WWE SummerSlam 2018 Preview & Predictions

We're back with everyone's (EEEVERYYYYONNNNE'SSSS!) favorite wrestling predictions column, talkin' about WWE's latest bloated six-hour show, SummerSlam!

That's right, this goddamn show is gonna run six hours, two for the pre-show and four for the actual PPV.  Thirteen matches, two of which I'm actually excited about!  To be fair, this show is pretty heavily stacked, I just don't care much about any of it.  The product is so flat and devoid of urgency it's all the energy I have to even register a reaction to it.  But maybe that means I'll actually like the show.  Who knows?  All I know is, coming off four incredible weeks of NJPW shows and going straight to a WWE PPV oughta require a decompression chamber.

So let's get to the picks.  But first, the standings...

***Dan Moore with a miraculous comeback, has taken the lead with 64% (34/53), Landon's in second with 60% (32/53), and Dave and I are tied for last place with 58% (31/53).  Those last two PPVs really killed us.***

Pre-Show Mixed Tag Team Match: Rusev & Lana vs. Andrade Almas & Zelina Vega

Almas is great and apparently the company is pretty high on him, so that bodes well for his initial push.  Rusev went from challenging for the WWE Title at Extreme Rules to jerking the pre-show curtain.  Is there some reason they can't find a middle ground for this guy?

Justin: Almas & Vega obviously win this
Dan: Team Rusev
Landon: Almas & Vega
Dave: Almas & Vega

Pre-Show RAW Tag Team Championship: The B-Team vs. The Revival

What a joke this division is now.  The Revival are the only legit team on RAW and they're presented as glorified jobbers.  The B-Team are a comedy duo, yet they're the tag team champions.  This match and the belts are so unimportant they're on the pre-show.  It's just sad.

Justin: B-Team retains
Dan: The Revival
Landon: B-Team
Dave: B-Team

Pre-Show Cruiserweight Championship: Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak

Another CW match I don't care about.  I actually had to look up who was in this.  I'm sure the match will be fine but this division needs a central figure desperately so we have a reason to give a shit.

Justin: Cedric retains
Dan: Cedric
Landon: Drew Gulak, so that my main Cruiserwieght Danny Garcia can get a rematch for that belt
Dave: The Champ retains (I have no idea who these guys are)

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

I can't believe we have to sit through this again.  Two years ago Finn Balor became the first-ever Universal Champion at SummerSlam.  Now he's stuck trying to carry Corbin, deep in the undercard.  Dude, Corbin is straight-up awful.  Why in the world was he ever called up, except for "tall?"  Finn should be way further up the card than this.

Justin: Give Finn the win and do something good with him.
Dan: Balor
Landon: Finn
Dave: Finn but I could see Baron winning too.

Brewery Reviewery: Barrel House Z (Weymouth, MA)

Whassup kids?  Welcome to another edition of Enuffa.com's Brewery Reviewery!  

Today I'll be talking about a fantastic brewery in the ol' hometown of Weymouth, MA, an establishment that brews small-batch beer and then ages it in liquor barrels, creating complex mashups and some strong-ass libations.  It's called Barrel House Z, and its become quite a Weymouth hotspot in just half a year.  Started by former Harpoon master brewer Russ Heissner, BHZ is all about innovation and adventurousness, creating a new Pilot Pour every week.  He's also got a revolving door or brewers to keep the menu fresh and dynamic.

Barrel House Z

95 Woodrock Rd

Weymouth, MA 02189

My wife and I, and two of our friends, finally made it to the tasting room last week and we were not disappointed.  First off, this place was so hopping on a Saturday evening we had to wait 5-10 minutes just to get in.  Once inside though we loved the atmosphere and look of the place; the walls, outside fences, and the front of the bar are all constructed out of (or adorned with) barrel staves, giving the room a rustic/industrial crossover feel.  Scattered around the room are full-size barrels to be used as lounge tables, with plenty of seating and a full view of the brewery floor.  There was also an acoustic duo supplying some solid background tunes (Side note: I'm available for Saturday evening gigs!) and lending some laid-back ambience.  I could easily see myself making this room a regular haunt (And seriously, I'm totally available to provid some musical entertainment).  Outside there's a patio with a fireplace and ample seating, which I anticipate being pretty crowded in the summer.

How do they remember which tap is which?

But all that would be irrelevant if the beer itself didn't deliver.  Fortunately it did, in spades.  Of the 10-12 available brews, we sampled six.  Here we go.....


My Lil' Helper: American wheat ale aged in Chardonnay barrels.  For me this actually resembles an IPA more than a wheat, but with a very balanced flavor.  The hops are tempered by the sweetness of the wine, making for an extremely refreshing beer that would be clutch on a summer afternoon.

Vorlauf: Imperial Vienna lager aged in Bully Boy Whiskey barrels.  A very complex tasting beer with some sweet and sour notes, and just a hint of the whiskey.  Probably my least favorite but still good.

"Are we done taking pictures, can I drink this now??"

NJPW G1 Climax 28 Recap

Another superb G1 Climax has come to a close, culminating in what was for me a very unexpected result.  The short n' skinny of it is that the company's former Ace has once again punched his ticket to the main event of WrestleKingdom.  Hiroshi Tanahashi led the A Block throughout the tournament and outlasted his archrival Kazuchika Okada, going to a time limit draw for the third time in their feud.  Since Tanahashi was two points ahead of Okada he got the Finals slot.  In the B Block it was Kota Ibushi upsetting his best friend Kenny Omega and going on to face his idol for the briefcase.

