You Used to Be Sooooo Good: Star Trek Movies

Welcome to another edition of You Used to Be Soooo Good, where Justin & I, Dan Moore (@SouthieDanimal), discuss things used to be awesome but now, eh, not so much. This week is a tad different, in that we are talking about films we actually like now but they’re missing…something from the old days.

Star Trek Movies:  You Are Stiiiiiiill Kinda Good, But Used to Be Sooooo Much Better

The classic, awesome Enterprise of the original films.

DAN: Oddly enough, Justin and I both watched Star Trek Into Darkness again on the same night independently, but clearly linked in a strange psychic way. And while I do enjoy the film (except for the dumb surname) and its reboot-starting predecessor, there’s definitely a lack of character development in these new films that hurt them. These flicks boast incredible effects, great action, competent acting; they are terribly entertaining, but really dumb. The iconic Trek characters have basically no personality. They have the idea of the old characters, but nothing’s fleshed out.


JUSTIN: Right, the spirit of the characters is there (which is more than you can say for Man of Steel – I’ll keep shitting on that film till my dying day), but it's basically Kirk and Spock in action figure form.  Both Star Trek '09 and Into Darkness featured a gigantic black monster vessel as the evil ship. It's also pretty humorous how blatantly Into Darkness copied entire passages of dialogue from ST2.


DAN: I believe they call that an "homage" now, and not plagiarism. The creators of this new Trek series are playing off the existing archetype of the old Trek series characters. What we already know about them, and not doing much else. Also, Chris Pine just doesn’t do it for me as Kirk.


JUSTIN: I actually like Pine a lot as Kirk.  I think I like him better than Zach Quinto. For me, Pine’s Kirk is closer to Shatner's than Quinto's Spock is to Nimoy's.  And that's more the writing than anything else - this Spock is kind of a jerk and is pretty easily swayed into becoming emotional.


DAN: My problem with him as Kirk is he’s just sort of a generic hero man. There’s nothing memorable about his Kirk like there is about Shatner’s. I do like him, and I think he’s dreamy but there’s just not enough there for me to care about his Kirk.

Yup, they look and feel vaguely like the original characters.

JUSTIN:  True, and that's really the case with all of them.  They just took a cursory approximation of the original characters and stuck 'em in these movies.  Kirk's heroic and repeatedly defies authority (how he's able to hold onto the Captain's chair at all is beyond me), Spock is cold and logical (unless the story requires him to fly into a rage and beat the piss out of the bad guy), McCoy is curmudgeonly and spouts metaphors constantly, Uhura speaks other languages (and is now for some reason the #3 character in the pecking order), Sulu's good at fencing, Scotty's really funny, and Chekhov is Russian. It's odd that Admiral Pike has gotten more screen time than any of those guys.

You Used to Be Sooooo Good: Tool

Welcome back to our semi-regular feature. This one's a tad different. Typically we take something that was once AWESOME but now sucks. This time, we're talking about a band that is badass and great but is MIA except for a bunch of mini-tours over the past year

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TOOL: YOU USED TO BE SOOOOOO GOOD (AND PROBABLY STILL ARE) 

DAN: I remember the first time I heard Tool. Back when MTV used to be a music channel and not a place for teen whores to show off their bastard kids, I watched the video for "Sober" off Tool's first album, Undertow. The first impression I had wasn't so much about the music but the visual components of this truly bizarre stop-motion Claymation-type video.

The spastic dance this little creep did freaked me out

I knew fuck all about the band, and it stayed that way until MTV once again showed me a video by them. Ostensibly named "Track #1", this song was enough to intrigue to search out the band behind this odd videos. When I purchased Ænima I realized the name of that song was actually "Stinkfist" and MTV changed it because EWWW HANDS IN BUTTS.

But that album was hypnotizing. It was MILES away from the grungy pop-ish like rock music I was listening to at the time. The chord progressions, the insanely elaborate drum beats and the one-of-a-kind vocals of lead singer Maynard James Keenan made for a band the likes of which mine ears had never heard. I needed more after listening to Ænima. In what turned out to be a pattern, it would be a long wait.

Movie Review: Blade Runner 2049

In 1982, Ridley Scott released one of the most visually influential sci-fi films of all time, a hard-boiled film-noir set in a dystopian future, involving a police officer (Harrison Ford) tasked with hunting down and killing four replicants (artificial humans engineered for off-world manual labor).  Fast-forward 35 years to the Denis Villeneuve-helmed Blade Runner 2049, which picks up the story three decades later with a new Blade Runner character (Ryan Gosling), who not only has to "retire" unauthorized replicants but gets mixed up in a mystery that could unravel civilization as we know it.

Villeneuve takes great care in preserving the imagery and feel of Scott's original universe but adds some of his own art-house sensibilities and expands on the story considerably.  Where the first film's narrative was exceedingly straightforward (cop has to find and kill four robots, and does so), BR 2049 embroils its protagonist in a much more engaging story with numerous plot twists and an emotional arc.  As a big fan of the original film, I will say that its greatest weakness is the thinness of its plot.  It took me several viewings over nearly a decade to fully appreciate Blade Runner, and it's not surprising that mainstream audiences were not enthusiastic about it upon its release.  It's a bleak, slow-moving film with not much in the way of story reveals, and ultimately becomes more of an exercise in style.  The sequel retains that tone but also gives the audience more relatable characters and a plot that requires a more active viewer. 

