Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Storrow’s Revenge

by Mike Berk
@DukeofRandolph

http://www.boston.com/news/local-news/2016/08/30/truck-gets-stuck-on-storrow-drive

Well Enuffa.com fans, its been another long hot summer in Boston and as Mother Nature finally decides to open her legs and let the heat out of her nether regions, that can only mean one thing -  students are coming back to Boston. And that also means morons will decide that their 14-foot rented U-haul will definitely squeak under the bridges on Storrow Drive.

It seems like once a week now trucks are getting stuck on Storrow. I recall a brand new Boston Fire Department truck trying its hand at squinching under a 9-foot overpass with their 16-foot rig.


According to the Wiki page I just Googled, “The parkway is named for James J. Storrow, an investment banker who led a campaign to create the Charles River Basin and preserve and improve the riverbanks as a public park. He had never advocated a parkway beside the river, and his widow publicly opposed it.”

I have no idea who Storrow is, but I can see why he is angry - he never wanted a massive roadway with his namesake on it. Someone must have pissed him off something fierce though. In fact I think I just pissed him off - as I write this, my second bathroom toilet* is phantomly running. It must be Storrow’s Revenge!!

I'm coining the phrase Storrow’s Revenge!


It has to be revenge, an investment banker thinking of ways to get money from the public.  I'm sure he decided to put low bridges on his road and gobble up trucks that dare to pass. How can anyone be that stupid to drive a truck on his road??

This major crosstown parkway feasts on box trucks like I devour General Gau's at a Chinese buffett.

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Monday Night RAW: Kevin Owens is The Man


Over the past week on RAW, due to inaugural Universal Champion Finn Balor's untimely injury, WWE was forced to book a do-over.  We had the first round of an eight-man tournament where the winners faced off in a four-way elimination match to crown the second Champion.  Our options were the obvious choice of Seth Rollins (a former WWE Champ who carried the WWE brand for most of last year), Roman Reigns (the company favorite whom they're still trying to push as a top babyface despite fan revulsion), Kevin Owens (a fantastic upper echelon heel seemingly ready for breakout status), and Big Cass (Huh??).

I was fully expecting WWE to go the safe route and book a three-month Reigns vs. Rollins feud, with Reigns either chasing Rollins or Reigns winning and then maybe doing a gradual double-turn.  But WWE wisely realized they needed something big to happen here, and that's what we got.  Triple H made a surprise return, helping Rollins eliminate Reigns and then just as we were all expecting Owens to meet the same fate, BOOM!  Triple H double-crossed his old protege, allowing Kevin Owens to win the Universal Title.  Now this I like!

Word is that prior to Balor's injury, Owens was lined up to be his first challenger.  We'd have been treated to some classic bouts, as Balor vs. Owens yielded two excellent NXT Title matches in 2015.  But now it appears Rollins will turn babyface (finally!) and take Balor's place in this feud, albeit as a challenger.  I said months ago when Rollins came back that he should be the avenging angel, back to reclaim the Championship he never lost.  Now finally we seem to be getting that scenario.

I assume Reigns will move back down the card to finish his business with Rusev and maybe win the US Title (This wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, having another WrestleMania headliner/former WWE Champ as the US Champ), while Owens and Rollins feud over RAW's top belt.  Rollins will now be working against Triple H's handpicked Champion and I have to think will eventually face Hunter himself at WrestleMania 33.  We could also see Owens' buddy Chris Jericho added to the title mix, creating tension within JeriKO.  All of those prospects are exciting and fresh, and if WWE doesn't screw this up (Big IF), we could be in for an intriguing fall season for a change (Historically the fall tends to be creatively the worst few months on WWE's calendar).

Between Owens vs. Rollins, Ambrose vs. Styles, Orton vs. Wyatt, Miz vs. Bryan's surrogate, and Charlotte vs. Bayley, there's a lot to keep us entertained through this new era of excessive PPVs.  It's a rarity during these brand splits for both shows to actually present something worth seeing, but WWE may be about to accomplish that feat for the first time.

What they need to do with Owens, to avoid him falling into the "Hunter's Bitch" designation like Rollins and Orton did previously, is have him fully enlist Hunter's help even when it's not necessary.  Rollins and Orton were determined to make it on their own but The Authority kept having to bail them out.  Owens should be clearly portrayed as good enough to do his own dirty work, but entitled enough that he's always counting on Hunter to get him out of sticky situations.  Then he should be indignant when Hunter doesn't come through.  That way it's more like Hunter is acting as Owens' right-hand man instead of the opposite.  And Owens is so good at being the trash-talking heel who thinks he'll always be able to back it up, this should work splendidly.  I like where this could be going.

They should keep that belt on Owens until Balor returns and set up a big match at 'Mania; if they truly are all-in on Balor there's no better way to re-coronate him.

It's a little early to fully celebrate, given WWE's track record, but contrary to my expectations the brand split is kinda sorta goin' okay so far....

Wrestling Do-Overs: The Invasion Angle, part 5 (Invasion PPV)

We've reached the first official in-ring appearances of Team WCW.  Part 4 can be found HERE.


RAW After King of the Ring

Vince comes out and says that after watching Kurt Angle beat his son to within an inch of his life at King of the Ring, he's come to realize how important it is to protect what he holds dear.  That means both his family and the company he built.  Since the end of March, the WWF has been under attack, and he's watched his employees suffer repeatedly at the hands of a bunch of lawless hooligans.  But when he watched his son Shane take the worst beating of his life to protect the family business, that lit a fire under him, and now the line is drawn in the sand.  The WWF will not stand for this any longer.  "Eric Bischoff, you want a war?  In four weeks there will be a WWF PPV event, and if you and your band of pirates have the cojones to show up, you'll get a war!  We'll call the event....INVASION!!"

It's announced that Chris Benoit suffered an injury during the Triple Threat match and its aftermath, and will be out indefinitely (real-life neck injury), but Chris Jericho has asked for a one-on-one Title match with Steve Austin tonight!