As usual the final matches of each block, and the overall final itself, were three of the highlights of the entire four-week tour.  But this tourney was rife with 4 and 5-star matches, ongoing themes and stories, and some absolutely stellar performances.  Relative G1 newcomers Michael Elgin and Juice Robinson each delivered multiple excellent matches, while newbies Hangman Page and Jay White put themselves on the map.  Page finished with only six points but looked right at home with the top dogs in the block, while Jay White scored major upset wins over both Okada and Tanahashi (who went undefeated otherwise), and was in the running to win the block up until the last night.  If there were any doubts about White's legitimacy as a major rising star, his showing here erased them.  The man is 25 years old and has a very bright future ahead.

One of the running angles over these four weeks was the constant cockblockery of Tama Tonga and his Firing Squad; both Tonga and Bad Luck Fale either took disqualification losses or won with lots of outside interference.  These shenanigans didn't do their match quality any favors but it did make clear their mission - to sabotage one of the perennial highlights of the New Japan calendar.  I'm not sure if that'll get them over in a good way, or where they go from here, but for a couple of lower-tier heels trying to elevate their profile, this was certainly a different approach.

Also of note was Zack Sabre Jr., who followed up his starmaking New Japan Cup run with a very strong showing (Sabre was part of a four-way tie at the end with Ibushi, Omega and Naito) and scored wins over NEVER Champion Hirooki Goto and US Champion Juice Robinson, plus Naito and Ishii.  Sabre should pick up some gold by year's end and I'd love to see him win both of those titles in succession.  Sabre as a heel double champion would be pretty cool.

Top Ten Things: Overrated Wrestling PPVs

Welcome to another edition of Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com, where I count down ten best or worst of whatever I happen to be wasting energy thinking about that day.

Today's edition is about wrestling PPVs I consider to be overrated.  Certain shows just resonate with large numbers of people for some reason, and while I understand some of them, there are PPVs where I'm baffled by how much people love them.  Either from an in-ring standpoint, a booking standpoint, or a time management standpoint each of these shows disappointed in some way that prevented them from being truly great (or even good in some cases).  Here we go....

10. Great American Bash '89

Before you cry foul, just hear me out.  I really enjoyed GAB'89.  It had star power, a stacked lineup, and a great main event.  But it had nine matches when it should've had six, and therefore multiple bouts got horribly shortchanged.  1989 was the first full calendar year for the NWA under Ted Turner's ownership, and while overall it was probably the best year in the company's history, management stripped away a bit of the NWA's personality in an effort to make the product more WWF-like.  One such tactic was to load PPVs and Clash of the Champions specials with more matches than they had room for, something the WWF had been doing for years.  Thus with GAB'89 we started off with a Battle Royal, a pointless Brian Pillman-Bill Irwin match, an elongated Skyscrapers-Dynamic Dudes squash, and an unwatchable Tuxedo Match between Paul Ellering and Teddy Long.  So entertaining bouts like The Steiners vs. The Varsity Club and Sting vs. Great Muta were criminally short (Seriously, Pillman-Irwin and the Skyscrapers match both got more time than the TV Title match??).  Don't get me wrong, the last five matches were all good-to-great, and after the first hour GAB'89 was still one of the best shows of the year.  But imagine how much better this could've been had they trimmed off the fat and presented a streamlined PPV a la Clash of the Champions I.

9. WrestleMania 24

Another case of a very good show being held up as a truly great one, WrestleMania 24 was for me an unexpectedly strong night of wrestling.  Going into this I had little interest in any of it, as the main event scene had been stagnant for the last three years and no one new was being heavily featured.  Plus the most-hyped match pitted the 400-pound Big Show against a boxer one-third his size.  But the show ended up being pretty darn good, thanks to a pair of near-4-star Title matches, a fun Money in the Bank match, and an emotional Shawn Michaels-Ric Flair retirement match.  So yeah, this show had a lot to like.  But that doesn't make it one of the best 'Manias of all time, as many people call it.  Aside from the aforementioned four bouts, this show was weighed down by a ton of mediocrity.  JBL vs. Finlay, Batista vs. Umaga, Kane vs. Chavo, the Divas tag match, and the Show-Mayweather fiasco were all middling at best.  'Mania 24 is one of many cases of people fondly remembering the good stuff but forgetting how much crap we had to wade through to get to it.

Top Ten Things: Lady Gaga Songs

Welcome to Enuffa.com, and another edition of Top Ten Things!  I got ten things I wanna talk about.  The TOP ten things.  There's ten of 'em....

Today's topic is the musical stylings of one Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, better known to the entire world as Lady Gaga.  Gaga began flooding radio stations everywhere in 2008, with her offbeat, anthemic dance-pop tunes and outlandish fashion sense.  Her appearance and songwriting were so bizarre she seemed to have arrived from outer space, and my first impression was "What a weirdo."  But after more of her radio singles emerged I began to realize she was much more than just a gimmick.  It seemed each new song revealed more and more of her unique compositional and vocal ability, and by 2009 I found myself almost reluctantly becoming a fan.  Her second album Born This Way had a decidedly 80s pop feel and showed a more spiritual, sociopolitical side to her music, while her third, Artpop was a rather satirical look at her own megastardom.  In 2016 though, Gaga stripped away most of her eccentric theatricality and released an understated set of 70s-infused pop-rock songs with a more personal flavor.  Joanne was a major departure, and a refreshingly restrained album that demonstrated Gaga's versatility and willingness to reinvent herself.  Stylistically she can go anywhere she wants from here, and I'll be very interested to see where that leads her.