The casting is excellent across the board; Ryan Gosling is note-perfect as the gritty, impassive lead character, who becomes increasingly conflicted as the story unfolds.  Harrison Ford, despite limited screen time, is given much more to do emotively than in the original, and his rather forced love story with Sean Young in that film actually works better now because of its aftermath; the events of this film lend more emotional depth to that one.  Blade Runner 2049 boasts three very strong female performances as well, starting with Robin Wright as Gosling's stern, pragmatic police Lieutenant, whose only concern is preserving the delicate, uneasy harmony between humans and replicants, no matter the questionable ethics involved.  Ana de Armas has a touching, sympathetic turn as Joi, Gosling's holographic love interest, who displays more humanity than perhaps any other character - think Scarlett Johannson in Her, but with a physical manifestation.  Finally there's Sylvia Hoeks as Luv, a cold, fearsome replicant working for Jared Leto's Niander Wallace, who orders her to unravel the film's central mystery before Gosling's character does.

AEW Fight for the Fallen Preview & Predictions

Wow, already another AEW show this weekend.  Keeping up with this, the G1, Extreme Rules and the Evolve show all in the span of two days is gonna be murder....

AEW Fight for the Fallen is this Saturday, with the box office proceeds going to the victims of gun violence.  I can get behind that.  Like Fyter Fest two weeks ago this is one of their "minor" big shows, broadcast for free on B/R Live (in the US at least), and the matches are partly designed to build to All Out next month.  But a number of them should be quite the spectacle in their own right.  We have a lean, five-match main card with two pre-show bouts.  Let's get to it.

Pre-Show Match: Jimmy Havoc, Darby Allin & Joey Janela vs. MJF, Sammy Guevara & Shawn Spears

This will be a fast-paced showcase match for six of the company's up-and-comers.  Allin established himself nicely in his 20-minute draw with Cody, Joey Janela absorbed unfathomable punishment in an Unsanctioned loss to Jon Moxley, MJF has already shown himself to be one of the industry's strongest heel promos, and Shawn Spears made headlines by attacking Cody with a chair and inadvertently scraping off part of his scalp (Jeezus that was grotesque).  Since they're obviously setting up Cody vs. Spears at All Out, I'll pick the heels to win here.  Should be a fun way to rev up the crowd.

Pick: MJF/Sammy/Shawn

Pre-Show Match: Sonny Kiss vs. Peter Avalon

I know very little about these two beyond their gimmicks, so this will be an introduction to both for me.  I'll go with Sonny to get the win.

Pick: Sonny Kiss

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WWE Extreme Rules 2019 Preview & Predictions: Put This Company in a Box and Throw It In the Ocean

Oh good, another WWE PPV is this weekend.  Another off-the-rails shitshow where Vince and his crack team of writers further demonstrate how hopelessly out of touch they are with the wrestling 2019 audience.  I can't wait....

Yes, it's Extreme Rules time folks.  This particular PPV title has been around for ten years and it feels like twenty.  Actually to be fair, Extreme Rules is usually a decent show.  Last year not so much, and aside from a few matches I don't have a lot of hope for this one either.  Look at the main event, for Chrissakes.  The undercard is gonna have to carry the load, just like on a Nitro-era WCW show.  It is unfathomable to me that, in the midst of the lowest ratings RAW and Smackdown have ever posted, and coming off maybe the worst-attended WWE PPV of all time in Stomping Grounds (if it ain't the worst it's definitely up there), Vince is still doubling down on Baron Corbin, Lacey Evans and Shane McMahon as three of the featured players.  Hey Vince, NO ONE CARES ABOUT THESE PEOPLE.  Oh, but Paul Heyman and Eric Bischoff are in charge now!  Look, Heyman is an absolute genius in this industry.  I have no complaints about giving him creative power that he should've had all along.  But Eric fucking Bischoff??  The guy who's had one successful idea ever (which he lifted from NJPW), who hasn't been relevant as a creative mind since 1999?  Am I stoned?  Fuckin' hell, let's get this over with...

Cruiserweight Championship: Drew Gulak vs. Tony Nese

I assume this will get bumped to the pre-show.  Another CW match I don't care about but it'll undoubtedly be a good one.  Gulak just won this so I'll pick him.

Pick: Drew retains

Smackdown Women's Championship Handicap Match: Bayley vs. Alexa Bliss & Nikki Cross

Handicap matches are stupid.  I don't like them.  If Bayley wins, Alexa and Nikki look like fools.  If Alexa and Nikki win, they had to double team Bayley to do it.  Spoiler alert: I don't think they'll win - they've been building a feud between Alexa and Nikki for weeks and one of them would have to let the other pin Bayley essentially.  Course all this does is make Bayley the third wheel in this match, and it's never a good idea to do that to the champion.  Where in the fuck are Asuka and Kairi??

Pick: Bayley retains

RAW Tag Team Championship: The Revival vs. The Usos

This should be a really good tag match if they give it enough time.  Both teams are great and despite WWE treating Dash and Dawson like putzes more often than not, they're still pretty over.  This should be one of the show highlights.

Pick: I'll stick with the champs to retain

Movie Review: mother! (2017)

What to say about mother!?  That's uh....that's a movie alright.

Darren Aronofsky's divisive allegory about a married couple whose tranquil country home is overrun by unwanted guests plays out like a two-hour nightmare directed by Roman Polanski (with a few Kubrickian touches as well).  The wife, played by Jennifer Lawrence, seemingly has various repeated hallucinations (including a bloody spot on the floor rotting away into the basement beneath, a beating heart inside the walls, lightbulbs exploding, etc.), while her writer's-blocked poet husband (Javier Bardem) invites more and more guests into the house, seemingly as a way to avoid intimacy with her.  Gradually Lawrence's mental state appears to become further detached from reality, and everything goes completely haywire.

