We're just a couple days away from AEW's latest PPV-quality free TV show, Grand Slam Australia 2026!
Holy shitballs, this lineup. Last year's GSA was an excellent show but it wasn't stacked like this one. AEW Title match, Continental Title match, TNT Title match, Women's Tag Title match, #1 Contender's match, Hair vs. Hair match. This thing is more loaded than Trump's diaper. Speaking of that turd, apparently WBD executives shied away from featuring anything having to with Brody King on this week's Dynamite, lest the crowd once again chant "Fuck ICE" (which they did a little bit anyway). Considering that moment got mainstream news coverage for Dynamite, why would you avoid more of that? Lean into it, you pussies, it's getting more eyes on one of your primetime shows, including people who have never heard of AEW. A sitting US Senator tweeted that Bad Bunny should jump from WWE to AEW (which I happen to agree with; why would you ever still support WWE at this point if you're Bad Bunny?). Business executives are so terrified of this president they'll hurt their own bottom line over it.
Anyway enough of that shit, let's talk about this lineup. This is Clash of the Champions 1 quality stuff.
Hair vs. Hair: Toni Storm & Orange Cassidy vs. Marina Shafir & Wheeler Yuta
Toni and OC have incredible chemistry together and I love that they're running with what was supposed to just be a one-off pairing. Great things have historically happened in wrestling based on unexpected hits, and it's always nice to see a promotion pay attention to that. The build for this has been quite enjoyable, with both Toni and OC expressing some buyer's remorse about the possibility they could lose their prized locks. But of course all signs point to Wheeler getting the shave, and there's no better chickenshit heel to fill that role. The crowd will go bananas when the Death Riders' answer to Tully Blanchard gets humiliated.
Pick: Toni and Orange
Women's Tag Team Championship: Babes of Wrath vs. MegaBad
Not crazy about MegaBad as the team name for Bayne and Ford but whatever. Their eliminator match last week on Dynamite was ok, this one should be better, in front of Harley Cameron's home market. Bayne and Willow should have some fun exchanges, and Harley is brilliant at working the crowd.
Pick: Champs retain
TNT Championship Ladder Match: Kyle Fletcher vs. Mark Briscoe
We took a weird route to get back here from the match at Full Gear where Briscoe won the TNT Title. Ex-WWE star Tommaso Ciampa unseated Briscoe in his AEW debut, and then eleven days later Fletcher regained the title from Ciampa in an absolute banger. But we're closing the book on this feud with their seventh and final match, this time involving a ladder. This should be both spectacular and terrifying. Kyle's obviously retaining and at 26 years old he's already had two career-defining feuds in AEW, one against Will Ospreay, the other against Briscoe.
Pick: Kyle retains
Continental Championship: Jon Moxley vs. Konosuke Takeshita
Another rematch in a great series, Mox and Takeshita are always great together. I still find it odd that the Death Riders are babyfaces in their feud with the Don Callis Family but heels everywhere else on the card. Meanwhile Takeshita is a heel in a heel stable but against his stablemate Okada he's a babyface. Weird dynamics. I wonder if KT ends up leaving Callis for the Death Riders. Anyway I expect Mox will retain and Okada will get involved after the match in some way since everyone is banned from ringside.
Pick: Mox retains
#1 Contender's Match: Hangman Page vs. Andrade El Idolo
Man, if you had told me even a few months ago that Andrade would be not only turning in some of the best matches in the company, but would also be on his way to becoming one of its hottest stars, I'd have kicked you square in the nuts. This is a totally different man than the Andrade who left for WWE at the end of 2023. He is now fully committed to being a great asset for AEW and the crowd is responding in kind. This is the match I'm the least sure about. Obviously Page challenging MJF at the PPV is the safe bet; you want to draw a buyrate after all. MJF vs. Andrade would a) involve an unproven commodity main eventing a PPV and b) be a heel vs. heel match technically. But it would also shake things up and capitalize on Andrade's growing fandom. I could actually see this going to a draw somehow, necessitating a triple threat at Revolution. But if this match does have a finish I think Hangman probably wins. Andrade's just gotten wins over Swerve and Kenny, so it won't hurt him to lose here.
Pick: Hangman (or a draw)
AEW World Championship: MJF vs. Brody King
Booking Brody to get a surprise two-minute win over the champ last week was the perfect choice. Brody's been heretofore a tag team and midcard guy, so he needed something to convince at least some of the viewers that he might pull off the big upset here. I know he's not winning the title but I hope they continue to push him as a major player and don't cave to the political bullshit of "Oh we don't want the crowd saying mean things about ICE." Fuck ICE, now and forever. Brody is a potential breakout star, the rebellious punk-rock iconoclast CM Punk only pretends to be. Keep treating him as such, regardless of this match result.
Pick: MJF retains
Now the question becomes, how do I convince my wife to let me watch this live on Valentine's Day? Dammit Tony!







No comments:
Post a Comment