Undertaker and Kane will enact their Tag Title rematch clause next week against The Dudley Boyz, after Sting appeared and cost them the belts.

Edge has a coronation segment after winning the King of the Ring tournament, and Christian shows signs of jealousy, teasing a breakup.

Austin vs. Jericho is the main event.  The two have an excellent 15-minute match free of interference, and Austin counters a Lionsault and hits the Stunner to retain.  As he's celebrating, Bischoff appears on the Titantron.  "Congrats on another win Steve.  Tell your boss Vince that I accept his challenge at Invasion.  Whaddya say we each put together a five-man team for the main event of that show?  You pick your four best WWF pals, and I'll assemble my WCW contingent.  Let's see, we have WCW Champion Booker T, Goldberg, Ric Flair, Sting......I guess that leaves one spot open.  I wonder if we can find one more guy....."  Bischoff says to someone off-screen, "What do you think?"  The camera pans over and it's Hollywood Hulk Hogan!  "Uncle Eric, I think I'm wide open on July 22nd.  I will see you at Invasion!"


The announcers go bananas as RAW goes off the air.


The Next Week

Vince announces the members of Team WWF at Invasion.  It will be the WWF Champion Steve Austin leading the team of Triple H, Kurt Angle, Chris Jericho, and The Big Show!

Monday, August 29, 2016

Remembering Gene Wilder (1933-2016)

by Mike Berk
@DukeofRandolph



Mr. Wonka has died.

Jerome Silberman, better known to the world as Gene Wilder, has died from what the interwebs stated was complications from Alzheimers. A nasty illness if I've ever heard of one.

What wasn't nasty was Mr. Silberman's - ahem - Mr. Wilder's career. A beloved actor on the silver screen, he starred in so many of your father's favorite movies - Blazing Saddles, Young Frankstein (Franken-STEEN - my apologies), Willy Wonka and The Producers to name just a few.

He also teamed up with Richard Pryor a few times to produce some decent flicks - Silver Streak, Stir Crazy and See No Evil, Hear No Evil.

But I'll always remember him as Willy Wonka - the titular character of one of my favorite movies growing up.  His grand entrance alone could be the subject of a semester in film school. Why the limp, why the purple coat, why all the hullabaloo....



Another great scene from Willy Wonka:



He rarely acted after the 90s - maybe he was battling the disease then, maybe he knew when to get out and leave 'em wanting more.

If I believed in this sorta thing - I'd say he and Richard Pryor are up in heaven making more movies together, and eventually Mel Brooks will be there with them to direct Blazing Saddles 2 (Dammit - President Skroob can't die).

RIP Mr. Wonka - thank you for all your movies. GOOD DAY SIR!!!!!!!!!

The Jaws Movies, Ranked

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal


In honor of the Jaws franchise all heading to Netflix in September, here now are all the Jaws flicks ranked in order, from worst to best. Bear in mind, I have an unhealthy obsession with one of them. I’ll let you decide which.



JAWS 3

Easily the worst of the bunch. This one was made back when 3-D was the next hot thing but also the next hot garbage because the technology SUCKED. Bland performances, forgettable 3-D effects and the worst use of Dennis Quaid and Lou Gossett Jr. ever.  You wanna see these two masters go at it, go find a movie called Enemy Mine that has Quaid in a bad fake beard and Jr. covered in makeup resembling some sort of fish pussy. It’s TREMENDOUS.

A homeless man and a squid walk into a bar...




JAWS 2

The least offensive of the sequels. It’s got most of the original actors playing their original parts. Even though Roy Scheider was forced to make this movie against his will, he doesn’t phone it in. His Chief Brody is still a determined and downright awesome public official. Sure, it’s ridiculous. Here comes another killer shark eating folk around Amity whilst the local bureaucratic big wigs don’t believe the Chief. The funniest parts about this one are when Brody goes to the Mayor and tells him they might have a shark problem AGAIN. Larry Vaughn wants NO part of this insane man’s ramblings about a great white eating more people. Just get the fuck out of his office so he can get a handy from Tabitha the secretary.

Jesus Christ, again with this shark shit, Marty??




JAWS

Please, stay with me here. The original is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen. I’ve watched it more times than I can count. All the actors are perfectly cast. The aforementioned Scheider, along with Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw were the ideal men to play these roles. The suspense of not seeing the shark for most of the movie works wonderfully. And the direction by Steven Speilberg is spot on. This movie is damn near perfect. But it’s lacking one thing…




JAWS THE REVENGE 

A MOTHERFUCKING SHARK THAT ROARS!!!

Who knew the shark was a Katy-Cat?

This movie has it all. Bad special effects. A lead character who was a minor player in the original suddenly pushed to the forefront because she had the good sense to be married to the guy who was releasing the movie.  A plot that’s IMPOSSIBLE. Follow along with me here. A shark, a fucking SHARK, has a vendetta against a very specific family and wants to kill them all so he (She? It? No clue)… FOLLOWS THEM FROM AMITY ISLAND TO THE BAHAMAS. It’s BONKERS. This movie is clearly in no way better than the original but goddammit it’s one of my favorite movies to watch. It’s so fucking bad I love it. It has no redeeming qualities at all BUT I CAN’T LOOK AWAY. I haven’t even touched on the fact that the way they kill the shark in this one is they bump into it with a boat and it FUCKING EXPLODES.

This "special effect" made it into a major Hollywood movie
The goddamn thing just blows right the fuck up, against all laws of nature, physics and movie law. Not only does it explode, it does so in the most unconvincing, awful special effect mine eyes have ever seen. Look, I’ll buy the shark wanting to kill them, the shark follows them, hell, I’ll buy the shark roaring at them. But it explodes for no earthly reason at all. This is the point in the movie where they lost me. Yeah, the end of this movie with a hitman shark blowing up is where I stopped suspending my disbelief. But make no mistake. I love this piece of shit. And I’ll be watching it way more times than is healthy now that it’s streaming. Don’t judge me.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Top Ten Things: Quentin Tarantino Films

Welcome to another edition of Enuffa.com's Top Ten Things, where I compile a list of ten of something and then demonstrate the arrogance to imply my opinion of them is undisputed fact.  Buuut who are we kiddin', it is....


