Monday, August 1, 2016


by Dan Moore

Jason Bourne is BACK! And he’s got a new hat! Matt Damon returns as everyone’s favorite amnesiac government killer (How they didn’t name this Bourne Again is beyond me).

Fixed it
Bourne is off the grid…again. But some old white dude that’s in charge of some shady agency has to kill him…again. So he gets pulled back in, against his will, into the world of secret agents and killing…again. And there’s a vast conspiracy that Bourne knows about that can’t be leaked because of government secrets…again. Have you seen any of the previous Bourne movies? Congratulations, you’ve seen this one too!

Yes, Bourne, that cockeyed optimist, has gotten himself mixed up in the high stakes game of world diplomacy and international intrigue all over again. This movie, like the previous trilogy (and hell even the Damon-less Bourne Legacy), is done quite well. It’s what you’d expect from a Bourne movie. It’s also a lot of the same. We’ve seen it all before. Bourne’s a little more weathered and tired-looking, but there he is kicking ass again. There’s scenes in big rooms with computers and people hacking this and that. These scenes are interchangeable with all the other movies in the Bourne series. It’s all been done before.

They also tack on some sort of family-type origin story. It’s ludicrous. Seems our boy, little Davey Webb, never really stood a chance when it came to becoming a zombified super warrior. This plot element seems totally forced just to get us another Bourne movie. Also, the prior movie, Legacy, made it a huge point to say how Bourne disappeared and they couldn’t find him. Like he was a legend in the espionage game. And then they find him in literally minutes, at the beginning of this movie. If Damon and director Paul Greengrass’ whole point was to invalidate the last flick they had nothing to do with, mission accomplished.

This guy?  Yeah, never happened.

That’s not to say I hated the movie. Far from it. I like all the Bourne flicks, and this one is no exception. Damon is still great as the stoic government agent. The supporting characters are fine as usual. And the action scenes are shot great. They’re tense and not confusingly edited. As always, the car chases are awesome.

These movies need some new life, however. Bourne can’t keep being off the grid, then back on it. We don’t need more classified documents being declassified. And for Christ’s sake, how many more old white guys are gonna be behind these giant conspiracies and projects with weird names like Treadstone and BlackBriar? We’ve gone through Bryan Cox, Albert Finney, David Strathairn and now ol’ craggle face Tommy lee Jones. Who’s left? Glad you asked.

1. Michael Douglas, head of operation RomancingTheStone
2. Christopher Walken…actually not a bad idea.
3. Sean Connery…that’s right, JAMES FUCKING BOND comes back and puts this pussy with his fractured memories off the grid…for good.

Or we can mix it up, get an old black actor to be in charge.

1. Morgan Freeman. He’s running operation WHACK!briar (Gotta get that urban crowd)
2. That’s it. Freeman’s the only old black guy Hollywood likes to use.

Anyway, the new Bourne movie is just like the old Bourne movies. It’s a good action picture. But this formula is getting a little stale. Hopefully the next one will give us a new template cause I’m sick of the goddamn grid, being off it, being on it, whatever, just get rid of it.

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