But enough pontificatin'.  Here are my ten favorite Lady Gaga songs....

10. Venus

Our first entry is the midtempo, 70s disco-influenced song that draws parallels between sex, mythology and astronomy.  What could easily have been a silly throwaway track is made fascinating by a fairly dark timbre, playful lyrics, and a wonderfully hooky chorus rife with layered vocal harmonies.  "Venus" helped set the tone for Gaga's third album Artpop by suggesting a self awareness and injecting a bit of pop star satire.

9. A-Yo

Co-written by (and featuring) guitar whiz Mark Ronson, "A-Yo" is one of several songs on Gaga's latest album Joanne that serves as a major stylistic departure for Lady Gaga.  Gone are the over-the-top dance beats and synth trappings; in their place is a pop-rockabilly feel with a Shania Twain swagger and bombastic guitar licks.  "A-Yo" might be the most purely fun song on the album but it also shows a songwriting maturity and eagerness to evolve.

8. Paparazzi

"Paparazzi" was the first Gaga song I begrudgingly liked.  After "Just Dance," "Poker Face," and "Lovegame," (none of which are favorites of mine to this day), "Paparazzi" was the one song that made me go, "Huh...okay, this is pretty good."  This super-hooky midtempo number features vocals reminiscent of Gwen Stefani, and takes a sardonic look at the media's obsession with celebrities.  It also marked the first Gaga video to feature a story (and a pretty messed-up one at that): Gaga is pushed off a balcony by her boyfriend and spends much of the video wheelchair-bound before making a full recovery.  I wouldn't become a real Lady Gaga fan until after "Bad Romance" was released, but this song at least left me open to the idea, and it's still my favorite track from The Fame.

Dan's Top 9: Great Movies with Dumb Endings

Welcome back to another edition of Dan's Top 9, because I’m not good enough to come up with a top 10. Today I’m talking about movies which are otherwise awesome except for their lame-o endings. In some cases, it’s the actual climax and not the true ending, but this is my list with my rules, so eat me. Here we go.

DAN'S TOP

  

**OBVIOUSLY THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE…IT’S A COLUMN ABOUT MOVIE ENDINGS, STUPID**

9. The Thing

Possibly John Carpenter’s finest film. One of my favorite movies to watch over and over again (along with Weekend at Bernie’s DON’T JUDGE ME). Outrageous practical special effects, awesome Kurt Russell, killer supporting cast and perfect minimalistic score makes this a personal fave. But what the fuck with that ending? Chasing a demon alien monster through a cave for a final showdown and then…it just blows up essentially? What an awful way to end the pursuit of the bad guy after he fucked up two different camps of folk (the actual ending, with Kurt and Keith David sitting in the cold as the fire blazes and neither of them trusting the other, is awesome)

8. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

This drug fueled comedy is goddamn HILARIOUS for about 100 minutes. Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro go all in on their insane performances and really do some fucked up, funny shit. And then they go to a diner. For what feels like 3 hours. And have some downer conversation with a waitress. It’s painful to watch. I get what they were doing, showing the comedown after the high of all those drugs but…I was still high when I was watching it, and I wanted more crazy shit. This totally killed my buzz. Thankfully I had more drugs.

7. No Country For Old Men

No clue what happens at the end of this movie. Josh Brolin is getting chased around by Javier Bardem for about 90 minutes of this movie...and then he’s just not. He’s gone. Evidently killed in some gunfight that took place off-screen. Oh. Good. Then we’re shown two old codgers talking about…God knows what. I really liked this flick til the last 20 mins when it just stopped being the movie I was watching and became something else.

Brewery Reviewery: 10th District Brewing Company (Abington, MA)

Welcome to another Brewery Reviewery, here at Enuffa.com, where I visit a local purveyor craft beer and let you all know what I think of it.  This past weekend we took a gander at 10th District Brewing Company, in Abington, MA! 

10th District Brewing Company

491 Washington St.

Abington, MA

This modest-sized taproom opened in 2014 and has a layout similar to that of a takeout pizzeria, with just a few tables and most of the space occupied by the brewing floor.  It's fairly no-frills, but there are some board games and a couple TVs to keep you entertained as you enjoy some beverages.  The two-man staff (at least on the day I was there) is friendly and happy to have your business as you sample the beer roster.  If you need some sustenance they often partner with a food truck which parks outside for the day.

Currently there are eight offerings on the menu (see below), and I was able to try four of them (including one not shown on the menu).

Tripel - I started with an old reliable; as a diehard Belgian beer fan I was overjoyed to see this on the menu.  This tripel was a pretty excellent take on the traditional style, with robust body, strong wyeast flavor and a slightly bitter finish.  At 8.75% ABV this'll get you feelin' good in no time.  This was my favorite of the day, and I picked up a growler of it to enjoy at home.

Extra Special Bitter - This English style ale, not on the paper menu, was a welcome surprise.  For those not familiar with ESB, they actually aren't very bitter at all and in fact have more of a malt-forward taste.  This was very smooth and easy to drink, and superior to Shipyard's version.  I'd order this again in a heartbeat.

Brewery Reviewery: Widowmaker Brewing (Braintree, MA)

It's that time again.  Time to sample some locally brewed suds and craft another Brewery Reviewery!

Last weekend my friends and I took a gander at the South Shore's newest purveyor of craft beer, Widowmaker Brewing in Braintree, MA.  Being local residents we'd heard about this place for months (They finally opened in October), so it was a highly anticipated visit.