Today I'll be discussing the films of one of my favorite writer/directors, Quentin Tarantino.  Exploding on the scene in 1992, Tarantino brought a "film geek" sensibility to Hollywood, having absorbed decades of movies while working as a video store clerk and using his natural stylistic ability to create a new genre of films.  He sold his first two screenplays to the studios before making his directorial debut with Reservoir Dogs, and then became a household name with his second film Pulp Fiction.  Since then Tarantino has created pastiches of crime dramas, samurai films, Westerns, and even horror movies with unabashed glee and incredible attention to memorable characters and quirky dialogue.  When you sit down to watch a Tarantino film you know you're getting an unforgettable (and likely very uncomfortable) cinematic experience.

Note: I'm including three films Tarantino wrote but didn't direct, as I felt they all warranted inclusion.  Also you'll find Death Proof didn't make the cut.  I absolutely love the first half of that film - the characters are strong and colorful, the villain is compelling, the style feels like a grindhouse flick.  But in the second half I found the characters fairly dull and overly chatty, and the climactic car chase is pretty uninteresting, not to mention QT inexplicably abandoned the "scratchy footage" gimmick.




10. From Dusk Till Dawn


Probably the lowest-quality of these ten films, From Dusk Till Dawn is nonetheless a skillfully-made roller coaster of a horror film starring an exceedingly compelling George Clooney and Tarantino himself as Seth and Richard Gecko, two escaped criminals attempting to reach the Mexican border before the authorities catch them.  On the way they take a family of three hostage and hijack their mobile home before stopping off at a Mexican strip club to await an associate.  The first half of the film plays out in typical Tarantino fashion, with playfully vulgar dialogue and high-tension standoffs, with director Robert Rodriguez lending his own visual style to the proceedings.  In the second half though the film takes a 90-degree turn when it's revealed the strip club is a vampire lair, and our protagonists must fight for their lives against a gaggle of bloodsuckers to make it till morning.  Structurally this plays out like a Romero zombie film but with a much more sardonic tone and a ton of uncomfortable laughs.  Clooney demonstrated in his first major Hollywood role what a strong leading man he was - Seth is an eminently likable bastard - and his chemistry with Tarantino is undeniable.  The two leads and scores of snappy lines of dialogue really carry this film past being a crappy horror film and into the realm of a loving homage.




9. Jackie Brown


The only direct adaptation he's ever written, Jackie Brown is based on Elmore Leonard's novel Rum Punch, and tells the story of a middle aged flight attendant who works for a gun-runner, smuggling cash into the country from Mexico.  Jackie gets caught by the Feds who recruit her to help bring down her boss Ordell, and she eventually concocts a plan to bring in Ordell's $500,000 in retirement money, in exchange for sparing her life.  However her real plan is to keep all the money for herself and disappear, and she befriends a bail bondsman who offers to help her.  This dialogue-driven heist film is smartly written and full of colorful characters, including Jackie (Pam Grier), the gun-runner Ordell (Samuel L. Jackson), the bail bondsman (Robert Forster), ATF agent Ray Nicolette (Michael Keaton), Ordell's girlfriend Melanie (Bridget Fonda), and his old buddy Louis (Robert DeNiro).  The complex story has a ton of moving parts but Tarantino's script keeps everything clear and pretty taut.  While this is a very fine film I've ranked it ninth mostly because it feels the least Tarantino-ish.  While he's made much of it his own, the story and most of the characters still belong to Leonard, who kept everything pretty toned down.  Thus QT's personality isn't as strongly felt as it might've been.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Top Ten Things: Essential Daniel Bryan Matches

Welcome to another edition of Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com! (Note: This was originally published just after Bryan's untimely retirement earlier this year.  **sniff**)


Today, not surprisingly, I have Daniel Bryan on the brain.  Following his untimely retirement on Monday I thought I'd compile a list of his essential matches, including many of his Ring of Honor highlights.  If you haven't seen any of his ROH work as Bryan Danielson you don't know what you're missing.  Unhampered by the "WWE style," Bryan was as innovative and skilled as anyone in the business, and frequently put together matches in excess of 30 minutes.  Here now is a list of essential Daniel Bryan/Bryan Danielson matches....




10. Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan - Extreme Rules 2012 - 4.29.12


Here's the match we should've gotten at WrestleMania 28.  After Vince McMahon's 18-second booking snafu inadvertently made Daniel Bryan a star while dooming Sheamus's main event push, these two were given a chance for vindication at Extreme Rules in a 2/3 Falls Match.  Bryan relentlessly targeted Sheamus's left arm early on, eventually getting himself intentionally disqualified in the first fall before evening the match with a Yes Lock in the second.  The climactic third fall was an exciting back-and-forth affair until Sheamus once again caught Bryan with the Brogue Kick to retain the World Title.  Easily a show-stealing early MOTY candidate, and the first example of Bryan being effectively used as a top-tier star.




9. Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe - Fight of the Century - 8.5.06


In August 2006 Bryan Danielson was enjoying an ROH Title run on par with Joe's record-breaking reign of 2003-04.  The two of them would collide in an epic bout that lasted a full sixty minutes.  Danielson played the cocky-but-cowardly heel Champion to perfection, in a performance rivaling 1980s Ric Flair.  This was the first Danielson match I ever saw, and I was immediately hooked.  Joe spent the early portions of the match chasing Bryan around before finally dominating him for much of the encounter.  Joe would come up just short of regaining the belt, but the live crowd ate this up, chanting "Five More Minutes" at the end.  Quite possibly my favorite 60-minute draw.




