Yeah, WWE actually wants to convince us that Randy Orton vs. Edge is going to be better than Flair-Steamboat, Okada-Omega, Angle-Benoit, Bret-Owen, HBK-Taker, and all the other classic bouts this won't come close to touching. I can't recall a more desperate marketing gimmick from this promotion. On top of that, look how poorly received the previous Edge-Orton match was. I went easy on it, but it was overly long, dull, plodding, and contained one of the WWE's most offensive moments, when they did a weight machine spot that echoed Chris Benoit's suicide. What's also hilarious is that WWE just had the finals of their Intercontinental Title tournament, a Daniel Bryan-AJ Styles epic that is being called one of the best free TV matches in years. Why didn't it get saved for the PPV two days later? Gee, I wonder.... Could it be so that it wouldn't easily overshadow the match they're trying to pass off as an all-time classic? Eff this company. Let's pick the winners.
Women's Tag Team Championship: Bayley & Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross vs. The IIconics
Jeezus this is weak. Is this literally all that's left of the Women's Tag division? Bayley and Sasha, and two other teams? Might be time to beef up the division guys. Bayley and Sasha just won these, so they shouldn't lose them yet. Why are the IIconics still a thing?
Pick: Bayley & Sasha retain
US Championship: Apollo Crews vs. Andrade
These midcard titles have just been jumping around like crazy this year. It's hard to even keep track of them now. Crews just won his first WWE piece of gold, so he oughta keep it too. The match itself should be solid.
Pick: Apollo retains
Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Boy do I not care about this. Yay, let's exploit Jeff's substance abuse issues yet again. That always works out well, doesn't it? The match should be alright but I've been pretty over Jeff for years now.
Pick: Sheamus I guess?
RAW Women's Championship: Asuka vs. Nia Jax
Oh good, Nia can injure someone again. Seriously, why hasn't she been sent back to NXT to work on not hurting people? It's not like she's a big ratings draw or anything. Get her the additional training she so desperately needs. Asuka's at the beginning of her new title reign so I can't see her losing here. The match could be ok, they had a decent bout in NXT years ago.
Pick: Asuka retains
Universal Championship: Braun Strowman vs. The Miz & John Morrison
Uhh, why? Who did Miz & Morrison beat to earn a title shot here? I know I haven't been paying much attention but this seems nonsensical. This is gonna suck. Obviously Braun's keeping his title.
Pick: Braun retains
WWE Championship: Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley
Another weak-ass pairing. This match belongs on free television, not on a PPV. Lashley is okay but hardly a credible threat to the new face of the company. Can we get Drew a slate of compelling challengers?
Pick: Drew retains
Edge vs. Randy Orton
I wonder how long they get for this. Their 'Mania match went 36 minutes and the idea is to top that. So WWE is probably going about 40 here. Forty minutes of Randy Orton in 2020? Fuckin' hell. With all due respect, neither Orton nor Edge has ever come close to the greatest wrestling match ever. I dunno who WWE thinks they're fooling.
Pick: Edge won at 'Mania so I'll go with Randy here
Yikes, this is a pitiful lineup. Feels like a RAW episode. Someone let me know if it turns out any good.
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