Monday, September 27, 2021

Awesomely Shitty Movies: Dune

Good day and welcome to Awesomely Shitty Movies!  Each installment will focus on a film that, despite considerable and crippling flaws, I can't help but like or even love.  These flaws could be with the script, the acting, the special effects, the cinematography, or all of the above, but in each case the movie has something going for it and I'm inexplicably fascinated by it, despite its ineptitude.

The first movie I'll be tackling is David Lynch's commercially and critically reviled adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic sci-fi novel Dune.


I was nine years old when this movie was released, and being a huge fan of Star Wars and Star Trek, I was immediately drawn in by the promise of sci-fi adventure.  In some ways the story of Dune resembled Star Wars (or really the reverse is true since the book was published 12 years before Star Wars was released) - a young hero with budding supernatural powers, a desert planet, laser guns, weird creatures, etc.  What I got though was a horribly confusing mish-mash of geo-political, religious and sci-fi themes overrun with baffling inner monologue narration and overly bizarre and gross-looking characters.

To be fair to Mr. Lynch, the studio interfered greatly during post-production and the theatrical cut was very different from what he intended.  Unfortunately he has all but disowned this film and has no interest in releasing a Director's Cut, which might actually make the story easier to follow.  There is a 3-hour version of the film available but Lynch had no hand in it, and from what I understand it actually confuses things even more.

Dune was originally supposed to be adapted into a film in the mid 70s, with famed Alien artist H.R. Giger attached as a production designer.  That incarnation went over-budget and never saw the light of day, and eventually in the 80s producer Dino DiLaurentiis acquired the project and David Lynch ended up in the Director's chair.

Anyway let's examine what's awesome about this movie, and then we'll talk about what's shitty.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

AEW Dynamite Grand Slam: A Modern-Day Clash of the Champions

AEW Dynamite Grand Slam.  What a fuckin' show.  Five matches, one of which ranks among the best free television matches I've ever seen, the rest of which were really good at worst.  This show combined the splendor and big fight atmosphere of a stacked Saturday Night's Main Event with the wrestling quality of the first Clash of the Champions (and even included a time limit draw).  Tony Khan said there would be four Clash-style Dynamites a year, and this show fit that description to a tee.  Light on angles and heavy on wrestling, this show felt like a two-hour PPV event and if you're a lapsed wrestling fan this is the type of show you should seriously give a chance to get back into it. 


The show began, shockingly, with Kenny Omega vs. Bryan Danielson, in front of an absolutely nuclear crowd of 20,000-plus.  The two in-ring masters started off slow and methodical and gradually built to a war of attrition, breaking out many, but not all of, their big moves, leaving some stuff on the table for an inevitable rematch.  Danielson frustrated Kenny with his mat grappling, harkening back to his Ring of Honor days at times (including, much to my delight, "I have till five!"), and working over the shoulder to soften it up for the LeBell Lock.  Omega fired back with chops that left a road map of welts on Bryan's chest, while also attacking his neck.  Both men zeroed in on the body part their respective finishers target.  As the match wore on the moves got bigger and higher impact.  Kenny hit numerous V-Triggers, including one where Bryan was propped up on the ring apron and Kenny ran all the way down the ramp before delivering the knee.  At one point Bryan broke out his old finisher Cattle Mutilation, but Kenny reached the ropes to break it.  Kenny went for the One Winged Angel numerous times but Bryan kept avoiding it.  Near the end of the bout Bryan went for the running knee but Kenny countered into a powerbomb.  Bryan avoided a Phoenix Splash attempt and hit his buzzsaw kick before attempting the LeBell Lock, but Kenny reached the ropes before he could lock it in.  Time ran out as the two men were laying into each other, and the Elite ran down to break it up, Matt and Nick Jackson superkicking Bryan in the corner.  This match was goddamn fantastic and I can't wait to watch it again.  If I'm booking this draw I'd probably have Bryan lock in his submission just before the bell so Kenny wouldn't have time to tap out, but otherwise this was a brilliantly worked professional wrestling main event.  Just wonderful.  *****


Wednesday, September 22, 2021

WWE Extreme Rules 2021 Preview & Predictions

WWE Extreme Rules is this Sunday and it's such a low priority for the company we only have six announced matches, only one of which is an Extreme Rules match.  On the Extreme Rules show.  This company straight up doesn't give a fuck anymore about anything but Saudi money and quick ratings bumps.


Of the six matches on this show, four look pretty good actually.  They'll probably toss one or two more on there last-minute.  I hope one of them involves Shinsuke Nakamura.  Seriously, when was the last time that guy got to wrestle a singles match on a PPV?  Anyone?  I'd look it up but I don't have that kinda time.  How an in-ring artist like Nakamura can be content wrestling for this company I'm sure I don't know.

Anyway let's take a look at this half-assed card.




Liv Morgan vs. Carmella


The hell is this doing here?  I like Liv Morgan but why is this match on a PPV while the Intercontinental Champion sits in catering?  I would hope Liv wins this and the company does something meaninful with her; she has a lot of potential and has for a while now.

Pick: Liv




Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Street Profits


This should be fine.  Usos are a damn fine team, Street Profits are quite capable.  This will be a lovely free TV match.

Pick: Usos retain, no reason to take the belts off them right now.


Tuesday, September 21, 2021

AEW Grand Slam Preview & Predictions

Ho-lee shit.  What a lineup AEW has on tap this week, a mega-awesome-super episode of Dynamite and a two-part PPV-quality card emanating from Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens, NY.  It's two hours on Wednesday, followed by two hours on Friday, and there are big matches up and down the card. 


It's an exciting time to be a pro wrestling fan.  Defections, surprises, dream matches, and as we learned this week, new relationships forged between organizations.  That's right, AEW is partnering with Dr. Martha Hart and the Owen Hart Foundation to honor the memory of the late, great Owen himself, tragically taken from us at the age of 34.  Not only will new Owen merch be created (I assume some of the proceeds will go to the Foundation), but AEW will hold an annual Owen Hart Memorial tournament.  Love it.

Anyway, we're here to talk Grand Slam, and this Wednesday's show especially is STACKED.  So let's pick some winners....



Dynamite


MJF vs. Brian Pillman Jr.


