Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 23 (The Austin Era Ends)

2003 was a year of extremes for WWE.  That particular calendar year included one of the best PPVs of all time, several of my favorite-ever matches, and multiple amazing performances by certain talent.  2003 also brought some of the worst wrestling television and creative decisions in the history of our sport (whassup Schiavone!).

In January the pieces were being moved into place for WrestleMania, as Kurt Angle had won the WWE Title from The Big Show while Brock Lesnar waited in the wings for the rematch he never got.  In the meantime though Angle would have to turn back the challenge of Chris Benoit at the '03 Royal Rumble.  I was in attendance for this PPV, and while a verrry uneven show, the Angle-Benoit semi-main event is still the best match I've ever seen live.  It started slow and methodical, and built over 19 minutes into a submission and mat wrestling clinic.  Angle retained the Championship and split, leaving Benoit alone in the ring to a FleetCenter standing ovation.  The events of June 2007 tainted this memory for me to a certain extent, but on that day being part of that roar of crowd approval for my (at the time) favorite wrestler was magical.

Amazing bout this one.

The other Title match at the Rumble pitted Lord God King Hunter against one of the least ready-for-prime-time challengers I'd ever seen, Scott Steiner.  Steiner had just finished sitting out the remainder of his WCW contract and healing from nagging injuries, and Vince scooped him right up.  Apparently though Vince hadn't bothered watching any of Steiner's recent matches, because the man who was once half of the legendary Steiner Brothers was now a freakishly musclebound stiff, who could scarcely bend any of his limbs, and who seemingly got winded getting dressed in the morning.  The match began with most of the live crowd behind Hunter, but quickly got old as the two men lumbered through the plodding contest (Steiner at one point fell on his ass executing a suplex, and generally seemed out of shape).  By the end Boston was booing both wrestlers, and the DQ finish didn't help matters.  So of the two World Title matches at the '03 Rumble, one got a standing ovation for the LOSER while the other was booed out of the building.  Which one got a Part 2 at No Way Out?  Yup, the Steiner match.  Fuckin' hell.

Brock Lesnar of course won the Rumble match itself, which meant the Angle-Lesnar dream match was happening at 'Mania.  This was quite an exciting proposition, and would be the first PPV main event since December 1997 to not feature Austin, Rock, Triple H or Undertaker.  To help build to this magnificent showdown, WWE booked a six-man tag at No Way Out - Brock Lesnar, Chris Benoit & Edge vs. Team Angle.  Sadly just before the PPV, Edge discovered he'd need spinal fusion surgery and would miss a year of action.  So it would instead be a 3-on-2 handicap match.  A real bummer, but it was still a fine contest, and one of very few highlights on this awful show.

WWE's "Roman Empire" Is In Trouble

This was originally published in Sept. 2014.  Sadly everything I said back then is still an issue, and Roman Reigns isn't much closer to being mega-over than he was then.  If anything his fan support may be even less enthusiastic.....

As was clearly evident on this week's RAW, the Roman Empire is in trouble.  Roman Reigns, WWE's handpicked heir-apparent to John Cena as the face of the company, is not at all clicking with the audience the way he needs to.

Here is the goal - but can WWE do
what it takes to make it work?

As part of The Shield, Reigns was hugely over (as were his two partners) as the quiet, cool enforcer of the group who would stage a late-match power attack that left opponents lying in a heap.  Reigns was perfectly suited for that role and had clearly defined territory within the faction.  But as a post-Shield singles star, Reigns hasn't evolved at all and his act feels like a late 80s midcard babyface persona, not the next "it guy."

NFL Pick 'em: Week 13

Dan's Picks

Once more unto the breach, dear friends. Ya know, this year with the picks has not been good. Like any song playing on B-Cuddy’s car radio with the bass way too high, it stinks. So I must take solace in the important things in life. This picks blog? Pointless. No one cares about the useless choices of two bald guys and a handsome man making bad NFL picks. No, you know what the masses love?

That’s right, fake football. And let’s talk about the league myself, Miggsy & B-Cuddly are in, shall we? Take a look at the standings.

I mean, holy SHIT, did Brandon even know football was a sport when he drafted his team? I believe he thought he was drafting his fantasy women’s gymnastics team, a sport he is much more comfortable watching, and participating in thanks to his ample bosom. And Miggsy’s the biggest fraud in the league. This cracked out, corpsey-looking motherfucker (He’s so pale) changed his name to BUZZSAW cause he was cutting through everyone in the league...and has gone 3-3 ever since. He’s the Jeff Fisher of faux football, except Fisher has better breath. Meanwhile, I’m comfortably on my way to an unprecedented 8th Championship. So enjoy your picks, gentleman, and then go eat shit and die, you herpes weigh stations.

