Howdy all, Dan Moore here. I'm a huge fan of Game of Thrones, as most people nowadays are. I've also only watched the TV show, so if you're one of those book know-it-alls, BEAT IT. I like when my imagination is shown to me, so screw you.
Anyways, this weeks episode was INSANE. The first 40 minutes were quite good, moving along the various plots of Westeros. Arya continues her training in the House of Black & White. Sansa has learned from the artist formerly known as Theon that her brothers are, in fact, alive. Tyrion has finally had his meeting with the Khaleesi, and these two put on a fine back and forth to see if they can work together to possibly bring peace to the Five Kingdoms.
But FUCK ALL THAT. Ice Zombie War!!! Holy SHIT that was awesome.
Jon Snow heads to the Wildling encampment with head ginger in charge Tormund Giantsbane to convince the rest of the flea carriers north of the wall to come fight with the Night's Watch. Fight whom? The White Walkers of course, who have been making slow, PAINFULLY slow progress towards civilization since the first goddamn scene in the first goddamn episode four goddamn years ago. Turtles screw faster than white walkers travel.
Mr. Snow and Mr. Giantsbane make some progress, convincing a few clans to join up (except for those stupid Thenns. Idiots). I assumed the rest of this episode was going to show the conflicts between these clans and how they could resolve it with violence or peace. But HBO had other ideas.
|Anyone order a cold army of the undead?|
The White Walkers decided to leave behind their Night of the Living Dead zombie walking pace and amp up to 28 Days Later zombie sprinting. The attacked the FUCK out of the Wildlings, the Crows, Thenns, Smurfs, Hobbits and any other mythical creature clans that stood in the way. And they were vicious in their attack. It was a battle scene just as good as the Battle of Blackwater Bay and last season's Battle at Castle Black. The White Walkers were unrelenting in their attacks, knowing full well all the free folk they defeated would shortly be part of their troops.
It was quite a spectacle. We learned that Valeryian steel is just as lethal to the whites as dragon glass when Jon obliterates one of the head walkers with his sword, Longclaw. We also saw the leader of the White Walkers, the Night's King (pictured above) act totally badass when he walked out on the docks, looked at Jon as he was escaping, and raise all the dead they just killed. A total 'Eat a dick, dude' move by the King there. 'Hey, NBD, you wanna leave, no problem. All your dead are belong to us'.
A tremendous episode all in all. Incredible acting all around, especially the Tyrion/Daenerys scene. The action scenes were directed perfectly. None of that confusing jump cut edit bullshit. Straight on shots where you could actually see the fighting take place. I loved it. Probably my second-favorite episode of the series (behind the Castle Black ep). I would give this episode:
|FOUR OUT OF FOUR SEVERED NED'S HEADS|