Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 5 (I Like Heels Now)

February 3rd, 1989 - The moment which altered my perception of pro wrestling forever.  It was the second annual Friday night WWF special, The Main Event.  Like the previous year, the WWF used this live primetime broadcast to set the stage for WrestleMania.  This time however it was The MegaPowers vs. The Twin Towers - a match/angle that would be the catalyst for WrestleMania V. 

For months the company had been building to the eventual breakup of Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage, throwing in subtle hints of dissension before eventually staging multiple in-ring arguments.  The Main Event would be the night their partnership would dissolve.

During the bout, Savage was thrown out of the ring and landed on Elizabeth, knocking her to the floor.  Hogan spent the next several minutes seeing to her care and brought her to the dressing room for medical attention (Watching this segment now is positively guffaw-inducing, mostly due to Hogan's ridiculous overacting, but to my 13-year-old eyes at the time it was intense drama.), leaving Savage alone against his two massive opponents.  When Hogan finally returned to the ring, Savage abandoned him after slapping him in the face, much to the shock of the crowd.

So goofy by today's standards, but man this angle was brilliant.

Friday, June 26, 2015

The Wrestling Mid-Year Report

Welcome back to Enuffa.com, and a special Wrestling Mid-Year Report!  Today I'll be taking a look back at the first half of 2015 and examining what worked and what didn't, where the major companies are going, and I'll give my unofficial picks for the best of the year thus far.  Let's get on it.



2015's been a roller coaster for WWE so far; for the second straight year their planned direction for WrestleMania season was met with a mixed-at-best response.  Vince's choice for the next top babyface, Roman Reigns, failed to galvanize the fanbase.  Quite the opposite in fact; when it became evident Reigns would likely be given the ball at WrestleMania, he was met with a harsh backlash to which even The Rock wasn't immune.  After a pretty terrible Royal Rumble show where WWE seemed to completely bury the few babyfaces who were actually over (Daniel Bryan, Dean Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler), it looked like we'd be in for a pretty rotten WrestleMania season, particularly since WWE Champion Brock Lesnar seemed to be on his way out of the company. 

WWE addressed the elephant in the room at February's new PPV FastLane, by having Roman Reigns defend his WrestleMania spot against the fans' top choice, Daniel Bryan.  In what was both a very strong match and a good indicator that Reigns could handle himself in a singles main event, Roman retained his 'Mania spot and was seemingly confirmed as the next big star.  Also at FastLane rising heel Rusev got his first real main event-level match against John Cena, and actually beat WWE's posterboy somewhat decisively. 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Dan's Top 9: Fictional Drugs

Ah, Drugs. Can’t beat 'em when it comes to having a night out on the town that lasts for 4 days and ends in St. Louis. But we are getting screwed here in the real world. In the fictional world there are countless drugs out there with incredible powers that can only be brought to you be the very best special effects artists. Here now are the best of the best.


DAN'S TOP

FICTIONAL DRUGS

9. Nuke (Robocop 2):  The only real power this drug has is turning an awesome Sci-Fi action movie into a shitty, muddled mess of crap WITHOUT Kurtwood Smith’s evil Clarence Boddicker character…so pointless.

AWESOME

8. ALZ-112, ALZ-113 (New Planet of the Apes series): Erases Alzheimer’s AND empowers monkeys with smarts & less poo flinging. Which is quite remarkable as the feces toss is paramount to a good time in the primate world. And I, for one, welcome our new Ape overlords.

Friday, June 19, 2015

RIP My Playstation 3: How To Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One

(Editor's Note: Let's all offer our condolences to Dan Moore in his time of heartbreak.  I'm here for ya buddy.....)

Yesterday was a dark day in the Moore household. There I was, minding my own business, and John Marston's business as well; a standard game of Red Dead Redemption on the good ol' PS3, when BEEP...then blank screen. 'The hell? Glitches happen, what can ya do? I calmly (not at all calmly, I was swearing like a sailor with the clap) restarted the system and then I saw it. The light. The yellow light.  The awful, terrible yellow light of death.  I had heard about this horrible light before and was now experiencing its awfulness. It stared deeply into my eyes, taunting me. This was the light that signals a fatal problem with the motherboard, a death sentence for the system. I was devastated. My old friend was dead. 

Beautiful, isn't she?
RIP PS3: Summer 2007-June 18th, 2015

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Game of Thrones Review: Mother's Mercy

Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.

Well folks, another GoT finale, another kick to the groin for characters we love. It seems every year the creators decide that they've had enough of a fan favorite character and bump that person right off. It's brutal. RIP Myrcella Baratheon. You will be missed.

She was...probably cool.


Thursday, June 11, 2015

WWE Money in the Bank 2015 Predictions!!

Welcome to what has become a biweekly tradition at Enuffa.com, the WWE PPV Predictions column, where my associate Dan Moore and I break down WWE's upcoming "special events."



After a pretty great Elimination Chamber show, WWE has assembled another strong on-paper lineup, and while the build has been uneven as usual, I look forward to several of the bouts.

Justin leads Dan 20/30 to 19/30.  It's a real horse race we've got goin'!


Preshow Match: King Barrett vs. R-Truth


Jeezus, Barrett's in a career free-fall.  I don't understand a) why they can't just push the guy as a dominant midcard bully and b) why having anyone win the King of the Ring tourney ruins that person's life for at least six months.  Anyway, this feud's pretty pointless and these two have wrestled each other about a million times on free television, with Truth usually getting the upset win.

Justin's pick: Christ, give Barrett a win, will ya?
Dan's pick: POINTLESS. How do you make a half assed, on the fly KOTR tourney, pick a guy to win it & then just bury him? I don't get it. The Truth will set you free.



Tag Team Championship: New Day vs. Prime Time Players


I found it odd that PTP was the last team eliminated in the Chamber two weeks ago, being that they just got back together and hadn't really been built up again.  That said, I'm glad Young and O'Neil are a team once again, since they're 2014 split was utterly useless for both guys.  This match should be solid.

Justin's pick: New Day retains
Dan's pick: Yup



Divas Championship: Nikki Bella vs. Paige


The Divas division is still a clustermess, with no clear moral alignment from anyone.  Are the Bellas heels or babyfaces?  Which one is Paige?  None of this shit makes any sense.  Is the entire division stuck in the "shades of gray" Attitude Era?