MJF has been ON FIRE on the mic since his loss to Chris Jericho at All Out, and his first target was the family of Brian Pillman in the latter's hometown of Cincinnati.  Pillman Jr. took issue with MJF's scathing promo and a new mini-feud was born.  This is obviously designed to give MJF a high-profile win after his PPV loss, but it will also no doubt elevate Pillman as a rising babyface star.  One thing I love about AEW is the thought that goes into feuds like this; in wrestling you want both the winner and the loser to get more over than they were prior to the match, and AEW has been working very hard to make sure that happens as often as possible.  Pillman will get plenty of room to shine but ultimately MJF and his ruthlessness will win the day, likely with further teases of an MJF-Wardlow feud.  This should be a fine match.

Pick: MJF




Sting & Darby Allin vs. FTR


I'm not quite sure how you book this.  I think FTR really needs a big win as they've been sort of treading water since the Inner Circle feud ended.  Then again, Allin is also coming off a major loss.  Sting could certainly stand to eat a pin here, though maybe the company wants to save that for a bigger moment.  It sounds like they're building toward a Sting-Tully match of some sort, which is odd.  I dunno, I guess you never bet against Sting and Darby.  Should be decent.

Pick: Sting & Darby

Monday, September 20, 2021

Top Ten Things: Brock Lesnar Matches

What's up folks?  Welcome to Enuffa.com's Top Ten Things, where I'll count down the ten best (or worst) of whatever's on my mind.



Today's list is the ten best matches in the storied career of former WWE/Universal Champion Brock Lesnar.  Lesnar is undoubtedly one of the best pure athletes to ever set foot in a wrestling ring.  He took the company by storm upon his debut in 2002 and in just two short years won three WWE Championships, the Royal Rumble, and the King of the Ring tournament, not to mention main eventing his first-ever WrestleMania. 

He left the company in 2004 to pursue an NFL career, and after falling just short of being picked up by the Minnesota Vikings, ventured into MMA, where his UFC career mirrored his first WWE stint.  Brock had a 5-3 MMA career that included a two-year run as the UFC Heavyweight Champion, making him one of only three men with two consecutive successful UFC Heavyweight Title defenses (his predecessor Randy Couture and his successor Cain Velasquez are the other two).

In 2011 he retired from MMA, but he'd return to WWE in April of 2012, making an instant splash by challenging the company's top star John Cena, ending the Undertaker's legendary WrestleMania winning streak, and once again becoming the Champion.  Since his return Lesnar only wrestles sporadically with mixed results, but each match has had a "big fight" feel, and a few of them have been instant classics.  Let's take a look at The Best of The Beast.

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

NJPW G1 Climax 31 Preview & Predictions

It's September during COVID, and that means it's time for NJPW's G1 Climax tournament!


Welp, this year's extravaganza of round-robin wrestling looks pret-ty rough.  For the last several years the G1 has been four weeks of mostly uninterrupted awesomeness, but based on the available talent in 2021 I think we're in for a bit of a letdown.  Far too many valuable stars are unable to get back into Japan thanks to the Delta variant, and thus both blocks have a fair bit of filler.  Complicating things is the threat of one or more stars catching the virus during the tournament, which could derail the company's plans.  Usually one or more top seeds will hit an early slump to create suspense, and then surge near the end of the block to make the finals.  But they can't really do that this year because if say, Okada loses his first three matches and then gets COVID and has to miss multiple shows while he recovers, he's mathematically eliminated.  So the booking here has to be very straightforward and also allow for a Plan B in case one or both of the intended finalists gets sidelined.

Anyway, let's look at these blocks - it's gonna be a rough go....


Block A


Great O-Khan

The United Empire's third-best guy is making his G1 debut here.  He's apparently been improving in recent weeks, though I haven't caught any of his bouts in a while.  He's not winning this block or even coming close to winning this block, but hopefully he puts in some good showings.


Kota Ibushi

The defending back-to-back G1 winner is looking to make it a threepeat, and thus see his fourth consecutive G1 final.  After his severe case of pneumonia it was great to see Ibushi back in action at Wrestle Grand Slam.  Ibushi is always a tournament MVP, but I don't think he wins his third in a row.  He'll go deep into the tournament, maybe even make the finals, but I don't think he takes the trophy this time around.

Top Ten Things: Mastodon Songs

Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!


With the recent release of Mastodon's seventh LP Emperor of Sand (a hella good record, my review of which is HERE) I thought I'd look back on their remarkable career and pick their top ten songs.  Every album is represented here except one - sadly nothing from their 2002 debut Remission made the cut for me.  In terms of standout tracks I found that Mastodon's more recent albums put more focus on individual song composition rather than presenting the album as a whole (understandable given that three of their earlier records were concept albums), so this list may seem skewed to their later output.  But feel free to discuss in the Comments section.  Here we go.....



10. Bladecatcher


This instrumental track from Blood Mountain is frenetic and bizarre, and captures perfectly the band's offbeat take on the metal genre.  From the start-stop intro to the blast-beat "verse" to the elastic "hook" guitar riffs, this song is a great introduction for anyone who needs a demonstration of how original and strange Mastodon is.




9. The Sparrow

This somber closer to The Hunter is probably the biggest departure yet from Mastodon's sludge-metal roots, featuring delicate arpeggiated guitars and only one harmonized vocal line that repeats throughout the song.  Inspired by a quote from the recently deceased wife of the band's accountant, the lyrics consist of a single phrase - "Pursue happiness with diligence."  On a stripped-down, song-oriented album like The Hunter, this ballad makes a fitting, poignant conclusion.




8. Octopus Has No Friends


Another standout from The Hunter (an album with numerous standout songs) is this unusual, upbeat tune featuring impossibly intricate guitar riffs and very simple lyrics literally exploring Brann Dailor's observation that whenever he sees an octopus at an aquarium, it's alone in the tank.  Pretty out-there thing to write a song about, but this is a fantastic track with some of Mastodon's most impressive syncopated playing.


Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Top Ten Things: Wrestling Championship Belts

Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!

Today I'm talking about some of my favorite championship belt designs in wrestling lore.  For decades the WWF generally seemed to have the most eye-catching belt configurations, but in recent years other companies have somewhat surged ahead in this area.  With the advent of the Universal Title it became clear WWE was endeavoring to make all their belts look the same, a la UFC.  To me that's both uncreative and bad business - if you're trying to sell loads of belt replicas wouldn't you want each one to look unique?

A great-looking belt design can add a sense of grandeur to a title, helping elevate it beyond simply being a prop, to being one of the richest prizes in the game and a symbol of excellence.  Of course a lot of that also depends on who wears the strap, but a championship belt needs to look like something for which every wrestler would be willing to risk it all.

Anyway, here are my ten favorite championship belt designs of all time....