That, on the surface, is essentially the plot of the film.  I can't really say anything more without involving ***SPOILERS***, so from here on in, consider yourself warned.  I'll try to be as non-specific as I can.

First off I'll answer the question of whether I "liked" mother!  The answer truly is this - I'm not quite sure.  While just about every review I've read has either enthusiastically praised Aronofsky's bold, anti-mainstream attack on the senses or comically dismissed the film as utter trash (I'm looking at you Rex Reed, you odiously miserable douchebag), my feelings rested squarely in the middle, somewhere.

I admired Aronofsky's technical prowess; mother! has the off-putting visual claustrophobia of Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, with the down n' dirty graininess of The Wrestler.  I admired the performances across the board.  Bardem is somehow warmly menacing, like someone you want to trust if only you could shake the feeling that he's hiding a dreadful secret.  Ed Harris is affable but presumptuous.  Michelle Pfeiffer (great to see her again) nearly steals the show as a prying, socially inappropriate pillar of passive-aggressive.  And Jennifer Lawrence, while not quite giving a career performance, holds the film together as the overwhelmed homemaker who gives as much of herself as she possibly can while clinging desperately to her patience and sanity.  I admired the anxiety-building tone of the first half, where we know something is very much not right in this house but can't figure out why or what.  I admired the absolute hallucinatory anarchy of the second half, where rooms, situations and people seem to morph into something completely different the second we take our eyes off them, as in a vividly bad dream.  It must've taken incredible dexterity and confidence to stage and film these sequences, and from a visceral standpoint they work.

NJPW G1 Climax 29 Preview & Predictions (A Block)

The G1 Climax is upon us once again, and this year's tournament has a whole slew of fresh faces.  On paper this is one of the more exciting G1 lineups I've ever been privy to; the A Block is exploding with star power, while the B Block has a ton of intriguing first-time matchups (and some big names in its own right).  The 2017 and 2018 editions have to be considered the two greatest wrestling tournaments ever held, but 2019 has the potential to give both of them a run for their money.  We're about to see some great shit.

My colleague Landon Wayne and I decided to do things a little differently this year: I'll be previewing the A Block participants and he'll cover B Block at his site falconarrowemporium.blogspot.com - don't forget to check it out when you're done reading here!  We will however each give our three most anticipated matches from both blocks, plus our respective Finals predictions.

So let's get to it.  Here are the A Block participants....



Kazuchika Okada

The five-time IWGP Champion has gone into this tournament with the title more often than without, and always finishes as one of the block leaders.  He's won the whole tournament twice (2012 & 2014) and never fails to deliver at least one or two MOTY candidates.  He's obviously not winning this year (though he was so unstoppable in 2017 I actually picked him to win it despite being the champ), but he'll look to spoil it for the eventual block winner.




Hiroshi Tanahashi

Man, if there was ever a year for the Ace to sit out the G1 it's 2019.  Tanahashi has looked really rough lately and is clearly hurting a lot.  I'm not sure how many classic Tana matches we'll see in this tournament but hopefully he can rise to the occasion.  Maybe he's been working us all and he's not as banged up as he looks?  Tana is a three-time G1 winner (2007, 2015 & 2018), but the first trophy didn't come with a WrestleKingdom #1 contender certificate.  He's also the only man to successfully cash in said certificate (kinda crazy when you think about it - the G1 winner is 1 for 7 at the Dome).  Tana's not repeating.  There's just no way.  But let's hope he can still deliver like the Ace we all know and love.

The History of NXT TakeOver: Fatal 4-Way

Fatal 4-Way - Full Sail - 9.11.14

The Fatal 4-Way special served as a follow-up to the previous show, as the top four men's wrestlers faced off in one match.  Also Kalisto was back with a new partner to challenge for the Tag Titles, and Charlotte began her game-changing Women's Title run.  Finally the show would feature a big debut of a well-respected imported talent.

The show opened with The Ascension vs. Lucha Dragons, which was easily the best Ascension match thus far on these specials, but still only about a two-star affair.  The Dragons provided most of the movement in the bout and the crowd ate up everything they did.  A botched sunset flip powerbomb aside, this was fine for its spot and resulted in a big title change.

Next up was Baron Corbin vs. CJ Parker in a thirty-second squash to give Corbin a dominant win.  Not much else to say about it, other than it probably should've gone 90 seconds to better showcase Corbin's offense.

The weakest match was probably Enzo Amore vs. Sylvester Lefort.  This was a hair vs. hair match that in the end didn't deliver the promised head-shave, at least not to the right guy.  Instead Lefort's sidekick Marcus Louis got shaved.  The match itself wasn't good and never got out of first gear.  Pretty banal stuff.

Another squash followed, as Bull Dempsey mauled Mojo Rawley in just over a minute.  Not sure why they needed two matches like this on the same show, nor why Dempsey was ever a candidate for a big push.

At the time one of the biggest NXT debuts up to this point, KENTA was introduced on this show and  announced that his new name would be Hideo Itami.  The Ascension, pissed about having lost the Tag belts, attempted to ruin Itami's moment, but he fought them off.  It's strange to see this segment now, since Itami's NXT run was quickly derailed by a long-term injury.