Dan Remembers Scott Weiland (1967-2015)

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Scott Weiland, the lead singer of the seminal 90s grunge band Stone Temple Pilots, passed away last night at the age of 48. I had two distinct feelings about this when I read about it.

1. Dammit, one of my all-time faves, gone far too young.
2. I can't believe he lasted this long.

October 27, 1967 – December 3, 2015

I was 13 years old back in 1991, when the alternative movement really hit its stride. Albums by Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Soundgarden were taking the music world by storm. They made me start to put away childish things, you know, Guns N Roses, Skid Row and Motley Crue. As I rocked along to the Seattle sound, in '92, a band whose roots grew in the San Diego rock scene crept up and slapped me in the face.

The first STP album came out and was immediately thrown into heavy rotation in my Walkman. Yes, that’s correct, I bought the tape. It was amazing. They were far more accessible to my adolescent brain than the other bands out at the time. From the original album, Core, the powerful, vocal thrust of "Plush," the metal riffs of "Sex Type Thing" and the closing, epic "Where the River Goes." All of it was perfect. This tape was traded throughout the neighborhood so all of us Southie hoodlums could have a copy. It was played so much that the actual tape was worn out and snapped. And I was a broke kid working at a Mom & Pop store. So I cracked that thing open, used some Scotch tape, and BOOM, I was rockin' again. They jumped to the top of my Favorite Bands list. Posters on the walls, shirts purchased and multiple copies of singles and albums.

Once Upon A Time, The Greatest Shooter in NBA History was Drafted 7th…

by Brandon Cuddemi

Steph Curry is on a level all by himself. His shot is downright beautiful. Like doves flying in the sunset, or something. Look, I’m not Robert Fucking Frost. Think of something majestic and that’s what his shot is like. Meanwhile, let’s see what Kobe’s shots are looking like this year...

(Kobe has nothing to do with this, but he plays for the Lakers, so fuck 'em) 

Here are some crazy numbers for Curry’s season and career:  In 20 games this season, he has made 102 threes. He’s on pace to make 418 of them. That would be 132 more than the current record for a single season. That record, by the way, belongs to him. He set it last season, when he broke the mark set in 2013-14 by...him. In all, he has 3 out of the top 5 spots in the record books for threes made in a single season. INSANE. Now granted, he shoots a million of these things. But, his percentages are actually historical too. For his career, he’s already 2nd all time for 3pt %. And nobody on that list comes close to attempting as many. Making it even more impressive. On top of it all, the guy easily has the best handles in the league, and 2-3 times a night you’ll see him make a fool out of whoever is defending him.

The Newest Batman v Superman Trailer

By Dan Moore & Justin Ballard
@SouthieDanimal
@EnuffaDotCom

I’m sure by now, most of us comic book movie-loving folk have seen the trailer for Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. If not, here it is below…but I recommend skipping it if you don’t want to see the ENTIRE FUCKING MOVIE.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yViIi3gie2c

***SPOILERS ABOUND BELOW***

Here’s a neat little list of what is wrong with all of this.

1. Does Jesse Eisenberg think he’s playing the Riddler? 

DAN: The characterization Eisenberg has here portraying Lex Luthor seems horribly wrong. Lex is supposed to be a person that’s above it all, better than you, me, hell, he’s better than Superman. In this trailer, he’s acting like a goddamn clown. The tone is just too silly for me to take him seriously as the eternal thorn in Superman’s side. I get each actor likes to have his own take on an iconic character, and I dig Eisenberg as an actor, but it’s so far off from what Luthor is supposed to be that it’s jarring. It’s like it’s a totally different character. Jesse Eisenberg as Bex Buthor. I’m not liking this interpretation thus far.

JUSTIN: This take on Luthor is just 100% incorrect.  It’s not the same character at all.  He’s mousy, he’s silly, he’s sorta effeminate.  It’s simply not Lex Luthor.  Why does this creative team feel the need to reinvent the wheel?  First Superman’s a mopey, selfish jerk and now this?  Also the whole bit about Lex saying, “Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne in the same room?  I love bringing people together!”  Lex might as well be speaking directly into the camera at that point, because Clark and Bruce meeting each other wouldn’t be significant to anyone in the film.  It’s significant to us, the audience, because it’s the first time these two iconic characters have been onscreen together in a live action movie.  But the other characters wouldn’t care.  This just reeks of fan-service.


2. Is DC making a conscious effort to make this a more playful movie, a la the Marvel flicks?

JUSTIN:  It would appear so.  Especially once Wonder Woman shows up and they’re like “Is she with you?”  “I thought she was with you.”  Sounds like something lifted right out of The Avengers.

DAN: DC already set a murky, dark tone for Man of Steel. When that was criticized, did they decide now “Let’s make him funny!” There’s legit more laughs in this trailer from that one line above than in the entirety of MoS. It’s like they saw what success Marvel has with the happy Avengers heroes and went with that blueprint for this movie. So weird.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 22 (Eric vs. Stephanie)

2002 was the first year in which WWF/E ran unopposed as a major wrestling company, but in the wake of WCW's and ECW's respective demises, two new companies formed. 

