Welcome to another edition of One-on-One, where my friend Jim Fitch and I discuss something related to the wacky world of pro wrestling!
Continuing with the Top Five theme from last time, we'll each be giving our picks for the Top Five Talkers in Wrestling History.
Since I got the last word in the previous edition, I'll be going first this time. Here we go....
First, let me start off by saying this was a really difficult category to narrow down to five people. So many figures in the wrestling business have made such amazing careers out of being able to communicate and draw in the audience with a simple collection of words. The "gift of gab" is unfortunately something I was not really blessed with. I'm much better at communicating via the written word, where I can think about things ahead of time and carefully craft what I want to say. The ability to captivate a person or a whole group of people by speaking on the fly is a truly remarkable thing to me. I wish I were good at it.
In the wrestling business, being able to cut a good promo is just as important (and often moreso) as being able to wrestle. Think of how much less success Hulk Hogan would've enjoyed had he possessed the speaking ability of say Jack Swagger. He would've been a midcarder at best. But fortunately for Hogan he was charismatic and could skillfully get across his character, and we all bought into it.
Cutting a promo in 2014 is sadly a bit of a lost art, as in WWE most promos are tightly scripted by a team of mediocre-at-best writers who clearly don't know the wrestlers' characters as well as the wrestlers do themselves. Imagine if Steve Austin or The Rock had been forced to adhere to scripts. There would be no "Austin 3:16," no "If ya smell what The Rock is cookin'." I long for the days when the talent will be given the chance to write their own promos again.
Anyway, just a handful of names who didn't quite make the cut include CM Punk, Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper, Shawn Michaels, Jesse Ventura, Jim Cornette, Bobby Heenan, Arn Anderson, Chris Jericho, and possibly shocking to all of you reading this, The Rock.
I'm not including Rock in my top five and here's why. The Rock is an absolutely amazing talker and has coined more catchphrases than anyone in the business, but then he got in the habit of simply regurgitating them to the point of absurdity and after a few years stopped innovating. Where he falls short for me is that he didn't change up his promos to suit each feud. He would just do paint-by-numbers promos and rattle off the same jokes to every guy he sparred with.
Furthermore The Rock set the terrible precedent of babyfaces who were "too cool" to let the heels get under their skin. And if the heel doesn't get under the babyface's skin, why are we paying to see the babyface beat up the heel? John Cena and Sheamus are less than universally over, precisely because they've used Rock's promo style as a model (The difference between those two and Rocky, is that Rocky was so good at that schtick that he made it work). Steve Austin on the other hand, while also using catchphrases, made it clear the heel DID get under his skin. What his promos usually boiled down to was, "look, this is all a moot point cuz this Sunday when we get in the ring I'm gonna kick the shit out of you anyway," and then he did just that. So I'm sorry Dwayne, you are cut.
But enough of my pontificating, here's the top five.
Showing posts with label One-on-One With the Bald One. Show all posts
Showing posts with label One-on-One With the Bald One. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2016
Monday, June 13, 2016
One-on-One: Top Five Tag Teams of All Time
Welcome to another edition of One-on-One!
Today the topic is the Top Five Greatest Tag Teams of all time. For this edition my NXT-obsessed colleague Landon Wayne will be joining me to give his picks. But first, mine....
Justin: As with great singles wrestlers, for me a great tag team has to be the perfect combination of several attributes - workrate, presence, chemistry both with each other and with a variety of opponents, a long-term commitment to the tag team division, and the ability to draw just as well as the singles guys. These days tag team wrestling is unfortunately nowhere near the art form it used to be. While WWE has recently put more of a focus on the tag division than they had in several years, gone are the days of 8-10 full-time tag teams being featured on television, all vying for those elusive straps. Invariably you can gauge the overall commercial success of the major North American wrestling promotions by looking at the strength of their tag team divisions. During the 80s boom period, both the WWF and NWA had deep tag rosters; in the WWF's case, enough for a 20-man Tag Team Elimination match at the first two Survivor Series PPVs. Then in the early 90s most of the good duos either left or split up, resulting in an anemic division, and coincidentally the company's revenue dropped sharply. Are these two things related? I dunno. But during the wildly successful Attitude era the tag division flourished once again, only to become virtually non-existent from 2004 until 2012.