Justin's pick: Nikki retains, probably until she eclipses AJ Lee's record-breaking Title run.
Dan's pick: I think they'll have Nikki break the record. Just so Mrs. Punk is outta the record books. (BTW, they should really be making a bigger deal of Nikki's streak here, right? Make it sound like a big deal, get some intrigue & suspense into this thing)



Intercontinental Championship: Ryback vs. Big Show


Really?  This is the best challenger you could come up with for Ryback?  You are aware Ryback is taking up Daniel Bryan's old job of restoring the IC Title to prominence and prestige, yes?  Fuck me.....

Justin's pick: Ryback
Dan's pick: Dude, enough with Paul Wight. Goldberg II will win.



John Cena vs. Kevin Owens


After a near show stealing match at EC, these two have the stiff challenge of topping themselves.  I think they can do so now that they'll be more comfortable with each other in the ring.  Owens has been booked superbly, so let's hope WWE doesn't screw this up.

Justin's pick: I'm guessing Cena wins in non-decisive fashion to set up a rubber match.
Dan's pick: Cena by DQ



Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Neville vs. Kane


On paper this looks like a fine Ladder Match (though again I'm pretty burned out on this concept and it needs to be a once-a-year-at-most kinda thing.  I'm not sure why Kofi is suddenly being thrust into singles action when he's got a great three-man team going, but I'm sure he'll pull off some spectacular stunts, as will Neville.  What the flyin' hell is Kane doing in this match?  I guess if Kane were to win he could use that as something to hold over Rollins' head, which could be entertaining.  But fuck, man, the guy's almost 50 years old.  He needs to be phased out as an active competitor.

Justin's pick: Roman Reigns is the obvious choice, and Sheamus is the dark horse.  I guess Reigns presents more creative options than Sheamus, so I'll go with Rock's cousin.
Dan's pick: Yeah, the only entrants with a shot are Sheamus and RR. I prefer when a heel has the briefcase so he can score a title shot in nefarious ways, but I think Reigns takes it.



WWE Championship Ladder Match: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose


These two stole the show at Chamber and I fully expect them to do the same here.  I could watch Ambrose and Rollins pretend to beat each other up all day long.  Unlike the multi-man Ladder Match, I still really enjoy the one-on-one variety, as they can actually tell a story while taking sick bumps.  This should be great.

Justin's pick: Rollins retains and gets his strap back after Ambrose's theft of said item.
Dan's pick: Seth for the win here (though here's what I'd like to see: RR wins the briefcase. Seth & Dean go at it in a vicious brawl, with Ambrose coming out as champion, to be congratulated by his friend Roman...who promptly bashes Ambrose with said case, and pins him for the heel turn and the win. Sets up Reigns v Ambrose for the belt for summer slam, and Brock comes back as a good guy to get revenge on Rollins in the co-main event. BOOM - perfect booking)


That's certainly a popular scenario - a lot of folks are predicting exactly that.  I'd be okay with it, but I dunno how likely a Reigns heel turn is.


There's our MITB picks.  The show looks like another solid piece of bidness from WWE.  Let's hope it lives up to the promise.  See ya next time!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Game of Thrones Review: The Dance of Dragons

(Editor's Note: My associate Dan Moore is back to review the latest Game of Thrones episode.  As always the content of this review is Greek to me, being that I've never seen a single episode of this show.  Seriously, I haven't the slightest fucking idea what he's talking about......)


Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.


This weeks episode was a torture chamber of emotions. Whereas last week's hour put the Night's Watch through a physical ringer, 'The Dance of Dragons' put the viewer through the emotional ringer. A lot happened in many locales this week so I'll break it down by region.


DORNE

Ok, let's recap this story: Jamie, with the help of sell sword Bronn, heads to Dorne to rescue his diece (that's daughter/niece, people) Myrcella from danger. Meanwhile, dead (Goddammit) Prince Oberyn's children, the Sand Snakes, led by their mother Ellaria Sand, decide they have to kidnap Myrcella to start a war with the Lannisters. It all goes to hell, Jamie, Bronn and the Sand Snakes all end up in the clink. One of the girls gets naked, Bronn is poisoned for like eleven seconds, and then The reigning Dornish Prince, Doran, decides to let everyone go. He not only lets Jamie take Myrcella with him, but also her betrothed, his son Prince Trystane to serve on the small council back at King's Landing.

Monday, June 8, 2015

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: Escape Plan

Welcome to another edition of Dumb Action Movie Reviews, wherein I, Dan Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, Youtube and various other websites looking for crappy action movies. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.



NOTE: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW BECAUSE THERE HAS TO BE. BUT DONT WORRY, THE SPOILERS ARE POINTLESS, JUST LIKE THE PLOT TWISTS IN THE MOVIE.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Game of Thrones Review: Hardhome

**Editor's Note: I have never seen a single episode of Game of Thrones, so I'll have to take Dan's word for it that this week's show was the greatest thing since the discovery of the orgasm.  I didn't understand a word of this review Dan, not a fuckin' word......**


Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, as most people nowadays are. I've also only watched the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.

Anyways, this weeks episode was INSANE. The first 40 minutes were quite good, moving along the various plots of Westeros. Arya continues her training in the House of Black & White. Sansa has learned from the artist formerly known as Theon that her brothers are, in fact, alive. Tyrion has finally had his meeting with the Khaleesi, and these two put on a fine back and forth to see if they can work together to possibly bring peace to the Five Kingdoms.

But FUCK ALL THAT. Ice Zombie War!!! Holy SHIT that was awesome.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Elimination Chamber Is the Best WWE PPV So Far in 2015

What's up gang?  Just wanted to share a few thoughts about the Elimination Chamber PPV we all watched last night. 



First off, I really enjoyed this show.  There wasn't a bad match on the card and the two big singles matches delivered huge.  For a show thrown together in the span of two weeks, WWE did a tremendous job of making it feel important and assembling a strong, entertaining card.

The Tag Chamber was a really fun way to kick things off.  There are few things in wrestling that warm my heart quite like the sight of a full-fledged tag team division.  While not every team on the roster has a direction right now, just the fact that there are enough viable duos to fill a Chamber brings to mind the wonderful tag divisions of the late 80s.  Five of the six teams got at least a few moments to shine (Los Matadores kinda got the shaft, but El Torito got some highspots in), and The Ascension looked better than they ever have.  Cesaro/Kidd of course did the lion's share of the work to hold the match together, and I was a little disappointed they weren't in the final segment with The New Day.  But make no mistake, this was enjoyable from start to finish while also making the Tag Titles seem important.  The New Day continues to be one of the best acts on the show these days.  What a difference two months has made for them.

Friday, May 29, 2015

WWE Elimination Chamber 2015 Predictions!!!

Aaaand welcome back to Enuffa.com for yet another round of WWE PPV Predictions!