AEW Fyter Fest Preview & Predictions

This Saturday is All Elite Wrestling's second official event, which will be available on B/R Live as a free stream.  It's definitely more of a minor show but there's still plenty of intriguing stuff going on to tide us over until next month's Fight for the Fallen, which will tide us over until their August supercard All Out.

AEW right now is everything WWE is not.  Cool, exciting, buzz-generating, and man can this company move tickets.  All Out, as everyone is now aware, sold out 12,000 tickets in 15 minutes, with about 100,000 more users waiting in online queues to buy them.  No wrestling event in history has ever had this much demand for tickets.  Not WrestleMania, not Royal Rumble, nothing.  Simply amazing.

But let's talk Fyter Fest....

Pre-Show Hardcore Match: Michael Nakazawa vs. Alex Jebailey

I don't know much about either of these dudes, but Jebailey is the head of CEO Gaming, which is co-sponsoring this event.  For that reason I could see him winning this match, but Nakazawa is an actual AEW guy so it would make more sense for him to go over I think.

Pick: Nakazawa

Pre-Show Match: Kylie Rae vs. Leva Bates

Kylie seems to be one of the women they're building this division around, and since she came up short at Double or Nothing it makes sense for her to get a win here.

Pick: Kylie Rae

Pre-Show Match: Best Friends vs. SoCal Uncensored vs. Private Party

This will be a wild affair full of non-stop action.  Best Friends and SCU both scored wins at DON, while Private Party is getting a proper introduction here.  The winners in this match advance to a First-Round Bye match at All Out, to determine their placement in the upcoming Tag Title tournament.  I guess Best Friends makes the most sense.

Pick: Best Friends

The History of NXT TakeOver: TakeOver

Time for a restaurant-quality show....

TakeOver - Full Sail - 5.29.14

While technically the second NXT Network special, this was the first to carry the name TakeOver, and it was a major improvement over Arrival.  The streamlined card featured five matches, three of which were in the four-star range, and one of which truly kicked off the so-called "Divas Revolution."

The first two matches were nothing spectacular; Adam Rose vs. Camacho opened the show.  I figured this would be a squash win for Rose but Camacho actually dominated the match.  One (of many) problems I have with the Rose persona is he never seems to be trying to win the match, he's all about the comedy aspect.  So when he makes a late match comeback and ends up winning suddenly it feels false.  Short and inoffensive.

Next up was NXT Tag Champs The Ascension vs. Kalisto & El Locale.  While another example of The Ascension's limited in-ring ability, this was easily a step above their Arrival match, as Kalisto was able to carry most of the action.  Locale however was pretty awful.  It seemed like he used to be able to do the high-flying lucha moves but was now far overweight to pull them off.

The final three bouts were quite a trilogy of awesome.  Sami Zayn faced Tyler Breeze for the #1 Contender's spot, and what a match!  These two meshed perfectly and everything looked incredibly crisp.  Both guys left it all in the ring with crazy aerial moves and tons of counters.  Breeze blocked Zayn's Helluva Kick and inadvertently hit him in the groin, then capitalized with his finisher for the upset win.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 4 (I Love the NWA)

As WrestleMania IV loomed I eagerly anticipated my hero Hulk Hogan winning the WWF Title tournament and once again becoming the Champion.  My #2 choice at the time was Randy Savage, but in my mind the ideal place for him was as the Intercontinental Champion (partly because I still saw the World Title as a Big Man Belt).  I once again didn't get to watch the PPV, but my friend Greg went to see it on closed-circuit TV and called me with a full recap immediately upon returning home.  He was ecstatic to see Savage emerge with the Title, and while he wasn't my first choice, I was relieved the belt didn't end up around Ted Dibiase's waist (I absolutely hated him. HATED. HIM.).

With Savage as the Champion I was definitely interested to see where things would go.  It was a real change from Hogan's perennial David vs. Goliath feuds, and Savage got to bring his technical prowess to the WWF's main event scene.

The First Couple of Wrestling

The most emotionally charged feud of that period was Rick Rude vs. Jake Roberts, which was sparked by Rude unwittingly propositioning Jake's wife at ringside.  It was a great way to start a feud and was first time I can recall seeing a wrestler's real-life spouse being part of a storyline (Miss Elizabeth excepted).

WWE Stomping Grounds Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of WWE Predictions here at Enuffa.com!

This month it's the PPV no one cares about whatsoever, WWE's newest show, Stomping Grounds!  Fuck does that even mean, anyway?  "Stomping grounds" is an expression about someone returning to their old familiar haunts.  So like, in WWE's case a PPV at Madison Square Garden might apply.  They haven't done a televised show there in forever but it used to be their home arena, so you could say they're returning to their old "stomping grounds."  But this show is at the Tacoma Dome, where I'm pretty sure WWE has never before held a PPV.  So where does the expression "stomping grounds" fit in?  Does Vince think anymore before deciding on things?  Why not just keep the name Battleground?

Regardless of stupid monikers, I probably won't even watch this show aside from one or two matches (it'll be the first non-Saudi WWE PPV since Battleground 2017 that I haven't watched from start to finish), because there's almost nothing of interest.  The top four matches are all repeats from either WrestleMania, Money in the Bank or Super ShowDown and none of them were good the first time.  And WWE wonders why this show isn't close to sold out (meanwhile AEW's All Out was full within fifteen minutes, with about 100,000 more fans still wanting tickets).  I've said it before, but 1998 Vince McMahon would be laughing with pity at the sad old fool he'd eventually become.  WWE's product hasn't felt this irrelevant and tired since probably mid-1995, when it was running on Diesel fumes.  It took about 18 months of Nitro kicking its ass for Vince to really shake things up.  Problem is I don't think the 73-year-old Vince has it in him to admit his product needs a drastic overhaul, plus at this point most of the money he's making is guaranteed, irrespective of record-low ratings.  For now that is...