8. Takeshi Morishima vs. Bryan Danielson - Manhattan Mayhem II - 8.25.07


Another of Danielson's ROH feuds against a much larger opponent took place in 2007, as he found himself challenging the new monster heel Champion Takeshi Morishima.  Morishima was on loan from Pro Wrestling NOAH and took a similar role as Samoa Joe (who was now TNA-exclusive).  Danielson held his own against the Japanese powerhouse in this 20-minute Strong Style war in which he suffered a detached retina from one of Morishima's strikes.  Bryan failed to capture the belt here but faced Morishima twice more that year to settle their feud.

Friday, August 26, 2016

Top Ten Things: Wrestlers Who Made Championships (2000 - Present)

by Landon Wayne
@LSWayne21


The discussion comes up all the time. Does the wrestler make the title or does the title make the wrestler? There’s certainly no straight answer, as both statements can be proven as true throughout a title’s lifespan. But for today, I’m focusing more on those wrestlers who made their belts feel important. Those champions who elevated their title to grander heights. The requirements to be on this list are simple; the wrestlers on this list had to leave the belt looking better than when they first won it. Whether it’s with long reigns, great defenses, or by the reputation of the winner solely, these ten men took their prizes and shined them up real nice for the wrestlers that followed.



10) Gregory Helms as the Cruiserweight Champion


This one may just come from personal bias and nostalgia, but I think the selection is still valid. Gregory Helms has three recorded title reigns, one in WCW, one as The Hurricane, and this particular title reign that started at the Royal Rumble of 2006. In the year and change that followed, Helms was able to defend the title numerous times against a variety of opponents. He was also pitted in a few Champion vs Champion matches, against the likes of Chris Benoit, Rey Mysterio, and Bobby Lashley. Unfortunately, the prestige and importance of the belt remained near unchanged in the eyes of the Smackdown powers that be, usually opening PPVs, if not lost in the shuffle entirely. Within a year of losing the championship it would become inactive. Gregory places 10th on this list, but not for a lack of trying.



9) John Cena as the United States Champion 


The WWE put serious effort into making the U.S. Title mean something. Cena won the U.S. Title from Rusev at Wrestlemania 31, and what followed was a solid three months of weekly defenses, all in quality matches, plus two successful PPV defenses against former Champ Rusev. Following was a trio of fantastic matches with the debuting Kevin Owens. Finally losing the TV title to ROH World Champ-- I mean U.S title to WWE Champion Seth Rollins, Cena did his damndest to make the title mean something with his great reign. Unfortunately, the luster on the belt would not last. In the same length of Cena’s reign, the title changed hands five separate times. Nice try, Big Match John.



8) Austin Aries as the TNA X-Division Champion


Like Gregory Helms earlier in the list, Austin Aries held the X-Division title in TNA longer than anyone before him. Unlike Helms, though, Aries was able to use his status as a champion to be propelled to greater things. During his reign, Aries began his destined rise to the top, starting to challenge heavyweights, all while also defending his X-Division title. Eventually, Aries capitalized by creating “Option C”, wherein he surrendered his title in exchange for a World Title shot. Aries' effect on the X-division title lasted longer than with the Cruiserweight and U.S. titles, though it would return to its hot potato, spotfest status eventually.


Thursday, August 25, 2016

Top Ten Things: Christian Bale Roles

Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com, where I rattle off ten things I like (Duh...).


Today I'll be talking about probably my favorite film actor in the world today, the eminently gifted Christian Bale.  I first became aware of Bale in 2000 (I'd seen him in a couple films prior to that but had no idea who he was), and from that point I was fascinated by this charismatic, chameleonic actor.  For a few years it seemed he'd simply be a cult hero, but starting in 2005 he became a household name playing one of the most iconic characters of all time.  Since then his filmography has been a mesmerizing blend of crowd-pleasing blockbusters and smaller, more challenging roles, but the constant throughout has been Bale's complete dedication to the characters he portrays.  Known for wildly changing his appearance and accent for each role, Bale often becomes unrecognizable from film to film, and for me it makes each new performance an event.

Here are my ten favorite Christian Bale performances.....



10. Dan Evans (3:10 to Yuma)


This 2007 remake starred Russell Crowe as adventurous, charming outlaw Ben Wade, and Bale in the somewhat thankless role of rancher Dan Evans, deputized to bring him to justice.  But even as the taciturn protagonist Bale still imbued his character with considerable pathos and we root for him to succeed over the much more outgoing villain.  A lesser actor might've played Evans as a morose bore, but Bale's natural onscreen magnetism makes his character an honorable, reluctant hero and an excellent foil for the bankrobbing assassin.




9. Alfred Borden/Fallon (The Prestige)


Bale's character in Christopher Nolan's period piece makes an unexpected transition from shifty tortured artist to sympathetic protagonist.  The Prestige centers around Alfred Borden's professional-turned-personal rivalry with fellow magician Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman), and at the outset Bale's character seems the clear antagonist, seemingly so consumed with his profession that he cannot relate to other people.  But as the film progresses we sympathize more with Borden and his ingenieur Fallon, as Angier's obsession with destroying Borden consumes him.  Bale adeptly handles this character transition (as well as the surprise double role), manipulating our sympathies with prodigious skill.  Incidentally Borden is the only character on this list whom Bale played with anything close to his real Welsh accent.




8. Michael Burry (The Big Short)


Contributing to Bale's reputation as a chameleon was his Oscar-nominated turn as eccentric investor Michael Burry, the antisocial drumming enthusiast with a glass eye from The Big Short.  Much of his screen time in this film was spent behind his desk and on the phone with various colleagues and bankers, but Bale made the character both memorable and amusing, as Burry comes off as the smartest (and weirdest) dude in the room.  As the film wears on, Burry goes from a cocksure know-it-all to quietly increasing desperation; the housing bubble he's predicted will burst shows no signs of doing so until after he's lost himself and his colleagues millions.  As usual Bale conveys this character arc with a proficient dedication to the character.


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Top Ten Things: Wrestling Championship Belts

Welcome to another Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!