10. WWE US Title (2003-2020)


Probably the least conventional of the designs on this list, the WWE version of the US Title uses the American flag as the center plate background, with images of the Statue of Liberty on the side plates.  While the NWA and WCW versions of the belt sported understated stars and stripes imagery, the WWE version just took it one step further, conveying literally the idea of a United States Champion.





9. WWF Intercontinental Title (1985-1998, current)


For years this was the best-designed belt in the WWF.  When the "Winged Eagle" belt was adopted in 1988, the Intercontinental Title became physically the largest belt in the company, and for a long time this was the top belt for the in-ring workhorses.  It displayed a simple, blocky design (which was borrowed by both WCW and ECW for some of their belts) with the side plates all carrying the company logo behind the image of two wrestlers grappling.  This design was so successful the company went back to it in 2011, after the rather bland Attitude Era design was discontinued.  It's kinda sad the best-looking current WWE Championship is the one recycled from the 80s.





8. TIE: ROH World Title (current, 2012-2017)





I had to cheat here and include a tie.  The current and former Ring of Honor belt designs are both incredibly ornate and gorgeous to look at.  The previous one boasted leaves climbing up the sides in incredible detail, bringing to mind Roman gladitorial games, while the new version smacks of kingly tradition, with its paisley flourishes adorning a stylized crown above the nameplate.  These are both beautiful belts.


Top Ten Things: September PPV Matches

Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com, where I compile a list of ten, well, things.

Today it's the ten greatest September PPV matches of all time.  September has often been the beginning of a slump period on the WWE calendar, where the summer angles have long since peaked at SummerSlam and now the company sorta treads water until WrestleMania season starts.  But that doesn't mean there haven't been some great individual efforts.  This list is also not limited to WWE; fans of NJPW and TNA will see a little sumthin-sumthin for them as well.

So let's get to it!




HM: Randy Orton vs. John Cena - Breaking Point - 9.13.09


The PG Era was in full-swing by 2009, and that meant no more blading in a WWE ring.  While for the most part this didn't affect the product all that harshly, it did mean gimmick matches might potentially suffer, as Hell in a Cells and Elimination Chambers would now have to be blood-free zones.  That just doesn't seem right.  But at the one-time Breaking Point event (where the main event matches all had submission rules), John Cena and Randy Orton managed to circumvent these rigid new limitations and deliver a masterpiece of understated violence, in an I Quit match.  Their fight played out much like a climactic movie sequence; Orton utilized his exceptional facials and reptilian in-ring persona to make every move seem downright malicious, seemingly relishing each moment.  At one point he handcuffed Cena and proceeded to flog him mercilessly with a kendo stick, leaving sickening welts all over his torso.  Cena eventually made a comeback, applying the STF and choking Orton out with his own arm.  That this I Quit match worked so well despite being pretty tame compared to say, Mankind vs. The Rock speaks volumes of Cena's and especially Orton's ability to get across character and expression.  I'd cite this as Orton's first foray into becoming a true main event-worthy player.




10. Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho - Unforgiven - 9.7.08


The best feud of 2008 was undoubtedly Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels.  After a babyface return in late 2007, Jericho quickly turned heel again in early '08, retooling his persona after the character of Anton Chigurh from No Country for Old Men.  Jericho became soft-spoken, sullen, and sanctimonious, insisting that born-again Christian Shawn Michaels was a hypocrite who didn't follow his own beliefs.  Their feud was intended as a one-off match that spring but stretched over nearly six months.  The best match of this saga in my opinion was the non-sanctioned street fight at Unforgiven, which sprung from an incident at SummerSlam.  Jericho invited Michaels and his wife Rebecca to his talk show, and their bickering led to Jericho accidentally knocking Rebecca out with a punch.  Again, this was tame by Attitude Era standards, but in the new PG Era it was treated as a huge deal, and the two wrestlers played it to the hilt.  Their fight was brutal without being bloody, and it ended via ref stoppage when Michaels had beaten Jericho unconscious.

Friday, September 10, 2021

Top Ten Things: Disappointing Movie Sequels

What up, my nerds?  Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!

Today I'll be talking about a heartbreaking cinematic experience that makes me die inside a little bit and eats away at my very faith in humanity - the disappointing movie sequel.  You've been there; a beloved film classic gets a new chapter, you get all excited in the pants area, you rush out to buy a ticket, you plant yourself in that dark theater, trembling with anticipation, and then.......Two hours later the lights come up and you say, out loud, to no one in particular, "What the absolute fuck did I just watch???"

Then you go home and it hits you: that aforementioned beloved film classic has now and forever been defiled by the ineptly-produced, soul crushing twaddle that followed.  It's like winning the SuperBowl and then crashing your car into a ditch on the way to the after-party.  It's like buying your wife a diamond necklace and then dragging it through the shit-filled drainpipe at the end of Shawshank Redemption.  It's like flying to Paris, visiting the L'Ouvre, and defecating all over the Mona Lisa.  And now you're out ten bucks and bubbling over with resentment.

Okay I might be overstating the emotional effect of these crappy films, but you get where I'm coming from.  Here now are the Top Ten Most Disappointing Movie Sequels (Note: To avoid this piece devolving into a Star Wars/Hobbit/Prometheus-bashing session I have not included any prequels - sequels only).....



10. Mission: Impossible II


Our first entry is the 2000 sequel to the very successful Brian DePalma-directed adaptation of Mission: Impossible, starring Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt.  Released in 1996, MI was a taut, suspenseful and pretty cerebral update of the TV show, featuring enough action set-pieces to please the summer popcorn crowd but enough character stuff and intricate plot to elevate it above the usual dreck.  I consider it one of the better offerings of that summer.  Fast-forward four years and Tom Cruise was back for the sequel, directed by John Woo and loaded with action and Wachowski-influenced fight scenes.  Problem was the story wasn't very compelling (a scientist develops a bioweapon which is then hijacked by a former colleague of Ethan's who plans to cause a mass infection so he can then sell the antidote at inflated prices), the action owed way too much to The Matrix, the central love triangle was tedious, and the villain (Dougray Scott) was more annoying than menacing.  Also where the first film was very smartly constructed, this one felt dumbed down and full of fan-service moments.  For example, in the first film Ethan uses latex masks to impersonate different people.  These masks are hyper-realistic and make Hunt indistinguishable from the real person.  I'd imagine such a sophisticated disguise would take considerable time to prepare and fabricate, not to mention you'd have to know that the guy you're impersonating is supposed to be in a particular place at a specific time for the ruse to work.  However in the second film, Hunt and Dougray seem to just have masks like this on-hand, ready to wear on the fly.  So clearly this gimmick was only thrown into the movie because it was used in the first one.  Overall I just found MI2 very uninteresting and kind of a generic action film with the MI name slapped on it.  Fortunately a) the series found its footing again with MI:3, Ghost Protocol, and beyond (Man does this series have legs), and b) Dougray Scott opted to be in this film instead of playing Wolverine.  We all dodged a bullet there.

