It's three weeks after WWE WrestleMania, and that means it's time for WWE to experience the Backlash.....to making their audience pay $30 to sit through two nights of mostly ads and entrances. Hey those poor deprived TKO execs gotta line their already exploding pockets somehow, right?
Have you heard about this shit? WWE is forcing numerous wrestlers (New Day for example) to renegotiate their contracts, MID-CONTRACT, to take a pay cut, as walking trouser stains like Ari Emanuel and Nick Khan give themselves massive bonuses. Or as its technically known, literal wage theft. Man am I glad I stopped giving this shithole company any of my money. You know you're a wealth-hoarding scumbag when your talent relations practices actually make Vince McMahon look like a fair guy by comparison. Jesus fuck....
Anyway, we're back to the five-match PPV structure, because "We need to keep the shows shorter." Even though the five matches will total less than half the show's running time, plus we have to have John Cena "host" it again to try and make people care, since ticket sales are down again from last year's show. Say WWE, have you considered putting on a WRESTLING show?
A few of these matches actually have some promise at least (though one of them is a pointless comedy segment), and one of them was inexcusably left off the biggest card of the year, TO MAKE ROOM FOR MORE ADS. WWE fans, how are you not demanding more for your dollar? It's been speculated that Cody vs. Gunther for the WWE Title will be added, but it sure seems a weird move to tack on a main event match two days before the show. More likely it'll be on Saturday Night's Main Event in two weeks.
This company is flailing like my dog when we try to wash him.
Let's get to the lineup....
Danhausen & TBA vs. The Miz & Kit Wilson
If they'd booked a proper PPV lineup of 7-9 matches then it wouldn't be a big deal for this to be included. But on a five-match show that has a host of important names missing, not to mention zero women's title matches, why is this taking up a slot? Danhausen and whoever his partner is (I suspect it might be Powerhouse Hobbs, though Vegas odds right now favor CM Punk - in what universe would they book the guy who just main evented WrestleMania to be a surprise tag partner in a comedy tag match?). This will be pure filler.
Pick: Teamhausen
US Championship: Trick Williams vs. Sami Zayn
Hey, maybe these two will get more than seven minutes this time, hmmm? They were on their way to a good match at 'Mania but it had been over fifteen minutes since we'd seen a Hulk Hogan documentary ad. You understand. Anyway, this should actually be good this time. Trick just won the title three weeks ago so I'll go with him to keep it.
Pick: Trick retains
IYO Sky vs. Asuka
So not only did the company fuck these two out of what would've likely stolen the show at 'Mania, then they released Kairi Sane, mid-storyline. I've said it before - WWE could fuck up an open-book spelling bee. This match should be great as long as they get adequate time and there's no dumbass overbooking. Let them wrestle and they'll have the match of the night.
Pick: IYO
Seth Rollins vs. Bron Breakker
This should also be really good. Seth always has his working boots on and Bron is far and away the most exciting young male star they have. I think Seth will once again be looking up at the lights in the end since there will almost certainly be rematches.
Pick: Bron
World Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Jacob Fatu
Holy lord, Roman Reigns is wrestling twice within three weeks?? Remarkable. Roman proved last month he can actually still go when he's not phoning it in, so hopefully that will continue through this title run. Jacob Fatu is a fine worker with an explosive style, who should be able to help ensure this isn't a 2023 Roman snoozefest. But Roman's obviously keeping the title for a while. Probably a very, very, very long while.
Pick: Roman retains
So yeah, another half-assed PPV lineup from a company charging more and more and delivering less and less (and taking money out of the talents' pockets to boot), but four of these should be good at least.
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