Friday, April 24, 2015

WWE Extreme Rules 2015 Predictions!!!

Welcome to another round of official WWE PPV predictions here at Enuffa.com!

This month it's the annual followup to WrestleMania, WWE Extreme Rules, where the gimmick match is king!  Not to be confused with TLC (and Stairs), where the gimmick match is.....queen, I guess?




The WWE product was hot coming out of WrestleMania once again, with new heel Champion Seth Rollins pulling off "The heist of the century," Daniel Bryan and John Cena capturing the secondary belts, and Roman Reigns being positioned for a slow rebuild.  Things looked very promising immediately following 'Mania but as usual Creative has settled into the standard procedure of going through the motions.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

WWE vs. NJPW Supercard

Welcome to very special WWE vs. NJPW column, here at Enuffa.com!


Today I'll be discussing something we as wrestling fans haven't really had the opportunity to ponder in a long time - the interpromotional dream match.  Back in the olden days, ya know when there were two major North American wrestling companies, we could pontificate and debate who would win various fantasy matchups.  In the 80s it was matches like Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair, Ultimate Warrior vs. Sting, Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger.  In the 90s it was Steve Austin vs. Goldberg, The Rock vs. Booker T, etc.  Then the Monday Night War changed everything, as wrestling stars jumped back and forth between companies and some of the big dream matches actually came to fruition.  In 2001 Vince McMahon bought WCW and eventually signed all their top stars, and even more of these types of matches happened.  While it was a great time to see top bouts we could previously only fantasize about, an unfortunate side effect was that many major PPVs were now built around one-time dream matches that served no long-term purpose, thus hurting the drawing power of the full-time roster.  Not to mention some things are just better left to the imagination (**ahem** Sting vs. Triple H).

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Awesomely Shitty Movies: Dune

Good day and welcome to a new series here at Enuffa.com, Awesomely Shitty Movies!  Each installment will focus on a film that, despite considerable and crippling flaws, I can't help but like or even love.  These flaws could be with the script, the acting, the special effects, the cinematography, or all of the above, but in each case the movie has something going for it and I'm inexplicably fascinated by it, despite its ineptitude.

The first movie I'll be tackling is David Lynch's commercially and critically reviled adaptation of Frank Herbert's classic sci-fi novel Dune

DUNE (1984)

I was nine years old when this movie was released, and being a huge fan of Star Wars and Star Trek, I was immediately drawn in by the promise of sci-fi adventure.  In some ways the story of Dune resembled Star Wars (or really the reverse is true since the book was published 12 years before Star Wars was released) - a young hero with budding supernatural powers, a desert planet, laser guns, weird creatures, etc.  What I got though was a horribly confusing mish-mash of geo-political, religious and sci-fi themes overrun with baffling inner monologue narration and overly bizarre and gross-looking characters.

To be fair to Mr. Lynch, the studio interfered greatly during post-production and the theatrical cut was very different from what he intended.  Unfortunately he has all but disowned this film and has no interest in releasing a Director's Cut, which might actually make the story easier to follow.  There is a 3-hour version of the film available but Lynch had no hand in it, and from what I understand it actually confuses things even more.

Dune was originally supposed to be adapted into a film in the mid 70s, with famed Alien artist H.R. Giger attached as a production designer.  That incarnation went over-budget and never saw the light of day, and eventually in the 80s producer Dino DiLaurentiis acquired the project and David Lynch ended up in the Director's chair.

Anyway let's examine what's awesome about this movie, and then we'll talk about what's shitty.


Friday, April 3, 2015

Dumb Action Movie Reviews: A New, Exciting Robocop for Our Time!!!


Welcome to another installment of Dumb Action Movie Reviews here at Enuffa.com, wherein I, Daniel Moore, traverse the cinematic wonderland that is Netflix, YouTube and various other websites looking for action movies removed from the mainstream that probably stink. The ratings are based on 1-4 Indiana Jones whips, as he's the premier action movie character ever and the whip is AWESOME.



********WARNING, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS********

This week I watched the new Robocop remake from 2014, directed by José Padilha. It’s a remake of the 1987 CLASSIC of the same name and stars Joel Kinnaman in the title role, with Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jackie Earle Haley. This review will not be a bellyaching, crybaby parable about how the original flick was perfect and there was no need for a remake. Let’s be realistic, people. Hollywood is a remake and sequel factory now. We all hafta get used to the fact that movies we loved that came out years ago are going to be redone to varying degrees of success and scorn (Can’t wait for ‘Citizen Kane’ starring the Biebs). No one’s raping your childhood, no one’s doing this to ruin the movies that came before. They are doing this for money, and that is the American way. Get used to it.

With that outta the way, this new Robocop is a slickly made, forgettable, loud affair. The plot mirrors the original film - Alex Murphy (Kinnaman) is a cop gunned down by criminals and reanimated as Robocop, Detroit’s last hope for justice.

Kinnaman is cast perfectly as the robotic supercop. He’s a fine Swedish actor you may recognize as the best part of the increasingly frustrating and implausible program “The Killing”. And the updated Robocop suit actually looks quite cool in the original silver and blue model.

BOSS.

But there are a myriad of problems with this film. The supporting cast is fucking USELESS. There was no reason to cast brilliant, Academy Award nominated actors such as Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Samuel L. Jackson, and Jackie Earle Haley. They do next to nothing in this film, and Jackson, playing some sort of television talking head with a political show, is one of the most annoying film characters mine eyes have ever seen. Just awful.

The villains in this movie are not at all memorable. I have no idea what any of their names were, and I just watched the thing! In the original, Clarence Boddiker and his gang were fucking vile, GREAT cartoonish villains. Goddamn frightening at times. And Dick Jones, the evil OCP executive was spot on. The gang of vermin in this film are all cookie cutter bad guys who aren’t even threatening. Hell, they bump off the boss of the gang with about 45 minutes left, which then forces the script to turn Michael Keaton (up to this point just a normal businessman doing by the book business things) into the main bad guy. For basically no reason at all, Batman all of a sudden wants to kill Robocop. It makes zero sense.

Another issue I had was the over-humanization of Robo. They really add a lot more family crap than is needed. There are like eight scenes of Murphy’s wife crying over him and letting him know his son needs him. WE GET IT. It completely halts the action to a standstill and isn’t really necessary.

One more thing that bugged me; when they upgrade his new suit to the more ‘tactical’ black outfit, it looks like a poor man’s version of Iron Man. He doesn’t look like a robot anymore, he looks like a dude in a suit doing superheroey things. It destroys the illusion of his cyborg body.

Black pajamas.

Finally, I do hafta compare this film to the original.  This one tries to ground itself in reality, explaining the science, the real world implications of a robotic cop, etc., and it’s just boring and pointless. Part of the charm of the original is the fantastical, futuristic world that is presented. There’s no reason to take the 1987 film seriously because it doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s a great action movie, but look closer and you realize it’s a parody of the action genre. It’s a brilliant piece of moviemaking. This new version is filled with special effects, filled with jump cuts of Robo shooting down other evil robots, filled with dull sequences dealing with his family, dealing with doctors, and being sad. It’s no fun. It’s a mishmash of special effects and fake sentiment.

I wouldn’t watch this movie again. It’s a shame to waste Kinnaman in this bland action flick. Hopefully he gets to sink his teeth into a better movie next time around because he’s a real talent.

This movie gets ONE WHIP