WWE Extreme Rules is this Sunday and it's such a low priority for the company we only have six announced matches, only one of which is an Extreme Rules match. On the Extreme Rules show. This company straight up doesn't give a fuck anymore about anything but Saudi money and quick ratings bumps.
Of the six matches on this show, four look pretty good actually. They'll probably toss one or two more on there last-minute. I hope one of them involves Shinsuke Nakamura. Seriously, when was the last time that guy got to wrestle a singles match on a PPV? Anyone? I'd look it up but I don't have that kinda time. How an in-ring artist like Nakamura can be content wrestling for this company I'm sure I don't know.
Anyway let's take a look at this half-assed card.
Liv Morgan vs. Carmella
The hell is this doing here? I like Liv Morgan but why is this match on a PPV while the Intercontinental Champion sits in catering? I would hope Liv wins this and the company does something meaninful with her; she has a lot of potential and has for a while now.
Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. Street Profits
This should be fine. Usos are a damn fine team, Street Profits are quite capable. This will be a lovely free TV match.
Pick: Usos retain, no reason to take the belts off them right now.
US Championship: Damien Priest vs. Sheamus vs. Jeff Hardy
Priest and Sheamus had a very good match at SummerSlam. Not sure why Jeff's been added here but his style will make for a faster paced match. Priest is one of the few newer stars the company has actually been protecting, so he'll get another win here, probably by pinning Jeff. Thus Priest-Sheamus will continue.
Pick: Priest retains
RAW Women's Championship: Charlotte Flair vs. Alexa Bliss
Who is it that actually enjoys this Alexa Bliss character? Raise your hand and someone will come by and slap you. Imagine a PPV Women's Championship match centered around a scary doll. In 2021. Jesus H. Christ. Charlotte indicated in her promo this week that she wants the old Alexa Bliss at Extreme Rules. I liked the old Alexa Bliss. Remember the Goddess? She was cool. She could work a decent match - in fact she and Charlotte had a pretty good little outing at Survivor Series if memory serves - and promo-wise she was pretty compelling. This Fiend knockoff gimmick sucks. Sucks out loud. Sucks harder than the vacuum of space. Anyway, this match is probably going to be hot garbage.
Pick: Charlotte retains
Smackdown Women's Championship: Becky Lynch vs. Bianca Belair
Man, I know it was Becky's idea to turn heel and she's certainly capable of playing that role very well, but what dipshit company would ever take their legit hottest babyface character and turn them heel without a real reason and without someone else to step up and take that top babyface spot? Oh. Right. This dipshit company. Ask Steve Austin how that worked out for him. I know the idea is for Bianca to step up and take that spot, and I think Bianca is fantastic and can absolutely fill that role. But she's not there yet. What should've happened with this feud is something akin to Bret Hart's return in 1996. Becky comes back at SummerSlam after Bianca trounces Carmella in seconds, challenges her to a future match, and then over the next several weeks begins a *gradual* heel turn, wherein she slowly begins to exhibit subtle asshole behavior, acting like she's owed the title because she never lost it. Book Becky to win some TV matches in which she shows more aggressive tendencies and even cheats a bit, obsessed with proving she's still better than everyone else. Then in this PPV match she could go full heel. Then maybe the audience would be ready to embrace the change. Organic heel turns >>>>> forced heel turns, always. Anyway, all of that to say I don't think Becky's dropping the title back already. She'll retain by some underhanded tactic, forcing a rematch down the line.
Pick: Becky retains
Universal Championship: Roman Reigns vs. Finn Balor
Well, it's nice to see Balor on an actual PPV for a change. When was HIS last singles match on a main roster PPV? Was it more or less recent than Nakamura's? It's a shame to see Balor just used as Roman's warmup for Brock next month, and it's even more of a shame that Balor's Demon King gimmick is going to suffer his first main roster loss at the hands of a guy who doesn't need that accomplishment added to his resume. It's been what, two years since we last saw the Demon King in action? And he's just gonna go out there and lose so the gimmick no longer means anything? Super. When is Finn's contract up again?
Pick: Roman wins for the thousandth time.
Sooo yeah, four of these matches should be solid. Two of them should be lame. Maybe they'll add more to the show but who knows? After this week's AEW shows no one's going to be talking about this one anyway.
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