The first, Ring of Honor, was founded by Rob Feinstein and booked by Paul Heyman protege Gabe Sopolsky.  Like ECW it was a gritty, no-frills indie promotion with an emphasis on the in-ring product.  But unlike ECW the wrestling was technically-based instead of hardcore.  Veterans like Christopher Daniels, Low-Ki, and newcomer Bryan Danielson were showcased, and the company would bring in several international stars from time to time to give the product some flavor.  In lieu of a weekly TV show, very card would be available on VHS and later DVD, via RF Video.  Though it would take several years, ROH would come to be a major influence on the wrestling industry, just as ECW had done previously.  But we'll get to that.

The other new company was owned by Jeff and Jerry Jarrett, and was to be an NWA affiliate.  For some reason they called it Total Nonstop Action, or TNA (get it?), and the NWA gave them permission to use the sanctioned NWA World Championship as it's top belt.  The product was without a weekly cable timeslot, so instead they ran weekly two-hour PPVs from a venue in Nashville, which was a helluva financial commitment for anyone wanting to follow along.  For the most part TNA felt like a continuation of 2000 WCW; the top stars were either WWE castoffs or former WCW stars, and the product was needlessly raunchy.  The one innovation though was the newly created X-Division, which was similar to WCW's Cruiserweights, except there was no weight restriction.  The division was initially built around Jerry Lynn and hot new indie star AJ Styles, who would prove to be TNA's franchise player for the next decade.  While TNA wasn't exactly classic stuff, it did at least provide an alternative to an increasingly frustrating WWE product.

AJ's reign of awesome began in 2002.

After King of the Ring 2002 it was clear WWE was casting their lot with the prodigious Brock Lesnar.  He'd won the annual tournament and would be facing the Undisputed Champion at SummerSlam.  I had some reservations about his ability to deliver a PPV main event so early in his career but was excited for the company's focus on a young star.

NFL Pick 'em: Week 12

Dan's Picks

This is honestly getting ridiculous. I lose a pick on a goddamn "inadvertent whistle" play?? What is this world coming to? This is beyond annoying. Tom Brady is in bounds and throws a beauty to Danny Amendola, and TWEEEEET whistled away for...something. I mean, look at Danny boy here, on his way to the promised land.

But nope, there goes 6 points, bye bye, I’m a loser. Unreal. I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

St. Louis (+9) @ Cincinnati THE PICK - CINCINNATI
It’s a pretty bad look when your quarterback’s head gets slammed into the ground like Greg Hardy’s woman and he is still allowed to play, somehow.

There's nothing funny about this.

The NFL would have you believe that they care about the well-being of their players. That concussions are something they are actively trying to prevent. As evident in last week’s game, surely they jest. And with the Rams deciding that hey, Marshmallow-brains here is good to go this week...I’m on the Red Rifle and the cats to take this one down.

NFL Pick 'em: Thanksgiving Edition

Happy Thanksgiving and welcome to a special holiday edition of NFL Pick 'em. Before you hork down pounds of turkey & gravy drenched side dishes, why not take a little taste of some lousy picks by myself, Miggsy & B-Cuddy? Here we go.


Dan's Picks

Philadelphia @ Detroit (Pick ‘Em) THE PICK - WATCH SOMETHING ELSE
Holy shit, what an awful game this is gonna be. Seriously. Butt Fumble master Mark Sanchez is getting another start for the hapless birds, and the only guy in town with a bigger head than Charlie Brown, Matt Stafford, continues to suck it up for the Lions.

IDENTICAL

Turning this game on your television is possibly the meanest thing you could do to your family on this holiday, short of not making mashed potatoes for dinner (thanks Uncle Benny). I have zero confidence in either of these teams. You should watch the turkey cook instead of this nonsense. Gun to my head…DETROIT

WWE Survivor Series Recap, or "I Throw My Hands Up"

Well folks, another Survivor Series is in the books, and my esteemed Enuffa.com colleague Dan Moore and I are back with our analysis. 

Perennial Loser, er, I mean new WWE Champion Sheamus

Spoiler alert: This show pissed us both off.  But aren't we more entertaining that way?  Dan, your take?

DAN: What a missed opportunity last night for the WWE. The injury to Seth Rollins could have been a blessing in disguise. A chance to elevate some young talent on the roster and really start to push some new stars in the world of sports entertainment. Instead, Vince and his crazy cooks in the WWE kitchen served us up a shit sandwich.

The wrasslin’ portion of the show was actually fine. Match of the night was Roman Reigns vs. Alberto followed by Ambrose-Owens (Owens could be the company’s ultimate heel if he’s given that chance someday). I didn’t even have a problem with the combatants in the thrown together Survivor match. The teams were filled with capable members but the match itself lacked a story, as it was put together like, yesterday morning. 