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Top Ten Things: Wrestling T-Shirts

Welcome one and all to yet another edition of Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!  It's a list of ten things.  A list steeped in hyperbole.  I'm not ashamed to admit it.

Today we'll be talking about the greatest wrestling T-shirts of all time, in my humble estimation (Ah fuck humble, I'm right!).  Wrestling T-shirts are an invaluable marketing tool for any wrestling star.  Not only do you get fans to pay to advertise you to the world, if a T-shirt design is particularly eye-catching and memorable it can elevate that wrestler in the eyes of the fans (and management).  Think of how many times you watched a RAW or Nitro and saw a sea of Austin 3:16 or nWo shirts in the crowd.  The T-shirt can help make the star, especially if it sells like hotcakes and the company has no choice but to push the wrestler.  Generally speaking the best shirts in my opinion are either very simplistic and easy to spot, or tastefully pay homage to existing pop culture imagery.  It also helps when the wrestler himself frequently wears the shirt, giving the garment an air of authenticity (In fact every entry on this list falls into that category).  Here now is my list of the best wrestling T-shirt designs....




10. Eddie Guerrero (Scarface)


Our first entry is a play on the iconic poster for the film Scarface.  While I've never been much of a fan of this movie, the poster is one of the great pieces of cinema marketing, and Eddie's shirt uses this theme beautifully.  It also fits Eddie's character, that of the lying, cheating, stealing con man who makes no apologies for his win-at-all-costs mentality.  This was one of the few great shirts of the Ruthless Aggression era.




9. Cactus Jack (Wanted)


Speaking of a shirt befitting a character, how perfect is Cactus Jack's shirt displaying a Wanted poster for the crazed outlaw?  It worked so well in fact that when Mick Foley resurrected the Cactus persona in 1997 he actually wrestled in the shirt.  It's a simple design with an indie feel to it, and it encapsulates the violent, maniacal Cactus Jack character.




8. John Cena (NES)


Another shirt that lifts its design from existing artwork, this one is based of course on the cover art for Nintento Pro Wrestling, one of the earliest and most beloved wrestling video games.  For years this was the go-to game for wrestling enthusiasts.  As you may recall, the WWF's early entries in the video game arena were quite lacking, but this game had serious replay value.  Anywho, Cena's shirt simply substitutes his likeness where Fighter Hayabusa's once resided, as he's about to drop the Five Knuckle Shuffle.  On the back we get images of Cena dropping the move, with control pad iconography below.  Just a brilliant play on the NES artwork and one of several very cool Cena shirts (I also love the Pabst Blue Ribbon one).


Tuesday, September 7, 2021

AEW All Out 2021: The Game Changer

Every so often a wrestling company puts on a PPV event that feels like a defining moment for that company, where the matches deliver but the evening feels like something bigger than just a collection of great matches.  AEW has just done that with All Out 2021, a show held in front of a nuclear live crowd, including an all-time great tag bout, multiple **** outings, but also three debuts, one of which is sure to have the IWC abuzz for weeks.  This was an incredible night of pro wrestling.  Side note: Bleacher Report seriously needs to overhaul their new app - replays need to be made available immediately, the shows need to be Chromecastable, and the <10 and 10> buttons need to be added for ease of rewinding and fast-forwarding.  Fix this, BR.


The PPV proper kicked off with a rugged fight for the TNT Championship, as the brute Miro faced the scrappy veteran Eddie Kingston.  Miro attempted to bully Kingston from the start but was forced to backpedal upon learning that Kingston had him scouted and wasn't going to tolerate his shit.  They traded lots of strikes and some big suplexes and at one point a turnbuckle pad came loose, which would figure into the match later.  Miro hit his Machka kick and locked in Game Over, but Kingston refused to submit, eventually reaching the ropes.  Kingston came back with a DDT, but the referee was dealing with the turnbuckle pad and was late to the count.  The crowd exploded for the near-fall, and I wouldn't be surprised if this moment was meant to set up a rematch in New York.  Miro tried to ram Kingston into the exposed turnbuckle but the referee blocked it, and Miro mule kicked Kingston in the crotch and followed up with a huge Machka kick to get the pin.  Very solid opening fight that continued Miro's dominance while making Kingston look like a true match for him.  ***1/4

Another gritty matchup followed, as Jon Moxley took on Satoshi Kojima of NJPW.  These two went back and forth the entire match, neither man holding an advantage for long.  Kojima at one point hit a superplex after the two men took turns biting each other.  Moxley was stymied at numerous times and hit his first Paradigm Shift out of nowhere, but wasn't ready to go for the cover.  Instead he caught his breath, picked Kojima back up, and hit his high-angle Paradigm Shift for the exclamation point win.  As Moxley celebreated, Minoru Suzuki's music hit and the crowd went nuts.  Suzuki and Moxley traded blows and Suzuki locked on a rear naked choke, followed by the Gotch piledriver to set up a match on this week's Dynamite.  A very good match that was used to set up an almost certainly even better one.  ***1/2

Friday, September 3, 2021

Top Ten Things: Superior Movie Sequels

Yo yo yo!  Welcome to another Top Ten Things here at Enuffa.com! 

As a companion piece to my Disappointing Movie Sequels column I thought I'd compile a list of sequels that were actually superior to the original.  It's something that doesn't happen often, but there have been numerous second or third cinematic chapters that have either expanded on or generally outperformed their predecessor. 

**Please note, two common picks you won't see on this list are The Godfather part II and The Empire Strikes Back.  Don't start throwing fruit yet, hear me out.  While both of those films are great, I prefer The Godfather I and A New Hope, respectively, just by a hair.  I can understand why some like the sequels better but I'm not one of those people.**

**Please further note, I also haven't included The Two Towers or Return of the King, as the Lord of the Rings trilogy is really just one extended film.**


So let's get to business....


