WWE Survivor Series 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to, Jeezus, ANOTHER round of Enuffa.com PPV Predictions, with your host, me, and my cohort Dan Moore, as we try to predict what will happen on WWE's latest illogically booked offering, Survivor Series!

Actually, truth be told, I'm pretty excited about this PPV.  Why you ask?  Because it reminds me of this one:

That's right, after DECADES of waiting, and I hate waiting, WWE is finally getting back to their roots with this show, presenting three big elimination matches.  One for the men, one for the women, and holy shit on a serving spoon, ONE FOR THE TAG TEAMS!  It's been 28 years since we got the 5 Teams vs. 5 Teams match, and at long last we're being treated to another one!  I don't even care that today's tag division can't hold a tealight to that of yesteryear, or that all three of these elimination matches are part of the contrived, tired RAW vs. Smackdown rivalry that literally zero fans care about.  I'm just excited to be seeing a real Survivor Series card again.  And it'll be four hours this year (Fuck, that's gettin' to be a lot), so none of them should get shortchanged.  Bring it on.

As for the rest of the show, we have two promising singles matches and one that's gonna suck, which is sadly the main event of the evening.  But we'll get to that.

Prediction time.

***I currently lead 52/82 to Dan's 50/82.***

Cruiserweight Championship: Brian Kendrick vs. Kalisto

Well someone came to their senses and realized Kalisto is a cruiserweight, and now he's all over Smackdown.  Unlike TJ Perkins (who's a solid hand but devoid of a character), Kalisto actually connects with the audience, so there's a chance they'll be invested in this match.  Also if Kalisto wins the belt the entire division gets moved to Smackdown (Makes sense since the new 205 Live show will be airing directly after the blue brand on Tuesdays).  I know Kendrick just won the belt, but there's no reason whatsoever to add this stipulation unless you're actually gonna go through with it.  The RAW creative team has no idea what to do with these guys and the division's been dying a slow death since the CW Classic ended.  Just move the lot of 'em over to Smackdown and make 205 Live a Smackdown property.

Justin's pick: Kalisto
Dan's pick: You almost need Kalisto to win here so it moves to the blue brand.

Intercontinental Championship: The Miz vs. Sami Zayn

I have mixed feelings about this last-minute change.  Ziggler vs. Zayn would've probably stolen the show and I'm not sure why they took the belt off Dolph already, aside from this match now being heel vs. babyface.  Regardless, Miz is good enough to have a helluva match with Zayn, and Zayn is good enough that he'd be hard-pressed NOT to have a good match.  Miz really never should've lost the belt, so I can't complain that he's got it again.  So where does that leave Ziggler?  Do they add him to this and make it a 3-way?  I'd be fine with that.  Do they pit Ziggler vs. Rusev since neither of them is booked?  Do they add him to the elimination match so Shane doesn't have to be in it?  For fuck's sake, Shane!  More on that later.  Anywho, if Sami wins, the I-C belt goes to RAW.  I can't see that happening.  Miz keeps it.

Justin's pick: Miz retains
Dan's pick: Wait, what? Had no clue Miz even won the belt back. I LOVE IT. Miz retains.

You Used to Be Sooooo Good: Metallica (A Heated Debate)

Welcome back to another edition of You Used to Be Soooo Good, where Justin & I, Dan Moore, discuss things used to be awesome but now, eh, not so much. This week we discuss master musicians who I believe were once at the top of the music world, but have lost a few chords on their gee-tars whilst JB thinks they’re still chugging along at light speed.

METALLICA: You Used to Be Soooo Good

Now that's METAL right there.

DAN: Ah, Metallica. Once the go to band for all things awesome & metal. If you needed your ass blasted off with music so loud the angels themselves head banged to it, they were the fellas you listened to. Their music defined metal. Christ even their name is f*cking awesome. METALLICA. Say it again. Congratulations, your tongue just got rocked. They took a genre of music, metal, named themselves after it, and then reorganized the pecking order of metal bands. It went

1.      Metallica
2.      No one else comes close

Going to their concerts in the 80s and 90s was akin to allowing a jet to take off in your eardrums. Those were the loudest concerts I’ve ever been to in my life, and I’ve seen the Barenaked Ladies (it was because a girl I hadn’t slept with yet bought tickets, but that’s still not an acceptable excuse). They were the best.

And then…they weren’t. They cut their hair and lost their powers, like metal Samsons. Now I’m not saying the haircuts all of a sudden made them not be able to rock as hard anymore, but that’s definitely the cutoff (pun humor!) point. To begin their careers, they released possibly the five greatest metal albums ever and then…a lotta crap that is completely forgettable. No songs on those albums released after The Black Album resonate with me at all. I would be hard pressed to name any, in fact. To go from perfect metal monsters to whatever they are now is such a disappoint to me as a fan of metal.

Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums of All Time, Picked Apart (251-300)

by Michael Drinan
@mdrinan380

We carry on with our bashing of Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time by tackling entries 251-300. You can catch up with Part 5 HERE.