No, my problem stems from the total lack of storytelling all night. It was atrocious. For example, in the aforementioned Survivor match, the heels were led out by the comedic tag champs, the New Day. No problem there. However, they attempted to make a humorous turn with Sheamus, your Money in the Bank briefcase holder. Normally, that’s not an issue. But when later in the evening, the very same Sheamus cashes in the contract against a newly crowned Champion Roman Reigns, something is very amiss here. Let me get this straight: the super babyface Reigns just lost to a man who an hour beforehand was acting like a clown and coming up with nonsensical phrases to get the audience to laugh, only to be mocked himself by his teammates? This is your heel champion now?

WWE Survivor Series 2015 Predictions

Welcome to another edition of official Enuffa.com predictions!  November is of course the month when WWE takes its second-oldest PPV tradition and craps all over it with a watered-down shell of what Survivor Series used to be (Don't get Dan and me started on that).

This year the centerpiece of the PPV is the final two rounds of the WWE Title tournament.  Former Champion and backbone of the company Seth Rollins suffered a serious knee injury as you all know, and was forced to vacate the belt, thus WWE held a 16-man tourney to crown a new Champion.  The tournament itself has been pretty solid and has made for some fine TV matches over the past two weeks (Reigns vs. Cesaro is probably the tourney highlight so far).

The other big hyped matchup this year is the Brothers of Destruction vs. Bray Wyatt & Braun Strowman.  Now when this all got set up a month ago it seemed clear the plan was for all four Wyatts to face Taker, Kane and two other babyfaces in a Survivor Series match.  Ya know, woulda made sense.  But no, apparently Vince thinks a plain RAW-quality tag team match would be a bigger draw (Vince, what color is the sky in CrazyLand?).  So we're stuck with what is likely to be a plodding, phoned-in affair.  Next?

The one ray of Survivor Series hope was just announced at the Smackdown tapings the other night, as ten of WWE's brightest, most promising midcarders (for whom Creative has no plans going forward) will be assembled into a traditional elimination match.  Of course WWE hasn't announced which ten guys will be involved.  Why would you hype a Survivor Series match ahead of time for Survivor Series??  But at least we'll get a 5-on-5 match.

NFL Pick 'em: Week 11

Dan's Picks

These picks....they’re not my kinda picks. Sure, I’m on the bottom, but let’s be real. It’s an unbelievable case of bad luck. If goddamn Mike Tomlin didn’t play for a TD with like 8 seconds left in the first week, if the Chiefs, the GODDAMN Chiefs don’t beat the Broncos for the first time in four years in a game where the most prolific regular-season passer in the history of the FUCKING LEAGUE threw four interceptions on 20 goddamn tosses, then I’m right up there with Bald & Balder. The only thing those two idiots hafta worry about picking correctly is what size Turtle Wax they need to shine up those fucking cue balls on their big fat necks. Now, let’s get to some more picks, which are most likely wrong. Fuck.

This is how I feel right now. Not really.
That performance by Manning last week was HILARIOUS.

Green Bay (+1) @ Minnesota THE PICK - GREEN BAY
The Pack are on a three game losing streak. Minny has pulled off a five (FIVE!?!) game winning streak. It’s been a great ride for the Vikings. But, much like Miggsy buying pairs of pants with a waistline in the thirties, it’s gonna come to a stop. Green Bay is coming off a shocking loss to the Lions at home and methinks they no likey that (plus, getting a point with the Packers is rare). I’m assuming they come out with a vengeance and destroy Minnesota, but I’m probably wrong because I stink.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 21 (Get the 'F Out)

The first major event in 2002 was the long-awaited return of Triple H, who had finally recovered from his cringeworthy quad tear in May of '01.  The vignettes they'd been playing were clearly designed to get Hunter over as a returning hero, and I anticipated a mega-babyface push for him heading into WrestleMania season.  Remember, before he left I was a big Triple H fan, so the idea of a probable Triple H-Chris Jericho WrestleMania main event was electrifying to me.  Sadly it wouldn't exactly play out like I'd hoped.

Jericho, who had defeated both The Rock and Steve Austin at Vengeance 2001 to become the Undisputed Champ, was almost immediately treated as a transitional belt-holder, routinely booked in the opening segment on RAW against lower-card opponents like Maven and Tazz.  Not only that but these weren't exactly squash matches.  Jericho had trouble beating seemingly anyone, and it looked as though he was being deliberately portrayed as an undeserving fluke Champion.  Heading into the new year all signs pointed to a nice little Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam feud, culminating in a WWF Title match at the Royal Rumble.  But inexplicably their blowoff match took place on an episode of Smackdown, and Jericho was once again paired against The Rock for the PPV.  This seemed like a totally wasted opportunity to a) deliver a really great semi-main event at the Rumble, b) solidify Rob Van Dam as a new main event star after his surprising Hardcore Title loss to The Undertaker (who had pretty nonsensically turned heel in December), and c) stack the Rumble match itself with as many top-tier stars as possible.  What we got on that PPV was a third Jericho vs. Rock go-round that wasn't nearly as captivating as the first two, a Rumble match with a very obvious winner and only three other potential candidates, and Rob Van Dam relegated to a two-minute cameo at the end of the match (He should consider himself lucky, the other former Alliance star Booker T only got 33 seconds).

