Friday, October 21, 2016

NFL Pick 'em 2016: Week 7

Dan's Pick

The Brock-Star saved me a bit last week. Texans were getting whalloped and he came outta nowhere to save the Texans' season. Now they won, but that only left me with a measly push. A PUSH? Who am I, Molly Brown?

Anyways, I’m sure those two dolts will go on and on with the same tired jokes about how I’m old and senile. But let’s get real here. Have you seen these two? Here’s Brandon with an actual text message he sent 'cause he can’t figure out his newfangled iPhone.


The guy’s getting all discombobulated by technology and bingo in consecutive weeks. It may be time to send him off to the old nursing home in the sky.

And the less said about Miggsy, the better. Have you seen his television debut in the Ice-T Geico commercial?

Lookin' good, buddy.

The Browns are awful. There’s no denying it. They can’t pick players, they can’t coach them, they got nothing going on in Cleveland. You’d need Trump going on an ESPN debate to spinzone the Browns to make you believe they’d ever be a threat.

Can't pick the Browns, even with the Donald spitting fire.

Brandon's Pick

Back to even. Thank Christ. What would be great is if I had two decent weeks in a row. I’m not holding my breath (Unless I’m around Danny. Take a shower, buy a deodorant, do some fuckin' thing.). So here we are, six weeks in the books, and Miggsy is still in the lead. I’m sure that’s got his helmet poking outta his little hood. But by the end of this season, he’ll be tucked back in like a turtle that saw a ghost.

As far as Danny goes, I’m not sure what there is left to say.  Frankly, I’m just concerned for the guy. This is him at “work.” 

Obviously he’s part of some obscure male escort service for which he’s paid in sandwiches.

Moving on, I guess I gotta pick a game now, huh? Well fasten your seatbelts…

Indy @ Tennessee (-3) – The Pick - TITANS -3
What an atrocious game. The only people watching this will be the people in the crowd and those with gambling problems (Not me, I can stop anytime…). The Colts are TERRIBLE. I mean that as an entire organization. Jim Irsay probably won’t make it. He’ll be too busy bumpin' rails at Graceland. Their GM couldn’t build a team in Madden. And their coach is using phrases after losses like “So what, now what.” Literally, that’s how he’s trying to motivate his players. Hey, Colts fans…this is the stuff of Losers. Losers say these things. Losers blame QB contracts for the roster being shit. Losers run to the league office about football pressure. Losers hang participation banners. I’m embarrassed for all of you. Here’s former Titans owner, Bud Adams, from beyond the grave to share his thoughts on the game..

Couldn't have said it better myself, Bud.  Titans win 26-20.

Miggsy's Pick

Another win last week bringing my record to 4-2. Clearly, I’m still in first place. Asking those other two boobs to pick winners is asking a lot. You’ve got one in the wedding planning trenches taking heavy fire and the other dodging engagement questions like he’s a goddamn top gun pilot. How could they possibly be expected to keep up with a man of my caliber?

Me in wrestling form
(Curt Hennig, definitely team Fat Face)

How Brandon proposed from what I understand.

Live look in on Danny’s proposal

Washington Redskins @ Detroit Lions -1: SKINS +1
Some lines had this as a pick’em and without a doubt Washington would be favored at home by 3 or 3.5, so the fact that it’s in Motor City doesn’t bother me. The savage redskins should hunt and kill the king of the jungle. But fear not, they will eat the animal, use the pelts for warmth and channel the animal's spirit in future battle....or not, what do I care? Detroit is asking a lot of Stafford these days, much like Danny asking of the buttons on his shirt. Both situations are about to explode.  And can we stop with all the political correctness around the name? We won that war and took their land, decimating their people. To the victor goes the spoils. If you’re not going to move back to where your ancestors are from and give them their homes back, then shut up. We gave em casinos didn’t we?    

If you’re not a redskin, why are you upset?

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