Today I'm talking about a rather topical subject in wrestling: championship belt design.  With the WWE unveiling the disappointing, phoned-in Universal Title design (Just like the World Title, but RED!) and the also-phoned-in-but-for-some-reason-I-kinda-like-'em Smackdown Tag Team and Women's Titles (for some reason the blue and silver combination really works), I thought now was as good a time as any to discuss some of the all-time great belt designs various companies have utilized over the years.  For decades the WWF generally seemed to have the most eye-catching belt configurations, but in recent years other companies have somewhat surged ahead in this area.  With the advent of this new Universal Title I fear the company is endeavoring to make all their belts look the same, a la UFC.  To me that's both uncreative and bad business - if you're trying to sell loads of belt replicas wouldn't you want each one to look unique?

A great-looking belt design can add a sense of grandeur to a title, helping elevate it beyond simply being a prop, to being one of the richest prizes in the game and a symbol of excellence.  Of course a lot of that also depends on who wears the strap, but a championship belt needs to look like something for which every wrestler would be willing to risk it all.

Anyway, here are my ten favorite championship belt designs of all time....



10. WWE US Title (current)


Probably the least conventional of the designs on this list, the WWE version of the US Title uses the American flag as the center plate background, with images of the Statue of Liberty on the side plates.  While the NWA and WCW versions of the belt sported understated stars and stripes imagery, the WWE version just took it one step further, conveying literally the idea of a United States Champion.




9. WWF Intercontinental Title (1985-1998, current)


For years this was the best-designed belt in the WWF.  When the "Winged Eagle" belt was adopted in 1988, the Intercontinental Title became physically the largest belt in the company, and for a long time this was the top belt for the in-ring workhorses.  It displayed a simple, blocky design (which was borrowed by both WCW and ECW for some of their belts) with the side plates all carrying the company logo behind the image of two wrestlers grappling.  This design was so successful the company went back to it in 2011, after the rather bland Attitude Era design was discontinued.  It's kinda sad the best-looking current WWE Championship is the one recycled from the 80s.




8. ROH World Title (current)


The first of two Ring of Honor designs on this list, the current ROH World Title boasts one of the most stunningly ornate center plate designs I've ever seen.  The leaves climbing up the sides are created in incredible detail and bring to mind Roman gladitorial games, while the red highlights give the title a sense of urgency.  This is truly a prize to fight over.


Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Wastin' Away Again in Whopperritoville......

Introducing our newest Enuffa.com contributor, expert in garbage cuisine, and good friend Sok Maher (Proununced Sook, as in “Look, it’s Sook, he has more shitty food with him”). He dared tackle Burger King’s newest menu item today.  

Wastin' Away Again in Whopperritoville... Searchin' for myyyy lost packet of sauce. 
(The Definitive Whopperrito Review)


This was clearly the first Whopperrito of the day, as I overheard an employee remark, "Hey, I've never made one of these yet... Where's the level?" While I am unsure of how precisely parallel it is to the floor, I am sure that it was an enjoyable eat. Not outstanding. Not life-changing. Is it better than a Doritos Locos Taco? No. That is more due to my unwavering love for Doritos than anything. Let's go to the tale of the tape (All scores based on a 1 - 5 system, 5 being the best)....


Flavor - 3

I'm just not a Whopper guy really. In Dracut/Lowell the BK is (was?) two plots down from the McDonald's. I think I've been to that BK less than five times in my entire life. But there is nothing that makes this an "-ito" aside from the soft tortilla shell... No Mexican spices. No traditional burrito add-ons like sour cream, guac, or beans. Or maybe I'm just not a Whopper guy.


Price - 4

Just over $3. The meal, which includes a drink, fries, and a mule is like $7. I'm severly underestimating the cost of making mediocre fries and fountain beverages. I am guessing if you have the app, they are practically giving these things away. But that combo meal price is just too alto for this chico.


Food Quantity - 5 

This is where the Whopperrito shines (if you're obese). One Whopperrito with no sides left me with that delightful feeling of contentness. Now, could I eat another? Please stop reading now if you think not. But two would fully satisfy a hungry Sok, while one will satiate my appetite in between feedings. 5/5!!!


Intangibles - 2

The Whopperrito name is gold, Jerry. Gold. But that's about it. This is essentially a half step away from emptying a chicken caesar wrap and filling it with a blended Whopper. If you know a better way to get soft tortilla shells, I'm all ears.


Overall - 3

The only fun thing about the Whopperrito is saying it. And maybe wondering why an employee needs a level to make one. I guess the only way to properly rate the Whopperrito is to rank it with the other gimmick foods.


My list...

Lobster Roll (McD) < Double Down (KFC) < Mozzarella Sticks (McD) < Whopperrito (BK) < Hot Dog (BK) < McRib (McD) < Doritos Locos Taco (TB) < Famous Bowl (KFC).

So there you have it. Whopperrito is better than McDonald's mozzarella sticks. I guess I could have saved like 400 words and just put it that way.


The History of NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn II

The second annual Brooklyn NXT special is in the books.  Let's see what went down....



Brooklyn II - Barclays Center - 8.20.16

Yet another banner showing for the NXT brand, Brooklyn II solidified the tradition of NXT setting the tone for SummerSlam weekend and keeping the main roster on its toes.  For the second straight year, NXT sold out the Barclays Center and unleashed a barrage of good-to-great matches, debuted some new faces, and made history.

The show opened with veteran Austin Aries taking on the fun-loving No Way Jose, who decided to get a little serious after weeks of being bullied by A-Double.  Aries' technique matched up well with Jose's unorthodox style, and the two put on a strong 12-minute opener that ended with Aries tapping Jose with the Last Chancery.  A good showing for Aries and a nice first step in the evolution of Jose's character.

Next up was the debut match for Ember Moon, whose was presented with an intimidating air of mystique, complete with unnerving red contact lenses and a vampiric look.  Her opponent Billie Kay surprisingly got most of the offense, but the story here was Ember's resiliency, as she regained control and finished Billie off with a spectacular twisting Stunner off the top rope.  Great finisher, decent little match.


