Wrestling's Greatest Finishers: Piledriver

Welcome to the third installment of Wrestling's Greatest Finishers, here at Enuffa.com, where I discuss a classic finishing maneuver, its physics, its origins, its significance in this fake sport we all love so much.

Today, due to overwhelming popular demand (okay, one person requested it), I'll be talking about one of the most devastating wrestling moves ever invented, one that's spawned a dozen or more variations and legitimately injured numerous dudes, the piledriver!

Thought to be invented by Wild Bill Longson, wrestling star of the 1930s-50s, the piledriver involves picking up your opponent upside-down, his head between your legs, and falling to a sitting position, thus driving him head-first into the canvas.  Realistically this move could kill a person, and for decades it was portrayed as perhaps the most dangerous move in the business.  Hell, the original version of the move was actually banned by WWE for many years, in no small part due to Steve Austin's real-life neck injury as the result of Owen's botched attempt.  The piledriver is one of those moves that must be terrifying to let someone put on you; you are literally putting your life in another person's hands.

Wait, that guy isn't tucking his head,
and that looks like a hardwood floor...

Anyway, the piledriver was a staple of the 70s and 80s, used as a finisher by the likes of Terry Funk, Harley Race, Jerry Lawler, and most famously during my childhood, "Mr. Wonderful" Paul Orndorff.  For my money Orndorff's version is still the greatest of all time, in terms of the original variant.  Where Funk, Lawler and others would lift their opponents into position and gently fall to their butt, Orndorff would actually jump slightly in the air while holding his victim, sweeping his own legs up so the drop on the opponent's head would look absolutely crippling (In 2000 an aging Orndorff actually compressed his own spine delivering the move on WCW television).  It was one of the best-protected moves of the era; if Paul piledrove you, you were done.

Wrestling's Greatest Finishers: Sweet Chin Music

Welcome to another edition of Wrestling’s Greatest Finishers, here at Enuffa.com!  Today I’ll be talking about the signature move of my all-time favorite wrestler, Shawn Michaels.  It’s been called the Crescent Kick, the Superkick, and most famously by HBK, Sweet Chin Music.  Whatever its handle, the side kick to the jaw has become an enduring, easily imitated maneuver.

“Gentleman” Chris Adams allegedly created the move, but the first incarnation I ever saw was when Haku began using it in the WWF, calling it the Crescent Kick.  Haku was extremely agile for his size, and the Crescent Kick demonstrated his balance and flexibility while also carrying an aura of mystery appropriate to his South Pacific heritage.  For a while Haku was the only wrestler I remember utilizing the move.

Then The Rockers arrived.  Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty brought probably a dozen tandem moves with them to the WWF, one of which was the double superkick.  Initially I didn’t pay that move much attention given how much more spectacular most of their other offense was.  It wasn’t until that fateful Barber Shop segment in January 1992 that the superkick truly became a fearsome piece of in-ring weaponry.  In turning on his longtime tag partner, Michaels demonstrated how gut-wrenchingly sudden and devastating the move could be.

As a new singles star Shawn primarily used the superkick as a setup move for his teardrop suplex – a finisher I found pretty underwhelming for a former aerial master.  In the early 90s a heel couldn’t maintain heat if his moveset displayed too much flash, so Shawn kept his game grounded and opted for an arsenal designed to show off his newfound mean streak.  As he moved up the roster it became clear the teardrop wasn’t cutting it as a finishing move.  In non-wrestling segments Shawn would generally use the superkick to lower the boom on an unsuspecting rival, so it only made sense that he promote that move to his full-time finisher.  It was the perfect utility move he didn’t need to be in the ring to execute.

Wrestling's Greatest Finishers: DDT

Welcome to a new feature here at Enuffa.com, Wrestling's Greatest Finishers, where I'll take an in-depth look at one of the legendary signature moves in pro wrestling lore, examining its origins, popularization, physics, and where it is today.

For this inaugural edition I’ll be looking at one of the most beloved of all finishing moves, the DDT.  Such a simple maneuver, yet also one of the more treacherous and violent, the DDT was allegedly an accidental innovation from the man with whom it is most associated.  Jake “The Snake” Roberts maintains he had grabbed his opponent in a front facelock when both men’s weight shifted, resulting in Roberts appearing to drive the other fella’s head into the mat.  This origin story has been disputed over the years, but what’s unquestionable is the DDT’s lasting, visceral appeal, along with Jake’s success in making it one of the all-time great finishers.

In the 80s most North American wrestling holds (including finishing moves) were fairly basic.  Hulk Hogan for example made a career of ending matches with the legdrop of all things; King Kong Bundy would simply squash guys in the corner; the Junkyard Dog used a rudimentary powerslam.  Once in a while you’d get a high flier with a top rope finisher, but for the most part finishing moves looked pretty safe and unspectacular.

Then along came Jake’s DDT - one of those finishers no one, and I mean NO ONE got up from.  Jake would often attempt the move several times during a match, but if he actually nailed it the match was over, period.  It was portrayed as so effective in squash matches that Jake could subsequently dump his signature python on top of an unconscious opponent and the guy would never know what happened.  Finishing moves in general were held up with much greater sanctity in the 80s than they are now, but even by the standards of that era the DDT was a showstopper.  It was rather fitting that a character nicknamed “The Snake” was equipped with a maneuver so akin to a sudden cobra strike.  Once the head and face of Jake’s poor victim were drilled into the canvas, he wasn’t getting up without smelling salts or an adrenaline shot to the aorta.

Another superb aspect of the move was Jake’s ability to execute it without warning, on an opponent of virtually any size.  Given his slender, less than spectacular build, a power move like a superplex would hardly have suited Jake.  But the DDT’s effectiveness only depended on quick reflexes and the inevitability of gravity.

The DDT became arguably the most popular single maneuver in the business, to the extent that the WWF eventually had trouble keeping Jake a heel.  Even against popular babyface opponents the crowds started chanting “D-D-T” during Jake’s matches, and it was clear he needed to become a babyface.  This may be the most significant example of a wrestler owing so much of his success to his choice of signature move.