Hunter?  Why are your shoulder so big?

This was the first time I became acutely aware of petty backstage politics creating blatantly counterproductive booking, at least in the WWF (Christ, in WCW it was practically announced every week on Nitro).  While in hindsight there was obviously a lot of this stuff going on for years, even during the excellent 2000/early 2001 era, either I hadn't been as wise to the product or the company had done enough things right that I didn't notice so much.  That all changed post-Invasion.

NFL Pick 'em: Week 10

Standings:

Brandon (16-11, 21pts)

Miggsy (16-11, 20pts)

DNM III (13-14, 17pts)

Dan's Picks

Hey it's Dan. I got nothing to say.

Carolina (-6) @ Tennessee THE PICK - CAROLINA 
The Panthers defensive line has been bonkers lately and they might have the best linebacker group in the league. I mean, look at Luke Kuechly, he's an animal!

Ok, maybe this pic of him looking like an accountant in an
oversize jersey was the wrong one to pick. 

Tennessee's offensive line has been atrocious. Methinks young Marcus may need a dry cleaner big time come Monday for all the grass stains he'll be wearing.

Kansas City @ Denver (-7) THE PICK - DENVER
Peyton is 3 yards away from beating notorious dick pic slinger Bret Favre's all time yards passing record.

Wranglers:
The official jeans for interception prone QBs with small wangs.

Even noodle arm Manning has to be able to sling a few lame ducks on this putrid Chiefs team. Denver's defense should give Alex "I was drafted before Aaron Rodgers" Smith fits all day. He may not even break 100 yards passing. You can do this with every draft, but the fact that roughly a million teams passed on Rodgers is astounding. It's such a huge blunder in a league where there's maybe 8 good quarterbacks. To have one ready to go in the draft and keep passing him by is amazing.

You Used To Be Sooooo Good: WWE Survivor Series

AND WE'RE BAAAACK!!!  It's been a while folks, but my esteemed Enuffa.com colleague Dan Moore and I are back with a brand new installment of You Used To Be Soooo Good.  You know the drill, we examine something we once loved, explain why it sucks now, and work through our pain.

This here is a REAL logo.

Today we'll be talking about what used to be one of our favorite wrestling PPVs, the Survivor Series.  Debuting in 1987, the Series was built around gigantic team matchups, where two captains would gather their closest allies and wage war on their hated enemies.  It was a pure, uncomplicated format, and it worked beautifully.  But after the first few years the company began to stray from this concept.  Over the past two decades the elimination portion of the shows has been more often than not phoned in, while the focus has been on the regular ol' singles matches.  Thus Survivor Series has mostly devolved into a generic PPV where little of importance takes place.  Dan, what's your take on this once-beloved tradition?


DAN: Ah, the classic Survivor Series. At the time it debuted, it easily shot to the top of the charts as my favorite wrestling event. The idea of the PPV was, in retrospect, so simple, but so awesome. Tag teams made up of five men, with each man pinned (or DQd or counted out) being eliminated from the match, thus creating survivors. The year this show was born, I was heavy into my love of wrasslin'. We were all at my grandmother's house for Thanksgiving and because the show was on Thanksgiving night, my father made me and my brother leave early so we wouldn't miss a second of this brand new wrestling extravaganza. It's truly one of my favorite wrestling memories, and the very first Survivor Series is ingrained in my head as one of the all time great pay-per-views.


JUSTIN: I first heard about Survivor Series at a house show on Halloween night.  My dad and I went to the Worcester Centrum and on the back of the programs was an ad depicting Hulk Hogan's team on one side and Andre the Giant's team on the other.  I said, "What's this about?"  Just below that was an "Also featuring Randy Savage's team facing The Honky Tonk Man's team."  I said, "This sounds most intriguing."  Yes, at age 12 I used the word "intriguing."  I swear.

A Brief History of James Bond

**Editor's Note: Welcome to a special look at the history of James Bond, from our own Bond Consultant Dave Moore (Dan's brother).  Dave has what you might call an unhealthy fixation on everyone's favorite British spy.  So to commemorate the latest 007 opus Spectre, he's put together a little retrospective.  Enjoy!**

As many people know James Bond made his return to the screen this past weekend in SPECTRE, and I couldn't be more excited about a new Bond Film.  People who know me, know I'm a huge James Bond fan, both of the movies and the books.  The moment I first saw the inside of that gun barrel appear on the screen and a lone man walked into frame, fired his gun, and blood trickled down the screen, seven-year-old Dave was hooked.