251. Otis Redding - The Otis Redding Dictionary of Soul
252. Metallica - Metallica
253. Kraftwerk - Trans-Europe Express
254. Whitney Houston - Whitney Houston
255. The Kinks - The Kinks Are The Village Green Preservation Society
256. Janet Jackson - The Velvet Rope
257. Willie Nelson - Stardust
258. Grateful Dead - American Beauty
259. Crosby, Stills & Nash - Crosby, Stills & Nash
260. Buena Vista Social Club - Buena Vista Social Club


This section kicks off with Otis Redding’s last studio album before his death. Great album. Nice to see it here.

Whitney Houston’s eponymous debut is the first of her albums to appear on this list, which is surprising because I thought I’d see the soundtrack to The Bodyguard before anything, but whatever.

Janet Jackson’s The Velvet Rope is a surprise here for me. It’s a highly influential album and a departure on her sound and style but I still think her album janet. is a better album. I wish it were ranked here instead of The Velvet Rope, or higher.


261. Tracy Chapman - Tracy Chapman
262. Grateful Dead - Workingman’s Dead
263. Ray Charles - The Genius of Ray Charles
264. Blood, Sweat & Tears - Child is Father To the Man
265. Creedence Clearwater Revival - Cosmo’s Factory
266. The Who - Quadrophenia
267. Paul Simon - There Goes Rhymin’ Simon
268. Jesus & Mary Chain - Psycho Candy
269. Rolling Stones - Some Girls
270. Beach Boys - The Beach Boys Today!

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 9

by Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal), Mike Parker (@UncleMiggsy) & Brandon Cuddemi

Dan's Pick

With the premier franchise in sports, the New England Patriots, on the bye, the slate of NFL games this week is ugly. I’m talking UG. I’m taking fuckin’ LEE. I checked the schedule of games on the interwebs this morning and this is what came up.

So we’re picking garbage games, which is fitting, because I’m dealing with two garbage individuals. Brandon’s been all fancy lately, hanging out with some real dandies up in Maine. 100% sure his asshole sounds like it sneezes when he takes a shit. And Miggsy is just a puddle of puke nowadays. The other day watching a game, I thought he was making his own political protest by not standing for the anthem but it turns out that fat shit just couldn’t get up off his couch. The ass groove he’s created in that thing is bigger than the San Andreas fault.  Just a disgusting human being all around.

NJPW Power Struggle 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of Enuffa.com PPV Predictions!  

This Saturday is NJPW's Power Struggle PPV, where things more or less take their final shape for the build to WrestleKingdom!  This year's card looks quite solid and makes use of a handful of guest stars from ROH, NOAH and CMLL.  As usual with Power Struggle there likely won't be any Earth-shattering developments, but it'll just be a good night of wrestling.

So let's get to the predictions....

Ryusuke Taguchi, Angel de Oro, Titan & Fuego vs. Jushin Thunder Liger, Tiger Mask, Ricochet & David Finlay

This should be fast and furious, with the lucha style well-represented in some of the losing Super Jr. Tag teams.  It's little more than a showcase match but should get the crowd engaged early.  I find Liger's team generally wins matches like these so that's who I'll pick.

Justin's pick: Team Liger
Landon's pick: Team Liger

Chase Owens, Yujiro Takahashi & Bone Soldier vs. Togi Makabe, Tomake Honma & Yoshitatsu

I still find it so odd they turned Captain New Japan heel.  It's like WCW having Michael Wallstreet join the nWo.  He's an inconsequential character.  Anyway, since the Bullet Club C-team just got a new member I'll go with them to win.

Justin's pick: Bullet Club
Landon's pick: Bullet Club

Let’s Give 'Em Somethin' to Taco Bout: Taco Bell's Rolled Chicken Taco

by Sok Maher

It’s noon on Wednesday. Meetings are over. Work is done-ish. There’s an adage about “idle hands” that I don’t remember, but I’m sure it applies here. Boredom and overeating have always been the Batman and Robin of my sustenance.

Which leads us to today’s subject, the Taco Bell Rolled Chicken Taco. You might know them by their American name “taquitos”. Thankfully for those who don’t “hablo ingles," they gave it the more traditional Mexican name of “Rolled Chicken Tacos”. I was first introduced to the taquito in college. Sam’s Club was kind enough to keep industrial sized bags of them frozen for us, and we, in turn, were kind enough to devour all of the taquitos from the hours of 1am – 4am later that night. Have my tastes matured? Have any of my body parts matured? Let’s go to the tale of the tape…

WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Review: Sasha and Charlotte Make History

History was made at Hell in a Cell, as the RAW Women's Division got to headline a main roster PPV for the first time, one year after breaking that barrier in NXT.  Not only that, but it took place in the first-ever Women's Hell in a Cell match that also included (to my knowledge) the first-ever Women's table spot.  A glass ceiling was shattered in Boston, MA, and while the overall results were mixed, it was certain an historic occasion.

