Thursday, January 25, 2018

The XFL is Back, BABY!!!

by Dan Moore


Vince McMahon just announced the return of his formerly ill-fated and all but forgotten sports venture, the XFL. That's right, the football league with WRASSLIN' commentators and big old floppity titties is coming back.

She plays for the New Jersey Hindenburgs

I dunno about you but while I wait for the Super Bowl to commence in about a week, this announcement of a sub-par football league coming back is really getting my gonads a-moving. I for one cannot wait to see a team fumbling punt returns and throwing short on 3rd and long every time (like Andy Reid!). 

And holy shit can you imagine what the silly nicknames could be on the back of the jerseys nowadays??!?! Yea, me neither cause they could be real fucking names. There is 100% a kid SOMEWHERE in America named He Hate Me. I guaran-fuckin'-tee it. 

SHALOM! It is I, He Hate Me Blumsack!

I have no idea why Vince hates money, cause this thing is probably gonna fail AGAIN. He's spending $100 million bucks to televise third rate football games WITHOUT my man Johnny Manziel. I mean, WHAT??!?! Vince said that nobody with a criminal background can be in the league. That's like 95% of the SEC. Who's gonna be in this league, soccer players?!?!


Regardless, I'll still watch this piece of shit league for three reasons. 

A. I love football

2. I love train-wrecks

D. You're outside of your mind if you think I'm gonna miss Tim Tebow suiting up for the Corpus Chisti Christ-O's.

"Christ is the only Hail Mary I need...wait a minute..."

No comments:

Post a Comment