I miss the days when the World Tag Team Championship was treated as just a notch below the World Title. For tag team wrestlers it was the highest accolade they could hope to receive, short of splitting up with their tag partner and going alone. Many teams back in the day had no interest in singles success - their purpose in the business was to be the world's best team. In some cases one member of a team just wasn't the same without the other. Try to imagine Smash from Demolition as a singles star. It doesn't work - the magic came when he and Ax appeared together. Pairings like that tended to make the best teams, though obviously there have been exceptions. But regardless, great tag teams have always been one of the major attractions on the card, and when presented properly a Tag Title Match can be the main event of the show any day of the week.
My top five tag teams all have some things in common - they all had undeniable chemistry as partners, they could all work a show-stealing match, they all reached the pinnacle of at least one major tag team division, and they were all major box office attractions.
Anderson & Blanchard were one of those teams that as a kid I absolutely HATED. They weren't flashy, they didn't look like movie stars or superheroes, and onscreen they were great big a-holes. But when they were in the ring I wanted to see them get beat up, and that's the mark of a great heel duo. I actually resented the fact that they were the top team in the company. It was fitting that they were part of Ric Flair's stable, because like Flair they didn't appear to be the toughest team and their moveset didn't feature any fancy crowd-pleasing maneuvers. Instead their deal was great wrestling matches full of psychology where they made their opponents look amazing and still managed to squeak by with a cheap, heat-magnifying win. In other words they were the quintessential heel tag team. Their extensive resume included fantastic matches with power-centric teams like The Road Warriors and Demolition, aerial teams like The Rock n' Roll Express and The Rockers, or equally well-rounded teams like The Hart Foundation. Arn and Tully were one of those teams that would absolutely crush it no matter who you put 'em in there with. And on top of everything, both guys could cut killer promos. Ric Flair may have been the leader of The Four Horsemen, but Arn & Tully were the backbone.
Matt & Jeff Hardy are probably the antithesis of Anderson & Blanchard. The Hardys built their reputation on flashy, dangerous, high-impact spot wrestling, and along with Edge & Christian and The Dudley Boyz, reinvented the Ladder Match for the new millennium. Matt and Jeff started out as WWF jobbers who just happened to take a beating better than anyone else on TV. In 1998 I can recall being excited any time one of the featured tag teams would be facing the Hardys in a squash match, because it meant one of the most entertaining squashes I'd ever see. Eventually the Hardys developed such a following they were repackaged as a real, full-time tag team on the main roster. With their Hot Topic-inspired wardrobe and innovative combination moves, they evolved into the 2000s version of The Rock n' Roll Express or The Rockers - two undersized babyfaces who bumped and sold like crazy, and whose offense consisted of wild aerial tactics. Eventually they became the team you knew would push the envelope every night, in terms of what crazy risks they were willing to take (Jeff especially). These days such dangerous spots can no longer be performed, but at the height of the Attitude Era The Hardy Boyz became one of the WWF's premier attractions, and are now regarded as one of the most exciting teams of all time.
Today the topic is the Top Five Greatest Tag Teams of all time. For this edition my NXT-obsessed colleague Landon Wayne will be joining me to give his picks. But first, mine....
Justin: As with great singles wrestlers, for me a great tag team has to be the perfect combination of several attributes - workrate, presence, chemistry both with each other and with a variety of opponents, a long-term commitment to the tag team division, and the ability to draw just as well as the singles guys. These days tag team wrestling is unfortunately nowhere near the art form it used to be. While WWE has recently put more of a focus on the tag division than they had in several years, gone are the days of 8-10 full-time tag teams being featured on television, all vying for those elusive straps. Invariably you can gauge the overall commercial success of the major North American wrestling promotions by looking at the strength of their tag team divisions. During the 80s boom period, both the WWF and NWA had deep tag rosters; in the WWF's case, enough for a 20-man Tag Team Elimination match at the first two Survivor Series PPVs. Then in the early 90s most of the good duos either left or split up, resulting in an anemic division, and coincidentally the company's revenue dropped sharply. Are these two things related? I dunno. But during the wildly successful Attitude era the tag division flourished once again, only to become virtually non-existent from 2004 until 2012.