The Chamber is back!  Despite most arenas now boasting electronic scoreboards that make hanging the heavy, demonic structure from the ceiling impossible, WWE found one arena in Corpus Christi that hasn't yet made such upgrades.  Thus WWE is bringing back the Elimination Chamber for this Network "Special Event."

The show was hastily thrown together over the past two weeks but I'll be goddamned if this isn't the strongest on-paper lineup thus far in WWE's 2015 calendar.  Two Chamber matches for secondary Titles, an awesome WWE Title match, and the main roster in-ring debut of the current NXT Champ, against WWE's posterboy no less.  I'm actually very excited about this show, and I hope it delivers on all fronts.

Could WWE Revive the Territory System?

Welcome to a special discussion thread here at Enuffa.com.  My friends Travis and Jim each came up with scenarios whereby WWE could revive the territory system of old, but all under the WWE brand, in a way that would diversify the product and create a robust farm system for rising talent.  Without further ado, here's what they came up with.....


Travis: Watching the NXT crowd in Florida tells me that the possibility of regional territories remains surprisingly viable, in principle. I wonder if instead of taking a singular NXT brand on the road, Triple H has considered creating, say, up to half a dozen different shows like NXT, each with its own roster and local championships, with one traveling NXT World Champion, too. They could all air weekly shows on the Network, on different days and maybe even at different times, each with a different flavor. Pick cities like Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, New York, Boston, Corpus Christi or Dallas, Montreal or Toronto, Atlanta or Charlotte, or wherever they have the most distinctive and reliable fan bases. Have them all be feeders for Raw and SmackDown, like the territories fed the WWF – but this time in a symbiotic rather than suicidal way.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Movie Review: Fury Road, or Why I Love Mad Max

What is it about the Mad Max series that has resonated with me (and many others) for the past thirty years?  Why has its central character endured as an iconic dystopian anti-hero?  Why does this series of films with such barebones storylines and almost monosyllabic characters still inspire such fascination?

I've just seen the latest installment/rebirth, Mad Max: Fury Road, starring Tom Hardy in the titular role made famous by Mel Gibson, and it's left my brain swirling with so many varied thoughts and impressions.  Fury Road is one of the most unrelenting action vehicles (no pun intended?) I've ever seen.  Much like its predecessor The Road Warrior, it has the most basic of plots and tells almost the entire story through dazzling, kinetic action sequences.  Its hero has probably less total dialogue over two hours than one Joe Pesci scene in Goodfellas, and his purpose in the film is to assist Imperator Furiosa (Charlize Theron) in liberating five young women from the despotic Immortan Joe (Hugh Keys-Byrne, who was also The Toecutter in the original Mad Max), a cult leader who has kept them imprisoned as baby factories in his mountainous fortress called The Citadel.  Once Joe discovers his "wives" are missing, he sends his army of War Boys after them, and the extended action sequences take it from there.


Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Beer Brawl: Night Shift Brewing vs. Idle Hands Craft Ales

Welcome to a special beer-related column here at Enuffa.com!  Today I'll be comparing and contrasting two local Massachusetts breweries my wife Kelly and I visited over the weekend - Night Shift Brewing and Idle Hands Craft Ales, both located in Everett, MA.  Both companies have been making beer for about three years, but have taken very different approaches. 

Visiting these two breweries back-to-back strangely brought to mind the 2006 Christopher Nolan film, The Prestige.  If you aren't familiar, The Prestige starred Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale as rival magicians in Victorian England.  Jackman's character (Robert Angier) is a consummate showman who knows how to work a crowd and present his act in the most entertaining way possible, while Bale (Alfred Borden) is more of an introvert and student of the prestidigitation game, obsessed with creating groundbreaking illusions but initially unskilled at dressing up his act to garner the best audience reaction.  Remember that comparison for later....


Thursday, May 14, 2015

WWE Payback 2015 Predictions!!!

Jeez, it's already time for another WWE PPV?  Feels like we just had one three weeks ago.  Oh wait.....  And evidently we'll have ANOTHER of these "special events" in two weeks when Elimination Chamber returns.  Both of these events are free this month on WWE Network, cuz Vinny Mac wants to hook ya!


Anyway, Payback looks like a solid if unimportant show.  As of now only six PPV matches and a preshow match have been announced.  I'd love it if they'd keep the lineup to just those six matches.  Big fan of streamlined cards without clutter.  But I'm sure they'll add The Bellas vs. Naomi & Tamina.
***For the 2015 season, Justin leads Dan 11/16 to 10/16.***

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

DeflateGate, or How The NFL Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mob (Mentality)

(Editor's Note: The following statements are the opinion of Enuffa Contributor Dan Moore and do not necessarily reflect the views of Enuffa.com or its management.............ah, who am I kiddin', he's 100% correct.)

   
FULL DISCLAIMER: I am from South Boston, Massachusetts. The Bay State. The home of revolutions and tea parties. I am an unabashed Boston sports fan. I love the Sox, Celts, B’s and of course the Pats. I’ll try to be unbiased in this piece but that’s almost impossible as we’re living in bizzaro world with this particular subject so my opinion is a tad skewed. You’ve been warned. Also, I’m gonna swear. A lot.
   
The NFL has laid down Thor’s fucking hammer on the most successful franchise of this millennium. In the last 15 years, The New England Patriots have won the AFC East 11 times, been to 9 AFC championship games, 6 Super Bowls and have won the big game 4 times, including this year. They are, without a doubt, the cream of the crop of the biggest sports entity in the world. They are also being dragged through the mud by that same sports entity.

Friday, April 24, 2015

WWE Extreme Rules 2015 Predictions!!!

Welcome to another round of official WWE PPV predictions here at Enuffa.com!

This month it's the annual followup to WrestleMania, WWE Extreme Rules, where the gimmick match is king!  Not to be confused with TLC (and Stairs), where the gimmick match is.....queen, I guess?




The WWE product was hot coming out of WrestleMania once again, with new heel Champion Seth Rollins pulling off "The heist of the century," Daniel Bryan and John Cena capturing the secondary belts, and Roman Reigns being positioned for a slow rebuild.  Things looked very promising immediately following 'Mania but as usual Creative has settled into the standard procedure of going through the motions.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

WWE vs. NJPW Supercard

Welcome to our 1st Annual WWE vs. NJPW Supercard, here at Enuffa.com!


