Well we've now entered the era of two-night shows for all of WWE's Big Four PPVs. SummerSlam 2025, probably Royal Rumble and Survivor Series 2026, and maybe even Money in the Bank will now be spread over two shows. Thus WrestleMania is no longer all that special.
SummerSlam 2025 was another mixed bag of an extravaganza. The first night was a bad overall show, the second night was pretty good up until the appallingly tone deaf ending. This company has no line it will not cross, no scandal it will not gladly sweep under the rug if it gets in the way of their bottom line. Between sex trafficking accessory Brock Lesnar being back on television and WWE just openly aligning itself with MAGA, I'm honestly not sure how much more WWE content I'll even watch going forward.
Night 1 as I said was a pretty bad show, with a whole bunch of mostly nothing matches and a dull as fuck main event that for some reason WWE's faithful have convinced themselves was some kind of Bret Hart-esque masterpiece. I don't seem to recall Bret ever needing to stall after every move to let his gassed opponent recover for a while. Certainly not in his good matches anyhow.
The show opened, 22 minutes in (that's TWENTY-TWO) with a solid tag match as Roman Reigns and Jey Uso took on Seth Rollins' buddies Bron Breakker and Bronson Reed. Things started out not so promisingly as after a few moments of action Jey called for his entrance music again just to get a stupid Yeet chant going. This company is a parody of pro wrestling. From there they had a pretty good match and Breakker looked really good as usual. Side note: Wade Barrett, who I find pretty insufferable on commentary, keeps claiming Bron can run up to 23 miles per hour. I'd buy that for a dollar. They of course had to squeeze in yet another Roman spear through the barricade (which now isn't even attached at one side so this spot looks even dumber now). The Brons did a Steiner doomsday bulldog spot which was cool. At the end of the match Roman shoved Jey out of the way of a Breakker spear, and Jey hit his big splash on Reed to win the match. This show would never get this good again. ***1/2
The next match was for the Women's Tag belts, and was a solid TV quality bout. Charlotte looked better here than she did at 'Mania. Not a ton of memorable things in this one, it was just a competently worked match. Alexa Bliss accidentally hit Charlotte at one point but it didn't amount to anything. Charlotte teased attacking her in return but didn't. Alexa finished Roxanne Perez with Sister Abigayle to win the belts. **3/4
The next two matches were entirely skippable. Sami Zayn vs. Karrion Kross went about ten minutes and was just fluff. Late in the match Kross tried to use a lead pipe but missed, and then Scarlett tried to entice Sami to use it but he refused. Sami hit his corner exploder suplex and Helluva Kick to win. Pointless inclusion on this show. **
The WWE Women's Title match wasn't much better, as Jade Cargill and Tiffany Stratton only got about eight minutes. The most memorable spot here was Tiffany going for a PME and Jade getting her feet up, causing Tiffany to fall very hard to the mat. Jade hit her finish but Tiffany was in the ropes. Tiffany made a comeback and hit PME for the win. Decent showing for Jade but I'm not sure having her lose clean does her any favors. **1/4
Next up was the WCW match of the night as Randy Orton teamed with Jelly Roll against Drew McIntyre and Logan Paul. For some reason they had Jelly start this match. He performed moves competently but is very good at selling. That's about all I can say. Why WWE feels the need to cheapen the accomplishments and training of full-time wrestlers by having celebrities get in there and hold their own against them is beyond me. Hey Bully Ray, THIS is what kills kayfabe. Logan Paul did a really impressive frog splash through the announce table spot on Jelly, which of course led to a stretcher job tease, which of course led to Jelly firing up and getting back in the match. Orton took Drew out with an RKO but Logan tossed Orton into the post and hit a frog splash on Jelly for the win. This was fine. **3/4
Now for the Gunther-CM Punk main event. Seriously, anyone likening this to a Bret Hart match hasn't watched an actual Bret Hart match recently, if ever. This was an absolute slog. A fifteen minute match stretched to thirty, with loads of dead air in the middle. Gunther would do a move and just stand there while Punk sold it. Isn't the goal to keep on top of the guy so you can finish him? This happened numerous times during the bout, including once on the outside where Gunther stood on the announce table and gloated so long Punk yanked his legs out from under him and he bumped on the table. He then came up with fake blood all over his face, which was supposed to denote he'd broken his nose. Gunther dominated probably 80% of this until Punk finally hit a GTS, Gunther somehow stayed upright, and Punk hit a second one to win the belt. Boring as shit. There is no credible argument that Phil Brooks still has it after mind-numbing work like this. **3/4
And of course Seth Rollins showed up after the match, revealed his knee injury to be a work (another WCW moment since most of the locker room thought it was legit), and cashed in his briefcase to win the belt.