10. Terminator 2: Judgment Day


James Cameron's 1984 classic The Terminator took Arnold Schwarzenegger's already burgeoning movie career to the next level by casting him as an evil cyborg sent from the future to destroy the mother of his enemy John Connor.  From this simple concept Cameron created a mythic film saga of self-aware machines turning on their creators and laying waste to the entire planet; a concept borrowed for The Matrix series, among others.  Only problem with the first film was the modest budget, which didn't allow Cameron to fully realize the story.  Some of the effects were quite clunky and prevented full audience immersion.  Seven years later he more or less remade the movie but set it during John's childhood, when a second Terminator has been sent to kill him instead of Sarah. 
Unbeknownst to the evil machines, John's future self has reprogrammed one of the original Terminators (played of course by Arnie) to protect little John.  T2 tells a very similar story but expands on it both visually and conceptually.  John's mother Sarah is now a hardened badass who is determined to stop the creation of the network of machines before it ever starts, and she begrudgingly accepts Arnie's help despite her previous traumatic experience at the hands of his predecessor (not unlike Ripley's hangup with androids in Aliens).  As for the new evil Terminator, that one's an upgrade model comprised of liquid metal, who can shapeshift and is nigh indestructible.  This character is the subject of some of the movie's most innovative and expensive special effects, as he morphs from one likeness to another.  The result is a pretty thrilling action movie which, despite basically being a retread, is an improvement on the original at almost every level.  My only two complaints were that Edward Furlong wasn't much of an actor, and I missed Michael Biehn's presence.  Seriously, that guy rules!




9. Bride of Frankenstein


I first saw the original 1931 Frankenstein on the TV show Creature Double Feature when I was probably seven years old, and like most kids I was fascinated by this little film about a man who creates a monster.  It wasn't until years later when I actually read the book that I realized how simplistic the Karloff film was.  So many story threads were tossed out and the moral ambiguity of Frankenstein himself was sort of glossed over in favor of a hero vs. monster scenario.  Yes we somewhat sympathize with the monster, but he's kind of a mindless brute in the film, rather than the eloquent, tragic figure of the novel.  In college I finally watched Bride of Frankenstein, and my original assessment was that it strayed so far from the book and was so unabashedly weird that I hated it.  But upon later viewings I developed an appreciation for the film's uncompromisingly bizarre tone and for how ballsy its anti-religious and sexual undertones were for 1935.  The story is also much more complex and Karloff's monster is completely sympathetic, aided by his newfound ability to speak (Sadly all of his dialogue is monosyllabic and clunky, but you take what you can get).  The performances by Ernest Thesinger as the sinister, rather flamboyant Dr. Pretorious, and Elsa Lanchester as The Bride are also iconic in the pantheon of classic monster films.  The Bride's "birth" is obviously the most film's famous scene; Lanchester based her movements on those of a bird to achieve a sense of otherworldiness.  That this was such a memorable character is even more amazing considering how brief her appearance is.  My only real gripes with Bride of Frankenstein are a) that there was no effort to make the few characters recast from the first film look like the original actors, even though Bride begins immediately after the first movie ends (For example the Burgomeister is now thin and has a mustache and Frankenstein's wife Elizabeth is suddenly waaaaaay hotter), and b) that Frankenstein's lab has a lever in the middle of the room that blows up the entire building.  What might I ask moved him to install such an easily-activated self-destruct mechanism?


Thursday, September 2, 2021

AEW All Out 2021 Preview & Predictions

This Sunday it's the most anticipated AEW PPV of to date - get ready for the third edition of All Out!


Man, is this show stacked.  Sadly one of the matches I was most excited about, Pac vs. Andrade, is off the show due to "travel issues," but that doesn't change the fact that All Out 2021 has PPV of the Year potential.  Omega vs. Christian, while far from the biggest AEW Title match we've seen, should be fantastic.  Bucks vs. Lucha Bros in the cage should be absolutely blowaway amazing (though I'm sad Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus didn't get this spot; I was hoping for them to win the straps because I really like those two).  Chris Jericho vs. MJF in the final blowoff to their months-long feud should be great, dramatic, character-driven storytelling.  And of course, CM Punk.  I realize I haven't said much about one of the most long-awaited returns in wrestling history.  I've been a CM Punk fan since 2003 when I went to see a local Ring of Honor show and watched this loudmouthed young upstart and Raven beat the shit out of each other in a Raven's Rules match.  Immediately the guy grabbed my attention with his unique look and very obvious gift for cutting a promo.  Along with Samoa Joe, AJ Styles and Bryan Danielson, CM Punk was one of that generation's elite indie stars, who got themselves over without any marketing machine behind them.  He got over because he knew how to connect with the fans, and that gift followed him to WWE, where despite the already out-of-touch Vince McMahon not seeing dollar signs in the scruffy, tattooed star, Punk became the hottest commodity in the industry for a while.  It's been a full decade since his legendary "pipe bomb" promo, but watching his return on the August 20th Rampage you'd think no time had passed at all.  Punk's hometown crowd was absolutely explosive for his return, greeting their hero with one of the most nuclear pops I've ever seen.  Working off the cuff (what a refreshing concept), Punk did not disappoint, cutting an all-time great, heartfelt promo that almost served as the flipside of his infamous WWE pipe bomb.  Instead of a disgruntled, fed up, underappreciated workhorse whose company had all but thrown him overboard, we saw an emotionally fulfilled, returning icon, genuinely grateful for a chance at rebirth, in a company where his prodigious talents will be treasured instead of overlooked.  To say this moment was satisfying isn't doing it justice.  This promo felt like a vindication for every CM Punk fan WWE failed for so many years.  More than that, for every wrestler and wrestling fan WWE attempted to program into thinking there's only one way to make a superstar.  AEW has made it clear they value heart, work ethic, and love for the business over a bodybuilder's physique.  And that's what pro wrestling should always be about.

Okay, enough blathering.  Let's pick some winners....



Pre-Show Ten-Man Tag: Jurassic Express & Best Friends vs. Matt Hardy, Private Party & TH2


This should be a fun clusterfuck.  I'm glad to see Jungle Boy, Luchasaurus and Orange Cassidy getting something to do on this show, even if it's not on the PPV proper.  I was fully convinced AEW had set up the Tag Team Eliminator for a steel cage match as a way to give JE another shot at the Bucks, since they had the titles won if not for Elite interference.  It just seemed like the right time to pull the trigger on Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus; they're a mega-over babyface tag team.  I get putting Lucha Bros in there instead, as the match will be unbelievable, but Fenix and Penta have something else going on with Andrade, and don't have the underdog babyface appeal like JE.  Maybe the company has something bigger planned for JE or whomever finally dethrones Matt and Nick.  Anyway, this match should be fun.  That's all I'm trying to say.