I miss the days when the World Tag Team Championship was treated as just a notch below the World Title. For tag team wrestlers it was the highest accolade they could hope to receive, short of splitting up with their tag partner and going alone. Many teams back in the day had no interest in singles success - their purpose in the business was to be the world's best team. In some cases one member of a team just wasn't the same without the other. Try to imagine Smash from Demolition as a singles star. It doesn't work - the magic came when he and Ax appeared together. Pairings like that tended to make the best teams, though obviously there have been exceptions. But regardless, great tag teams have always been one of the major attractions on the card, and when presented properly a Tag Title Match can be the main event of the show any day of the week.
My top five tag teams all have some things in common - they all had undeniable chemistry as partners, they could all work a show-stealing match, they all reached the pinnacle of at least one major tag team division, and they were all major box office attractions.
5. Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard
Anderson & Blanchard were one of those teams that as a kid I absolutely HATED. They weren't flashy, they didn't look like movie stars or superheroes, and onscreen they were great big a-holes. But when they were in the ring I wanted to see them get beat up, and that's the mark of a great heel duo. I actually resented the fact that they were the top team in the company. It was fitting that they were part of Ric Flair's stable, because like Flair they didn't appear to be the toughest team and their moveset didn't feature any fancy crowd-pleasing maneuvers. Instead their deal was great wrestling matches full of psychology where they made their opponents look amazing and still managed to squeak by with a cheap, heat-magnifying win. In other words they were the quintessential heel tag team. Their extensive resume included fantastic matches with power-centric teams like The Road Warriors and Demolition, aerial teams like The Rock n' Roll Express and The Rockers, or equally well-rounded teams like The Hart Foundation. Arn and Tully were one of those teams that would absolutely crush it no matter who you put 'em in there with. And on top of everything, both guys could cut killer promos. Ric Flair may have been the leader of The Four Horsemen, but Arn & Tully were the backbone.
4. The Hardy Boyz
Matt & Jeff Hardy are probably the antithesis of Anderson & Blanchard. The Hardys built their reputation on flashy, dangerous, high-impact spot wrestling, and along with Edge & Christian and The Dudley Boyz, reinvented the Ladder Match for the new millennium. Matt and Jeff started out as WWF jobbers who just happened to take a beating better than anyone else on TV. In 1998 I can recall being excited any time one of the featured tag teams would be facing the Hardys in a squash match, because it meant one of the most entertaining squashes I'd ever see. Eventually the Hardys developed such a following they were repackaged as a real, full-time tag team on the main roster. With their Hot Topic-inspired wardrobe and innovative combination moves, they evolved into the 2000s version of The Rock n' Roll Express or The Rockers - two undersized babyfaces who bumped and sold like crazy, and whose offense consisted of wild aerial tactics. Eventually they became the team you knew would push the envelope every night, in terms of what crazy risks they were willing to take (Jeff especially). These days such dangerous spots can no longer be performed, but at the height of the Attitude Era The Hardy Boyz became one of the WWF's premier attractions, and are now regarded as one of the most exciting teams of all time.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
One-on-One: Top Five Favorite Wrestlers of All-Time
Welcome to the second edition of One-on-One! Tonight my friend Jim and I discuss our top five favorite wrestlers of all time and why. I'll let Jim go first cuz I like to get in the last word. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jim: What I like most in a wrestler is in-ring performance, and what I like most in a wrestler’s in-ring performance is, generally speaking, violent and realistic-looking offence (pardon the “C”: I’m Canadian). To me the ultimate offensive moves look abjectly vicious, but on analysis cannot possibly be so: think of Jerry Lawler’s punches, or of Edge’s Downward Spiral. At first glance you’re thinking “holy shit that guy’s DEAD”, and after a sober second look you’re even more impressed as a fan because clearly the receiver is going to be just fine fifteen minutes from now. As he or she ought to be.