Widowmaker is located at 220 Wood Road in Braintree, and their simple, no-frills approach to brewing is reflected in the taproom space.  The venue has an industrial warehouse feel, with long wooden tables and benches scattered about the room, and seating both at the bar and against the walls.  Dispensers at one corner give out Cheezits and pretzels for a palate cleanser in between tastings, and in the evening they'll sometimes have pizza, plus you'll often see food trucks outside.  The table seating includes little games and puzzles for an icebreaker, or to keep your brain occupied when drinking alone.  There's also plenty of merch available if you're a fanatic and need a T-shirt or a glass (I'm partial to the goblet-style tulip glasses myself).

Overall the space is fairly barebones, but still comfortable and inviting.  They could use a few more tables, as the seating is a bit scarce for a room that big.  Fortunately it wasn't mobbed on a Saturday afternoon, so we had plenty of room to sit.

But how's the beer you ask?  Well, let's dive in and drink our way out, shall we?

I tasted six of the eight available beers (not sure how often they rotate flavors), and enjoyed most of them quite well.

Ecstasy of Gold, American IPA, 7.2% ABV: Hazy, light-copper coloring and a pungent fruit aroma when poured.  Balanced fruit taste with a sweet, malty backbone.

This one is just as it sounds - hops-forward with a bit of a floral, fruity taste/aroma.  I'm not an IPA lover but this is pretty enjoyable.

You Used to Be Sooooo Good: Saturday Morning Cartoons

Welcome to another edition of You Used to Be Soooo Good, where Justin and I, Dan Moore, discuss things used to be awesome but now, eh, not so much. This week we discuss what may have been the greatest event our youth, and it happened WEEKLY. That’s right…

Saturday Morning Cartoons:  You Used to Be Soooo Good

Dan: Let me throw the old man pants on here…BACK IN MYYYYYY DAY…all right, so when I was a kid, you got woken up by parents every day for school at 7AM Mon-Fri for the first bell at 8:10 AM. Getting out of that little twin bed during the week was damn near impossible. Just could not do it. Around 7:50 I’d finally peel myself from the Empire Strikes Back bed sheets, and make my way to the dreaded school house. It was horrible.

But then, Saturday morning would come around. I’d be up earlier than a long shore fisherman when the shad have arrived. Around 6 AM every Saturday morning, the three kids in the house would be up and down like goddamn Mexican jumping beans. Saturday morning cartoons started at 6 AM and we watched them all morning, every week til noon, when the news came on and ruined fun. It was an institution. It was immeasurably awesome. It was literally the only reason to get up that early every Saturday.


Justin: That was the highlight of the week, every week.  Event television every seven days, when for some reason you were never too tired to get out of bed early and watch some silly animated programs.

The earliest years are fuzzy for me, but looking back on the network Saturday morning lineups (which you can find broken down by year on Wikipedia) I can definitely say starting at the end of 1982 (I was in second grade) I fully remember each of my Saturday morning viewing schedules.  For four years I was exclusively glued to the cartoons, until 1986 when I added WWF wrestling to the agenda. 

So what would you say are the five best cartoons you watched over the years?

Top Ten Things: July PPV Matches

Welcome to another edition of Enuffa.com's Top Ten Things, where I assemble a list of ten something-or-others and what-have-yous and decide what order they should go in.

Today I have a list of the ten greatest July PPV matches of all time.  The July PPV wasn't invented until 1988, when the NWA created a Great American Bash special headlined by Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger for the World Title.  For years the NWA/WCW was alone in presenting a PPV event in July, but in 1995 the WWF jumped in, filling the monthly gaps in their PPV schedule with a series of In Your House shows.  In 20 years nary a July has gone by without a PPV event.  While none of the Big Four shows have ever taken place during this month, the annual B-shows have supplied some real classics, some of which I'll talk about, startiiiiing...............now.

10. Midnight Express vs. Southern Boys - GAB '90 - 7/7/90

In 1990 the Midnight Express delivered some of the best matches of their career, and some of the best matches that year.  After dethroning US Tag Champs Brian Pillman and Tom Zenk at Capitol Combat, the Midnights defended against hot new babyface team The Southern Boys (Tracey Smothers and Steve Armstrong) at the Great American Bash.  The result was a blazing 18-minute tag team clinic that saw the Midnights retain.  In a rather poor in-ring year for the NWA, the US Tag division stood above the rest.

9. Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn - Battleground - 7/24/16

These former best friends-turned hated rivals clashed one last time at the 2016 Battleground, in a match intended to put their epic feud to bed forever.  And what a battle it was.  Zayn and Owens know each other so well and have worked together so long they'd be hard-pressed to have a bad match, but this bout pulled out all the stops and ratcheted up the drama.  After a brief feeling-out process the big moves appeared fairly early in the match, with Zayn nearly killing himself on an errant springboard moonsault.  Owens then attacked Zayn's vulnerable right arm before Zayn staged a late-match comeback, complete with multiple brutal-looking half-nelson suplexes.  After several unsuccessful attempts to hit the Helluva Kick, Zayn finally nailed the move, picked Owens up almost with a look of regret, and hit a second for the win.  This match easily stole the show and proved one of WWE's best bouts of the year, while giving Zayn a much-need big win.

8. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam - Invasion - 7/21/01

The Invasion PPV should've been the start of the greatest angle in wrestling history.  Unfortunately the WWF misfired at almost every turn, burying just about every non-WWF guy in the process.  The one import that caught fire though was Rob Van Dam, who for about six months was pushed to the moon, beginning with this Hardcore Title match against Jeff Hardy.  The two daredevils traded breathtaking high spots in a match that ranged all over the arena, before Van Dam snared his first taste of WWF gold.  The Invasion show may have been a disappointment but this match delivered huge.

