to see both the Jericho-Omega match, and Jericho's post-Dome New Japan run.  I assume it'll be a 3-6 month tenure and then he'll go back on tour with Fozzy.  We could easily see him return to WWE at some point as well, but the fact that he chose to go somewhere else after repeatedly vowing never to wrestle for any other company speaks volumes of how hot New Japan is right now.   

Alright, moving on to the actual PPV.  Power Struggle was, in my estimation, New Japan's third-best show of 2017 (after WK11 and Dominion of course).  The undercard was a solid, consistently entertaining series of matches, and from the Jr. Tag Finals on we were treated to a variety of good-to-excellent bouts, concluding with, as I mentioned, three stupendous outings.

The Young Bucks returned to New Japan in the opening match to make fairly quick work of Titan and Dragon Lee.  It was a brief seven-minute encounter but a nicely executed, fun opener that re-established the Bucks as the division's team to beat.  No complaints there.

Next up were a pair of multi-man tags to keep the crowd feelin' good.  Suzuki-Gun took a quick dive against Juice Robinson's squad when Kushida tapped out Taka Michinoku.  Not much to that match but it was inoffensive and quick.  Then TenCozy and Togi Makabe had an enjoyable little match against the Bullet Club C-team when Kojima pinned Chase Owens. 

Friday, November 3, 2017

NJPW Power Struggle 2017 Preview & Predictions


Power Struggle is, barring the World Tag League, the final stop to the Tokyo Dome. After this, there are no more matches for the Big Four titles of New Japan, all the title matches for the Domewill be decided here, or soon after. The undercard is underwhelming, but the second half promises to be a rockin' outing. It's only a few days away, and Justin and I are running down just what's gonna happen in Osaka.




David Finlay vs. Katsuya Kitamura

Landon: This might end up being Kitamura's first win over a non-Young Lion in New Japan. There's obviously a tremendous upside to the rookie, but history tells that Finlay will pick up the win here.

Justin: Gotta stick with the non-rookie.  Should be a nice little match though.




Nick Jackson and Matt Jackson vs Dragon Lee and Titan

Landon: "We have nothing for the Young Bucks really, and we have the CMLL guys here still. So..." Young Bucks to win here, possibly to face SHO and YOH at the Tokyo Dome.

Justin: Bucks of Youth have to win here.  YB vs. RPG3K at the Dome.




Juice Robinson, Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask IV, Kushida, and Hirai Kawato vs Suzuki-Gun (Zack Sabre Jr., Taichi, Yoshinobu Kanemaru, El Desperado, and TAKA Michinoku)

Landon: Something for the Suzuki-Gun Junior Brigade to do, and something for the Seiki-Gun to do. Kawato probably eats the fall, maybe from El Desperado

Justin: Yes, SG wins, if for no other reason than to keep ZSJ strong heading into the Dome.




Togi Makabe, Hiroyoshi Tenzan, and Satoshi Kojima vs. Bullet Club (Cody, Yujiro Takahashi, and Chase Owens)

Landon: This entire Undercard for this show is really weird. I guess the only thing that could come of this is Makabe pinning Chase. Whether that sets up for the NEVER Openweight title match against Suzuki I've been demanding for months, or even an ROH World Championship match, I don't know. I don't expect much.

Justin: Bullet Club so Cody looks strong.


Thursday, November 2, 2017

Fast & Furious Controversy: Tyrese Threatens To Quit

By B-Cuddy




[EDITOR'S NOTE I'll be honest, no one here at Enuffa gives a rat's ass about Tyrese or these movies. In fact, this is all just an excuse for B-Cuddy to bitch about these 8 (fucking EIGHT?!?!?) pieces of shit. Take it away, Cuddy.]

My wife loves these movies so I have had to sit through the last few of 'em. I still love her though cause I'm a helluva guy. Anyways, it's like the Olympics of bad acting. The stories are so over the top and nonsensical, that for any of those morons to think they're irreplaceable is laughable.


Here are the 5 worst performances from the two that I've watched.



5. The Rock


Seems like a nice guy but he has the emotional range of a can opener. Being on steroids has done his career wonders. I bet even Justin agrees with this. I'd ask him about it, but anytime the Rock gets brought up, you gotta wait a while until Justin cleans himself off.  (Editor's Note: Umm, that's Prof's gig).



4. Ludacris


How is he an actor? And how the fuck did he get cast as the nerdy tech guy?? It would be more believable if my aunt had this role, and she can barely turn the TV on. 


3. Tyrese


Sucks at singing, sucks at acting. He plays the "comic relief" and is always panicking for some reason or another. Which is odd because he continues to be part of a crew who's entire existence is based off high speed chases and explosions and I don't fucking know what else. Perhaps it is actually time for both he and his character to quit. Also, not a laugh to be had. But since he's taking his ball and going home, a spot has opened up. And if you want laughs, hire my man Pickles. He's an actor. (In theory). Just change it to an R-rated flick because there's gonna be a lot of colorful language. C-bombs like ya read about. 




2. Michelle Rodriguez




In one of these hunks of shit, this dame gets amnesia. FUCKING AMNESIA. Because when you get 8 deep into a movie franchise, you gotta break amnesia out at some point. I wish I had amnesia from watching her act. The only one who's worse is Vin himself (SPOILER ALERT!). Apparently Vin's character fancies himself a gal on his acting level, and someone who looks like him. No, seriously, they look similar. It's weird. 


1. Vin Diesel




First of all, what a preposterous asshole name. If a porn actor told a studio his name was Vin Diesel, they'd tell him to pick something less stupid. But i digress...

Maybe the worst actor I've ever seen. Its close between him and that kid who turned Darth Vader into a whiney bitch. From what I've gathered between these movies and his dodge commercial, his entire career is based of having a deep voice. And supposedly being bulky? Maybe that worked until the Rock showed up and cucked him into the next galaxy. AMIRITE, Jingles???!!!


I wish I was surprised these movies made money, but I mean, just look at the world we live in now. It's utter chaos. 



That's all for B-Cuddy.  Thanks for reading, and join our Facebook group HERE.