Anyway, let's get started on this shitshow.  Gotta be one of the least interesting PPV lineups they've ever put together.

Cruiserweight Championship: Tony Nese vs. Drew Gulak vs. Akira Tozawa

Well it's another cruiserweight match that will be entertaining but which no one will react to.  And this will probably get bumped to the pre-show.  I'm not sure what WWE needs to do to make anyone give a shit about their cruisers.  It's literally just a buncha guys with no star power.  The division needs to be centered around one or two top dudes, but in order to build up to that 205 Live needs people to tune in and care about them.  It's a Catch 22.  Contrast this with NJPW's Jr. division, spearheaded currently by Will Ospreay, who's one of the hottest stars in the business right now.  WWE needs to find its Will Ospreay - maybe put Ricochet on 205 Live part-time, make him the champion, but also feature him on RAW and SD against the heavyweights so he becomes a crossover star?  Anyway, I'll stick with Nese to retain here.

Pick: Nese keeps the strap

The New Day vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn

This match was just thrown together, followed by Owens and Zayn losing two 2/3 Falls matches in two straight falls.  So yeah, that makes me give a shit about this match.  Technically this should be good but like most of the product I've been given zero reason to care.

Pick: Owens & Zayn were made to look like total geeks this week so they're winning here.  50-50.

The History of NXT TakeOver: Arrival

What's up kids?  I'm back with another Enuffa.com PPV History series!  Taking a break from WWE's main roster PPVs, I shall now tackle the vaunted NXT TakeOver specials.  

The NXT brand has blossomed incredibly since Triple H assumed control of it back in 2012.  Once viewed as little more than a feeder system for the main roster, NXT under Hunter's direction has actively recruited the best Indy talent from all over the world, lending the brand some much-needed credibility and helping season the homegrown rookies.  NXT is now one of the most beloved brands in all of pro wrestling, based at Full Sail University but having sold out full-scale arenas like Brooklyn's Barclays Center.  It's become commonplace for NXT specials to outclass the main roster PPVs, as Hunter's brand features a much greater emphasis on the in-ring product, simple, easy-to-follow storylines, and perhaps most notably, a Women's division that's been consistently as good or better than anything else in the entire company.  While the main roster has quite often failed to properly utilize NXT call-ups, there's no denying the "third brand" has begun to leave its mark on WWE as a whole, many of its graduates having won multiple main roster championships.  Let's take a look at the brief but already storied history of NXT: Takeover!

Arrival - Full Sail - 2.27.14

The first WWE Network live special was not a main roster PPV, but an NXT showcase.  With WrestleMania XXX approaching as the first-ever PPV to be aired on the Network, WWE used NXT: Arrival (the TakeOver name wouldn't be used until the second special) as something of a guinea pig, broadcasting the two-hour event live during the Network's first week.  The show featured all three NXT Championships on the line, plus a much-anticipated rematch between two ROH alums.

The show opened with an incredible 22-minute war between Cesaro and Sami Zayn, which brought to mind both men's ROH work.  The counters here were off the charts as both guys pulled out every move they could think of.  The match told a great story of Cesaro being the overconfident bully and Zayn being the determined underdog who refuses to stay down.  What a way to kick off the first NXT special.  If you weren't hooked after watching this match there just might be something wrong with you.

Next up was Mojo Rawley vs. CJ Parker (better known today as Juice Robinson).  This was little more than a squash to show off Rawley's stuff.  He wasn't terribly accomplished in the ring at this point, and he's got one of the worst finishers in the game (think Earthquake's finisher but 150 pounds lighter), but few guys in NXT boast as lively a persona.  Parker's character was that of an obnoxious environmentalist and it's a little disturbing that such a persona would only get over as a heel.  But whatever, this was a throwaway.

The first Title match took place next as The Ascension faced Too Cool in a match between two teams I'm not fond of whatsoever.  The Ascension have to be the least successful Road Warrior knockoffs of all time.  Konnor at least looks the part, but at 5'11" and 220 pounds Viktor is hardly the right guy for a team like this.  Too Cool's schtick got old back in 2000 and they weren't given much to do here.  I'm not entirely sure why they were picked for this Title defense, actually.  Not much of a match.

The Dive Bars of America: BullShots (Atlantic City, NJ)

by Dan Moore

@SouthieDanimal

This column features some of the greatest and grossest dive bars in the U.S. of A. I’ll be using a rating system between 1 and 4 handlebar mustaches, which is the preferred mustache by 9 out of 10 old timers in dive bars.

BullShots

2309 Pacific Ave

Atlantic City, NJ 08401

You had me at $2 Bud Lights, BullShots.

My dear friend, Scotty Pickles, is getting married this year and we needed a place to go for his bachelor party so’s we could gamble, son. We decided Vegas was too far and Foxwoods too close. We settled on Atlantic City. As we drove to check into our place, we zoomed past that delightful sign above. We knew we found our spot. Bud Light is Southie water so this was a friendly place for us. BullShots has a long bar with a room in the back that has pool tables and oh yea, it’s connected to a strip club.