Parents' Night In #10: Jaws (1975)

Kelly and Justin are back to talk about one of their all-time favorite films, one they just GOTS ta watch every summer, the Spielberg masterpiece JAWS!

Thanks for watching!  Don't forget to subscribe and join us on Facebook, Google+ and Twitter (@EnuffaDotCom)!

Book Review: The Greatest Matches and Rivalries of the WrestleMania Era

Chad "The Doc" Matthews of LordsofPain.net fame is back with another countdown of the top 100 something-or-others of the WrestleMania Era (for Doc's purposes that's 1983 to the present).  While his previous tomes focused on the greatest stars and champions of said era, his latest volume deals with the top 100 matches and rivalries of the past 35 years in both WWE and WCW.

Matthews' intent here is to create an objective match/feud ranking, taking into account not only the quality of key matches, but the buildup to them, the character interactions, and the feud's overall impact on the business for its time (The end of the book covers his scoring methodology in detail if you're interested).  After poring through decades of matches and moments, Chad put each candidate head-to-head with its peers in an attempt to nail down a definitive Top 100 that any wrestling fan can reasonably agree with.  As with all art forms, there is of course an unavoidable element of subjectivity when trying to argue that Match/Rivalry A is better than B, but Matthews does present a lucid, pretty compelling argument for the placement of each entry.

There are definitely inclusions (and exclusions) I didn't agree with, but I have to give the author credit for making a strong case for his rankings.  For example Hulk Hogan vs. Shawn Michaels being in the top 40, above many other feuds/matches I would deem far superior.  I wasn't a fan of this feud or match in general at the time and I've never felt the urge to revisit it.  But between Hogan-HBK drawing a very strong buyrate, Shawn managing to carry the entire feud on his own (Hogan opted not to appear on basically any TV leading up to the match), and Shawn getting out of Hogan one of his best-ever bouts (though hardly one of Shawn's best), I can at least appreciate why Matthews rates it so highly.  If you've read Doc's LOP columns you already know he's a fair and well-reasoned debater, and that comes across in the book as well.

Brewery Reviewery: One Love Brewery (Lincoln, NH)

Welcome to another Brewery Reviewery here at Enuffa.com, where I sample some local beer flavor and tell you all what I think.

 

One Love Brewery

25 South Mountain Rd Unit 4

Lincoln, NH 03251

My latest brewery visit took place at One Love Brewery in Lincoln, NH, on the main drag through town, just off of 93.  The family and I had just taken in a movie and wanted to grab a bite for lunch, and I wanted to drink some goddamn beers.

One Love is a German-style pub with a traditional feel; lots of wood with an open, multi-floor seating plan and 19th century decor; a very welcoming atmosphere.  The food there is your typical pub fare, with lots of comfort food options plus German favorites like pretzels with beer cheese and spicy mustard (We had a serving of those and they were quite tasty).  I wasn't super hungry so I just had a garden salad for my lunch entree, and it was actually very nice.  I do love me some balsamic dressing.

But beer is the reason I'm here, so let's get to that.

Top Ten Things: Disappointing Wrestling PPVs

Welcome to another edition of Top Ten Things, here at Enuffa.com!

Today's topic is something we can all relate to as wrestling fans.  You're all set up in front of the TV, maybe with a beer in hand, maybe some popcorn, maybe a slice of pizza, maybe a nice wholesome bowl o' broccoli.  That warning screen flashes, instructing you against the unauthorized reception of the upcoming broadcast, and the anticipation has reached a fever pitch.  You can't wait to see three or four hours of wrestling awesomeness unfold before your eyes.......And then you're treated to sports-entertainment shit sandwich.  Nothing about the show lives up to your expectations.  Your world crumbles around you.  And you're goddamn pissed.  The following are ten examples of such an experience for me.....

10. WrestleMania IV

After the unequivocal success (both commercial and critical) of WrestleMania III, the WWF had their work cut out for them to somehow make the followup even bigger than the Hogan vs. Andre-headlined blockbuster.  They decided that a first-time-ever WWF Championship tournament would do the trick, and booked a brilliantly-executed swerve to vacate the Title.  This 14-man tourney would be the centerpiece of WrestleMania IV, but the card would include a staggering eighteen scheduled bouts (only sixteen took place due to tournament draws) over a period of four hours.  If that sounds like an overloaded show, that's because it was.  There were simply too many matches crammed into this PPV and thus nothing got enough time to shine; the tournament final was given a skimpy nine-and-a-half minutes, making it the shortest WrestleMania main event ever until 1993.  Where WrestleMania III featured both an in-ring masterpiece (Savage vs. Steamboat) and a tremendously entertaining spectacle (Hogan vs. Andre), 'Mania IV boasted no truly memorable bouts, and aside from Randy Savage's Championship coronation in the finale, boasted nary an historic moment.  Couple all this with a largely uninterested live crowd comprised mostly of business guests of Donald Trump's, and what ensued was a dull, dreary WrestleMania that served as the WWF's worst PPV of 1988.

