One episode of said TV series focused on the wonderful 80s toy line known as He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Anyone who grew up in that era remembers these larger-than-life figures with impossible musculatures, colorful appearances, pun-driven names, and bizarre quirks/powers. The first time I saw the original He-Man commercial my brain almost exploded. These figures looked nothing like any other action figures available at the time. The characters were so vibrant and otherworldly you couldn't take your eyes off them. Mattel hit one out of the park with this toy line, scoring record-breaking numbers four or five years in a row, and consistently introducing new series of memorable characters year after year. A side note: this toy line introduced me to the concept of recycled molds. Pretty much every figure had the exact same torso mold and initially there were only three sets of arms and legs. Even as a seven-year-old I noticed this. But it didn't matter, these toys fucking rocked my nuts off. A syndicated tie-in cartoon show proved invaluable for selling MOTU figures and for a little while He-Man ruled the action figure market, spawning numerous ripoff lines, my favorite of which were the Remco figures based on obscure DC Comics characters like Warlord and Arak (They even had a disclaimer on the package: For Use with Masters of the Universe action figures). I was so goddamn excited a few years ago when they re-released essentially the original MOTU figures, and I scooped a bunch of 'em up again. For my son to play with. Yeah, that's it.....
Note: Once I got really into wrestling, the He-Man line doubled as my wrestling toys, since they were the perfect size for the WWF toy ring. Shut up, you did it too....
But which characters were my favorites? Which of these silly fantasy barbarian toys have stuck with me three-plus decades later? Let's take a look.....
10. King Hiss
This absurdly over-the-top figure was like He-Man meets Transformers, and the leader of The Snake Men or whatever they were called (an older character named Kobra Khan joined up with this villainous stable as well, like in a pro wrestling angle). King Hiss looked like a human wearing snake-like armor, but pop off his arm and torso coverings, and GAAAAH, HE'S LITERALLY A GODDAMN SNAKE-MAN!!! His actual upper body was comprised entirely of snakes (oddly his legs were still humanoid though), creepy enough to unnerve even his fellow bad guys. I spent so much time transforming this guy from man to snake-man and it was a fairly ingenious gimmick.
9. Faker
On paper this has to be the stupidest toy ever. An evil robot that's supposed to be a dead ringer for He-Man, except he has blue skin, Skeletor-style armor, and a visible tape recorder in his chest (courtesy of a sticker). The idea is that Skeletor built this droid to infiltrate the good guy lair and pimp He-Man's friends for information. Skeletor must think Team He-Man are either legally blind or just absolute fucking morons. Who would fall for this trap?? "Whoa, He-Man, you're looking a little pekid, maybe have a nice lie down and some soup? By the way, here are those Grayskull blueprints you asked for...." Added to that, Faker was an appallingly flagrant cannibalization of an existing toy, just to sell more toys. You gotta marvel at Mattel's balls, man. Regardless of how illogical this character was, the toy looked awesome.
8. Mer-Man/Stinkor
Speaking of blatant mold recycling, in 1984 Mattel took one of the original characters, Mer-Man, painted him black & white, doused him in some kinda putrid-smelling chemical, and repackaged him as a skunk-like character named Stinkor. Nevermind that a skunk-man wouldn't have webbed feet or fin-like ears, this guy looked boss. And his armor covered his nose and mouth, implying he smelled so bad even HE couldn't stand it! I loved the black, white, red and orange color scheme, and the stinky gimmick was brilliant. Think about it - Mattel got us to buy an action figure that smelled like a goddamn skunk. Either we're all suckers or Mattel are a buncha Jedi Masters who can bend everyone to their will. The smell eventually wore off, but Stinkor remained one of my all-time favorite characters.
As for Mer-Man, this mold was much more appropriate for an undersea creature, and his scaly armor looked killer. It did always bug me that his face looked nothing like the cartoon, comics or even the picture on the back of the packaging! Also they originally were going to call him Sea Man, but changed it for obvious reasons. Can you imagine one of the heroes saying "Oh no! Sea Man is all over our base! Why is Sea Man so hard to get our hands on? I feel all slimy now that I've touched Sea Man!"