This show pretty much stunk.
Best Match: Roman/Jey vs. Bron/Bronson
Worst Match: Sami vs. Kross
What I'd Change: Give Phil some caffeine or coke to wake his ass up and cut that match down to twenty.
Most Disappointing Match: Considering Gunther-Punk was the only one I was at all looking forward to, that one.
Most Pleasant Surprise: The opener
Overall Rating: 5.5/10 - Night 1 was the worst SummerSlam show since 2010.
Night 2 on the other hand was a solid outing, after Triple H got done having a big ego stroke-fest to kick things off. Paul, we're not here to see you, fuck off.
The show opened with Naomi vs. Rhea vs. IYO, and the goal was clearly to duplicate the success of the IYO-Rhea-Bianca match at 'Mania. Only problem is Naomi is not Bianca Belair. They all worked hard but the chemistry the other two had with Bianca was missing and Naomi just doesn't have the agility to keep up at the pace of the 'Mania match. Still this was an entertaining opener that had a callback or two to that one, like when IYO went to break up a Naomi pin with a moonsault but Naomi was ready for it and moved. Rhea hit a top rope Riptide but Naomi got a flash pin on Rhea to retain the belt. Good match, weak finish. ***1/2
The TLC match ended up being the best match of its type in WWE in several years and was the best match on the show up until the main event, ironic since WWE stans (and Bully Ray who was sitting in the front row) claim to hate spotfests with no story. Yes, Bully Ray, whose fame is 100% due to spotfests with no story, actually said this once. Anyway, this match was pure carnage and unlike most WWE ladder matches there were actually a few unexpected spots, like Axiom hitting a Spanish Fly off the top through a table on the floor. Multiple women ran out to help their respective teams, no doubt a callback to the WM17 TLC match when Lita, Spike Dudley and Rhyno all got involved. Tommaso Ciampa also did the Jeff Hardy hanging from the belt hook spot, where Nathan Frazer tried to spear him, but this time Ciampa pulled himself up to avoid it, which was very impressive. DIY at one point recreated the SummerSlam 2000 TLC spot where Bubba and Matt Hardy got pushed off a ladder through four tables on the floor. After everyone was taken out Dexter Lumis held the ladder while Joe Gacy climbed and got the belts. Wyatt Sicks retain. Good match with a lot of quotes of other TLC matches. Finish was kind of flat though. ****
The Becky Lynch-Lyra Valkyria No DQ match was next, and it would be the third of four consecutive no DQ matches on this show, plus the main event. Why did they cram all the gimmick matches on one card? Anyway this was a very good fifteen minute match. Unfortunately it went twenty-five and came to a grinding halt once Bayley showed up. Becky and Lyra did some good stuff with various weapons and for a while Lyra's hands were zip-tied together, which forced her to get creative with her offense (including a top-rope moonsault). Unfortunately the very cool comeback ended with her just going under the ring and mysteriously breaking free of the zip-ties. That was dumb, and obviously a crew member was down there with a pair of cutters. Becky was about to hit Lyra with a crowbar but Bayley showed up out of nowhere and attacked Becky. Why? Bayley accidentally hit Lyra and Becky Manhandle Slammed her through a chair for the win. Very good first fifteen minutes, very dull last ten. On balance I'll go ***1/4
The worst match on either night was Solo Sikoa vs. Jacob Fatu in the tamest cage match I've seen since 80s WWF. There was nothing to this and it barely got any time. Oh and Solo's Bloodline C-team ran in for a bunch of interference. For the second match in a row the babyface was restrained by the wrists, after the heels handcuffed Fatu to the top of the cage. Fatu then just broke the cuffs (off camera). Fatu was close to escaping but Talla Tonga (Hikuleo under his stupid new name) slammed the door into his head, allowing Solo to fall out of the cage for the win. This sucked. *1/2