Today I'll be discussing something we as wrestling fans haven't really had the opportunity to ponder in a long time - the interpromotional dream match.  Back in the olden days, ya know when there were two major North American wrestling companies, we could pontificate and debate who would win various fantasy matchups.  In the 80s it was matches like Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair, Ultimate Warrior vs. Sting, Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger.  In the 90s it was Steve Austin vs. Goldberg, The Rock vs. Booker T, etc.  Then the Monday Night War changed everything, as wrestling stars jumped back and forth between companies and some of the big dream matches actually came to fruition.  In 2001 Vince McMahon bought WCW and eventually signed all their top stars, and even more of these types of matches happened.  While it was a great time to see top bouts we could previously only fantasize about, an unfortunate side effect was that many major PPVs were now built around one-time dream matches that served no long-term purpose, thus hurting the drawing power of the full-time roster.  Not to mention some things are just better left to the imagination (**ahem** Sting vs. Triple H).

Friday, April 3, 2015

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: A New, Exciting Robocop for Our Time!!!


Welcome to another installment of Dumb Action Movie Reviews here at Enuffa.com, wherein I, Daniel Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, YouTube and various other websites looking for action movies removed from the mainstream that probably stink. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.



********WARNING, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS********

This week I watched the new Robocop remake from 2014, directed by José Padilha. It’s a remake of the 1987 CLASSIC of the same name and stars Joel Kinnaman in the title role, with Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jackie Earle Haley. This review will not be a bellyaching, crybaby parable about how the original flick was perfect and there was no need for a remake. Let’s be realistic, people. Hollywood is a remake and sequel factory now. We all hafta get used to the fact that movies we loved that came out years ago are going to be redone to varying degrees of success and scorn (Can’t wait for ‘Citizen Kane’ starring the Biebs). No one’s raping your childhood, no one’s doing this to ruin the movies that came before. They are doing this for money, and that is the American way. Get used to it.

With that outta the way, this new Robocop is a slickly made, forgettable, loud affair. The plot mirrors the original film - Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a cop gunned down by criminals and reanimated as Robocop, Detroit’s last hope for justice.

Kinnaman is cast perfectly as the robotic supercop. He’s a fine Swedish actor you may recognize as the best part of the increasingly frustrating and implausible program “The Killing”. And the updated Robocop suit actually looks quite cool in the original silver and blue model.

BOSS.

But there are a myriad of problems with this film. The supporting cast is fucking USELESS. There was no reason to cast brilliant, Academy Award nominated actors such as Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jackie Earle Haley. They do next to nothing in this film, and Jackson, playing some sort of television talking head with a political show, is one of the most annoying film characters mine eyes have ever seen. Just awful.

The villains in this movie are not at all memorable. I have no idea what any of their names were, and I just watched the thing! In the original, Clarence Boddiker and his gang were fucking vile, GREAT cartoonish villains. Goddamn frightening at times. And Dick Jones, the evil OCP executive was spot on. The gang of vermin in this film are all cookie cutter bad guys who aren’t even threatening. Hell, they bump off the boss of the gang with about 45 minutes left, which then forces the script to turn Michael Keaton (up to this point just a normal businessman doing by the book business things) into the main bad guy. For basically no reason at all, Batman all of a sudden wants to kill Robocop. It makes zero sense.

Another issue I had was the over-humanization of Robo. They really add a lot more family crap than is needed. There are like eight scenes of Murphy’s wife crying over him and letting him know his son needs him. WE GET IT. It completely halts the action to a standstill and isn’t really necessary.

One more thing that bugged me; when they upgrade his new suit to the more ‘tactical’ black outfit, it looks like a poor man’s version of Iron Man. He doesn’t look like a robot anymore, he looks like a dude in a suit doing superheroey things. It destroys the illusion of his cyborg body.

Black pajamas.

Finally, I do hafta compare this film to the original.  This one tries to ground itself in reality, explaining the science, the real world implications of a robotic cop, etc., and it’s just boring and pointless. Part of the charm of the original is the fantastical, futuristic world that is presented. There’s no reason to take the 1987 film seriously because it doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s a great action movie, but look closer and you realize it’s a parody of the action genre. It’s a brilliant piece of moviemaking. This new version is filled with special effects, filled with jump cuts of Robo shooting down other evil robots, filled with dull sequences dealing with his family, dealing with doctors, and being sad. It’s no fun. It’s a mishmash of special effects and fake sentiment.

I wouldn’t watch this movie again. It’s a shame to waste Kinnaman in this bland action flick. Hopefully he gets to sink his teeth into a better movie next time around because he’s a real talent.

This movie gets ONE WHIP

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

WrestleMania 31 Review, or Why Seth Rollins Is the Cat's Pajamas



Alright folks, another WrestleMania is in the past, fighting for its spot in the historical pantheon.  How did it live up to the hype?  How does WWE's landscape look in its wake?  Let's pick it apart and see where we stand.  I'll also talk about last night's RAW which, like all post-Mania episodes, was nearly as noteworthy as the PPV itself.

Now I've read some reviews of 'Mania 31 calling it one of the best WrestleManias of all-time.  Dave Meltzer in fact called it one of the best shows he's ever seen.  Personally I find that assessment waaaaaay overboard.  I mean let's be honest, this show was nowhere near as good as 'Manias 17 or 19.  Come on.  This PPV had several good matches but no great ones, some great results and some not so great, not nearly enough wrestling for a four-hour broadcast (The seven matches totaled about 100 minutes which is pretty skimpy), and the longest match was in my opinion the worst by far.




WrestleMania Thoughts

There were two preshow matches this year (I will never understand why WWE can't fit nine matches on a four-hour PPV when they routinely fit eight on a three-hour one), and one of them was quite entertaining.  The Fatal 4-Way tag match had highspots galore and lots of fun tandem offense that showcased three of the four teams (Sadly Jey Uso sat out the match with a legit shoulder injury).  Cesaro & Kidd won as expected, and I liked Cesaro's douchy heel move of letting Jimmy Uso hit his finisher on Big E, tossing Jimmy out of the ring and covering E himself.  Fun way to open the festivities.

The Battle Royal on the other hand I found rather pointless.  The only participant who gained anything from it was Damien Mizdow (and by proxy The Miz I guess), when he finally turned babyface and nearly eliminated Big Show to win the whole thing.  Otherwise though, WWE wasted several opportunities to make some underneath guys look good - The New Day all got owned by Show and looked stupid in the process, Hideo Itami from NXT was given about thirty seconds to shine before also being punked out by Show (How pissed d'ya suppose Triple H was by this?), and finally Mizdow failed to get the job done in the end.  The announcers pushed the whole "Big Show has never won a battle royal" thing, but was anyone really clamoring to finally see that happen?  This ended up being another one of those matches that didn't help anyone.