9. Great American Bash '88

The NWA's third-ever PPV event featured two huge firsts, Ric Flair defending the World Title against his former Horsemen protege Lex Luger, and a monumental five-on-five war inside a three-decker steel cage.  Going into this I couldn't wait to see how this incredible, foreboding structure would be utilized, and I anticipated the company's new top babyface dethroning the heel Champion.  Well, Luger came up short of the Title in just about the stupidest way possible - the Maryland State Athletic Commission stopped the match because Luger was bleeding from the forehead, despite Luger having snared Flair in his Torture Rack finisher.  And the Tower of Doom as it was called consisted of the two teams essentially trying to race each other from the top cage to the bottom so they could each run away from the battle.  This match was both boring and confusing to watch.  Elsewhere on the card we got two very good tag team matches, neither of which had a clean finish, and a Barry Windham-Dusty Rhodes US Title match involving a heel turn that made no sense, from someone not involved in the match whatsoever (Ronnie Garvin).  The nonsensical booking turned what should've been a pretty great show into an overthought calamity with almost no satisfying finishes.  Fortunately the company would refocus under the new Ted Turner regime and string together several great PPVs over the next year and a half.

8. Survivor Series 1990

The 1990 edition of this Thanksgiving PPV introduced a new wrinkle.  Not only would we be treated to the usual series of team elimination matches, but the survivors of each bout would meet at the end for a climactic Survival Match.  Also the company teased the debut of a new character for weeks leading up to the event, as a giant egg appeared on WWF television  and would apparently hatch at the PPV.  The resulting show featured abbreviated elimination matches, the one involving WWF Champion the Ultimate Warrior stuck in the opening slot, and the big egg-hatching reveal turned out to be a man in a turkey suit dancing with Gene Okerlund.  The Gobbledygooker was never involved in any match or storyline going forward and served no purpose whatsoever.  Finally the big Survival Match main event went a scant 9:31 and played out like a warmup showcase for Warrior and Hulk Hogan.  This PPV was a poorly assembled mess except for the debut of The Undertaker, the only good thing it's remembered for.

WWE Extreme Rules 2018: A Microcosm of Vince's Shitshow

Move over Backlash, there's a new sucky PPV sheriff in town.  Extreme Rules felt like WWE was actively trying to put on a bad show, between the filler matches, the multiple instances of counterproductive booking, and the noteworthy moments WWE expects everyone to remember in place of good wrestling.  This felt like a Bischoff-era WCW PPV, except without a show stealing Cruiserweight Title match.  I'm hard-pressed to pick a match of the night; only two bouts are in contention but neither of them was even on par with the opening G1 match on night 3 (Michael Elgin vs. Hangman Page).  WWE's product is in absolute shambles right now and it requires on my part a Herculean effort to even get annoyed with it.  That's how little I care.

The show opened with a pair of utterly forgettable matches, one of which featured a title change.  The B-Team defeated Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt for the RAW tag belts in a nothing, free TV-caliber match, and then Finn Balor "upset" Baron Corbin with a small package in another free TV-caliber match.  It's adorable they're still trying to present Corbin as any kind of threat, but no, I'm not buying it.  Balor's position in this company is so far beneath where he should be, but they have so many more issues beyond that I can't even focus on him.  *1/2 for the B-Team match, *3/4 for the Balor one.

Case in point, the systematic sabotage of Asuka in service of the least deserving women's champion since the Kelly Kelly era, Carmella.  I just want to sit down with Vince and ask him, "Why do you hate Asuka so much?"  I also want to sit down with Triple H and ask, "Why are you letting Vince destroy stars you've so carefully built?"  Going into WrestleMania 34 Asuka was something special.  An undefeated, legit badass with gargantuan charisma.  Three months later Asuka is just another one of the girls, just another dimwitted babyface who gets distracted by shiny objects at the expense of her title aspirations.  That a nothing in-ring talent like Carmella even beat Asuka to the championship, let alone got to pin her twice on PPV is a microcosm of how ass-backward Vince's booking philosophy is these days.  After five minutes of forgettable action, James Ellsworth predictably escaped his shark cage but got stuck hanging upside down, at which point Asuka forgot all about winning the title and instead beat up Ellsworth.  And then Carmella rammed her into the shark cage and pinned her.  Asuka could not have been made to look more ineffectual if WWE were deliberately trying (and I'm convinced they were).  DUD

NJPW G1 Climax 28 Preview & Predictions

It's mid-July and that means it's time for the most exciting four weeks on anyone's wrestling calendar, when twenty of New Japan's top heavyweights compete in a round-robin tournament for a slot in the WrestleKingdom main event.  That's right, the G1 Climax is upon us!

This year's lineup is stacked as all hell, and similar to last year's (I'm not complaining by the way, the 2017 edition was pretty unanimously considered the greatest wrestling tournament of all time), but with championships having changed hands and certain participants looking to climb back up the mountain the stories should play out a little differently. 

For those of you new to the G1, the format is two blocks of ten, each of whom wrestles everyone else in his block once over the four weeks.  A win gets you 2 points, a draw gets you 1, a loss gets you 0.  The two block leaders at the end face each other in the Finals, and the winner gets the #1 Contender's briefcase to challenge for the IWGP Title at WrestleKingdom, but with a caveat.  Whoever had defeated the eventual winner during the course of the tournament gets to challenge him for said briefcase, which plays out over the fall PPV season.  Thus far the briefcase has never changed hands, but there's a first time for everything.  Also of note, since the implementation of the G1 briefcase in 2012, no G1 winners have gone on to dethrone the champion at the Tokyo Dome.  It is a great honor and accomplishment to win the G1 Climax but by no means is it a guarantee of becoming the IWGP Champion.  The G1 winners in the briefcase era were Kazuchika Okada in 2012, Tetsuya Naito in 2013, Kazuchika Okada again in 2014, Hiroshi Tanahashi in 2015, Kenny Omega in 2016, and Tetsuya Naito again in 2017.

