Thursday, March 18, 2021

WWE Fastlane 2021 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of WWE Predictions here at!

This Sunday is the final PPV stop on the road to WrestleMania, Fastlane!  As per usual these days, the company didn't bother to assemble a full lineup with only days to go, so I'll give you predictions on what I have.  Four of these matches should actually be good, the other two are stupid.

Drew McIntyre vs. Sheamus

These two had a pretty brutal No DQ match on RAW a few weeks back, so of course the follow-up is a regular match.  Uhhh, ok.  Anyway, this should be stiff and gritty, and will be Drew's last roadblock on his way to challenging Bobby Lashley for the WWE Title.  

Pick: Drew, obviously

Intercontinental Championship: Big E vs. Apollo Crews

This should also be a solid outing.  Both guys are powerhouses with tremendous agility.  It's nice that Crews is finally doing something after all these years.  I'm picking E to retain though.

Pick: Big E retains

Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon

Why the fuck are any McMahons still wrestling on PPV in 2021?  Stop.  Just stop.  The McMahons stopped being relevant as on-air characters roughly a decade ago.  Enough already with this shit.  How sad must it be for the former unstoppable monster Strowman to have to make it look like Shane would give him trouble in a fight?

Pick: Strowman I would hope

Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss

Oh, this insipid Orton-Fiend feud is still going on?  Fuuuuuck.  Obviously they're building to an Orton-Fiend match at Mania, to which I say, "Who the fuck wants to see that?"  Remember four years ago when they had the worst feud ever, over the WWE Title no less?  This match is pure drivel.

Pick: I guess Orton wins to set up the Mania match?

Women's Tag Team Championship: Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair

The babyface team already lost to the champs last month, so I'm not sure why they're getting another crack.  Probably because the genuises in charge forgot to actually have them turn on each other to set up their Mania match?  Anyway, the previous incarnation of this match was quite good until the dumb finish.  Hopefully this will be just as good but have a good ending.

Pick: The champs retain

Universal Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Fuckin' FINALLY these two are fighting.  Remember in the summer of 2019 when they built up a Roman-Bryan feud only to not ever deliver on it?  Good times.  Anyway, the buildup to this match was quite idiotic too - Bryan was offered the chance to team with Edge against Roman and Jey Uso, and chose instead to face Jey in a singles match where if he won he'd get a title shot.  And then the announcers and Edge were all like, "Why would you wanna do that??"  Because apparently the announcers and Edge are morons.  And then Edge was like "I resent you for trying to win the belt a month before my turn to try and win the belt," forgetting of course that this sort of thing happens literally EVERY YEAR.  The Rumble winner gets a shot at WrestleMania, but there's always at least one, sometimes two PPVs in between where the champ defends his title against someone else.  So Edge is apparently doubly stupid.  Makes you really want to root for him at WrestleMania, doesn't it?  Anywho, I'm hoping this ends in some way where Bryan can claim he deserves to be added to Roman vs. Edge.  Otherwise what's Bryan doing at WrestleMania this year?

Pick: Roman retains I'm sure

So most of this show looks good on paper, that's more than I can say for most WWE PPVs nowadays.  I'm sure I'll enjoy the main event at least....

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