The final undercard bout was the televised in-ring debut of former TNA Champion Bobby Roode, who absolutely has WWE's music production team to thank for much of his instant overness.  That entrance theme is super hooky and has a heavy Queen influence.  Two days later and it's still stuck in my head.  Roode's opponent, Andrade Almas, is a lot of fun to watch in the ring, with innovative, quirky offense, but has yet to define who his character is supposed to be.  Roode on the other hand owns the ring character-wise but his offense is a bit lacking.  After a solid nine minutes of action Roode finished Almas with a banal pumphandle slam.  Surely he can come up with a better finisher than that.

The show kicked into high gear with the final three bouts, all of them for championships.  The Revival put on an absolute tag team clinic against Tomasso Ciampa and Johnny Gargano.  The bout started pretty methodical but dazzled in the second half, with insane counterwrestling and near-falls.  The crowd bought into every two-count and the last five minutes contained half a dozen believable false finishes.  At the end of the bout Dash Wilder hobbled Gargano with a chopblock, allowing Scott Dawson to submit him with a reverse figure four.  Helluva tag match, and yet another excellent showing from The Revival.


Monday, August 22, 2016

WWE SummerSlam: The Best Main Roster PPV of 2016 (by default)

Well it was quite a wrestling weekend to say the least.  Between the mostly excellent NXT TakeOver special (a full review will be forthcoming) and last night's SummerSlam (including pre-show matches) WWE gave us roughly 8.5 hours of wrestling.  Now, I'm as big a wrestling fan as anyone I know (Trust me, most people I know think I'm batshit insane because of how much I like this stuff), but 8.5 hours is a lot to ask anyone to commit to.

One thing that's so nice about the NXT specials is they're never longer than 150 minutes or so.  They never overstay their welcome.  But main roster PPVs these days aren't beholden to traditional PPV time constraints, and thus even the B-shows are starting to run 3.5 hours, while WrestleMania and Summerslam are each over four, plus two hours of preshow content.  By the end of the proper PPV you feel like you've been watching for days and the main event suffers because of it.  That's counterintuitive by anyone's standards.

So how was SummerSlam?  That's honestly a hard question to answer, given what a mixed bag it was.  This lineup was the most stacked in many years, with no fewer than four potential Match of the Year candidates (on paper anyway), plus a good amount of variety in the undercard.  Had the execution been stronger we'd likely be including SummerSlam 2016 in the "Greatest SummerSlam Ever" conversation.  But a few things kept it from reaching that level.  First though, let's talk about what did work.

Let me preface this by saying that there were no bad matches on this show.  I didn't dislike anything except the one match that turned into a non-match.

I would've liked to see Cesaro vs. Sheamus actually open the PPV, since these two always work well together and this was no exception.  It wasn't anything amazing but in the first slot this would've fit perfectly.  Sheamus won the first match of the series as I figured, and this was a fitting way to kick off the series (and should've kicked off the proper PPV).


The actual opening match, JeriKO vs. Enzo & Cass, was just fine but it was very strange to see Kevin Owens, seemingly on the verge of breakout status, relegated to an opening tag match (Though nowhere near as infuriating as Sami Zayn's position in a preshow tag match).  I figured this was all to set up a Jericho-Owens feud, but it looks like JeriKO could be destined for the Tag straps at some point soon.  I guess I'm okay with that.  It would certainly be a feather in Owens' cap to dethrone The New Day.  This was fine.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Landon's Top Ten G1 Climax Matches

by Landon Wayne
@LSWayne21

G1 Climax is over, and trying to boil down the top 10 out of over 90 matches is a Herculean Effort. And since I don’t feel like going mental over watching that much OVER again, I’m going to cop out and give you my 10 favorite matches from the G1, in no particular order. These are the highlight matches that I’d recommend to anyone. Now as a spoiler, the “semifinals” of Tanahashi/Okada and Naito/Omega and the Finals of the tournament will NOT be on this list. Because you shouldn’t need me to tell you to watch them. I will also not mention Okada vs Ishii, because Dave Meltzer gave it 5 stars, and that speaks for itself.


We’ll start with a trio of matches that I was really happy to see. SANADA vs Tanahashi, YOSHI-HASHI vs Kenny Omega, and Tama Tonga vs Tomohiro Ishii were showcases of just how much the three G1 rookies could really do. SANADA and YOSHI’s first matches in the tournament served to showcase them against two of the biggest stars in the company; SANADA playing a powerful and determined figure against consummate good guy Tanahashi, and YOSHI showing great fighting spirit against the leader of The Bullet Club. Tama Tonga’s G1 was a very slow start, but after picking up a victory against Tanahashi, he really started giving good performances, and his match against Ishii certainly proved to be his best. Though it was against Ishii, and trying to get a bad match out of the man is near impossible.

Two of my favorite matches from the tournament are matches that many may not have even considered. When Tetsuya Naito vs Yuji Nagata was over, I was surprisingly satisfied with what I had watched. The story of the match was diverted from Naito’s usual disrespect shtick. There seemed to be a slight change in Naito’s disposition here. In his matches with Tanahashi and Okada, you can see his disdain for the men at the top of the hill, but with Nagata that wasn’t present. You could see the respect he had for the man he faced, many times treating him as a more legitimate threat than many would, and in that way made the veteran seem great throughout the match. Now let’s talk about Kenny Omega vs Toru Yano, and what was possibly my favorite match before the semifinals happened. I knew this match would be an enjoyable experience, Kenny with his DDT and PWG experience and Yano being Yano. But the 9 minutes this match lasted were enjoyable from bell to bell. Low blows, hair pulls, distracted refs and exposed turnbuckles made this a tear-rending comedy for the ages.