So it will come as no surprise that my “top five” professional wrestlers have or had an offensive move set that made them look, in one way or another, crisp, rugged, violent … dangerous as hell. And that includes my number one choice, who to the uninitiated might appear, in the words of Eddie Ellner (both a real person and a big fan of my number one, btw), “a little soft”.
Aja Kong is generally considered to be the nastiest of the AJPW classic era Big Six, and that’s not hard to understand. Bull Nakano is generally considered the scariest, and that’s not hard to understand. But watch Kansai throw a simple front kick. Or a Stu Hart uppercut. Or the “Burst of Dynamite” running knee thrust. Then shudder remotely from the pain through the screen. Then watch it again. Kyoko Inoue’s going to be okay. Maybe she’ll need a little ice, but she’ll be fine. As I said, collectively those two joint and beautiful realities are the sign of a true artist.
The “Intelligent Monster” made the fans run in the opposite direction. I still contend that “Immigrant Song” is the best entrance theme ever that wasn’t designed as an entrance theme, because when Plant wailed, you knew Brody’s hapless opponent was about to do a little wailing, too. Only Barry Darsow had a more painful-looking bodyslam. Only Curt Hennig and maybe Jumbo Tsuruta threw dropkicks that high, tight, crisp, dangerous. Only Jake Roberts could flash you as believeable a “you’d best stay back” look. Brody loved his wife. Brody loved his kids. God help you if Brody didn’t like you. And the only people Brody hurt were promoters – which is sad, because one of them got hurt so badly he killed him.
Jericho may be the only member of the Observer Hall of Fame to have never put an opponent in the hospital for anything other than observations. Think about that: you’d need some kind of harmonic convergence of skill, trustworthiness and plain dumb luck to perform that well for that long at such an elite level without a single hospital trip to your discredit. And damn does Y2J rock the whole game hard. He looks good in and out of the ring. If there’s ever been a wrestling “genius”, it’s probably Jericho. And he probably spells “offence” with a “C”, too, which is also pretty cool.
Jim: What I like most in a wrestler is in-ring performance, and what I like most in a wrestler’s in-ring performance is, generally speaking, violent and realistic-looking offence (pardon the “C”: I’m Canadian). To me the ultimate offensive moves look abjectly vicious, but on analysis cannot possibly be so: think of Jerry Lawler’s punches, or of Edge’s Downward Spiral. At first glance you’re thinking “holy shit that guy’s DEAD”, and after a sober second look you’re even more impressed as a fan because clearly the receiver is going to be just fine fifteen minutes from now. As he or she ought to be.
So it will come as no surprise that my “top five” professional wrestlers have or had an offensive move set that made them look, in one way or another, crisp, rugged, violent … dangerous as hell. And that includes my number one choice, who to the uninitiated might appear, in the words of Eddie Ellner (both a real person and a big fan of my number one, btw), “a little soft”.
5. Dynamite Kansai
Aja Kong is generally considered to be the nastiest of the AJPW classic era Big Six, and that’s not hard to understand. Bull Nakano is generally considered the scariest, and that’s not hard to understand. But watch Kansai throw a simple front kick. Or a Stu Hart uppercut. Or the “Burst of Dynamite” running knee thrust. Then shudder remotely from the pain through the screen. Then watch it again. Kyoko Inoue’s going to be okay. Maybe she’ll need a little ice, but she’ll be fine. As I said, collectively those two joint and beautiful realities are the sign of a true artist.
4. Bruiser Brody
The “Intelligent Monster” made the fans run in the opposite direction. I still contend that “Immigrant Song” is the best entrance theme ever that wasn’t designed as an entrance theme, because when Plant wailed, you knew Brody’s hapless opponent was about to do a little wailing, too. Only Barry Darsow had a more painful-looking bodyslam. Only Curt Hennig and maybe Jumbo Tsuruta threw dropkicks that high, tight, crisp, dangerous. Only Jake Roberts could flash you as believeable a “you’d best stay back” look. Brody loved his wife. Brody loved his kids. God help you if Brody didn’t like you. And the only people Brody hurt were promoters – which is sad, because one of them got hurt so badly he killed him.