Fun Factor: Oh, there’s a ton in this joint. There’s all kinds of silly shit hanging from the walls here. There’s pool tables in the back (though I never made it back there because BEER). They got beer pong, hookah and tons of promotions all week. It’s a veritable drunken playground. Oh, and it’s connected to a strip club.

Also, they got cigarettes, and smoking is always fun!

                       

Beer Choices: They had $2 Bud Light. That’s really all I needed. But yes, they had a surprisingly diverse beer menu for a hole in the wall bar. Yeungling, Stella and many of your other big name beers. The funniest part about the booze in this joint is that you hafta buy your beers in this bar and then bring it over to the strip club. AC has some weird law where the strip clubs can’t serve booze if they show completely NEKKED womens, so to get around it, some of the strippy strips require you to bring your own beer. It’s truly a wonderful scene watching grown men pay $15 bucks for a 6 pack and get walked over to the strip club by a stripper to watch them strip. The circle of life, indeed. 

The History of WCW SuperBrawl (1997)

SuperBrawl VII - Cow Palace - 2.23.97

We've entered the first full year of the nWo era, when WCW was killing the WWF every week in the ratings.  Hogan & co. had taken the company by storm, winning most of the belts, and by this point even Eric Bischoff had joined the heel supergroup, which put them more or less "in charge" of everything.  It got to where nWo guys would lose a belt and Bischoff would just reverse the decision the next night and give the title back to his buddies.  This of course begs the question, "Why bother having the match then?"  But whatever, it was working like crazy for ratings in 1997.  Between that and the wild Cruiserweight action, Nitro had become destination TV, while RAW scrambled to counter it with anything they could think of.  The WCW PPVs on the other hand suffered a lot due to the overemphasis on storylines over in-ring action.  SuperBrawl VII is one such example...

Once again, Dusty Rhodes joined Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan on commentary, more often than not blathering on about god-knows-what and offering little to no insight.  No disrespect meant to Dusty, but as a color commentator he was approximately as bad as Booker T is now.

Syxx vs. Dean Malenko was a solid Cruiserweight opener, with Malenko out for revenge against Syxx for insulting his father.  Malenko laid into Mr. Waltman from the opening bell and dominated the first half, even pulling Syxx up during two early pin attempts so he could inflict more punishment.  Syxx came back in the second half and was about to hit Dean with the belt until Eddie Guerrero ran down and tried to yank the belt away, only to lose his grip on it, allowing Syxx to whack Malenko in the face and score the pin.  A decent match but already with the run-ins??

Gee, I wonder where this is gonna go....

Next up was a lucha showcase six-man with Konnan, La Parka and Villano IV facing Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo and Ciclone.  This was your basic late 90s spotfest with everyone doing as much as possible in nine minutes.  At one point Ciclone went for a twisting Asai moonsault and completely missed Villano, landing on his face on the floor.  Late in the match they broke out some over-the-top moves that involved all six guys (like four of them doing "The Star" while La Parka put Guerrera in a Mexican surfboard in the center).  Finally Konnan nailed Juvi with Splash Mountain to win a pretty sloppy but mildly entertaining schmozz.

The next two matches were shaping up to be solid outings until outside nonsense happened.  TV Champion Prince Iaukea defended against Rey Mysterio in a fun little match that featured crisp action and some nice death-defying lucha stuff from Rey.  But then Steven Regal showed up at the end and cost Rey the match, pulling him off the ring apron in such a way that Rey hit his face on the apron and Iaukea was able to just pin him.  Stupid ending to a decent bout.

The History of WCW SuperBrawl (1996)

WCW was still running on the WWF's old fumes....

SuperBrawl VI - Bayfront Arena - 2.11.96

WCW was nearing the end of its full-on WWF-lite phase, and the landscape was about to change only a few months after this show.  But for now we're stuck in retread mode, and the results are once again quite tedious.  Here we go....

I've said it before but I can't stand listening to Dusty Rhodes' commentary.  His overuse of the phrases "If you weel" and "Dubya C Dubya, where da big boys play" is so beyond grating I wanna stab myself in the face.  Also when did Tony Schiavone begin using the word "telecast" every thirty seconds?  I don't remember him ever saying that word in the 80s.  Jeezus Christ Tony!

The show opened with a mildly entertaining garbage match between The Nasty Boys and Public Enemy, which at the time was probably considered pretty wild.  Both teams were pretty dull to watch in general but this match was a little fun at least.

The surprising hit of the night was TV Champ Johnny B. Badd vs. Diamond Dallas Page.  Pretty decent stuff here, as these guys had good chemistry.  Weird to see Badd go over here since he was WWF-bound a month later.  DDP was morphing into the solid hand he'd become during the nWo era.

Taker musta been pissed....

This show had three very disappointing matches, and the first was a Tag Title match; Harlem Heat vs. Sting & Luger.  A major letdown considering the talent involved.  Too much of this and the followup match against the Road Warriors was taken up with "Is Luger a good guy or a bad guy?"  No one looked terribly motivated.  Hawk & Animal interfered to give Sting & Luger the win (I guess stemming from their feud with Luger?).  Pretty weak.

The US Title was on the line next as Konnan defended against One Man Gang.  Jeezus this was terrible.  I was never impressed with Konnan to begin with, and seriously, someone thought the One Man Gang would get over in 1996??  Gang's offense looked beyond sluggish and one-dimensional, and Konnan was sloppy as all hell.  Konnan won with the worst-looking cannonball-type move ever.  Brutally awful.