Michael Elgin vs Katsuyori Shibata certainly gets a nod for the significance of a Champion vs. Champion contest, a rarity in New Japan anytime except for the tournament. The match itself was exciting, showing the two different kinds of power a wrestler can hold, exhibiting the physical feats of Elgin and the striking ability of Shibata. Another great “title” match up came from the A Block, when Hiroshi Tanahashi vs Naomichi Marufuji gave us the battle of the Aces. New Japan’s and NOAH’s bests came to blows near the end of the tournament, and will stand to be a great testament to both men and their companies. Another excellent once-in-a-year matchup came between EVIL vs Tetsuya Naito. Stablemates don’t fight often, and this was the first time (save possibly from Watanabe’s Young Boy days) that these two ever had a match. 20 minutes later the two were still fighting in a match not many may have given a chance. But you all should.


Finally, a look at the strong style of yesterday and the strong style of today. Tomohiro Ishii vs Togi Makabe was a very good condensed version of their NEVER Openweight feud of 2015. The two men beat the holy Tenryu out of each other, and gave everyone a very good show on the last day of A block matches. And Katsuyori Shibata vs Katsuhiko Nakajima proved to be everything everyone told me it would be. One match took Nakajima from zero to ten in my eyes, in what was a wonderfully crisp and painful match. Both matches showcase two mentalities of strong style; the rough and blunt style that Makabe and Ishii brought, and that sharp, fast pace that Shibata brought and Nakajima delivered right back. Truly, a pair of can’t miss performances.

WWE SummerSlam 2016 Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of Enuffa.com WWE PPV Predictions!


This Sunday is the #2 PPV on WWE's calendar, SummerSlam!  Like last year the show is in Brooklyn, the show will be four hours, and the show has the potential to be a classic.  Actually I found last year's SummerSlam a rather unexpected pleasure, one that for me easily upstaged WrestleMania 31.  This year's WrestleMania set the bar fairly low, and on paper the SummerSlam lineup bludgeons it to death with its own shoes.  There are at least three or four potential Match of the Year candidates on this show and I'm not sure which bout I'm most excited for.

The WWE brand split is in full effect, with predictably mixed results.  The good news is we have a bevy of marquee matchups on this card and a ton of star power.  The bad news is, WHERE THE FUCK IS SAMI ZAYN??  The guy won his feud with Kevin Owens while delivering a MOTY candidate, and they have nothing for him to do??  Move him to Smackdown where there's room then.  Christ!

Anyway, let's take a look at the lineup.

***Currently I'm two picks ahead of Dan, 29/43 to 27/43.***



Best of Seven Series, Match 1: Cesaro vs. Sheamus


I'm not sure why this needs to be a Best of Seven series, especially since they've already fought twice on RAW.  But I like this pairing.  I'd like it even more if Sheamus weren't damaged beyond repair.  Both of these guys should really be on the blue brand, as they're getting lost in the shuffle on the overcrowded RAW.  But this match should be a good, stiff slugfest.  Cesaro better come out of this feud with some real direction.

Justin's pick: I think Sheamus takes the first match in the series
Dan's pick: Dude, I dunno. This seems pointless to me. Cesaro.




Becky Lynch/Carmella/Naomi vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/Alexa Bliss


Not much going on in this one except for the Becky-Nattie feud.  Somehow this is leading to the introduction of a Smackdown Women's belt, and if you ask me (and WWE hasn't) I'd prefer the current Women's Champ simply be featured on both shows.  But what do I know?  There's enough talent in this match for something entertaining but I doubt it gets much time.

UPDATE: Eva Marie has been suspended, so she will no longer be participating.  Dunno if that means a handicap match or what.  Personally I'd just turn it into a five-way for the new Smackdown Women's Title.

Justin's pick: Team Nattie
Dan's pick: GO BECKY




Intercontinental Championship: The Miz vs. Apollo Crews


It's telling how thin the Smackdown roster is when Crews is already getting an IC Title shot.  Crews has thus far had no direction and little in the way of a character.  He's an accomplished athlete and a likable babyface, but main roster Creative hasn't given us a reason to care about him.  Know what would've been ten times better?  Move Sami Zayn to Smackdown and have him feud with The Miz!  What sense does it make that the super-over Zayn isn't on this show but the not-over Crews is in a Title match?

Justin's pick: This could go either way, but since fans aren't really clamoring to see Crews win the belt it makes much more sense to leave it on Miz for now.
Dan's pick: I see no point in giving this to Apollo right now.


Thursday, August 18, 2016

NXT TakeOver: Brooklyn II Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of Enuffa.com NXT TakeOver Predictions!

This weekend, the night before SummerSlam, the NXT roster is invading the Barclays Center in Brooklyn to once again show the main roster how it's done.  You'll recall that last year's TakeOver: Brooklyn was a fantastic show with an astounding double main event, the first half of which wrote a new chapter in the annals of women's wrestling.


This year's lineup looks just as strong.  We have a new women's star debuting, a former TNA Champion making his televised in-ring debut, a potential tag team classic, a TakeOver: Dallas Women's Title rematch, and a dazzling first-ever dream match for the NXT Championship.  This is gonna be a big deal.

Let's get to the predictions.  I'm currently 9 for 10 since I started picking NXT winners.  Mr. Landon Wayne will also give his picks.



Ember Moon vs. Billie Kay


The former Athena (of Shimmer fame) is making her NXT debut this Saturday, against NXT enhancement talent Billie Kay.  This is a showcase match for Ember, so obviously she's winning.

Justin's pick: Ember Moon
Landon's pick: Ember Moon



Austin Aries vs. No Way Jose


It's the comedy wrestler vs. the no-nonsense grappler.  Should be an interesting clash of styles and it'll be fun to see how frustrated Aries gets trying to work around Jose's shenanigans.  In the end though I have to think Aries shuts him down.

Justin's pick: Austin Aries
Landon's pick: Austin Aries



Bobby Roode vs. Andrade Almas


This should be a really fun match.  Andrade has an exciting, explosive style and Bobby Roode is a helluva mechanic.  This being Roode's first televised NXT match, I can't see him losing.