Moving along to the main card.  The Ladder Match opened the show as I figured it would, and it was a fun watch that didn't really feature anything we haven't seen before.  Once it was over it was forgotten, like a run-of-the-mill Adam Sandler movie.  Obviously I'm glad Daniel Bryan won, and I truly hope WWE gives him the opportunity to revitalize the I-C Title.  He should keep it for at least a year, maybe even break the longevity record.  As for the multi-man Ladder Match I think it's time to retire the concept, for a while at least.  There's simply nothing more to do with these matches.  Every concievable high spot with ladders has been done it would seem, and each of these matches now blurs into the rest.

Next up was one of the two high points of the night - Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins.  At the time I was flabbergasted how early this was placed, but by the end it made sense.  Orton and Rollins tore the house down as expected.  The bout was fast-paced and featured multiple intricately timed spots, including a breathtaking finish.  Unfortunately these two were only given 13 minutes so the match wasn't able to get out of 3-star territory.  Had it gone five minutes longer we'd probably be looking at a Match of the Year candidate.

Those five minutes could've easily been taken away from match #3.  Personally I found Triple H vs. Sting a pretty wretched affair.  They started out having an okay match and after ten minutes it disintegrated into a total Senior's Tour clusterfuck involving DX and the nWo attempting to brawl around ringside.  The live crowd went nuts for this, but I spent the next ten minutes groaning.  In the first place this match was never supposed to be about WWF vs. WCW.  Sting even said as much in his promo.  But ol' Vince couldn't help shoehorning that tired, fifteen-year-old concept into the proceeding.  Second, why on Earth would the nWo ever rush to Sting's aid?  They were mortal enemies in WCW (minus the idiotic Wolfpac angle), and two of the three members are Hunter's best friends!  Not to mention all three are obviously working for WWE now.  None of this lunacy made any sense, and when it was over we were once again left with the takeaway "WCW are poopyheads, WWE rules!"  This match felt like it was booked by a child.  I half-expected a reveal that Will Ferrell and the kid from The Lego Movie were behind it all.  The nostalgia trip needs to end.

The Divas match was next, and just as I predicted it only went about six minutes.

This left two full hours for the final three bouts.  When you note that the longest of those three bouts went a shade under 17 minutes, it really speaks volumes about WWE's time management on these 'Mania shows.

John Cena vs. Rusev was a solid match but felt underwhelming compared to their FastLane encounter.  Both guys brought out some new moves which was nice, but the ending of the match felt totally anticlimactic, as Cena dispatched Rusev's year-long undefeated streak with a single AA.  The announcers also sold zero astonishment at Cena's conquering of said streak.  I think JBL made one offhand comment about Cena "defeating the undefeatable."  This should've been treated as a much bigger deal.

The next segment went on.  And on.  And on.  And onnnnn......  Now look, I enjoyed the Ronda Rousey involvement.  I like her a lot and I'd be very open to seeing her in a WWE match.  But this segment didn't need to be twenty minutes long.  It felt to me like they were trying to wait out the sunlight for Taker's entrance (I guess an outdoor stadium on the west coast isn't ideal for WrestleMania if Taker's there).  And am I the only one who has ZERO interest in seeing Rock vs. Triple H for the thousandth time?  The feud between these guys peaked FIFTEEN years ago.  Fifteen.  Why in God's name would I want to see them wrestle again now?  The whole point of bringing back past stars is to face today's top guys in dream match situations.  What is the point of rehashing old rivalries a decade-plus later, when there's no chance of them topping the work they did at age thirty?  This would be the equivalent of booking Hogan vs. Piper at WrestleMania 2000.  How absurd would that have been?  Anyway, this segment had moments that were entertaining, but I don't watch a PPV to see people talk for twenty minutes.  This slot could've gone to the Tag Title match.

It's still light out, but it's time for the Taker-Wyatt match.  This was fine too, but also pretty underwhelming.  Taker looked much healthier than last year and Wyatt was solid as always.  The spiderwalk vs. situp moment was pretty cool.  But I couldn't help wondering, what's the point of it all?  How does this match help Wyatt?  His whole reason for wanting the match was to become the New Face of Fear, and he failed.  So now what?  Taker went home and Wyatt's still here.  So who benefitted from this match?  This is a question WWE needs to ask themselves much more frequently when putting together WrestleMania cards.  "Yes, this will be a big money match and yes the crowd will mark out for this, but in the end, who does it help?"  If the only perk to wrestling Taker is you'll avoid the pre-show Battle Royal, it's probably time to rethink things.  And judging by last night's RAW, it's clear the company had no plans for Wyatt past Sunday.

Side note: When was the last time Taker put someone away on the first Tombstone?  That move has basically been killed dead by Taker's incessant WrestleMania appearances.  It was a HUGE deal in 2009 when Shawn Michaels kicked out of it, but now if a guy doesn't kick out on the first one he's not worthy of even being there.  Taker's inadvertently damaged his own finishing move.

Now for the main event.  This was really something.  One of the best pure "fights" I can remember taking place in a wrestling ring.  Lesnar proved once again what a truly compelling figure he is, and Reigns earned more than a few stripes by taking one of the stiffest "pretend" beatings I've ever seen.  I liked the use of blood, which made the match immediately stand out in this PG Era.  But it was once again Seth Rollins who stole the show, literally.  I absolutely loved the mid-match cash-in.  This was the perfect way for Rollins to finally lower the boom, and Michael Cole's comment at the end summed it up perfectly: "Seth Rollins has just pulled off the heist of the century!"  For a main event match I had basically no interest in two weeks ago, this was a helluva spectacle and was executed brilliantly.

So overall did I enjoy WrestleMania 31?  Yes.  It was an entertaining show with some good matches and a few great moments, and my outlook on the product is much better now than it was a few days ago.  Was it one of the greatest shows of all time?  Not even close.  I give WM31 a B or so.  There's still way too much emphasis on nostalgia and way too much time devoted to non-wrestling (Seriously, how many elaborate entrances do we need?  Did WrestleMania X-Seven have any entrances like that?).  I think this show will really be judged by how it was followed up.  If WWE continues rehabbing the secondary belts and makes Rollins the awesome heel Champion he can be, we'll be able to call this show an unquestionable creative success.  If things return to the way they were a month ago, we'll call it an anomaly.


RAW Thoughts

Last night's RAW was pretty amazing.  The Lesnar stuff was pure awesome, both Bryan and Cena's matches were about as good as anything at 'Mania, the tag team stuff was a lot of fun (Love those Lucha Dragons!), Neville's debut was cool (Don't eff that one up), and Rollins had more great chickenshit heel moments (Man that guy's great).  The only thing last night was missing was a big show-closing moment.  The six-man main event just ended.  There needed to be a challenge issued by Orton or Reigns, or a surprise return or something.

