It's that time of year again, when WWE takes a once-great gimmick PPV and half-asses the shit out of it because Vince doesn't care!
That's right, this Sunday is the 35th annual Survivor Series, which means RAW and Smackdown are once again feuding, even though they've done precisely zero to build up the brand rivalry thing and barely even mentioned the various matches on the card. Except for the numerous elimination team substitutions they've booked for whatever reason, I guess to build up Adam Pearce as the 163rd heel authority figure in the last quarter-century? Imagine being so creatively bankrupt you keep recycling the big angle from 23 years ago just because it was white-hot THEN. Anyway, apparently if no Saudi blood money is involved in a given PPV Vince just isn't that into it anymore.
What's sad is this show actually boasts a pretty strong lineup. Two elimination matches and four champion vs. champion bouts. If Vince just stays out of the way of booking the show it could turn out pretty solid.
RK-Bro vs. The Usos
The two sets of tag champs will face off and on paper this is a fine matchup. All four guys can work a match, RK-Bro is one of the most over acts in the company, and it's a shame Vince doesn't see Matt Riddle as a legit badass despite the fact that he's a legit badass, because he's almost certainly eating the pin here. Riddle could be a main event player in a non-dysfunctional company, but no, Comedy Stoner Buffoon is about the best he can hope for from Old Man Vince.
Pick: Usos
Damien Priest vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Speaking of legit badasses Vince doesn't get, Nakamura has been the Intercontinental Champion for what, three months now and has defended it on television ONE time? And hasn't had a PPV match at all during this reign? This guy needs to get the fuck outta there, pronto. If given time this match should be very good as well. Damien Priest is one of the few recent signees the company hasn't screwed up yet and they've amazingly done a good job of protecting him. So he's undoubtedly winning here; no way does Priest get pinned or submitted by a guy they have no plans for. Hopefully they get a good 17 minutes or so to try and steal the show.
Pick: Priest
Women's Elimination Match: Bianca Belair/Rhea Ripley/Liv Morgan/Carmella/Zelina Vega vs. Sasha Banks/Shayna Baszler/Shotzi Blackheart/Natalya/TBD
No idea who the TBD is to replace Aaliyah. Is someone due to come back or get called up from NXT? Bayley perhaps? Anyway, if the booking isn't stupid like last year and they give this match enough time and they eliminate people in the right order, this could be very good. Bianca & Ripley vs. Sasha & Shayna would be a very strong final four. I feel like since the men's Smackdown team is awful and thus RAW is likely to win that match, I'll pick Team Smackdown in this one.
Pick: SaShayNatalya Blackheart
Men's Elimination Match: Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Kevin Owens/Bobby Lashley/Austin Theory vs. Drew McIntyre/Jeff Hardy/Xavier Woods/Baron Corbin/TBD
Christ, another TBD for no reason. Yeah, Team RAW is loaded (except for Austin Theory, not sure why he's there now instead of Rey), Team Smackdown not so much. I'd book it where Team RAW dominates the first half and eliminates everyone but Drew and Woods, and the two of them put up a good fight but come up short at the end, and Seth and one other guy survive. Again, if this gets time and the booking isn't stupid it should be fun.
Pick: Team RAW
Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair
Oh super, this match for 400th time. Only thing making this more intriguing this time around is that these two genuinely don't like each other these days. Maybe they'll actually potato each other? That would be an entertaining train wreck. I'm still waiting for that nonsense at SummerSlam to pay off, remember that? Becky screwed Bianca out of the title and turned heel so Bianca could chase her and win it back? We still doing that or no? Becky is 100% the babyface in this match because no one likes Charlotte. Why they thought they could turn Becky heel after she was away for a year is beyond me. Absences makes the heart grow.....something? I'm sure I've heard a saying like that somewhere. Anyway, if these two get kinda real for 20 minutes this could be good. It's like Bret vs. Shawn II!!
Pick: Becky
Roman Reigns vs. Big E
This match is fresh, except for the time Roman showed up on RAW and beat both Big E and Bobby Lashley just to make sure people don't take any other champions too seriously. Now would be a great time to have E get a major upset win to help legitimize him as a first-time WWE Champion. But they won't. Gotta keep Roman strong for The Rock.....in 2023.....if he's up for it....please be up for it Dwayne??? I'm curious who they have in mind to finally dethrone Roman, because there's literally no one left right now. Drew could do it but he's been stomped down so much over the last 10 months I don't see that sticking. Anyway, this should be a very enjoyable main event hoss fight. But Roman's not losing anytime soon.
Pick: Roman
Well this lineup ain't bad at all. WWE could very easily find numerous ways to fuck it up, but on paper I'm somewhat looking forward to this show. Man, imagine if AEW did a Survivor Series-style PPV a la 1987? Two men's elimination matches, a women's elimination match and a tag teams elimination match? Holy jeez that would rule....
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