The show opened with one of three Cell bouts (If you're going to include three of the same gimmick match on a PPV it certainly makes sense to spread them out), pitting US Champion Roman Reigns against hated rival Rusev.  This match sadly didn't do much for me, as I didn't get a sense of brutality or hatred which, given the nature of this feud, should've been front-and-center.  This match was needlessly stretched to 24 minutes when 15 would've sufficed, and I would've preferred a strong style-esque match where they simply pounded the bejeezus out of each other while the Cell itself took a back seat.  The closing stretch contained solid work however, so it wasn't a total loss for me.  I am getting tired of the overused booking template where one guy hits the other with his finisher, fails to win, and the other guy hits one comeback move followed by his own finisher for the duke.  This wasn't the only match on this show to end that way.  Reigns retained as expected and I'm sure we'll find out soon enough who his next challenger is.

Bayley got a much-needed decisive win in the second match against Dana Brooke.  This was fine for what it was - Dana has a great character and owns it well but still needs to improve in-ring.  I assume Bayley will be stepping up soon to challenge for the belt.

Enzo & Cass had an entertainingly brief tag match against The Club after cutting a pretty fun promo, now referring to Anderson & Gallows as "Andy & Big Gal."  Not sure why I found that funny but I did.  This match was also just fine.  The Club finally got a win on PPV, using the aforementioned one-move comeback booking.  Once someone points out this formula it's hard to get past it.

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 8

by Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal), Mike Parker (@UncleMiggsy) & Brandon Cuddemi

Dan's Pick

Lotta happenings and goings on here at work so this week's picks look to be short and terrible as opposed to long and terrible. Get the insults outta the way first: Brandon’s slow and dimwitted and I’m shocked he’s ever had sex with a woman without paying, and Miggsy’s got a gross, large bald head and breath that could floor a skunk. Also, our picks stink (though I pulled off a win last week YEAH).

The only possible reaction while reading this column

DETROIT (+2 ½ ) @HOUSTON THE PICK: DETROIT 
The BrockStar is now dead to me. Long live TEAM FATFACE! Not only does Stafford have a big ol’ chunky kisser and a rocket for an arm, but he has an uncanny resemblance to that now-bloated kid from the Sixth Sense.

I see fat-faced people

WWE Hell in a Cell 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to your official Enuffa.com PPV Predictions for this Sunday's Hell in a Cell!

Well the RAW weekly shows have largely been stinkers, but the brand has a pretty damn solid lineup for this PPV, including three Hell in a Cell matches (which is undoubtedly too many).  But what's noteworthy about this show is the inclusion of the first-ever Women's HIAC match, and for me that's the big draw.  I'm hoping WWE puts that one on last since neither of the other Cell bouts is likely to top it, and it involves by far the best of the three feuds.  But anyway, let's get to the predictions.

***I lead Dan 46/74 to 45/74, thanks to an abysmal 2-for-6 showing at No Mercy***

PreShow: Cedric Alexander, Lince Dorado & Sin Cara vs. Tony Nese, Drew Gulak & Ariya Daivari

This is just a way to get more cruiserweights on the show.  We haven't been given much of a reason to care about any of them beyond the Cruiserweight Classic tournament unfortunately.  Here's an idea, add Neville to the division instead of jobbing him out to Bo Dallas.  Dopes.  This'll be a fun match but nothing terribly memorable.

Justin's pick: Alexander, Dorado & Cara
Dan's pick: No clue who any of them are, so the other guys

Enzo & Cass vs. The Club

Not a ton of interest in this feud if I'm being honest.  Anderson & Gallows still feel very flat as heels and I'm not sure what's missing, other than the fact that they were separated prematurely from their leader AJ Styles.  Maybe they should be moved to Smackdown.  Enzo & Cass are still doing their schtick and the crowd still likes it.  The match should be fine, I'm just not invested.

Justin's pick: Enzo & Cass
Dan's pick: Enzo & Cass

Music Review: Lady Gaga - Joanne

Lady Gaga's fifth studio album Joanne dropped on Friday, and I'm pleased to say I'm already a big fan of it.  Shedding much of the pop star accountrements and focusing on the music itself has resulted in a streamlined, mature, timeless-sounding release from the eccentric songstress.  Gone are the slickly produced dance floor anthems and "Ain't I weird?" lyrics, and in their place are pop-rock songs with dashes of country, soul, folk, latin, and plenty of 1970s influence.

I've been a Gaga fan since about 2010, when her bizarro dance-pop radio hits began to grow on me like a fungus, and by the time her 80s-heavy, second full-length record Born This Way was released I was all-in.  Even more impressive to me was the decadently over-indulgent Artpop, seemingly an ode to Gaga's own iconic status.  Sadly that album underperformed in sales (a measly 2.5 million copies worldwide), and it seems likely her audience had by 2013 tired of Gaga's over-the-top theatrics.  I actually consider Artpop her best album, but a change in direction was the right move; Artpop had taken the concept of The Hugeness of Lady Gaga as far as it could go.