Pick: I'll go with the good guys to win here




Women's Casino Battle Royale


This was meant for the pre-show originally but with Pac-Andrade off the card it's been moved to the main card.  This has to be the most stacked women's battle royal in company history thus far, with two (so far) former champions and numerous up-and-comers.  We have two TBD slots thus far, one of which could be Riho and the other I'm banking on being the former Ruby Riott.  I don't think either of them wins here but you never know.  The 19 announced names are Nyla Rose, Thunder Rosa, The Bunny, Big Swole, Julia Hart, Tay Conti, Diamante, Penelope Ford, Red Velvet, Hikaru Shida, Emi Sakura, Jade Cargill, Kiera Hogan, Abadon (YES!), Leyla Hirsch, KiLynn King, Rebel, Jamie Hayter, and the returning Anna Jay.  Solid lineup there.  If you narrow it down to realistic winners I'd go with Nyla, Thunder, Shida, Sakura, Jade, one of Britt's friends, or a TBD.  I'd say of those options Thunder Rosa is the most likely since the company obviously needs to follow up on their stellar hardcore match from a few months back.  Then again, you probably want to save Baker-Rosa II for Full Gear.  So maybe Riho ends up being one of the TBDs, wins this and gets a TV match.  I guess I'll go with Riho if she's there, Rosa if she's not.

***UPDATE: Riho was just announced as one of the two TBDs, so she's my pick.***

Pick: Riho

Tuesday, August 31, 2021

NJPW Wrestle Grand Slam at MetLife Dome Preview & Predictions

NJPW is back with another stadium show that in the time of COVID can't possibly sell out, Wrestle Grand Slam!


This weekend it's back-to-back nights at the MetLife Dome in Tokozawa, and we've got a slew of title matches on tap.  Night 1 especially looks very promising, with the long-awaited return of Kota Ibushi in the main event, plus a big first-time collision of former RPG3K members Sho and Yoh.  Night 2 on the other hand has Hiromu Takahashi returning to try and reclaim the belt he never lost.  Both nights will feature a Stardom exhibition match on the pre-show, which should be fun.  I've never actually seen a Stardom match but I've been meaning to.  Regardless both shows feature some potential classics.  Let's take a look.....



Night 1


Flying Tiger vs. Hiromu Takahashi & Bushi

The warmup tag match will see Takahashi getting his feet wet before his big title match on Night 2.  I don't expect this to go very long and I think Tiger Mask IV is there to eat the pin.

Pick: LIJ




Sho vs. Yoh


This should be pretty great.  Sho in particular is awesome and I'm excited to see what he can do as a new heel.  It's almost a Shawn vs. Marty dynamic.  I see some singles championships in Sho's future and maybe Yoh's as well.

Pick: Sho needs to win the first contest


Friday, August 27, 2021

Awesomely Shitty Movies: Empire Records

Welcome to another edition of Awesomely Shitty Movies here at Enuffa.com, where I take a closer look at either a flawed old favorite, a lofty disappointment, or a cult flop.  Today's subject is the latter.  It's the 1995 box office bomb Empire Records, a film that was little more than a thin excuse to sell a soundtrack album, but with a surprisingly accomplished cast and a heart that's actually in the right place.


Empire Records is yet another 90s slacker comedy that takes place in one day, centered around a group of teens working in a music store.  The assistant manager learns at the outset that the store's owner is getting ready to sell this Delaware fixture to a retail chain, and takes drastic measures to try and prevent this tragedy.  The rest of the story sort of hinges on this moment, but each character has his or her own personal arc, and for a critical and commercial bomb the screenwriters juggled all these threads somewhat admirably.  But yeah, this movie absolutely TANKED at the box office and didn't gain any real recognition until its home video release, where it became a cult favorite.

Side note, Regency Enterprises executive Michael Nathanson greenlit this film, and was approached two days later with the script for a little movie called Clueless, which he promptly turned down because he was already making a teen movie.  Clueless of course went on to make a huge profit for Paramount.  Goddamn, that's gotta sting.

So let's settle into this record store groove and separate the hit songs from the stinkers....



The Awesome


Cast/Characters

For a teen comedy that flopped with both audiences and critics, this movie has a helluva lot of acting talent and future-star power.  Two-time Oscar winner Renée Zellweger, Liv Tyler, Anthony LaPaglia, Debi Mazar, Robin Tunney, Maxwell Caulfield, and a few future character actors in Ethan Randall, Rory Cochrane, Johnny Whitworth and Brendan Sexton.  That's a pretty deep cast, and their respective characters supply many of the film's charms.  Pretty much every character is likable/relatable in some way.  Joe is the reluctant father-figure who'd do anything for his staff, Corey is the anxious overachiever, Gina is the loose girl with a heart of gold, AJ is the likable art student who's heartsick for Corey, Lucas is the lovable scamp who wants to save the store from becoming a stuffy corporate retailer.  This cast and their performances elevate the trite script above its station.

I like this group of crazy kids....




Capturing the 90s

90s nostalgia is big these days, and Empire Records has a ton of it.  Thus for us sad old adults, watching it now is like being transported back to those carefree college days of short skirts, Doc Martens, mom jeans, flannel shirts, front-curtained men's hairstyles (think 90s Johnny Depp), and post-grunge alternative.  Which brings us to the soundtrack, really the driving force of the film.  Empire Records was reviewed at the time as "a soundtrack in search of a movie," and I can't really argue much.  This movie feels like it was made just to sell records, thus the CD is loaded with transitory 90s artists like Gin Blossoms, Edwyn Collins, The Cranberries, Toad the Wet Sprocket, and Better Than Ezra, while the film also includes Sponge, Dishwalla, Ass Ponys, etc.  Empire Records is exploding with 90s pop culture and it's hard now not to get swept up in all of it, particularly as someone who lived through that (glorious, GLORIOUS I tell you) era.

Short-ass skirt? Check. Bare midruff? Check. Sad clown hair? Check.


Wednesday, August 25, 2021

Top Ten Things: Must-See Samoa Joe Matches

Welcome to another edition of Top Ten Things here at Enuffa.com, where I count down the ten best or worst of whatever's on my mind.  Today it's the mighty Samoa Joe, and his fantastic career.


I first became aware of Joe in 2003 when I attended a live ROH event, and upon hearing his name thought he'd be some kind of lame cartoon character.  When he appeared from behind the curtain I still wasn't convinced, based on his unconventional physique.  And then I saw him wrestle.  Folks, from 2003-2009 Samoa Joe was as good as anyone in the entire world at professional wrestling.  Unfortunately by '09 TNA had already spent about three years either underutilizing or completely wasting Joe's immense skillset, and he became rather unmotivated as a result, failing to build on his already stellar body of work.