Speaking of awful, next was an "I Respect You" strap match between Kevin Sullivan and Brian Pillman.  Now correct me if I'm wrong, but is being forced to say the phrase "I respect you" really that much of a blow to someone's pride?  You can very easily have respect for someone you dislike; it's not like an "I Quit" match where you're admitting you got beaten.  Anyway, Pillman infamously went off-script here and surrendered 45 seconds into the match "I respect you, Booker Man!", and Arn Anderson was sent out as a sub.  Anderson and Sullivan plodded through about three minutes before Ric Flair broke up the fight and got them on the same page, uniting them against Hulk Hogan.  Utterly pointless.

Brewery Reviewery: Definitive Brewing (Portland, ME)

Our Portland, Maine Brewery Reviewery series continues with Definitive Brewing!

Definitive Brewing

35 Industrial Way

Portland ME 04103

Located next to the Beermuda Triangle as I like to call it (Battery Steele, Austin Street and Foundation), right across the street from Allagash, is a standalone building that houses Definitive Brewing.  Definitive boasts a big variety of flavors and offers a really inviting, wide open tasting room with a full view of the brewing floor.  They're dog-friendly so on this day we met a slew of adorable four-legged pals, and there's a bookcase full of board games to keep you busy (I lost at Jenga but was victorious at the old-school game Shoot the Moon, where you have to manipulate a ball bearing uphill across two metal rails - I made it to Jupiter).

Famous Portland landmark Holy Donuts had a table that day, so we tried a couple of their tasty offerings as well.  These are decadent donuts, folks.

But I'm no donut expert, I'm here to talk about beer.  Definitive lets you order full pours or flights, so we split a double-flight of eight beers, allowing us to try all but the two sours on tap; sour beers are not our thing, sadly.  Let's hit it....

NJPW Dominion 2019: Ospreay Steals the Show, Ibushi Almost Dies

Welp, Dominion 2019 was definitely not on the level of 2018, or 2017, or 2015.  But then those three editions are three of the best PPVs I've ever seen.  Still I have to consider this show, very good though it may have been, as a mild disappointment.  I've come to expect Dominion to automatically be a Show of the Year contender, and this wasn't that.  Fortunately it was a sellout and set up some cool stuff for the future, but I was expecting a grand slam and they only hit a triple.

Before we get to Dominion though, I wanted to talk a little about the three big matches from the Best of the Super Juniors finals, because that show concluded with a trilogy of superb stuff.

Jay White and Hiroshi Tanahashi had a pretty excellent little match, where the returning but still very much hurting Tana muscled through and still managed to deliver.  White concentrated on Tana's surgically repaired elbow for much of the bout and played the asshole to a tee.  Side note: I love White's new facial hair, it somehow makes him look much more like a main event heel.  At one point Gedo distracted the referee allowing White to hit a low blow, but it backfired as Tana hit a low blow of his own and rolled him up for a very close nearfall.  Tana went for the Cloverleaf but White grabbed the injured arm and converted it into a cradle for the three-count.  This was maybe the best match these two have had so far and they did a great job of masking Tana's limitations while letting their characters drive the action.  Oddly Tana's injuries are somehow *less* exposed in a singles bout than in a six-man.  More on that later.  Damn good match.  ****

Even better was Jon Moxley's US Championship debut against Juice Robinson.  These two guys had a rugged, ugly, austere fight, where Moxley busted up Juice's eyebrow early on, using punches and biting to draw some blood.  They used tables and brawled a lot on the outside to evoke a Terry Funk-type vibe, and this was the hardest I've seen Moxley work in quite some time.  He really did come off like a man freed of WWE's creative constraints and seemed to be having the time of his life.  Juice, his dreadlocks shorn (I'm not sure how I feel about this), has reinvented himself as a more serious, tough babyface and dished out just as much punishment as he took.  The match culminated with a series of reversals, and Moxley hit his signature DDT, but Juice kicked out and the place went wild.  Moxley then hit another DDT but this time with elevation, to capture the US Title.  Moxley is now the only man to hold both the WWE and IWGP US Championships, and the first debuting star to win a New Japan title since AJ Styles five years ago.  This was exactly the kind of debut match I wanted to see from Moxley and I can't wait to see him in the G1 tournament.  Helluva fight.  ****1/2

Not to be outdone, by anyone, Will Ospreay and Shingo Takagi blew the motherfuckin' roof off the place with their BOSJ final.  Ospreay, who has emerged as NJPW's newest breakout star, and Shingo, who has absolutely crushed it since debuting with the company last fall, pulled out all the stops in a 33-minute war that felt like 18.  I won't even try to recap everything they did, but a few of the really memorable moments included Ospreay hitting a 630 senton on Shingo's back, followed by a shooting star press, an apron OsCutter, a Shingo Last of the Dragon that looked absolutely crippling, Ospreay kicking out after two Pumping Bombers, and finally the top rope OsCutter followed by the Stormbreaker to hand Shingo his first New Japan defeat.  Just a fucking incredible battle that nothing on the Dominion show could possibly have followed.  Ospreay then announced that he is moving to Japan and will wrestle in both the Jr. and Heavyweight divisions.  This guy has to be a top G1 finisher, and should probably win next year's tournament.  Goddamn, this was insane.  *****

Brewery Reviewery: Foundation Brewing Company (Portland, ME)

Stop #4 on our Portland, Maine brewery tour brings us to Foundation Brewing Company, also located on Industrial Way, across from Allagash.  Foundation shares walls with Battery Steele and Austin Street, in a building I like to call The Beermuda Triangle (trademark pending).