With Joanne we have a much scaled-down presentation which has thus far carried over to her public appearances.  Her on-stage attire is still flashy but in a much more subdued, minimalist way, and the focus now is entirely on the songs.  And Joanne boasts some damn good ones, aided by several talented collaborators.

From the midtempo opener "Diamond Heart," with its live drum and guitar sounds, the stage is set for something really different.  Gaga's considerable vocal talent is allowed to shine through from the get-go, largely free of the usual radio pop effects.  The song's syncopated chorus is instantly memorable in a completely fresh way, and I was drawn in immediately.

Probably the most traditionally hooky song on the album is the raunchy "A-Yo," boasting an energetic backbeat and a Shania Twain-ish swagger.  Guitarist/producer Mark Ronson lends his quirky guitar licks here and on several other songs, and the result is a delightful pop/rockabilly hybrid.

The biggest stylistic departure is the title track, a touchingly simple, finger-picked guitar-folk ballad written for Gaga's recently deceased aunt.  This song reminds me of mid-90s alt-folk like Sheryl Crow and Joan Osborne, with a touch of acoustic Dylan.

The first single "Perfect Illusion" has grown on me with repeated listens and harkens back to 70s Donna Summer, with its highlighting of attitude over saccharine melodic hooks.  The climactic final chorus showcases Gaga's vocal power.

DAN'S TOP 9: EX-RED SOX IN THE WORLD SERIES

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

DAN'S TOP

This year’s world Series pits the Chicago Cubs against the Cleveland Indians. Both of these franchises haven’t won a championship in a looooooooong time, with Cleveland’s last pennant in 1948 and the Cubs' way back in 1908, when I was only 11 years old. So both of these teams are in quite a drought. But more importantly than any of that, both of these teams are filled with ex-Red Sox greats. Here now, my list of the very best of em.

9. Anthony Rizzo, 1B, CUBS (Drafted by Sox in ‘07)

This one’s a bit of a cheat, as he never actually suited up for the big club, but GODDAMMIT how I hated to see him go. He was one of the keys in the trade for Adrian Gonzalez. I remember reading about his patience at the plate and big bat, and hated to see his name in that trade. He’s blossomed in Chicago, and it kills me. Plus, a GREAT last name.

8. Coco Crisp, OF, INDIANS (Sox ‘06-‘08)

Another Hall of Famer in great names, Coco had a completely unmemorable run with the Sox. The epitome of good glove, no bat when he was here. He won a ring in ’07 on the team that beat the Rockies in the WS. He’s obviously a good player, as he’s still in the league almost a decade after leaving Boston, but he has no real great moments in Fenway (though he did almost get run over by the mascot in Seattle, which was HILARIOUS).

"Don't stand on the tracks when the ATV's coming through" - Mariner Moose

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 7

Dan's Pick

The Brock-Star saved me a bit last week. Texans were getting whalloped and he came outta nowhere to save the Texans' season. Now they won, but that only left me with a measly push. A PUSH? Who am I, Molly Brown?

Anyways, I’m sure those two dolts will go on and on with the same tired jokes about how I’m old and senile. But let’s get real here. Have you seen these two? Here’s Brandon with an actual text message he sent 'cause he can’t figure out his newfangled iPhone.

I'M AN OLD MAN, I'M CONFUSED!

The guy’s getting all discombobulated by technology and bingo in consecutive weeks. It may be time to send him off to the old nursing home in the sky.

And the less said about Miggsy, the better. Have you seen his television debut in the Ice-T Geico commercial?

Lookin' good, buddy.

Rolling Stone's Top 500 Albums of All Time, Picked Apart (201-250)

by Michael Drinan
@mdrinan380

We carry on with our bashing of Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time by tackling entries 201-250. You can catch up with Part 4 HERE.

201. Simon & Garfunkel - Parsley, Sage, Rosemary & Thyme
202. Michael Jackson - Bad
203. Cream - Wheels of Fire
204. Prince - Dirty Mind
205. Santana - Abraxas
206. Cat Stevens - Tea For the Tillerman
207. Pearl Jam - Ten
208. Neil Young with Crazy Horse - Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere
209. Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
210. Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain

I love Michael Jackson’s Bad. It’s my favorite album of his and I would argue it’s better than Thriller. Thriller is overrated because of the hype it had when it was released and because of the video.

Yeah, I said it.

With Cream, Wheels Of Fire should’ve replaced Fresh Cream at #101. Switching those two would make me comfortable with the placement. It’s a better album than Fresh Cream.

Pearl Jam’s Ten I think should be higher. It’s a pretty notable album for what it helped create. Should be in the low 100’s somewhere. Maybe switch Fresh Cream at #101 with Ten. Yes, there’s the answer and we all win!

211. Rolling Stones - Tattoo You
212. Ike & Tina Turner - Proud Mary: The Best of Ike & Tina Turner
213. New York Dolls - New York Dolls
214. Bo Diddley - Bo Diddley/Go Bo Diddley
215. Bobby Bland - Two Steps From the Blues
216. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
217. Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill
218. The Meters - Look-Ka Py Py
219. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
220. Professor Longhair - New Orleans Piano

I’m wincing a little bit with The Stones’ Tattoo You being listed while at the same time not totally hating its inclusion. I kind of feel there are far better albums than this one but at the same time I get why it’s listed. I’ll live.