Joe's NXT run from 2015-2017 was quite dominant and included two NXT Title reigns (I got to witness his first championship win over Finn Balor in person), and he eventually made it to the main roster for a while, where he had noteworthy scuffles with Brock Lesnar, Roman Reigns and Braun Strowman, as well as a lengthy feud with old rival AJ Styles.  An injury sidelined him for over a year and he spent some time as a color commentator before being released and re-hired to NXT, becoming the brand's first three-time champion.

Anyway, here's a look at Joe's pre-WWE classics.....



10. Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk - ROH: Joe vs. Punk II - 10/16/04


Largely credited with putting both Punk and Joe on the Indy wrestling map, the second match of their much-heralded trilogy is widely considered to be the best.  Punk and Joe went a full hour for the second time, wrestling to a draw, in a match that pulled out all the stops and earned the elusive "five-star" rating from the Wrestling Observer.  I don't love it as much as others do, but it is quite an accomplishment from two of the best workers of the past two decades.





9. Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe - TNA: Final Resolution - 1/14/07


Joe and Angle fought several times on TNA PPV, and this was the third in an early trilogy that began with Angle's TNA debut.  TNA rather squandered the hugeness of the Joe-Angle feud, hotshotting this match immediately upon Angle's arrival.  However the matches speak for themselves, and their first encounter still stands as TNA's biggest PPV buyrate.  Anyway, the Final Resolution match was 30-minute Iron Man match full of drama and gutsy action.  It was evenly contested until the 25-minute mark when Angle pulled ahead 3-2, and Joe just barely failed to tie it up.

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

The History of NXT TakeOver: 36

What may have been the final NXT TakeOver as we know the concept was a smashing success.  The 36th Network special from WWE's only consistently good brand featured nary a bad match, boasting two bouts that easily cruised into ****+ territory, and three others that were solid ***1/2 fare.


The show's unexpected hit opened things, as LA Knight defended the Million Dollar Belt against Cameron Grimes in a bout I had no interest in, but one that delivered in spades.  These two worked a blistering match with loads of high-impact offense including Grimes hitting his backflip powerslam after skinning the cat back into the ring and Knight hitting a top rope German suplex.  Knight tried to use the Million Dollar belt but Ted Dibiase took it away, tossed it into the ring to distract the referee, and locked Knight in the Million Dollar Dream.  He threw Knight back into the ring and Grimes put him away with his Cave-In double stomp to win back the title.  A very good opener that I enjoyed much more than I expected to.  ***1/2

Next up was the Women's title as former best friends Raquel Gonzalez and Dakota Kai faced off in an intensely personal contest, a la Diesel vs. Shawn in 1995.  Dakota used her speed and flexibility to keep Raquel off-balance for the bout's first act.  Raquel seemed to take a little while to find her rhythm in this match but by the second half everything looked really good.  Kai at one point hit her Kai-ropractor, a Canadian Destroyer-like back-cracker that looks super cool.  She tried to finish Raquel with a Balor-esque top rope stomp but Raquel kicked out.  They fought on the top rope and Raquel withstood a yakuza kick and got off her Chignona Bomb from the second rope to retain.  Another very good match from a young champion solidifying herself as the division's leader.  ***3/4

Top Ten Things: CM Punk Matches

Welcome to another edition of Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com! 

Today I'll be counting down the ten greatest matches of one of the most controversial figures in wrestling history, CM Punk. 


As he did a decade ago, CM Punk just became the most talked-about star in professional wrestling, having made his long-awaited return to the business on August 21st on AEW Rampage.  One of the most gifted talkers in wrestling history, Punk gave a heartfelt speech in front of one of the most molten live crowds I've ever seen, and laid the groundwork for a whole new lease on his career.  Now freed of WWE's creative shackles, Punk will be able to fully craft his own promos and matches, and lend his considerable artistic acumen to helping build a better future for both AEW and the wrestling industry at large.  I have no doubt he will leave AEW better than he found it, and in a few years I'll need to make amendments to this list, but regardless, Punk has undoubtedly cemented a legacy as one of the most fascinating and unconventional top wrestling stars of the last twenty years.  Here now are the ten best matches in the remarkable roller coaster career of CM Punk.




10. John Morrison vs. CM Punk - ECW TV 9.4.07


In 2007 Punk was a member of WWE's third brand, the revived (and horribly watered down) ECW.  Punk was handpicked by Paul Heyman to be the show's hot new star, and despite tepid feedback from the head office, became a major cult favorite.  After over a year of flirting with the ECW Championship and being passed over in favor of seemingly less appropriate candidates (Bobby Lashley anyone?), Punk would get his one last shot at then-Champion John Morrison (a great athlete but another odd choice to represent the "hardcore" brand).  Their hand somewhat forced by Morrison's suspension for a Wellness Policy violation, WWE finally gave Punk his first taste of gold on a weekly ECW episode.  After a fantastic back-and-forth match, Punk triumphed and began a short run with the ECW Title.




9. Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk - Joe vs. Punk II 10.16.04


Largely credited with putting both Punk and Joe on the Indy wrestling map, the second match of their much-heralded trilogy is widely considered to be the best.  Punk and Joe went a full hour for the second time, wrestling to a draw, in a match that pulled out all the stops and earned the elusive "five-star" rating from the Wrestling Observer.  I don't love it as much as others do, but it is quite an accomplishment from two of the best workers of the past decade.


Monday, August 23, 2021

WWE SummerSlam 2021: Becky Returns and Then Pisses People Off

Well, as expected WWE's SummerSlam 2021 was yet another mixed bag of a show.  A few of the matches were very good, a few of the matches were utterly pointless, and God forbid we have a WWE PPV without a moment that flat-out pisses people off.  SummerSlam had all of these things.  Vince McMahon once again proved he could fuck up a bag of Doritos.


The PPV kicked off with the RAW Tag Championship, as AJ Styles and Omos defended against RKBro in a short but energetic bout that brought to mind old school PPVs where the opening match was just an easily digestible warmup.  AJ did almost all the work for his team and meshed well with both opponents, there were some fun spots later in the match as Matt Riddle took an Omos apron slam and an AJ moonsault DDT on the floor, perfectly executed.  It boiled down to AJ and Orton, who missed his first RKO attempt but scored on the second, pinning AJ to win the straps.  The crowd loved this title change and Riddle was ecstatic, and even Orton looked happy.  Decent little opener.  ***


Immediately the streak of good matches ended as Alexa Bliss faced Eva Marie in a useless regular match that didn't belong anywhere near a PPV.  There was no supernatural bullshit, which was good, but we were subjected to an Eva Marie match, which was bad.  Bliss hit Twisted Bliss off the top, followed by a DDT for the win.  I can guarantee this match did not garner a single ticket purchase or Peacock subscription.  Why was this on this show?  *

Friday, August 20, 2021

WWE SummerSlam 2019 Preview & Predictions

I hope you've enjoyed our look back at SummerSlam's 30+ year history, because now it's time to predict this year's edition.  And it looks......kinda boring.  


