It's February and that means WWE is offering its annual Elimination Chamber PPV. Elimination Chamber incidentally is what I call my toilet. "Hold my calls, I'll be in the Elimination Chamber for the next 20-30 minutes."
Man has it been refreshing to watch WWE's own audience begin to turn on their product over social media, while behind the scenes Triple H and friends are scrambling to put together a WrestleMania lineup that will sell like the last three. They've even, shockingly, offered discounted tickets to try to close the 18% gap below the 'Mania 41 sales at this point on the calendar, to little avail at all. They're even cockblocking local Vegas venues from showing it on TV for their patrons to try and encourage said patrons to shell out hundreds of dollars for tickets instead. Talk about sad desperation. Turns out that when you put most of your eggs in the basket of a retiring 48-year-old for an entire year (and totally clusterfuck that run), your audience loses interest once he's actually gone. Who knew?
Anyway so far we have CM Punk vs. Roman Reigns as a confirmed WrestleMania main event, plus Stephanie Vaquer vs. Liv Morgan as the one confirmed Women's Title match, so this show will fill in two more slots on the card.
Let's take a look...
Women's Intercontinental Championship: Becky Lynch vs. AJ Lee
They're in Chicago so both Punk and AJ are featured heavily. Becky and AJ have wrestled each other in tag matches and have been feuding since September, but I believe this is the first one-on-one match of their feud. I haven't seen any of AJ's matches post-return since I don't have ESPN Unlimited and don't plan to get it. I assume this will be fine. Becky as a heel still doesn't work for me.
Pick: AJ wins the belt
Women's Elimination Chamber: Tiffany Stratton vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka vs. Kiana James vs. Raquel Rodriguez
The winner of this one gets Jade Cargill at 'Mania, in what is likely to be something of a stinker, given Jade's in-ring limitations (still). This match should be decent, given Rhea, Asuka and Tiffany's involvement. I guess Rhea probably wins it?
Pick: Rhea
World Championship: CM Punk vs. Finn Balor
Man, ten years ago this would've slapped. In 2026 with Punk's age and terrible cardio? Probably quite mediocre. Finn's obviously not winning the title here. Poor guy hasn't won the big match in....well, ten years.
Pick: Punk retains
Men's Elimination Chamber: Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton vs. LA Knight vs. Je'Von Evans vs. Trick Williams vs. Jey Uso
Wow, two black male wrestlers on a WWE PPV not named Royal Rumble? It's a damn miracle. This match will determine Drew McIntyre's challenger for 'Mania, after Roman and Punk buried him and his title on RAW a few weeks ago. Nice work guys. And then Cody responded with "My dick is so big people call me Raheem." Ya know, Cody, you have the clout to veto garbage material like this. Anyway, Cody's obviously facing Drew, either in a singles match or with Jacob Fatu in a three-way. This Chamber might be fine but there's zero suspense.
Pick: Cody
Another skimpy PPV lineup from a company that doesn't think they have to try anymore. Glad I ain't paying $30 for it....
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