Love New York Dolls. Very underrated punk band in terms of influence. Even though they were right there with The Stooges and Velvet Underground, they were never given enough attention and credit. They wore women’s clothes before Twisted Sister and all the hair metal bands of the ‘80s. I always enjoy seeing them listed.

Movie Review: Sully (2016)

by Varun Bhatia
@movieman994

Director: Clint Eastwood
Cast: Tom Hanks, Aaron Eckhart, Laura Linney.
Rating: 3.75/5

Sully is based on the true story of US pilot Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger, who saved the lives of everyone aboard Flight 1549 after multiple bird strikes had failed all the engines.

The brilliance of Sully lies within its nonlinear plot. If this plot had been linear, I doubt the movie would have been bearable. Eastwood has a brilliant eye for direction, as he stretches a story that would hardly make a 45-minute movie into a 96-minute movie, without boring you for a single second. The storytelling was absolutely spotless.

The film takes a realistic approach to the events that follow after the miracle landing of Sully - the effects the incident had on the pilot, co-pilot and the government case that ensued.

The short runtime is what sets it apart from other movies based on true stories. I appreciated the lack of pretend drama and the fact that the movie hardly follows any mainstream movie cliches.

Acting is another plus for this movie; Hanks plays up the cool, yet disturbed Sully fabulously. You can see the amount of research he has put into his role. Aaron Eckhart has improved by miles compared to his previous work; this might be his best performance for me at least. No one else has a role even remotely as big, but I would like to acknowledge Anna Gunn for her portrayal of a NTSB agent.

The slow piano score that picks up in places fits the movie brilliantly, it truly encases all emotions, especially PTSD. Although no other instrument would have done justice to the tone of the movie, the score is rather forgettable.

The editing is sharp and to the point, which is what prevents the movie from getting boring in places where most movie of this type fail.

There isn't much to be said about the cinematography or costuming; considering the setting of the movie they are neither great nor terrible.

The low point however is the lack of threat or high-stakes, which makes the movie a little bland. There is a missing sense of danger, which if incorporated would have added to the movie's list of pluses.

Also the ending was quite sudden, which although it avoids cliches, makes you wish they showed a bit more.

All-in-all, Eastwood has made another good, indeed very good, movie.  Even though it might not be on par with American Sniper, do not miss it as it makes for a great watch.


Nomination Chances:

There is a low-medium chance for Hanks to be nominated for best actor.  A medium chance for the editor to be nominated.  A low chance for best adapted screenplay.


Rating Key:

0.5-1.5: Why was this movie even made?

1.75-2.5: A few good scenes, nothing memorable, disappointed me.

2.75-3.25: The movie did exactly what was expected of it, didn't add anything, but at least  it didn't fail.

3.5-4.25: The movie exceeded expectations and will help you look intellectual at discussions with friends.

4.5-5 Instant classic. This movie should be Oscar Nominated at the least.

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 6

by Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal), Mike Parker (@UncleMiggsy) and Brandon Cuddemi

Welcome to another edition of our terrible picks. I won last week. Miggsy won last week. Brandon lost so he can blow it out his ass. Loser. But the real losers in this are you, the bettors. Because hopefully you’re ignoring these picks and betting on something better, like cockfighting.

That bird's a ringer

And not only do we stink at sports betting, but any casino gambling seems to be an issue too. At Foxwoods last week, Brandon lost so much he tried to get a marker for his little hip hop car there, but they laughed him off and told him to keep making pretend with his friend Drake. The less said about Miggsy’s day, the better.

"I'm ruined...."

WWE Monday Night RAW: Oldberg Gets Invited to Suplex City

Goldberg.  Really?  Really?  REALLY???

When all you've got is your size and you don't even have that anymore....

I'd heard rumors of this development for weeks but last night on RAW it became official.  WWE is booking Brock Lesnar vs. Bill Goldberg for Survivor Series.  In an apparent continuing effort to further ruin what used to be one of my favorite annual PPV events, Vince McMahon has decided that the best way to utilize a monster box office draw like Brock Lesnar is to once again pair him against a guy with whom he stunk up the ring over a decade ago.  To be fair, Lesnar's recent matches against John Cena and The Undertaker were obviously massive improvements over their 2003 counterparts.  But John Cena is a completely different performer than he was back then, and Taker is, well Taker.

Bill Goldberg hasn't wrestled since he and Brock took a giant New York dump in the middle of Madison Square Garden, and let's be honest, he wasn't exactly a ring general before that.  Goldberg got as far as he did based primarily on mystique and physical presence, and in 2016 that isn't enough to be a success in wrestling.  So why in the name of all things holy, THE FUCK, would anyone in WWE think a rematch from WrestleMania XX is a good idea, over twelve years later?  Goldberg is 49 years old and literally 18 years removed from his peak.  Last time we saw him his performance (and Brock's) was so bad both guys got booed out of the building.  So yeah, let's get him back in here.  While you're at it, sign Buff Bagwell.  I know his last match in the WWF was so abysmal it sank the WCW relaunch, but he must've improved since then, right?