FOUNDATION BREWING COMPANY

1 Industrial Way #5

Portland, ME 04103

Like its neighbors, Foundation is nestled in a modest warehouse space, but they make the most of it, with a bright, lively atmosphere, plenty of seating and shelves of board games to keep you occupied while you enjoy some lovely flavor.  You can either peruse their wide-ranging, ample selection with flights or treat yourself to full pours, or pick up some to-go cans.  We went with the flight option so as to get four samples, but there were no fewer than ten options on offer (our dinner reservations downtown sadly wouldn't permit a second flight).

Here's what we came up with...

Dreamboat (NEIPA, 6.6%): Dreamboat is a New England IPA featuring Columbus and Eureka! hops. Our first IPA brewed with an American Ale yeast. Dreamboat pours a golden yellow with a pronounced haze. The soft mouthfeel is like floating on clouds, with no bitterness and flavors of pineapple and resin, with a dank backbone. First served in the tasting room on draft in December 2018.

JB: This here is a smooth NEIPA, citrusy with that pleasant dankness to give it some real complexity.  Probably my favorite of the bunch.

Parents' Night In #20: 2001 A Space Odyssey - Kelly's Live Reaction!

Kelly has never seen 2001: A Space Odyssey.  I know, disgraceful.  But for this special PNI episode we capture her live, real-time reaction to the film.  Spoiler alert: Stanley Kubrick breaks her brain!

Join us as we enjoy some craft beer and watch one of Justin's all-time favorite films, which has now become one of Kelly's as well.  If 2001 was Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece (and most would agree it was), then PNI Episode #20 discussing 2001 is ours!

Thanks for watching!  Like, Subscribe, and Share!

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NJPW Dominion 2019 Preview & Predictions

Big goings-on in New Japan these days, not the least of which is this Sunday's Dominion card!  

The Best of the Super Juniors tournament came to a close on Wednesday, and for the second time Will Ospreay has emerged victorious, unseating the previously undefeated Shingo Takagi, who swept all nine of his regular tourney matches.  So Shingo is the 2007 New England Patriots then.  Not to be outdone however, the debuting Jon Moxley made huge waves by capturing the IWGP US Title from Juice Robinson, becoming the first man to hold both the WWE and IWGP versions of said championship.  Both guys have compelling matchups on the Dominion card, but there's a whole lot more to boot.  Let's get to it.

Jon Moxley vs. Shota Umino

What a strange placement for the US Champ, in a last-minute opener against the most promising current Young Lion.  But if given time this should be pretty great.  Umino of course had a fantastic New Japan Cup showing against Hiroshi Tanahashi, and this match almost feels like an after-the-fact audition for Moxley in a way.  Now that he's proven himself against another gaijin/NXT alum he'll get a real taste of native New Japan opposition.

Justin: Moxley is obviously winning
Landon: Moxely kills Shotime.

Shingo Takagi vs. Satoshi Kojima

Another strange undercard match that should nonetheless be fun pits BOSJ runner-up Shingo against veteran Kojima.  I wonder if this means Shingo will be moving up to heavyweight; he is after all massive compared to the other Juniors, and his stablemate Takahashi is returning soon.  Even better, maybe he'll be in the G1.  Seems like another audition of sorts to me.  But I expect a fine bout.

Justin: Shingo gets his first heavyweight division win
Landon: Shingo to win. Still upset he didn't win the BOSJ.

The History of WCW SuperBrawl (1995)

No WCW.....don't do it!

Ah crap, they did it.....

SuperBrawl V - Baltimore Arena - 2.19.95

Welp, this was only two months removed from the dreadful Starrcade '94, at a time when Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff had taken everything that made WCW what it was and chucked it out the goddamn window (except Ric Flair, whom they kept around just to torture for seven more years).  The result was a mostly horrible in-ring product with a bunch of recognizable stars from the old WWF, plus a few guys whose inclusion on the roster absolutely baffles me.

It should be noted that an Arn Anderson-Johnny B. Badd TV Title match was on the pre-show and got a whopping four-and-a-half minutes.  Remember this as you read the list of luminaries that actually made the main card.  Fuckin' hell.....

First up we have Alex Wright vs. Paul Roma, in what was a pretty nondescript opener apart from a few clever moves by Wright.  Not sure why he was facing half of a tag team, but whatever.  He had solid potential but never really lived up to it.  Roma played a good douchebag but was more or less irrelevant by 1995.  Wright won with a rollup after shoving Roma into Orndorff.

The less said about this next match the better.  Jim Duggan vs. Bunkhouse Buck.  Holy shit this match was boring.  Two inept brawlers slogging through an eleven-minute match.  What kinda generic-ass gimmick is Bunkhouse Buck?  A farmer guy.  That's it.  Awful stuff.  Duggan won with the lamest-looking clothesline ever.

I'm in hell.  Next up is Kevin Sullivan vs. Dave Sullivan - also terrible.  Dave Sullivan was of course Kevin's younger brother (not in real life), who moved as though in slow motion.  Where did WCW get all these hack wrestlers in the mid 90s?  Evad, Bunkhouse, The Renegade; all of them useless.  This was just about as dull as the previous match and ended mercifully when Kevin rolled Dave up and hooked the tights.  Who in God's name thought Kevin Sullivan was relevant enough in 1995 to have a singles feud with his pretend brother?  Hilariously enough Brutus Beefcake, the main event challenger from Starrcade '94 two months earlier, was Kevin Sullivan's sidekick in the third match on this show.

Seriously, who was shelling out 30 bucks to see this??