Thursday, March 8, 2018

WWE Fastlane 2018 Preview & Predictions

Jeezus, another freakin' WWE PPV to predict?  Whatever happened to a six-week (or more) build to WrestleMania?  I miss those days.

Anyway, the final Smackdown-only PPV (before the PPVs all become dual-branded going forward due to so many weak-ass single-brand PPVs) looks to be a mildly entertaining if kinda pointless affair, with a big clusterfuck main event (I'm really getting tired of those) and a few undercard bouts of interest before the Showcase of the Immortals fully takes shape.  Barring any unforeseen fuckups on WWE's part, this year's WrestleMania could actually be a pretty damn good show.  Stay the course, fellas.....

Anyway, let's do this.

***Heading into the 2017-18 season home stretch I'm in the lead with 85/114 (74.5%), Landon's in second with 70/102 (72.5%), Dave's got 57/80 (71%), and Dan's mathematically eliminated with 70/114 (61%)***

Smackdown Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs. The New Day

This here is a sign that the blue brand ain't got shit going on in this division at the moment.  We've seen this match literally a thousand times.  I know the Bludgeon Brothers are on their way up and will almost certainly win gold in the next month or two, but jeezus does this reek of treading water.  The match should be good, but the question is do we need to see it again?

Justin: I have a suspicion Harper & Rowan get involved here, maybe even destroying both teams and making this a draw so there can be a 3-way match at 'Mania.  Either way it doesn't make sense to change the belts on this show.  Usos retain somehow.
Dan: Yeah
Landon: Usos
Dave: Usos

Becky Lynch & Naomi vs. Natalya & Carmella

Yikes, aside from whatever Charlotte is involved with there is nary a compelling women's feud on Smackdown.  Everyone's just sorta waiting their turn to go after the belt.  Nattie thinks she's challenging Charlotte after this, but we still don't know which belt Asuka's going after next month.

Justin: Becky beat Carmella on Smackdown this week, which means Carmella's team wins here.  50-50, even Steven, Roger-Roger--- oh wait, that's from Star Wars.
Dan: Becky again
Landon: Carmella & Natalya
Dave: No idea.  Carmella and the other chick.

Smackdown Women's Championship: Charlotte vs. Ruby Riott

One of two matches where a prominent 'Mania participant is being kept busy till New Orleans.  Riott has zero chance of taking the belt here.  The match should be decent.

Justin: Charlotte retains
Dan: Yeah
Landon: Charlotte needs to be ready for Asuka.  (Editor's Note: NO ONE is ready for Asuka)
Dave: Charlotte

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

Poor Rusev.  The guy was over huge, partly because of his wife, so they took the wife away.  Then despite being jobbed into oblivion he got over huge again, partly because of his new catchphrase, Rusev Day.  So they jobbed him into oblivion again.  Remember how much steam he had three years ago after beating John Cena clean at this very event?  That said, DON'T DO THAT AGAIN HERE.  Having Nakamura lose to anyone prior to his match with AJ would be utter stupidity.

Justin: Nakamura
Dan: Sure
Landon: Oh hey, Nakamura's wrestling Rusev. That's Neat. Nakamura.
Dave: Nak

US Championship: Bobby Roode vs. Randy Orton

This is an odd spot for Orton but I'm not complaining.  Like Cena did three years ago, Orton can use his star power to help re-elevate the US Title simply by vying for it.  This match seems similar to the tag title match, in that there's a heel waiting in the wings to challenge the winner of this, or both guys, at WrestleMania.  It's entirely possible Jinder gets involved to fuck this match up.  Much like he fucks up his own finisher.  BOOM.

Justin: Roode retains till a probable three-way at 'Mania
Dan: Orton
Landon: Roode I guess.
Dave: Roode

WWE Championship Six-Pack Challenge: AJ Styles vs. John Cena vs. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Baron Corbin

Remember how exciting this match was when it was just a triple threat with AJ, KO and Sami?  Yeah, let's shoehorn in two guys who haven't beaten anyone, plus John Cena who's just desperate for a WrestleMania match.  This should be an entertaining mess, but why the fuck does every PPV title match so far this year have to be some kinda stupid multi-man gimmick instead of just a simple singles bout?  Christ.  Obviously AJ is retaining here (I swear to fuck, if they screw up this AJ-Nak match....), so there's little suspense no matter how much you stack the odds against him.  Zayn and Owens will kick off a new feud which should culminate in a great 'Mania undercard match, Corbin and Ziggler will work themselves right into the Andre Battle Royal, and Cena will probably fight Taker (Yawn).  So AJ retaining is the only course of action.

Justin: AJ retains
Dan: Yeah
Dave: No way AJ loses before 'Mania.

That's the lineup.  The good news is this show will probably run under three hours.  How oversaturated does your programming have to be for a sub-three-hour show to be refreshing?  Anyway thanks for reading - join us on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter (@EnuffaDotCom).

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