This pic was taken 3 minutes into the match and this is all they'd done so far.

I will never for the life of me understand Vince's obsession with reliving the Ruthless Aggression Era when it comes to Brock.  He's been trying to book a Brock vs. Rock rematch since 2012 when Lesnar returned, meanwhile half a dozen first-time matches against current stars (for whom a match with Brock would be a huge career boost) have been left on the table.  Had they not booked Sheamus and Cesaro into the ground, both of them would be excellent opponents for Brock (Oh wait, we got Brock vs. Sheamus at a house show earlier this year, and Cesaro is Swiss).  They could've booked Brock vs. Batista a couple years ago but let that one slip away.  Also Kevin Owens, AJ Styles, Shinsuke Nakamura, and best of all Samoa Joe would all have instant classics against Brock.  Christ, even Bray Wyatt or a return match with Roman Reigns would be better.  Nope, we gotta redo Brock vs. Goldberg.  Because apparently 2002-2004 was WWE's Golden Age.

And from what I've read Brock's future is going to get even bleaker, as Vince evidently wants Brock vs. Shane at WrestleMania.  Shane McMahon.  Ya know, the 46-year-old businessman whom The Undertaker actually had to treat as an in-ring peer six months back?  Taker was reportedly so unenthusiastic about that match he hasn't been back since.  If Brock vs. Shane goes more than thirty seconds, congratulations, you've just destroyed Brock Lesnar's credibility as a monster.

No wonder the full-time roster can't carry ratings.  Every time Brock Lesnar comes back they either have him steamroll the guy (Orton, Ambrose) or fight someone he already beat when I was in my 20s.  And I guarantee Lesnar vs. Goldberg gets the main event slot at Survivor Series, despite literally nothing being at stake.  Zero.  For a promoter who supposedly cares about telling stories, Vince sure doesn't seem too concerned about that aspect when Brock's involved.  We now have two primary championships in WWE, but as with SummerSlam they'll both get pushed to the undercard to make room for a pointless one-off match designed to pop a quick buyrate (which doesn't exist anymore thanks to the Network).  Once again a big marquee match with no overarching story gets top billing over all the ongoing angles and full-time members of the roster, and the night after Survivor Series neither guy will be on RAW and the rest of the roster will have to pick up the slack.  Super.

It's getting to the point that I dread the Big Four PPVs, because WWE always feels the need to load them up with "big" matches instead of good ones.  I'm a Brock Lesnar fan, but I'm getting bored with the Suplex City schtick, and especially tired of seeing him fight guys he already faced during his first WWE stint.  Can't we all just move along?

WWE No Mercy 2016 Review

The second Smackdown PPV of the new brand split era is behind us, and as with Backlash the Little Blue Brand That Could delivered a succinctly satisfying show.  The roster may be thin and the undercard bouts were little more than filler, but the top of the card at No Mercy delivered a pair of excellent showings.

Due to the Presidential debate, WWE opted to move the WWE Title main event to the top of the show.  An odd move considering this wasn't a weekly show subject to ratings like RAW or Smackdown; with a PPV you can start watching late or pick it up in the middle and then go back and see what you missed.  But whatever, this main event was absolutely tremendous regardless of its slot on the card.  AJ Styles, John Cena and Dean Ambrose strung together a non-stop thrill ride that flowed smoothly and made innovative use of the Triple Threat format.  We still got the usual stretches where one guy was out of the ring selling while the other two continued fighting, but those were kept short and logical.  My only gripe about this match was the false ending where Cena and Ambrose simultaneously had AJ in a submission hold and he tapped out.  Since the referee couldn't declare one winner the submission was thrown out and the match restarted.  Logically shouldn't the title be held up at that point, pending a Cena-Ambrose singles match?  That said, this wasn't the worst way WWE has handled such a situation; in late 2004 Triple H defended the World Title against Chris Benoit and Edge on an episode of RAW, and the same thing happened.  Hunter tapped out while both opponents had him in a submission hold.  The Title was held up, but rather than a one-on-one Edge-Benoit match to settle the situation, they just threw six guys into an Elimination Chamber and Hunter regained the belt.  'The hell sense does that make??  Anyway, after the restart, AJ resorted to a chair shot on Cena to get the win and retain.  I read some complaints about this finish, but I have no problem with it.  In the first place, it's a no-DQ match type so why wouldn't you use a chair?  Second, AJ is a heel and he almost just lost the belt.  Makes perfect sense for him to employ underhanded tactics to keep his Title.  Great match (easily ****1/4) and it's a shame it couldn't close the show.

Next up was Nikki Bella vs. Carmella.  This was exactly what I expected and no more.  One of the filler bouts on the show.