Justin's pick: Bobby Roode
Landon's pick: Bobby Roode


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Movie Review: Suicide Squad

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal



***SPOILERS AHEAD***

Three movies into the DC Cinematic Universe, three swings and misses. After watching the dour mess that Man of Steel and the long, complicated, and ultimately disappointing Batman v Superman, Suicide Squad was supposed to be DC’s fun entry into their movie world. They failed, miserably.

The movie starts off ok enough. Amanda Waller, played masterfully by Viola Davis, is high-ranking government official that decides in the aftermath of Supes' death, they need some real scumbags to protect the Earth. Of course. That’s logical. They introduce all the Suicide Squadders, with Will Smith’s Deadshot getting the most backstory and screen time. Which makes sense, he’s one of the most popular actors in the world. What doesn’t make sense is that he’s supposed to be a bad guy. And the bad guy actions they show him making in his introductory flashbacks is killing mobsters. So…not really a bad guy. Sure, he’s a hitman that gets paid for his killings, but they only show him killing bad guys. He’s also got a young daughter he cares about, so he’s actually just trying to make enough money to take care of his kid.  I realize that’s so Will Smith isn’t shown as some vile scumbag devoid of any possible redemption, but to make a villain team with a good guy-ish leader is already suspect.

Then we get Harley Quinn, the Joker’s girlfriend played marvelously by Margot Robbie. She nails this role, even while not really given much to say (though when she does talk, she somewhat mimics Arleen Sorkin’s iconic voice as Harley from Batman the Animated Series). Peculiar, as she’s essentially the second lead in this flick after Smith. Her backstory shows how she was a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum assigned to the Joker but OOPS, she falls in love with Mr. J. Here’s kind of where the movie goes off the rails for me, and it’s twofold:

1. Why is Harley invited into the Squad? Everyone else has some sort of super-ish powers. She’s just some crazy loon who knows the Joker.

2. I’m pretty sure she’s here so we get a glimpse at Jared Leto’s Joker. He doesn't really belong in this movie. It's just weird the way they inserted him into it. He shows up from time to time in flashbacks and in the storyline proper, but for no real reason. The movie kinda just throws him in there like "Hey look, it's the Joker, that kooky killer clown you know; we don't need to tell you why!"

The History of NXT TakeOver: Rival

Rival - Full Sail - 2.11.15

Continuing the upward trend, NXT put together another near-classic show with Rival, which paid off the two-month Zayn vs. Owens feud and also shook up the Women's division a bit.  This show once again featured some incredible action, particularly in the final three bouts, and was overall on par with the first TakeOver.

Starting things off was Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze; a decent match but a little underwhelming.  I don't know if Itami and Breeze just didn't have that much chemistry or if Itami was having trouble adjusting to NXT in general.  The ending was a bit out of nowhere, as Itami won with a running kick.  Thus far Itami hasn't come close to his work in Japan.

Next was the only miss of the night, as Baron Corbin faced Bull Dempsey in a brief but inoffensive little brawl.  I think this was Corbin's first real feud and Dempsey provided a change from the usual Corbin squashes.  Ultimately though Dempsey wasn't much of a challenge and Corbin won in under five minutes.

The Tag Titles were up next in a bout that almost fell off the rails.  Blake & Murphy defended against Lucha Dragons in what turned out a very fun tag match with wild tandem moves and a ton of nearfalls.  Both Sin Cara and Kalisto botched moves early on but once they found their footing this match settled into a nice little outing.  After a blind tag Kalisto hit the Salida del Sol on Murphy only for Blake to roll him up for the pin.  Nice stuff.

The triad of excellence began with Finn Balor vs. Adrian Neville.  This was one helluva good #1 Contender's Match that started out methodical with Neville once again wrestling more like a heel, but the match escalated into some nice oneupmanship with a red-hot crowd.  Balor countered the Red Arrow by raising his knees, rolled up Neville up for a two-count, and then hit the Coup de Grace for the win.  This was good enough to be a main event, and it was only fourth out of six.

This match was ultimately a passing of the NXT torch

The real show stealer of the undercard though was the 4-Way Women's Title match, as NXT's "Four Horsewomen" tore the house down with a non-stop war.  While 4-Way matches are often a tough sell for me, all of these women delivered; Charlotte played the dominant Champion, Sasha and Becky were the scrappy challengers, and Bayley was the underdog who showed nary a bit of offense until late in the match.  After nearly pulling off an upset, Bayley was tossed out of the match along with Becky, and Sasha locked in the Bank Statement on Charlotte.  Charlotte fought the move for about a full minute before Sasha rolled her backward for a pin and the Championship.  While not on the level of Charlotte vs. Natalya, or the later Sasha-Bayley bouts, this was still a super high-energy match and began a trend of the women routinely upstaging the guys in NXT.

Sasha's reign of awesome began here

The main event paired up old frenemies Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens for the NXT Championship.  Wow.  This was one of those main events that had great action but also told such a compelling story.  Owens' role was akin to Lesnar's when he suplexed the bejeezus out of Cena.  But this match ended up stronger than that one because Zayn got to fight back more and also because Zayn is a more convincing underdog.  So the crowd actually became visibly concerned by the end when Owens hit five or six powerbombs in a row.  Finally the ref stopped the fight and awarded Owens the NXT Title.  Just a fantastic piece of drama between two guys with great chemistry.

Not so much a match as an unbridled ass-kicking

Not much else to say about this show; it was an excellent TakeOver special that arguably tied the first TakeOver as the best in the series thus far.  But NXT would continue to outdo themselves in the coming months.

Best Match: Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Worst Match: Baron Corbin vs. Bull Dempsey
What I'd Change: Not a ton, maybe have Itami work more on finding his new identity
Most Disappointing Match: Hideo Itami vs. Tyler Breeze
Most Pleasant Surprise: That the Women's 4-way was such a hit
Overall Rating: 8.5/10


R Evolution