Going forward I think Bryan and Cena should defend their respective Titles just about every week against solid challengers in good matches.  That's the kind of thing that writes itself.  They'll quickly build equity in those Titles and they can save their big defenses against hated rivals on PPV. 

Seth Rollins on the other hand should almost never wrestle on free television.  He should take the attitude of "Why would I fight in a meaningless RAW tag team match and risk getting hurt?"  Rollins should act like he thinks he's as big a star as Brock Lesnar.  "Brock only wrestles on PPV.  I'm the WWE Champion, so that's what I'm gonna do too."  If anyone asks him what makes him so damn special, he only need hold up the Title belt.  Rollins should be the biggest absolute fucking PRICK this industry has ever seen, and it should be damn near impossible for a babyface to ever get his hands on Rollins outside of a PPV match.  Every time Orton or Reigns or whoever tries to mix it up with Rollins during a non-wrestling segment, he should escape and let his henchmen take the lumps.  Every. Single. Time.  And as I said before, Rollins needs to keep that belt for at least a year.  He can lose by DQ or cheat to win every Title defense, but he shouldn't lose it until at least 'Mania 32.  And don't even think about booking him in non-Title matches.  Those should be beneath him.

Finally, what to do with Roman Reigns?  I know the plan is a Rollins-Reigns Title feud, but I really think Reigns needs an uppercard feud with a different heel first.  Reigns needs to play off someone like Rusev who is not at all a cool heel.  Reigns also needs to figure out who his character is.  Why should the fans want him to win?  Why should we be emotionally invested in his success?  I don't have that answer, but he needs to figure it out pretty fast.


That'll do it for me.  Thanks for reading!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

WWE WrestleMania 31 Predictions!!

Sigh.....well here we go with the official Enuffa.com WrestleMania 31 predictions.  As I outlined, in great detail, whether you asked for it or not, I'm about as disinterested for this show as I've ever been for a WrestleMania event.  WWE's creative team needs the most monumental of shakeups to right this iceberg-bound cruise liner, as its Chairman is defiantly out of touch with his audience.  If any of the matches themselves had on-paper potential to be instant classics I'd at least have something to sink my teeth into, but besides Orton vs. Rollins I'd be surprised if anything on the card gets out of the 2.5-3 star range.


Anyway, let's predict this shitshow.  As always my associate Dan Moore is with me.  Say, by the way, Dan owes us an amusing/embarrassing photograph as punishment for losing the 2014 predictions season to moi.  Our final tally was:

Justin - 59/87, or a 67.8% accuracy rate
Dan - 53/87, or a 60.9% accuracy rate

So without further ado, let's see what you got Dan...

Friday, March 20, 2015

Why I'm Not Excited for WrestleMania 31

As the card for WrestleMania 31 (Oh excuse me, WrestleMania *Play Button* - I forgot numbers make things sound old) comes together I'm reminded of a line from The Wizard of Oz.  Our heroes finally meet the Wizard, who grants The Scarecrow, The Tin Man and The Lion gifts to show each of them they were never respectively lacking a brain, a heart, or courage.  When it's Dorothy's turn she laments, "Oh, I don't think there's anything in that black bag for me." 

And this is how I feel about the 2015 edition of the Show of Shows.  WWE has lined up a series of matches, all of which seem geared toward the casual fan, while essentially ignoring its diehard base.  In being so single-minded about making Roman Reigns WWE's next mainstream megastar, Vince McMahon is seemingly sabotaging the credibility and importance of every babyface with whom the fans actually feel a connection.  Worse, the five matches billed as the featured attractions have been built up so poorly and with so little urgency there isn't even anything the casual fan would be very eager to see.



Here's how the big matches on the card strike me. 

Monday, March 16, 2015

Wrestling March Madness Results!

Just a quick blurb today to let you know who the 2015 March Madness Champion is.  It's this guy:



Thanks to everyone who voted!  Coming soon - the Tag Team version!

Friday, March 13, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - THE FINALS

Well sir, here we are at the Finals of the first-ever Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness tournament!

What a semi-final round it was!  Let's take a look:

The Rock defeats Steve Austin
Randy Savage defeats Shawn Michaels

And now for the main event.  As my good friend Dave would say, "THIS ONE'S FOR ALL THE CHIPS!!!!"


FINALS

The Rock vs. Randy Savage


The fate of the universe is in your hands!  (Of course I mean that in the smallest possible sense.)  Vote below!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Final Four

We're almost to the finish line.  Welcome to Enuffa.com's Wrestling March Madness, and the Final Four!

What a quarterfinal round we had! Let's take a gander...

Steve Austin defeats Hulk Hogan
The Rock defeats Bret Hart
Shawn Michaels defeats John Cena
Randy Savage defeats Brock Lesnar

Here's what's left:



The Final Four

Steve Austin (2) vs. The Rock (3)

Shawn Michaels (3) vs. Randy Savage (3)


Do with that what you will - Vote below!  And tune in Friday for the Finals!

Friday, March 6, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Elite Eight

And we're down to eight gladiators in the Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness tournament!

Let's take a look at the previous results:

Steve Austin defeats CM Punk
Hulk Hogan defeats The Undertaker
The Rock defeats Kurt Angle
Bret Hart defeats Daniel Bryan
Shawn Michaels defeats Ric Flair
John Cena defeats The Ultimate Warrior
Randy Savage defeats Randy Orton
Brock Lesnar defeats Andre the Giant

Here's the Elite Eight bracket:



Elite Eight

Steve Austin (2) vs. Hulk Hogan (1)

The Rock (3) vs. Bret Hart (1)

Shawn Michaels (3) vs. John Cena (1)

Randy Savage (3) vs. Brock Lesnar (4)


You know the score - vote in the Comments section below and check back on Wednesday for the Final Four!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Sweet Sixteen

And we're down to 16 magnificent wrestling superstars!  Welcome back to Enuffa.com's Wrestling March Madness tournament!

Before we move on, let's look at the Round 2 results from the Heyman Region:

Randy Orton defeats Booker T
Randy Savage defeats Chris Jericho
Brock Lesnar defeats Mankind
Andre the Giant defeats Triple H


Alright let's take a look at the remaining brackets.  I give you the 2015 Sweet Sixteen:


Sweet Sixteen

Steve Austin (2) vs. CM Punk (3)

Undertaker (4) vs. Hulk Hogan (1)

Kurt Angle (2) vs. The Rock (3)

Daniel Bryan (4) vs. Bret Hart (1)

Ric Flair (2) vs. Shawn Michaels (3)

Ultimate Warrior (5) vs. John Cena (1)

Randy Orton (2) vs. Randy Savage (3)

Brock Lesnar (4) vs. Andre the Giant (8)


You know what to do - vote below in the Comments section and check back on Monday for the Elite Eight!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 2: Heyman Region

Well it's that time again - closing out Round 2 of the Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness tournament!