Thanks to Vince McMahon's gnat-like attention span, this year's lineup comes off as one of the most disorganized in recent memory, if not ever.  There are some good on-paper matchups, but most of the rumored bouts I was excited for either got tossed off on free television the past two weeks, or in the case of Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan, Vince couldn't figure out how to get from Point A to B to C, in time for the third-biggest show of the year.  I'd like to repeat that.  Vince McMahon, who's been doing this job since 1983, couldn't move a feud between two of the company's biggest stars along fast enough to get the resulting match on his third-biggest PPV.  For one thing, this "career-altering announcement" Daniel Bryan teased three weeks ago simply got thrown out.  No payoff at all.  Because apparently no one watches these stupid shows week to week.  Attention religious WWE viewers: Vince McMahon thinks you're stupid.  Always has.  So Vince decided to nix that whole angle and instead positioned Bryan as the guy who's been mysteriously attacking Roman backstage, but waited so long that he only had 12 days to put the match together in time.  Still this could've happened, had he written the reveal to be on this week's RAW.  But no, he instead saved the Erick Rowan reveal for the last five minutes of the go-home Smackdown, so Bryan still hasn't even been established as the guy behind it all.  Fuck's sake.

Aside from Roman-Bryan, we're also not getting Nakamura-Ali (they booked Ali to beat Nak in a non-title match and then had him lose to someone else a week later, so the I-C Champ now has no feud), Aleister Black vs. Sami Zayn (given away for free), the RAW Tag Title match (Anderson & Gallows won it on RAW), the Women's Tag Title match (gave it away on RAW and had the wrong fucking team win - Asuka and Kairi need to get out of WWE, pronto).

But don't worry, this lineup is chock full of part-timers and old-timers.  Brock, Orton, Shane, Trish, and for fuck's sake, Goldberg, the guy whose match with the Undertaker is sure to win Worst Match of the Year honors.  No wonder young people don't watch this shit anymore, the two big title matches involve OVW Class of 2002 stars, Shane and Goldberg are 50, and Trish, god love her, hasn't been relevant since the Dubya administration.  You couldn't find room for Reigns, Bryan, Nakamura, Joe, Rey, Andrade, Black or Zayn on a SummerSlam card??  This is like the SummerSlams from 10-12 years ago where they just left off half the big stars for no reason.

Fuck it, let's get this over with....



Cruiserweight Championship: Drew Gulak vs. Oney Lorcan


Oh good, they found room on the show for 205 Live.  Look, I'm not pickin' on the cruiserweights, they're all very talented and their matches are basically always good.  But 205's viewership is simply not strong enough to justify this title getting represented on every PPV (or pre-show) when the Intercontinental and every set of Tag belts can't even make it on.  Seriously, why did they bother creating a Women's Tag Title and then do absolutely nothing with it?  Fuck.  Anyway, this'll be fine and will probably happen on the pre-show.  Gulak just won the belt last month, so he'll keep it.

Pick: Drew Gulak


Thursday, August 19, 2021

WWE SummerSlam 2021 Preview & Predictions

This Sunday, no wait, SATURDAY is SummerSlam 2021, and we've got ten matches of varying quality to preview!


Welp, after two years we'll finally get to see a SummerSlam take place in front of a live crowd, at a 70,000-seat stadium no less.  About half the show looks intriguing, about one quarter of the show looks pretty dull, and the remaining quarter looks like the drizzling shits.  Once again WWE has left some great talent on the shelf for the third-biggest show of the year while granting spots to numerous people who don't deserve them.  But we'll get to that, don't you worry.

Let's pick some winners....



Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie


What in the name of all things holy, THE FUCK, is this piece of shit match doing on a SummerSlam card?  Asuka doesn't have a match but these two zeroes do?  Don't get me wrong, Alexa can wrestle, but not as this dumbass Fiend continuation.  Fuck this storyline, fuck this gimmick, it's pure drivel and I can't believe anyone with a say in this company thinks it's quality television.  Hell, I can't believe these two women think it's quality television.  I dearly hope this gets bumped to the pre-show.

Pick: Alexa wins because we need to continue having her defecate all over the women's division with hypnotism and scary dolls.




Drew McIntyre vs. Jinder Mahal


Another piece of shit match.  Jinder Mahal has a spot on this show but Cesaro, Nakamura and Owens don't.  Let that sink in.  How the mighty McIntyre has fallen.  Dude went from the WWE Title picture for the better part of 18 months to trying to get a good match out of maybe the worst WWE Champion ever.  This is gonna suck.  Can we at least add Heath Slater so it's a 3MB Triple Threat?

Pick: Drew

Tuesday, August 17, 2021

NXT TakeOver 36 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to the predictions for possibly the final good NXT TakeOver special before Vince totally ruins the brand.  It's TakeOver 36!


Yup, the decree has come down from on high.  NXT will no longer be a viable brand in its own right with accomplished workhorses and an eclectic collection of up and coming stars.  Nope, we'll be going back to the 2005-2013 era where developmental is just a place to try and teach wrestling skills to a bunch of uncoordinated bodybuilders who all look and wrestle the same.  Imagine how out of touch a wrestling promoter has to be in 2021 to think the key to success is for every new star to look like Batista.  Hey Vince, NO ONE GIVES A FUCK WHAT THE GUY LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE.  We want to see wrestlers who can wrestle and connect with us.  The concept of a guy having THE LOOK went out the window a long fucking time ago.  Either let this shit go or step down.

Words cannot express how depressing NXT is about to become....

Anyway here's the lineup for Sunday.




Million Dollar Championship: LA Knight vs. Cameron Grimes


I didn't give a sloppy deuce about the Million Dollar title back in the day and I certainly don't now, thirty years on.  Why they brought back this gimmick I'm sure I don't know.  Neither of these guys does all that much for me either, so I don't expect much of this match.  I do expect both of these guys to get called up in the somewhat near future and not used.  Because that's what NXT is going back to.

Pick: I guess Cameron wins the belt?