Decades later, after 24 movies, who's the best Bond? Everyone has their personal favorite. Here is my breakdown:

For me it starts and stops with the original Bond, Sean Connery.  He's the first man to bring the character to life on film and he's still the best.  His presence on screen was electric. His physicality in the train fight with Robert Shaw's Red Grant in From Russia with Love made this a groundbreaking sequence.  He dripped sexuality and charisma. He was suave, charming and got any woman he looked at. He had the ability to deliver a perfectly-timed and witty one-liner. He was the coolest character in film at the time. Up until Daniel Craig, he was the closest to the James Bond from the books. Sadly Connery tired of the role and left after You Only Live Twice.  He came back a few years later for Diamonds are Forever but it wasn’t the same as the earlier films.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 20 (The Invasion)

Ah, the Invasion Angle.  The most disappointing thing in wrestling history.  When Vince McMahon bought WCW I (like all wrestling fans everywhere) salivated at the thought of finally getting to see the top stars from both companies lock up in the ring.  Austin vs. Goldberg, Hogan vs. The Rock, Triple H vs. Sting (okay, two of those three did eventually happen, but stay with me here), and a host of other epic marquee matchups would now be possible.  Except they weren't.  Reason being, all of WCW's biggest names were still under contract to Time Warner for another year or more, and Vince didn't want to fork over the cash to buy them out.

Uh oh, the enemy is sitting politely in their seats.  What are we gonna do??

So instead the only "invaders" we got were the largely unproven midcard talent no one really cared about seeing in a WWF ring (Booker T excepted, he was the one real star Vince bought at this point).  The early stages of the Invasion consisted of random attacks by lower-echelon WCWers like Mike Awesome and Lance Storm (nothing against Lance at all, but he wasn't exactly a WCW cornerstone).  Finally at King of the Ring we saw Booker T for the first time as he attacked Steve Austin during his WWF Title match.  But since Austin won the match anyway this didn't make much of an impact.

The master plan for this Invasion was for Shane McMahon to lead the new WCW charge and split off into his own brand, slated for Friday nights on TNN.  The top four talents on whose shoulders WCW would be rebuilt were Booker T, Rob Van Dam, Test, and Buff Bagwell.  Wait, what??  Yup, someone in the WWF thought Buff Bagwell would be a top-flight WCW main eventer, and the first-ever WCW match broadcast on RAW pitted Buff against Booker T.  And then the match stunk up the joint.  Literally, the arena reeked of failure and self-loathing.  Coming off 18 solid months of WWF programming that was absolute gold 90 per cent of the time, I had very high hopes for a relaunched WCW under the McMahon banner.  When this Booker-Buff match flopped harder than an M. Night Shyamalan film, it stung.  The match was so bad it killed the relaunch dead before it even got out of the gate.  The network pulled the plug on the experiment, and Bagwell got his walkin' papers.

NFL Pick 'em: Week 9

Points standings 

Miggsy-17

Dan-16

B-Cuddly-18

Last week, I came down a bit. The week before, I was perfect, eating cavier and drinking champagne. A couple losses on Sunday, I'm horking down filet o' fish and guzzling syrup.

Your mother teach you to chug?

Nothing you can do about it except pretend everything's just peachy and go about your business. Like Miggsy and his hairline.


DAN'S PICKS

Atlanta (-7) @ San Francisco THE PICK - ATLANTA
Two words. BLAINE GABBERT
Thank you.

New York Giants (-2 1/2) @ Tampa Bay THE PICK - NEW YORK
I hate Eli, and the Giants. I feel I need to say that each time I pick them. He stinks, yet with the sorry state of QB talent in the NFL, is legit top ten in the league. He shows that he can be great (like last week's 6 TD performance and two specific games in February we won't talk about). But he makes so many stupid mistakes, like Cuddy buying a large shirt (No, it fits dude, your gut is almost contained). I have to, HAVE TO, believe they're better than Tampa. Of course, I'm probably wrong. But I hate Florida. The whole state. It's overrated, humid, pricey and filled with Coke dealers and cousin fuckers. Not to mention the buncha dickheads that flock there to spend half their salaries to see teenagers dressed up like a fucking mouse. Holy shit, look, a fake castle, I'm a princess and it only cost me A MILLION DOLLARS. Seriously, Florida, eat a dick.

NJPW Power Struggle 2015 Predictions

Welcome back to Enuffa.com PPV Predictions, where I dissect the upcoming NJPW Power Struggle show!

