Monday, May 9, 2016

Game Of Thrones: Season Six, Episode 3 - "Oathbreaker"

by Dan Moore

A slow night in Westeros. Not much happened in last night’s episode. Jon Snow is up and about again after dealing with that nasty ailment known as “being dead." He promptly took the crows that murdered him and had them swinging on the gallows pole. And then his watch ended. I guess he technically didn’t break his oath, as you’re sworn to the black until you die, and Jon Snow most certainly died. So now he leaves the Wall to do…I dunno. You’d think maybe he woulda checked with his friends before leaving. But nope, Jonny went all lone wolf and took off. Maybe he’ll go find Sansa? Or Uncle Benji? Who knows.

Way to come back from the dead, Jon!!

Dany finally gets to Vaes Dothrak and oh boy they don’t like her. Seems that these widows of the Khals don’t take to kindly to our silver-haired Mother of Dragons.  She’s the real oath breaker, as she was supposed to end up in this widows' home immediately after her Khal died, but noooooooo, she had to go all liberator in Mereen and free slaves. So now her fate is left up to these vengeful broads. Will she stay? Will she be exiled? Or worse? I’m gonna say she’s freed by her gray-scaled friend, Ser Jorah. But this is an interesting development. Dany now has to pay for wanting to be such a gracious person. Could be trouble.

I think the biggest reveal in this episode is that as Ramsay is trying to cultivate new relationships as the Lord of Winterfell, Lord Umber shows him his ace in the hole: Rickon Stark. The fact that Ramsay now has ANOTHER Stark to fuck with is infuriating, but dem’s da breaks, kid. Does this help Ramsay get total control over the folks in Winterfell and beyond? If Jon Snow hears word of this, Ramsay is FUCKED.

Speaking of the Starks, we got a view of young Ned! As Bran continues his Warg training, we watch as he views his father fight Ser Arthur Dayne in what is one of the coolest fighting scenes that Thrones has done thus far. It was awesome seeing Ned again, even if it wasn’t Sean Beane. Why was Dayne guarding that tower? What’s going on up there? And what a screwjob at the end of that scene. Ned’s about to head into the tower and the Three Eyed Raven pulls the rug out from under us. “You’re lesson is over, flashback, done”  I WANNA KNOW!!!


Quick hits around the rest of the episode

---So Arya gets her ass kicked for a few eps and now she’s got her vision back. Much like reviving Jon Snow, this blind girl bullshit was obviously not going to last too long and I’m glad that it’s over with. Now the girl can see and is no one…so she’s got that going for her.

---Varis is getting a new supply of little birds to help him spy all over Mereen. Meanwhile, Tyrion has a PAINFUL conversation with Grey Worm and Missandei. That was a tough scene to watch. It was supposed to be funny but it did nothing for me.

---The FrankenMountain is still as intimidating as ever, but not to the Small Council. They’re really in charge back in King’s Landing.

---Tommen goes to meet the High Sparrow and demands to let his mother see her daughter’s final resting place. But the High Sparrow starts talking nonsense about Gods and being holy, and methins Tommen is falling for it. The High Sparrow might have just gotten a new, powerful ally.

---Sam, Gilly and baby Sam are on a boat going somewhere in a plot I do not care about.

---Screw you Olly, I’m glad you’re dead, you little shit.

Amazingly a TV show had me cheering on a child’s death.
The only way I’d be happier is if they killed him twice.

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