The penultimate match was for some reason chock full of Eddie Guerrero fan service, which I really don't understand. I get that Dominik Mysterio is partly modeling his gimmick after Eddie's but why was AJ dressed in Eddie-themed gear, why did he come out on a low-rider, and why did both guys have to do multiple Eddie spots, including trying to draw the DQ by faking being hit with a chair when the ref wasn't looking? This was stupid. Even the finish was lifted from an Eddie match, as AJ locked in the Calf Crusher but Dom's boot came off. There was a ref bump and Dom hit AJ with the boot and then hit Eddie's frog splash to win. How far has the mighty AJ Styles fallen? **1/4
Finally after like a half-hour of bullshit including Stephanie McMahon claiming the total attendance for both nights was 113k (it was actually 106k), we got to the John Cena-Cody Rhodes main event. And believe it or not it was actually the best thing on either night. Turns out babyface John Cena can still work a match, further illustrating how fucking terrible this heel run was. They didn't rely on a ton of bells and whistles in this match either until later, and the first two-thirds of this was really strong. But as with every big WWE main event things just dragged on too long, starting with a tedious brawl through the crowd that culminated in Cena rising from Cody's stage entrance trap door with Cody on his shoulders. He gave him an AA on the ramp and the action moved back into the ring. Cody undid the bottom rope and started hitting Cena with the turnbuckle. He then demanded the ref stop the match, to which my response was "Why don't you just pin him, doofus?" They did some very bad-looking choke spots with the loose rope and then Cody hit three CrossRhodes in a row and Cena kicked out. Then Cena did two AAs and a third from the second rope and Cody kicked out. Cena tried to do another AA through a table but Cody countered with a very bad cutter and then hit a fourth CrossRhodes to win. Again, WWE stans claim to hate excessive finisher kickouts but doubtless had no issue with that happening here. Very good main event and certainly Cena's best work in years. ****1/4
And then Brock Lesnar showed up, despite having been named in the Janel Grant lawsuit as an accessory to sex trafficking (Can WWE not just have the babyface standing tall to end a PPV anymore?). For the second year in a row Cody was made an afterthought following his own championship main event. Brock sauntered down to the ring and Cena just stood there like a dork, and Brock F5'd him to end the show. Fuck this company, then, now, forever. Also apparently Cena himself requested to work with Brock one last time, so fuck John too.
Best Match: Cena vs. Cody
Worst Match: Solo vs. Jacob
What I'd Change: Cut the Becky match down to fifteen, cut the main event down to 25 (seriously guys, 38 minutes for any WWE match is too long).
Most Disappointing Match: Naomi-Rhea-IYO, as I was hoping for something close to the 'Mania triple threat
Most Pleasant Surprise: John Cena
Overall Rating: Should've been 8/10 but Brock showing up drops it to 7.5/10
So yeah, the two best matches of the whole two-night show were the kind of match WWE loyalists hate whenever AEW does them. Hypocrisy is a feature, not a bug. Night 1 was crap, Night 2 was good, WWE is a disgusting MAGA company that stands with pedos and sex pests. And for all you apologists saying "Yeah but Brock hasn't committed a crime," ask yourself if you'd be okay with any of this if Janel Grant were your daughter, or sister, or mother. Would you be okay with a guy being brought back to TV who knew she was being trafficked and did nothing? And then ask yourself why you're willing to abandon principles just to support WWE.
Thank fuck AEW exists.
No comments:
Post a Comment