First the results from the Crockett Region:

Ric Flair defeats Mr. Perfect
Shawn Michaels defeats Ricky Steamboat
Ultimate Warrior defeats Sting
John Cena defeats Owen Hart

Now let's take a look at the Heyman bracket:


Heyman Bracket: Round 2

Randy Orton (2) vs. Booker T (10)

Chris Jericho (6) vs. Randy Savage (3)

Brock Lesnar (4) vs. Mankind (5)

Andre the Giant (8) vs. Triple H (1)


You know the deal - vote in the Comments section below!  Check back on Thursday for the Sweet Sixteen round!

Wrestling March Madness - Round 2: Crockett Region

It's that time again folks, as Enuffa.com presents another second-round bracket in the Wrestling March Madness tournament!

The Bischoff second-round is in the books, as:

Kurt Angle defeats The British Bulldog
The Rock defeats AJ Styles
Daniel Bryan defeats Batista
Bret Hart defeats Rey Mysterio

Here's the next bracket:



Crockett Region: Round 2

Ric Flair (2) vs. Mr. Perfect (10)

Ricky Steamboat (6) vs. Shawn Michaels (3)

Ultimate Warrior (5) vs. Sting (4)

Owen Hart (9) vs. John Cena (1)


Get out there and rock the vote!  Comment below, and check back Wednesday for the final Round 2 bracket!

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 2: Bischoff Region

Welcome back to the Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness tournament!

We're still in the second round and we have the results from the McMahon Region:

Steve Austin defeats Dolph Ziggler
CM Punk defeats The Big Show
Undertaker defeats Edge
Hulk Hogan defeats Eddie Guerrero

Now let's take a look at the Bischoff bracket for Round 2:






Bischoff Region: Round 2

Kurt Angle (2) vs. British Bulldog (10)

AJ Styles (6) vs. The Rock (3)

Batista (5) vs. Daniel Bryan (4)

Rey Mysterio (9) vs. Bret Hart (1)


As usual, vote in the Comments section below!  Check back on Monday for the results!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 2: McMahon Region

Welcome back to the Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness tournament!

Before we kick off Round 2 let's take a look at the Heyman Region Round 1 results:

Randy Orton defeats Brutus Beefcake
Booker T defeats Samoa Joe
Chris Jericho defeats Roddy Piper
Randy Savage defeats Kane
Brock Lesnar defeats Rick Rude
Mankind defeats Barry Windham
Andre the Giant defeats Lex Luger
Triple H defeats Cesaro


Now, let's see that McMahon Region Round 2 bracket...



McMahon Region: Round 2

Steve Austin (2) vs. Dolph Ziggler (10)

CM Punk (3) vs. Big Show (11)

Edge (5) vs. Undertaker (4)

Eddie Guerrero (8) vs. Hulk Hogan (1)


You know what to do - vote below in the Comments section or on Facebook!  Check back Friday for the results!

Friday, February 20, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 1: Heyman Region

Welcome back to our own March Madness wrestling tournament, here at Enuffa.com!  We've reached the final bracket of the first round, so let's take a look....

First, the results from the Bischoff Region:

Ric Flair defeats Christian
Mr. Perfect defeats Kevin Nash
Ricky Steamboat defeats Jeff Hardy
Shawn Michaels defeats Bray Wyatt
Ultimate Warrior defeats Roman Reigns
Sting defeats Dean Ambrose
Owen Hart defeats Sheamus
John Cena defeats Ted Dibiase




Now for the Heyman Region bracket.


Heyman Region - Round 1

Randy Orton (2) vs. Brutus Beefcake (15)

Samoa Joe (7) vs. Booker T (10)

Chris Jericho (6) vs. Roddy Piper (11)

Randy Savage (3) vs. Kane (14)

Brock Lesnar (4) vs. Rick Rude (13)

Mankind (5) vs. Barry Windham (12)

Andre the Giant (8) vs. Lex Luger (9)

Triple H (1) vs. Cesaro (16)


I think you know what you need to do - vote in the Comments section below (or on the Facebook post).  Check back for the results and the second round brackets on Wednesday!

WWE FastLane Predictions!!

Welcome once again to Enuffa.com's official WWE PPV Predictions, where my associate Dan Moore and I break down the impending WWE PPV offering.

This year WWE opted to discontinue the beloved Elimination Chamber PPV, mostly for logistical reasons; arenas have lately been installing new scoreboard rigs over the center of the floor which makes it damn near impossible to mount the equipment necessary to suspend the 16-ton Chamber structure over the ring.  Sadly it seems the Chamber is a thing of the past.  Damn shame if you ask me.

So in its place is yet another generic PPV format with an even more generic name.  FastLane!  What the shit is that?




As with last year, the 2015 WrestleMania season has been a jumbled mess thus far.  WWE once again opted not to listen to its audience when booking the Royal Rumble, resulting in the Rumble winner being met with a vicious fan backlash, thus forcing adjustments adding Daniel Bryan to the WWE Title picture.  So now much of the intended 'Mania card is up in the air.  Unpredictability in wrestling isn't necessarily a bad thing but WWE frantically reshuffling things makes for a clumsily-executed Road to WrestleMania.  Next time the company should probably just listen to the fans and have the right guy win the Rumble, hmmmm?

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 1: Crockett Region

Welcome back to Enuffa.com's Wrestling March Madness Tournament!

Before we move on to The Crockett Region bracket, let's see the results of the Bischoff Region:

Kurt Angle defeats Rusev
British Bulldog defeats Chris Benoit
AJ Styles defeats Bobby Roode
The Rock defeats DDP
Batista defeats Yokozuna
Daniel Bryan defeats JBL
Rey Mysterio defeats Vader
Bret Hart defeats Shelton Benjamin


Now for the next bracket:



Crocket Region Round 1

Ric Flair (2) vs. Christian (15)

Kevin Nash (7) vs. Mr. Perfect (10)

Ricky Steamboat (6) vs. Jeff Hardy (11)

Shawn Michaels (3) vs. Bray Wyatt (14)

Ultimate Warrior (5) vs. Roman Reigns (12)

Sting (4) vs. Dean Ambrose (13)

Sheamus (8) vs. Owen Hart (9)

John Cena (1) vs. Ted Dibiase (16)



Once again, vote for your picks in the Comments section below, or vote in the Facebook thread in which you found this column!  Check back in a few days for the next round!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 1: Bischoff Region

Welcome back gang!  It's time for the next bracket in the first round of the Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness Tournament!