But anyway, let's get to the analysis.  I'll talk briefly about the 20 participants and then offer predictions and most anticipated matchups in each block.

Block A

Kazuchika Okada

The former IWGP Champ enters his first G1 in four years without the cherished gold.  This radically changes the dynamic of his performances here, as he'll no longer be playing defense.  Instead Okada will need to scratch and claw his way to the top of the standings if he wants to main event WrestleKingdom for the fifth straight year.  We should feel a greater sense of urgency in his matches this time.  Okada is, I would think, a lock for the Finals and a heavy favorite to win it all.


 


Hiroshi Tanahashi

The previous company Ace still has some gas left in the tank.  Can he climb back up the mountain and get one more run with the belt?  Tanahashi's big matches the past year or two have carried a greater sense of desperation, as he struggles to stay at the level of his prime years.  Tana will last deep into this tournament but likely fall short on the last A block night, falling to Okada again.  Or will he?





Jay White

Fresh off losing the US Title in what has to be considered his best match to date, Jay White has gone full-on asshole heel and I love it.  Being a former champion, he'll obviously have a bigger chip on his shoulder which should garner electric heat and make his matches emotionally engaging.  Looking forward to seeing him grow as a performer over these four weeks.

WWE Extreme Rules 2018 Preview & Predictions

.......Sigh.......another lackluster WWE show is upon us, folks.  Time to pretend any of it's interesting and make some predictions.  It continues to baffle me how badly WWE wastes their insanely talented roster on boring, tired matchups while leaving potentially great ones on the table (or ruining them with stupid booking, a la AJ vs. Nakamura).  Of the ten scheduled matches this Sunday only two interest me, and there are a few others that should be decent despite my not caring about them.  Sooo, let's get to it I guess.  How did the B-PPVs actually get LESS interesting since they dual-branded them??

***Dave has taken the lead this season, with 26/42 (62%), Dan and I are tied with 25/42 (60%), and Landon has fallen slightly behind with 24/42 (57%).  But Jeezus, none of us are doing well, thanks to the nonsensical booking that's plagued the product since 'Mania.***

Pre-Show Tables Match: The New Day vs. SAnitY

This was just added.  Christ there's a lot of matches on this show.  Tables matches are usually lame.  New Day matches are usually good.  I'm so torn.  Anyway, SAnitY are the new team on the block so they win here.

Justin: SAnitY
Dan: 'The fuck is Sanity?  I don't even watch the shows anymore.  I don't care, Sanity wins.
Landon: SAnitY
Dave: New Day

Finn Balor vs. Baron Corbin

First off, how the FUCK did this make the card but Sasha vs. Bayley still hasn't happened yet?  They've been teasing that goddamn feud since February!  Shit or get off the pot, for fuck's sake.  Anyway, I have zero interest in seeing Finn attempt to get a good match out of Corporate Corbin or whatever the hell they're calling him now (Yeah, I know, it's Constable - because there's been one of those in this country in the last 200 years).  Two years ago Finn became the first Universal Champion.  Now he's curtain-jerking (or worse) against a hump like Baron.  Welcome to WWE, home of the reverse ladder to success.

Justin: I guess Finn takes this?  Christ, I hope so.
Dan: Yeah Finn
Landon: Corbin
Dave: Finn I guess.

RAW Tag Team Championship: Deleter of Worlds vs. The B Team

I have a feeling this gets bumped to the pre-show.  Does anyone care about this match?  A mongrel tag team defending against a jobber tag team?  Pointless.

Justin: Matt & Bray retain
Dan: Matt & Bray
Landon: Champs retain
Dave: Matt & Bray

Extreme Rules RAW Women's Championship: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Oh good, this match again.  Look, I enjoyed their first two outings.  In fact I'm one of the few who did.  But why do we need it again?  Ronda Rousey is going to be sitting at ringside for this so obviously it's setting up her next title shot at SummerSlam, presumably against Alexa.  I guess the Extreme Rules stip could make this different.

Justin: Alexa retains
Dan: Alexa
Landon: Alexa
Dave: Alexa but who cares?

NJPW G1 Special Review

New Japan delivers again.  The G1 Special at the Cow Palace was yet another pretty stellar effort from the world's best wrestling promotion, featuring three excellent marquee matches and a host of fun undercard bouts, plus some newsworthy items.

The first three tag team matches were just a fun way to warm up the crowd, starting with a 10-man tag between the lower-tier Bullet Club members and the supporting members of CHAOS (RPG3K, Gedo and Yoshi-Hashi).  The SanFran audience popped big for King Haku, who teamed with two of his sons (Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa), plus Yujiro Takahashi and Chase Owens.  The match was a briskly paced nine minutes and ended with Tonga scoring the pin on Gedo.  Not much more than a showcase, but it didn't overstay its welcome and Tama Tonga in particular looked like a star here.  More on that later.  **

Next up was the best of the three undercard tag matches, as Minoru Suzuki and Zack Sabre resumed their feud with Tomohiro Ishii and Toru Yano.  As expected this match shined when Suzuki and Ishii were pounding the snot out of each other.  Their inevitable singles match will no doubt be a brutal spectacle.  The finish came out of nowhere as Yano tried several times to hit a low blow on Sabre only for Sabre to block and counter.  But Ishii leveled him with a clothesline, allowing Yano to cradle him for the pin.  Very entertaining stuff.  **3/4