We've arrived at what is essentially the final stop on the Road to WrestleKingdom, where things fall into place for the company's January 4th extravaganza.  As in previous years, Power Struggle is a pretty basic collection of matches not really designed to have lasting ramifications, but to warm everyone up for WK10.  Let's take a look at the scheduled bouts.

**Since I started predicting New Japan shows I'm 21/26 - not too shabby.**

David Finlay, Jay White, Sho Tanaka and Yohei Komatsu vs. Jushin Thunder Liger, Máscara Dorada, Ryusuke Taguchi and Tiger Mask

This show will contain several get-more-names-on-the-card matches, the first of which is this eight-man tag.  Many of these guys opened King of Pro-Wrestling as well.  Team Liger won that match, and I'm picking them here too.

Justin's pick: Liger/Dorada/Taguchi/Tiger Mask

Togi Makabe, Captain New Japan and Juice Robinson vs. Cody Hall, Doc Gallows and Tama Tonga

The first of three multi-man tags involving the Bullet Club, this pits the stable's bottom echelon against former Never Champ Makabe and his two partners.  Coming off a loss at KOPW I imagine Makabe gets a bit of rehabbing in this match.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Psycho

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

The final review #31Movies31Days

Psycho (1960)

Director: Alfred Hitchcock
Starring: Anthony Perkins, Vera Miles, John Gavin, Martin Balsam, John McIntire, Janet Leigh

This was it. The big one. The very first horror movie I ever saw in my life. Psycho. I watched it at my Aunt's house on the Movie Loft with Dana Hersey on WSBK TV 38, Boston. And it scared the bejesus out of me. The requisite "no more showers" was promised by myself, and I'm quite sure I held onto that pledge for a solid week.

The plot, of course, involves Norman Bates and his eponymous hotel. When Marion Crane, who is on the run after robbing her boss of $40,000, checks in, she meets this strange boy who has an even stranger infatuation with his little-seen mother. Mother resides in the creepy house overlooking the hotel, and if I thought the hospital in Session 9 was scary, check this shit out.

BURN IT! BURN IT ALL DOWN!

The movie is iconic for a myriad of reasons. The house. The hotel. The music. The still-scary-to-this-day shower scene. And of course, Mother.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 19 (Vince Buys WCW)

2001 might be the most significant year in the history of pretend fighting.  After decades of the North American wrestling landscape being dominated by two or three major promotions, the year 2001 saw one company survive the Monday Night War by absorbing the other.  On March 26th, the unthinkable happened, as Vince McMahon bought WCW and assimilated it into his own company.  The final Nitro featured a simulcast segment where Vince announced to the world that he had bought the company, only for Shane McMahon to appear and drop the bombshell that HE had in fact purchased WCW out from under Vince.  This set the stage for the biggest wrestling angle of all time, the Invasion.

But before we get to that, let's rewind to January.

The 2001 PPV calendar was probably even better than the 2000 one, as four of the five Big PPVs were absolutely spectacular, and a few of the B shows were excellent too.  The Royal Rumble kicked things off perfectly, with a stacked Rumble match that entertained all the way through and culminated in Steve Austin's reascension, a worthy semi-main event in the Kurt Angle-Triple H WWF Title match (despite the lack of a babyface to root for), and the two Chrises, Benoit and Jericho, stealing the show with an amazing Ladder Match for the I-C Title.

The Chrises had a helluva six-month stretch in 2001

It was obvious the planned main event of WrestleMania 17 (dubbed X-Seven for some reason) was The Rock vs. Steve Austin.  I was less than pumped for this I must confess, as we had seen it two years prior and I had hoped for someone new to be elevated to that level.  Plus it was a face vs. face match and I just didn't feel much heat from it.  Turned out I had little to worry about, but we'll get to that in a bit.

At the 'Mania 17 press conference, Vince announced "This won't be the biggest WrestleMania ever, but it will be the best."  I'll never forget that line, as #1 it was 100% true, and #2 WWE in recent years seems to have forgotten that philosophy when putting together WrestleMania shows.  In trying to make each one as big as it can be, they've forgotten about making it better than the others.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Session 9

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

Here we are, the final reviews.  Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day 30: Session 9 (2001)

Director: Brad Anderson
Starring: David Caruso, Peter Mullan, Stephen Gevedon, Paul Guilfoyle, Josh Lucas, Brendan Sexton III

New shorts. That's what you'll need after watching this one.

The movie's plot involves an asbestos removal company doing a job in a dilapidated mental institute. And the place looks real nice. Honestly.

