Thursday, November 16, 2017

WWE Survivor Series 2017 Preview & Predictions

Wow.  What a bizarre build to this year's Survivor Series.  The card has changed roughly 78 times since the matches were first announced four weeks ago, and amazingly the show went from a surefire stinker to one of the best on-paper lineups of the year.  That doesn't mean of course that WWE won't fuck this up, they've demonstrated on many occasions their uncanny ability to botch something as simple as bagged salad mix.  But my optimism for this show being good has probably tripled in the last two weeks.  I went from full-on dreading it to actually having hope that this will be on par with last year's surprisingly excellent Survivor Series.  While I do think the champion vs. champion gimmick is dumb overall, three of the four matches are now very promising.  And while the RAW vs. Smackdown nonsense is forced and drivelous, the two elimination matches have the potential to be great.

So let's take a look at the matchups and see what makes sense.

***I'm leading still, with 62/88 (70%), Landon's in second with 51/76 (67%), Dave's in third with 36/54 (66.666666%), and Dan's in the rear (heh....rear...) with 54/88 (61%).***

Pre-Show Cruiserweight Championship: Enzo Amore vs. Kalisto

Thank Christ this got bumped to the pre-show.  What a pointless match, feud, and title.  This division is deader than dead.  If anyone's tuning in specifically for the 205 Live stuff, I feel sorry for you.

Justin: Enzo retains.  Who gives a shit?
Dan: I guess.  He stinks.
Landon: Enzo.  Fuck this company.
Dave: My god, I don't care.  Enzo I guess.

Champion vs. Champion: The Miz vs. Baron Corbin

This is the one main card match I'm really not at all interested in.  Who fuckin' cares about this?  Both guys are heels, only one is good at his job, and there's literally nothing at stake.  This match should get as little time as possible.  Corbin really should've dropped the belt to a rising babyface star prior to this (Not you Sin Cara!), so there'd be something to care about.

Justin: Miz gets a cheap win
Landon: Miz.  Fuck this company.
Dave: Miz rules.

Champion vs. Champion: Alexa Bliss vs. Charlotte Flair

Look, I'm a little sad Natalya's first title reign in six years was cut short, but let's be honest - Alexa vs. Nattie had zero intrigue aside from both of them being technically sound.  With Charlotte unseating Nattie last night on Smackdown we now have a babyface vs. heel dynamic, plus the "alpha female" vs. "crafty diminutive villain" thing.  Charlotte is a genetically superior athlete while Alexa is ruthlessly devious.  Both have strong characters and can play off each other well.  This should be fun.

Justin: Gotta go with Charlotte here
Dan: Alexa should win here.
Landon: Charlotte.  Then Carmella cashes in.  Fuck this company.
Dave: Charlotte will get the win for her dad.

Champion vs. Champion: The Bar vs. The Usos

I was actually looking forward to Ambrose & Rollins vs. The Usos (or even better, Ambrose & Rollins vs. Owens & Zayn), but considering why they put the RAW belts back on Cesaro & Sheamus I can forgive the change.  In any case, this has a ton of potential too - both teams have been delivering big in the ring lately and despite this being another heel vs. heel match, the fans like both tandems.  No complaints here.  Also this brings to mind that old saying, "Sometimes you beat The Bar, and sometimes The Bar beats you."  That's how it goes, right?

Justin: I guess the Usos?
Dan: Take me to The Bar
Landon: Usos.  Fuck this company.
Dave: The Bar

The Shield vs. The New Day

It's baffling to me that they gave away The Shield's first reunion match on free television, but it'll still be a glorious sight to watch them causing all kinds of havoc like in the old days.  The old days of 2013.....  Oh yeah, New Day has ZERO chance of winning this.

Justin: The Shield
Dan: Yup
Landon: Shield.  Fuck this company.
Dave: The Shield

Women's Survivor Series: Alicia Fox/Sasha Banks/Bayley/Asuka/Nia Jax vs. Becky Lynch/Carmella/Naomi/Tamina/probably Natalya

Last year's women's 5-on-5 kicked Survivor Series off proper-like, getting a solid 17 minutes and giving everyone their moment in the sun.  This year's should do the same, although Smackdown's team is considerably weaker than RAW's.  The whole point of this match should be to build up Asuka as a killing machine.  If she isn't standing tall at the end, preferably as the sole survivor, it's because something went wrong.

Justin: Team RAW/Asuka
Dan: The Smackdown team looks like an afterthought.  Gotta be RAW.
Landon: RAW.  Yup, fuck this company.
Dave: I don't care, so RAW.

Men's Survivor Series: Kurt Angle/Triple H/Samoa Joe/Braun Strowman/Finn Balor vs. Shane McMahon/John Cena/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura/Bobby Roode

If this isn't the match of the night, as well as the longest match by far, I'll be shocked.  This is one of the most stacked matches of its kind in years, with loads of star power (some might argue way too many old guys - the average age of the participants is 41!) and some really intriguing first-time matchups represented.  We'll get to see Angle vs. Nakamura, Cena vs. Joe, Triple H vs. Triple H-- I mean Bobby Roode, Orton vs. Balor.  There are loads of intriguing possibilities here.  Should be a fun ride like last year's men's match.

Justin: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn have to get involved somehow, but since the women's match is obviously going to Team RAW, I have to think Team SD wins here, particularly since SD went off the air with RAW killing everyone.  So I'll pick Shane's squad.  Jeezus Christ Shane needs to stop wrestling, btw.
Dan: I think they're setting up Angle vs. HHH so I'm pretty sure these two could get into it.  Team Blue to win.
Landon:  RAW because Haitch needs to look strong.  Fuck. This. Company.
Dave: Smackdown

Champion vs. Champion: Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles

Man, this went from being possibly the worst PPV main event of the year, to potentially being one of the best.  Thank fucking Yoda they finally took the belt off Jinder.  God that guy sucks.  AJ is far and away the best guy in the company and deserves every championship he wins.  He also deserves to give Brock the best match he's had since Punk.  This needs to be booked as AJ staying one step ahead of Brock for most of the match, being too clever, too quick and too resourceful for Brock's usual offense to work.  Then Brock finally catches up and lowers the boom.  Brock beating AJ is fine with me, but AJ needs to be protected and made to look like he belongs in there with The Beast.  If they book it like that I got no problems.

Justin: Brock wins
Dan: Yeah, Brock.
Landon: Brock.  But at least I'll enjoy this one.
Dave: I want Styles to win but I think Brock takes it.

So there you have it.  WWE has snatched a potentially awesome show from the jaws of hot garbage.  Hopefully they don't overthink it and we'll get the second great Survivor Series in a row.

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