3. Chris Jericho
Jericho may be the only member of the Observer Hall of Fame to have never put an opponent in the hospital for anything other than observations. Think about that: you’d need some kind of harmonic convergence of skill, trustworthiness and plain dumb luck to perform that well for that long at such an elite level without a single hospital trip to your discredit. And damn does Y2J rock the whole game hard. He looks good in and out of the ring. If there’s ever been a wrestling “genius”, it’s probably Jericho. And he probably spells “offence” with a “C”, too, which is also pretty cool.
Saturday, April 19, 2014
One-on-One: The Future Stars of WWE
Greetings everyone! Welcome to the newest Enuffa feature - One-on-One, where I'll pose a question to one of my wrestling pals and we'll each give our thoughts.
This week my friend Jim and I talk about who we think are the future stars of WWE. This year's post-'Mania RAW episode felt like a season premiere of sorts, with new stars debuting and young WWE talent being given the spotlight. We'll see where it goes from here, but as of now the WWE product feels fresher than it has in a long time (I'd liken it to 1998 when the Austin era began in earnest).
Question: In 5-10 years who do you see as the top 5-10 guys in WWE?
Jim: To me, the biggest star of the next ten years won’t be a person at all. For the second time, the real biggest star will be a place: the Performance Center at WWE Full Sail University, the home of NXT.
For years, the real biggest star in the world of professional wrestling was the NJPW dojo, in Sendai and later Tokyo. Look at the great performers who survived to conquer: Asai. Hashimoto. That-shithead-I-won’t-name-but-was-an-incredible-wrestler. Fujinami. Joe. Shamrock. Melissa. Liger. Too many stars to mention, really.
The thing that doesn’t get mentioned much about the New Japan dojo is its commitment to wrestler safety. You’ll get hurt there, sure. But graduate and you won’t get hurt much later, or hurt others much later. This is a very good thing.
Full Sail wants to be the NJPW dojo. And it’s already getting there. Look at the current training staff. Want to be a striker? Sara Del Rey! Want to be a power grappler? Nick Dinsmore! Want to be a technical wrestler? Ricky Steamboat! Want to cut a promo? Dusty Rhodes! Want to learn all of that stuff in a safe environment? Google “NXT mat”.
That place will make stars, hell it already has in the Wyatt Family in particular, and that makes the place a star.
If I have to pick someone currently there that’s a “lock” major star, I’ll say Paige. She’s gold, baby. But it’s the place.
This week my friend Jim and I talk about who we think are the future stars of WWE. This year's post-'Mania RAW episode felt like a season premiere of sorts, with new stars debuting and young WWE talent being given the spotlight. We'll see where it goes from here, but as of now the WWE product feels fresher than it has in a long time (I'd liken it to 1998 when the Austin era began in earnest).
Question: In 5-10 years who do you see as the top 5-10 guys in WWE?
Jim: To me, the biggest star of the next ten years won’t be a person at all. For the second time, the real biggest star will be a place: the Performance Center at WWE Full Sail University, the home of NXT.
For years, the real biggest star in the world of professional wrestling was the NJPW dojo, in Sendai and later Tokyo. Look at the great performers who survived to conquer: Asai. Hashimoto. That-shithead-I-won’t-name-but-was-an-incredible-wrestler. Fujinami. Joe. Shamrock. Melissa. Liger. Too many stars to mention, really.
The thing that doesn’t get mentioned much about the New Japan dojo is its commitment to wrestler safety. You’ll get hurt there, sure. But graduate and you won’t get hurt much later, or hurt others much later. This is a very good thing.
Full Sail wants to be the NJPW dojo. And it’s already getting there. Look at the current training staff. Want to be a striker? Sara Del Rey! Want to be a power grappler? Nick Dinsmore! Want to be a technical wrestler? Ricky Steamboat! Want to cut a promo? Dusty Rhodes! Want to learn all of that stuff in a safe environment? Google “NXT mat”.
That place will make stars, hell it already has in the Wyatt Family in particular, and that makes the place a star.
If I have to pick someone currently there that’s a “lock” major star, I’ll say Paige. She’s gold, baby. But it’s the place.
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