Thanks to all who voted in the first round (incidentally there were reports of issues with the Comments section, so I installed the Disqus comments app which should make it easier).  Alternatively you can vote on the Enuffa Facebook page, or on the page where you originally saw the link to the article.


McMahon Region Results

Steve Austin defeats Sid Vicious
Dolph Ziggler defeats Dusty Rhodes
CM Punk defeats Tito Santana
Big Show defeats Goldberg
Edge defeats Rob Van Dam
Undertaker defeats Scott Hall
Eddie Guerrero defeats Seth Rollins
Hulk Hogan defeats X-Pac

Now for the Bischoff Region:


Bischoff Region: Round 1
Kurt Angle (2) vs. Rusev (15)
Chris Benoit (7) vs. British Bulldog (10)
AJ Styles (6) vs. Bobby Roode (11)
The Rock (3) vs. Diamond Dallas Page (14)
Batista (5) vs. Yokozuna (12)
Daniel Bryan (4) vs. JBL (13)
Vader (8) vs. Rey Mysterio (9)
Bret Hart (1) vs. Shelton Benjamin (16)


You know what to do - vote in the Comments section below or on Facebook!  Check back on Wednesday for the next round!

Friday, February 13, 2015

Wrestling March Madness - Round 1 - McMahon Region

Alright everyone, welcome to the 1st Annual Enuffa.com Wrestling March Madness.  Yeah, yeah, I know it's not March yet, but since most of March will be occupied with WrestleMania-related columns I thought I'd kick this off early.  It's winter, it's snowing like fucking crazy in New England, and we all need a distraction.  So let's get to it.

I took 64 wrestlers (ahem, sports-entertainers) from various eras and seeded them appropriately (That sounds filthy), and then created brackets based on that.  See the full roster below:



There are four regional brackets: the McMahon Region, the Bischoff Region, the Crockett Region, and the Heyman Region.

Here's a graphic of the McMahon Region bracket:



And here's where you come in - vote below in the comments section, or on Facebook if you prefer (Like us at www.facebook.com/enuffa).  I'll tally up the votes and announce the winners in the next column - keep your eyes peeled for the next round here at Enuffa.com!


Round 1 - McMahon Region

Steve Austin (2) vs. Sid Vicious (15)

Dusty Rhodes (7) vs. Dolph Ziggler (10)

CM Punk (3) vs. Tito Santana (14)

Goldberg (6) vs. Big Show (11)

Edge (5) vs. Rob Van Dam (12)

Undertaker (4) vs. Scott Hall (13)

Eddie Guerrero (8) vs. Seth Rollins (9)

Hulk Hogan (1) vs. X-Pac (16)



Get votin' and look for the results on Monday 2/16!

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: Stretch

Welcome to another installment of Dumb Action Movie Reviews, here at Enuffa.com, wherein I, Daniel Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, You tube and various other websites looking for action movies removed from the mainstream that probably stink. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.



Stretch is a 2014 action comedy written & directed by Joe Carnahan, the same dude that did Narc & The A-Team.  The film stars Patrick Wilson, Chris Pine, Ed Helms, Jessica Alba, with Ray Liotta & David Hasselhoff as themselves.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: Sabotage

Welcome to a new Enuffa.com feature - Dumb Action Movie Reviews, wherein I, Daniel Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, You tube and various other websites looking for action movies removed from the mainstream that probably stink. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.



Sabotage is a 2014 American crime action film, directed by David Ayer, written by Skip Woods and Ayer and starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Ayer wrote the academy award winning Training Day, so I had some hope for this flick. Woods wrote the non academy award winning Swordfish, so my hope was dashed a bit. But Arnold is fucking Arnold so eat a dick if you don't like him.

(Editor's note: What if we do like Arnold, can we still eat a dick?)

Even taking an old man selfie he's still awesome.

The movie is about a team of DEA agents led by Arnold who go a tad corrupt by ripping off a drug cartel. They then spend the rest of the movie swearing and getting bloody trying to figure out who then ripped them off from their ripped off drug money. Get it? Arnold's got some family tragedy in this and he plays it well as the downtrodden husband.  I love how we're at the point with Arnold that there's no explanation at all for his accent. It's just accepted that this Austrian sounding dude is here and in charge.

Monday, January 26, 2015

Royal Rumble Thoughts, or Why Roman Reigns is "Bootista" 2015

In the wake of last night's debacle known as the Royal Rumble, which was ruined for the second consecutive year by Vince and company's defiantly oblivious booking, I'm reminded of another CM Punk quote: "Ya can't tell me you didn't do that on purpose.  Either tell me right now that you're dumb as fuck, and you suck, or that you did that on purpose." 



I just don't get it.  I don't understand how an entertainment entity can have such unabashed contempt for its own audience.  This was worse than last year's Rumble, and here's why: at least in 2014 an argument could be made that WWE didn't realize how badly Batista's comeback and Rumble win would be received.  I mean, those of us with the capacity for logical thought knew Batista's return wasn't going to galvanize the fanbase like Vince hoped, and that 2014 was clearly Daniel Bryan's time.  But WWE has a history of making shortsighted business decisions. 

Friday, January 23, 2015

WWE Royal Rumble Predictions, or Why Roman Reigns is This Era's "All American" Lex Luger

Welcome to another edition of official Enuffa.com WWE PPV Predictions!  This month my buddy Dan Moore and I will pick apart the January tradition, The 2015 Royal Rumble!



This year's Rumble is essentially a two-match card with a pretty rotten undercard lineup featuring multiple pointless tag matches.  However the two big bouts are quite intriguing and there are a number of scenarios we could see play out.  It's honestly been quite a while since a Rumble winner and 'Mania main event haven't been super obvious.

Justin leads Dan 50/74 to 47/74.



PreShow Elimination Match: The New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Adam Rose


Sigh.....so this is what an A talent like Cesaro has been relegated to?  A preshow six-man teaming with jobbers Kidd and Rose?  I guess, like Vince said, Cesaro is "just not connecting."  I mean just go back and watch his Battle Royal win at last year's WrestleMania and listen to how apathetic that crowd was, or how much the fans DON'T respond when he does the Giant Swing.  You're a mental case, Vince.  When he was being pushed, Cesaro connected with the crowd a helluva lot more than your golden boy Roman Reigns does these days.  More on that later.