Third was Heath Slater & Rhyno vs. The Usos for the tag straps.  I liked this better than their Backlash match.  The energy was there, the crowd was into it, The Usos changed up their look and used a more aggressive style.  This was just fine.  Slater & Rhyno retained, and if Jimmy & Jay are moving on to a feud with American Alpha I'm not sure who's next to challenge for the belts.

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 5

by Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal), Mike Parker (@UncleMiggsy) & Brandon Cuddemi

Dan's Pick

Up 13 with 4 minutes left, you’re counting the money. But then the Chargers did what they do, and that’s blow the whole fucking thing. So now I’m done with the Bolo life. I’m with Miggsy, fuck Philip Rivers right in his dumb mouth.

Eat a drippy dick, Phil.

So congrats to Brandon on victory #2. He’s used to that number, although typically he’s doing #2 in his pants on a golf course like a fucking ANIMAL. He’s a gross human being, just flouting society’s conventions. Perhaps this disgusting hooligan would like to have a poo party right here in this picks column!

A live look at B-Cuddy's preferred bathroom

And then we have Miggsy, who’s supposed to be an upstanding citizen with a child on the way. But what do we have here? That’s right, this is a pic taken just last night and definitely not a Polaroid from ten years ago at a bar that no longer exists.
 

My face has been covered to protect my innocence

NJPW King of Pro-Wrestling 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another edition of PPV Predictions here at Enuffa.com!  It's a busy weekend as both WWE and New Japan have big events taking place (I know, technically NJPW's show is on Monday, but it's Columbus Day, so go screw!).

King of Pro-Wrestling is NJPW's biggest show of the fall and has already produced numerous classic matches in its short existence.  This is in fact only the fifth KOPW event, but it's got quite the lineage to live up to (KOPW 2012 and 2013 are among the best shows of the last five years).  Fortunately on paper this show stacks up very well.  Let's get to prognosticatin'....

Adam Cole, Bad Luck Fale & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Tomohiro Ishii, Will Ospreay & Yoshi-Hashi

The first few matches of this show are your standard 6- and 8-man tag warmups, but they all have potential to be enjoyable little bouts.  Cole's interaction with all three CHAOS members should be fun to watch.  I wonder if this'll set up Ishii challenging Cole for the ROH Title at some point.

Justin's pick: CHAOS
Landon's pick: As much as I love Adam, I wanna see Tomohiro beat the hell out of him. CHAOS wins.

Great Bash Heel, Bobby Fish & Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Roppongi Vice, Jado & Toru Yano

Hey wait, didn't Yano JUST team with the NOAH guys AGAINST his CHAOS stablemates?  What gives, Toru?  Anyway, this'll be brief but pretty wild I imagine.  Not much at stake here.

Justin's pick: Team GBH
Landon's pick: WE FINALLY GET TAIGUCHI AND YANO IN A MATCH TOGETHER. This is all I’m gathering from this. GBH/Fish/Ryuske to win.

Go Shiozaki, Katsuhiko Nakajima, Masa Kitamiya and Maybach Taniguchi vs. Hiroyoshi Tenzan, Satoshi Kojima, Yuji Nagata & Manabu Nakanishi

Another NJPW vs. NOAH match, following up on the 8-man tag from Destruction in Kobe.  New Japan took that match, rather unexpectedly, so I'll go with NOAH to win here.

Justin's pick: NOAH
Landon's pick: I’m sure you said that a lot during the Invasion angle, too Justin. Although, with the 3rd generation I’ll agree the NOAH prediction.

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Tag Championship: The Young Bucks vs. Ricochet & David Finlay

Here's where business picks up.  The brand new team of Ric and Dave just pulled off an upset, teaming with Kojima to beat The Bucks and Adam Cole for the Six-Man Titles, and now they'll face Matt & Nick again for the Jr. straps.  I wonder how long Matt Sydal will be unable to compete in Japan due to his visa issues.  Regardless it's nice to see Finlay getting some Championship matches and even his first taste of gold.  This should be a lotta fun.

Justin's pick: Bucks retain
Landon's pick: Bucks win. If David Finlay and Prince Puma get the IWGP Jr. Tag titles, I will personally post a video on Youtube of me doing 500 Hindu Squats.

WWE No Mercy Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of WWE Predictions, here at Enuffa.com!

These WWE PPVs sure have become a barrage, haven't they?  Every two weeks is a tad excessive.  Fortunately the split-brand PPVs have been solid work thus far.  Smackdown's Backlash overachieved and RAW's Clash of Champions was top-to-bottom one of the best main roster PPVs this year.  This Sunday's No Mercy looks on paper to follow suit.

As I said before, while Smackdown's roster desperately needs some thickening up, the one good thing about their lack of depth is these SD PPVs don't need to be 3.5-hour epic shows.  Just a nice, easily digestible sub-3-hour show with a handful of fun matches.  This way it doesn't feel like overkill.

Anyway, let's get to the card.  I currently lead Dan 44/68 to 41/68.  Neither of us is having a great year.  Eff you.

