Wednesday, August 27, 2025

WWE Clash in Paris Preview & Predictions

It's the end of an era once again in WWE, as this Saturday marks the final PPV to air on Peacock.  Yes, the ESPN+ deal is kicking off four months early due to ESPN reeeeellly wanting something big to offer during their launch.  And what better way to ring down the curtain on the Peacock-WWE era than a half-assed five-match show where their top champion is absent?


Saturday is WWE Clash in Paris, and once again the company has assembled a largely skippable show featuring mostly 40-plussers.  I'm not sure there's been a PPV field as old as this one since the men's Royal Rumble 2021 where the median age was 39 and a 47-year-old won the whole thing.  There are twelve wrestlers featured on this card and only four of them are under forty.  And aside from thirty-year-old Logan Paul, the remaining three are 37, 38 and 39.  Keep in mind the massive main event they have planned for Wrestlepalooza next month (Why are they recycling an ECW name of all things?) to go head to head with AEW's All Out features two 48-year-olds.  Man does WWE hate elevating young people again.  

There was supposed to be a Naomi-Stephanie Vaquer match for the women's title but Naomi had to vacate the belt after discovering she was pregnant, and the match was scrapped.  Given that they cut the match entirely rather than pit Stephanie against someone else for the vacant title I seriously doubt she was slated to beat Naomi. 

Oh by the way, zero black wrestlers on this show, for the second time on a main roster PPV in 2025, keeping pace with 2024.  

Side note: The poster for this PARIS-based show is a reference to The Starry Night by DUTCH painter Vincent Van Gogh, and the subject of said painting is the view from his St. Remy-de-Provence asylum window in the SOUTH of France (over seven hours away from the capital city), thus it has nothing to do with Paris.  Cultural illiteracy in action.

Side note 2: With WWE moving to a $30 a month service starting in September it's highly unlikely I'll be watching any more of their PPVs for the foreseeable future.  So unfortunately my reviewing their shows will largely be a thing of the past.  I already had a Peacock subscription prior to the existing deal, so I wasn't giving WWE any additional money.  But I sure as shit ain't shelling out thirty bucks a month to watch a subpar wrestling show from a company that openly embraces fascism, accepts blood money, or covers up human trafficking scandals.  WWE and everyone in charge of it can get fucked.

Alright, let's look at this thing....



Women's Intercontinental Championship: Becky Lynch vs. Nikki Bella


Really, we're going with Nikki Bella as a challenger?  When was she last relevant, 2015?  Nikki was pretty good by 2013-14 women's roster standards but was rendered pretty obsolete when the Four Horsewomen were called up and the Divas Title went away.  Why are we pushing nostalgia acts from one of the company's lamest periods?  Is Adam Rose coming back too?

Pick: Becky retains




Good Ol' Fashioned Donnybrook: Sheamus vs. Rusev


Fuck's sake, can't we just call this a street fight?  In a vacuum Sheamus vs. Rusev in a No DQ match sounds good, but this is through WWE's cartoon filter so it'll probably be a disappointment.  Rusev by the way has been back on WWE TV for four months and this is his first PPV match.  Well that's one more than Aleister Black's gotten, and he returned the same week.  Remember when everyone said AEW was misusing those two and they should go back to WWE?  Good times.

Pick: Rusev




Roman Reigns vs. Bronson Reed


This could be alright if Reed weren't clearly presented as the low man in The Vision (That stable name stinks, by the way - just call it what it is, The Seth Riders).  But Reed is in no way a threat to the nigh-unbeatable Roman.  Folks will just be waiting twenty minutes for the Superman punch/Spear to mercifully end this.

Pick: Roman




John Cena vs. Logan Paul


2015 Cena would have a helluva match with Logan.  2025 Cena probably won't.  Cena's on his way to a rematch no one asked for, against sex trafficking accessory Brock Lesnar next month, so they gotta give him a win here before he loses to Brock yet again.  WWE has been running on Cena fumes all year and it's gonna be fun to watch their weekly live crowds shrink when he's gone.

Pick: Cena




World Championship: Seth Rollins vs. CM Punk vs. Jey Uso vs. LA Knight


Ok I get why Punk is in this, he just dropped the title to Seth, and LA Knight beat Seth on Saturday Night's Main Event, that time Seth kayfabe faked a knee injury so he could cash in on Punk, even though he could've done the same thing without faking a knee injury and losing to Knight (Make it make sense), but why is Jey Uso here?  Just because he's friends with Punk and Knight?  Anyway, after Phil's embarrassing cardio performance at SummerSlam it's clear he should only be featured in multi-man matches going forward.  Jesus, he was 2003 Scott Steiner-gassed.  Seth is obviously not losing here.

Pick: Seth retains


Yeah this is basically a SNME lineup.  WWE is way more interested in cockblocking AEW in September than in presenting their French fans with a good card for their obscene ticket prices.  This company sucks.



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