The third showcase match pitted Tanahashi and Kushida against Hangman Page and Marty Scurll, and accomplished a lot in elevating Page.  Very early in the match Page hit a death-defying shooting star press off the apron to the floor, landing on his feet(!) and knocking Kushida down.  From there the pace was furious as the heavyweights and the juniors paired off, but in the end Page finished Kushida with his Rite of Passage finisher (reverse Tombstone piledriver).  Page is rapidly proving himself a worthy New Japan star and I'm interested to see how he does in the G1.  **1/2

The first important bout was next as Hirooki Goto defended the NEVER Title against Jeff Cobb.  This was a rugged display of athletic power wrestling, full of suplexes and high-impact moves.  This was my first time seeing Cobb and thus far I'm duly impressed.  From what I understand this wasn't even one of his best efforts (at 12 minutes it felt a little short), but I'm hoping New Japan will bring him on board officially.  Goto retained after the GTR.  Solid midcard match.  ***

NJPW G1 Special in San Francisco Preview & Predictions

Welcome to another round of NJPW Predictions here at Enuffa.com!  Landon Wayne (of FalconArrowEmporium.blogspot.com) and I are back to sort out the matches and predictions!

In what is now an annual tradition, New Japan will be visiting American soil once again just before the G1 Climax, with a special PPV that airs live on AXS TV and then on-demand on NJPWWorld.com.  The company really stacked their championship fields with gaijin to try and capitalize on the western audience, and with this show taking place at the Cow Palace in San Francisco this will be the largest American event in NJPW history.  Stagnant ticket sales initially stoked fears that the company had tried to expand too fast, but from what I understand the event is mostly sold out now.  Going from a 2300-seat venue last year to a 5000-seater this past March to 10,000 now was certainly ambitious but it looks like they'll be just fine.

Anyway this show is fairly stacked, with five big title matches and some showcase tags.  Let's get to it...

10-Man Tag: Yoshi-Hashi/Gedo/Roppongi 3K vs. Chase Owens/King Haku/Yujiro Takahashi/Guerrillas of Destiny

Oh look at this, father and son teaming together.  What a strange turn of events.  Should be a fun little opening match.  I'm not expecting it to go very long but it'll be a showcase for RPG3K (who are still chasing the Jr. Tag belts). 

Justin: I have a feeling Haku will be super over, so they may give Bullet Club the win here.
Landon: Do we know if Haku is still the linear WCW Hardcore Champion? If not him, who is? Bullet Club

Tomohiro Ishii & Toru Yano vs. Minoru Suzuki & Zack Sabre Jr.

It's a rematch from Dominion.  This'll be great whenever Ishii is in the ring and silly whenever Yano is.  Ishii vs. Suzuki is still being built as a blood feud and I imagine we'll get to see that at either Destruction or King of Pro-Wrestling, or both. 

Justin: Suzuki-Gun pins Yano again
Landon: MORE. LANDON WANT MORE ISHII SUZUKI. Yano Pins Sabre

Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kushida vs. Hangman Page & Marty Scurll

Shocking to see Tana in such a low undercard spot, but I guess he's got less name recognition than most of the western wrestlers.  This should be another fun tag match.  Kushida and Scurll will have excellent exchanges I'm sure.

Justin: Tana & Kushida get the win
Landon: Fucking weird, but Team WMB wins here

Bob Dylan's "Blonde On Blonde" Revisited

by Michael Drinan
@thesurfacenoise

I was twenty years old when I first listened to the album. Dylan was a name I had heard before but never paid much attention to or gave him a listen. When you grow up in the 90s you don’t feel you need an artist like Dylan in your life because you already have so much to listen to as it is. So, when the 90s faded, along with the great music that came with it, I figured it was time to dive into the music of the 60s to see what the fuss was all about, and The Beatles and Dylan were the first artists to check out.

As a guide, I used VH1’s list of “100 Greatest Albums of Rock & Roll” to point me in the right direction. Before you roll your eyes I will tell you that it was and still is the best list on the subject I’ve seen. Sixteen years later and I still find myself agreeing with the albums listed, even though we can always quibble on placement. Of course, The Beatles and Dylan were littered all over it and so it seemed to be the most logical place to start. The Beatles were easy to listen to since my dad had many of their albums. Dylan, I had to go to the music store and buy his albums to hear them.

So, I bought Blonde On Blonde along with Blood On The Tracks, two works that many deem to be his best. I went to my car, popped in Blonde On Blonde and went driving around the back roads of Hampton Roads in Virginia and listened, preparing to be blown away.

I didn’t prepare myself enough. How could anyone?

The first track, “Rainy Day Women #12 and 35” I dismissed as being a playful little jam session where it seemed as if no one knew how to play their instruments. I still sung it out loud because I had heard it before off the Forrest Gump soundtrack. I began settling into the album on the second track “Pledging My Time”, a muddy, bluesy stomper with a soaring harmonica intro. My foot kept tapping, my head bobbing back and forth and my fingers drumming along. I was into it.

The clincher came when “Visions Of Johanna” came on and opened with one of the greatest opening lyrics I’ve ever heard, “Ain’t it just like the night to play tricks when you’re trying to be so quiet.” Mother. Fucker. What a line! I was instantly sold, not just on the album but with Dylan himself. I heard he was a great lyricist, the “poet of rock ‘n’ roll”, but you’re never prepared for when you realize it or when you believe it. That lyric was the one that sold me on that notion. He was the greatest lyricist in rock history.