PreShow Match: Baron Corbin vs. Jack Swagger

Smackdown is becoming the show of second chances, with The Miz, Ziggler, Hawkins, Wyatt, and now Jack Swagger populating the damaged roster.  Swagger's first order of business is to feud with Baron Corbin in a hoss battle.  I'd be lying if I said I'm excited about this, as Swagger is so beyond irrelevant and his act so stale at this point.  But maybe he'll turn it around.

Justin's pick: Swagger
Dan's pick: Corbin, though I don't like him at all

Curt Hawkins vs. TBA

Welp, WWE brought back former Edgehead Curt Hawkins for some reason, despite never doing anything with the guy before, other than making him an Edge disciple.  The buildup to his comeback has been pretty good though, with the Chuck Norris-esque "facts."  Curt is only 31 so if used properly he could actually become an asset to the brand.  His opponent hasn't been announced yet but it doesn't matter really.  Curt's obviously winning his debut match.

Justin's pick: Curt Hawkins
Dan's pick: Who? But sure. He wins.

Mike's Fall Movie Preview

by Michael Drinan
@mdrinan380

It’s October! That means we are getting into the heart of movie award season prep. This is when most of the Oscar contenders are released to theaters nationwide. Whether you care about the Oscars or not, I know that you care about good movies and this is shaping up to be a great last few months of 2016 in that regard. So, I have compiled a list (in no particular order) of the films I’m excited to see. Here we go!

Manchester By The Sea - 11/18

This film has been getting incredible Oscar buzz ever since it wrapped up production and once you see the trailer it’s pretty clear why. The film stars Casey Affleck who is deemed guardian of his nephew after his brother passes away. This new responsibility forces him back to his hometown of Manchester-By-The-Sea which brings out old skeletons from his closet. The trailer doesn’t hint at it but there has been talk of a twist or spoiler that’ll break your soul. The movie also stars Kyle Chandler and the supremely talented Michelle Williams. This should be a not miss movie.

La La Land - 12/9

I don’t like musicals. In fact, I detest them. I think they’re corny, hammy, and overdone. There are two musicals I’ve seen that I liked: West Side Story and Chicago. Even my favorite actor of all time couldn’t get me to like a musical. But when I saw the trailer for this, I was sold. Emma Stone (I love you) and Ryan Gosling (I love you) star in Damien Chazelle’s (Whiplash) musical about a jazz musician who falls in love with an actress in LA. Everything about the trailer has me in love with it. It looks gorgeous. I haven’t been so captivated and enchanted by a movie trailer in a long time and combine that with all the love it’s been receiving and I’ll be quick to see it when it opens.

Moonlight - 10/21

From A24 films. Soon, you will see that in front of a trailer and you’ll say “Done. Seeing it.” because their roster of films is so impressive. We’re talking about Under The Skin, Ex Machina, Room, The Witch, Locke (just to name a few) and are only looking to continue that run with Moonlight. This is A24’s first in house production and the trailer for this film is stunning and indicates a powerful film. Moonlight chronicles the struggle of a character’s identity and homosexuality in a rough Miami neighborhood. It looks to be one of the most impressive, talked about films this year. I think if any movie is going to give Manchester By The Sea a run for it’s money in terms of Oscars, it’s this one. I can’t stop watching the trailer. This is going to be a must see.

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 4

by Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal)
Mike Parker (@UncleMiggsy) 
Brandon Cuddemi


Miggsy's Pick

We are all tied atop the Bud Light leaderboard with a record of 1-2 for an overall record of 3-9. We aren’t exactly lighting the betting world on fire. With a record so poor, how can you possibly talk trash about the other guys? Here’s how…. Danny is a hundred and forty-five years old and just got his driving license. He comes to abrupt stops every time and you slam back in the seat. It’s like driving with a teenager.  As for Brandon, the guy thinks riding around in an older model Acrua with tinted windows and listening to Drake on full blast makes him look cool.

"Hey ladies! It's an Acura TL!  What do you think?
Can I interest you in a little supplemental restraint?"

Miggsy’s Monsta Pick of the Week  
Cleveland Browns @ Washington Redskins 7.5 Pick: REDSKINS -7.5

If I’m honest, I don’t LOVE this game. I think the lines this week were all done very well. With the points spreads, most of these games could go either way. I settled on this one when I realized the Browns are starting a guy named Cody Kessler at QB. I’m hearing he’s battling through a bit of arm pain himself. It’s not looking too good for the 0-3 Browns. The Redskins have had a tough opening schedule and won their first game of the year last time out against the Giants on the road. Kirk Cousins signed a RIDICULOUS contract after last season, his first full season as a starter. Yeah he had a good year and led the NFL in completion percentage but who cares? He shouldn’t be the 4th highest paid player in the league, that’s just ridiculous. What he does have is confidence. He thinks he’s god’s gift to football. I kind of admire that. I hope he shows us just how much of a gift he is on Sunday, which used to be the Lord’s day anyway.

This Kessler didn't last.  I don't expect Cody to fare much better.