Perhaps I'll summer here

Strange things start to occur once the crew gets in the building. One of the workers starts listening to old reel-to-reel session recordings, adding an even creepier layer to the happenings and the goings on. To tell more of the plot is not fair to the new viewer. Needless to say, you'll be scared.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Wes Craven's New Nightmare

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day 29: Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)

Director: Wes Craven
Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Miko Hughes, John Saxon

Freddy Krueger is one of the Big Five when it comes to your slasher types. Along with Jason, Michael Myers, Leatherface and Chucky, ol' Freddy has been around for decades, hacking up teenagers and making jokes all along the way. A long series of sequels, each varying degrees of quality, really watered down Frederick. This was a character that was a demonic child molester who murdered people in their sleep.  He should have been the scariest of the bunch. Instead he became comic relief. And then the studio killed him.

NFL Pick 'em: Week 8

Points standings

Dan-17

Brandon-17

Miggsy-15

Dan's Picks

Well, well, well, take a look at your boy from last week

That's right, undefeated and perfect last week. Not like those other two schlubs. Nope, they don't know anything about perfection. Nope, clueless about perfection in picks, in life, even with ladies. Hell, their idea of a perfect date with a chick is all you can eat pasta at the Olive Garden, then taking the bus home so they can be a gentleman and wear a condom.  Buncha losers, ya ask me.


Arizona (-4.5) @ Cleveland THE PICK - ARIZONA
Supposedly, Cleveland Rocks. At least, that's what some Bob Barker wannabe has told us for years. But as we know, the Browns do not. Their name is synonymous with how their team plays. Like shit.  Arizona has had some odd losses this year, but I don't see it happening this week. Arizona's offense should run all over the broken levy that is the Browns defensive line.

Tampa Bay (+7.5) @ Atlanta  THE PICK - Atlanta
The Bucs run defense definitely gives me pause in this pick. They've been able to stop the run this year. But their offense has been bad. Like Miggsy's short game bad. Cuddemi's "hairline" bad. Sure, the Falcons only scored ten points last week, but Matty Ice threw for over 250, their running backs gained more than 100 on the ground, and they gained 122 more yards than Tennessee. What I'm saying is, it shoulda been a bigger win. And this week, they'll make up for it.

I'd Like to Introduce You To: Under the Skin

Welcome back to Enuffa.com, where we once again present I'd Like to Introduce You To.....from Michael Drinan.  It's a series dealing with lesser-known cinematic gems that you should go out of your way to find.

I love films that are very divisive with audiences.  It doesn’t even have to be great, just a really well made film will leave the audience split.  These kinds of films are great because there’s no grey area, you either like it or you don’t.  You either get it or it goes over your head.  The independent film scene really thrives on these types of films because they challenge their audience, forcing them to take in an unconventional film that is told unconventionally.  Sometimes it takes a couple of times to see it to help you decide, like 2001: A Space Odyssey was for me.  The film highlighted in this post is exactly THAT kind of film.  It’s confrontational, unconventional, introspective, contemplative and really fucking good.  And with that, let me introduce you to Under the Skin.

A Christmas Story vs. Halloween

(Editor's Note: Welcome to a special Enuffa.com entry, contributed by my buddy Mark McD.  Mark is a talented stand-up comic and he's composed a special Halloween story for your enjoyment, entitled A Christmas Story vs. Halloween.  Check it out.  Mark can be seen at the Limelight Comedy Club in Boston every Wednesday night - check him out on November 4th!)

A Christmas Story vs Halloween 

Ralph Parker's Journal
October 1st, 2003

I was sitting next to the radio, frantically changing the stations looking for something listenable. The days where you could find a decent story on there were dead. The sounds erupting from it were loud and unfriendly, meant for a generation I wanted nothing to do with. The signal and my anger were pierced and shut out by the sound of my telephone ringing in the adjacent room.

One thing I did love about modern technology was caller ID; it helped me keep shitheads at bay.

I looked at the screen shocked, for "Farkus" was a surname I hadn't read in a very long time.

Scut and I sure had some battles when we were kids, but he turned out to be a decent guy. I just had to kick the shit out of him a few times to get him that way.

His voice was frantic.

"Ralphie.... How are you doing old friend?"

"I'm good, Scut. I'm good. Let's cut to the chase though, okay, old pal? My cleaning lady is coming over pretty soon and we've been having a ton of sex lately."

"Ya, sure thing Ralphie, sure thing..... Jeez, I don't know when the last time we talked... But you see I moved to Illinois a few years back. Haddonfield, to be exact."

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I wanted to reach through the phone and smack him.

"Why the hell would you go and do something stupid like that?"

"Property value. I got a house real cheap. Things ain't as good for me as they usedta be."

I wanted to hang up the phone right then and there but I didn't. Maybe some part of me longed for a connection to my past. Maybe I'm just a moron.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Phantoms

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day 28: Phantoms (1998)
 

Director: Joe Chappelle

Starring: Peter O'Toole, Rose McGowan, Joanna Going, Liev Schreiber, Ben Affleck, Nicky Katt, Clifton Powell

For years I've been hearing "Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms, yo."

From these two noted film critics

And they're right. He's the bomb, Rose McGowan is the bomb, the plot is the bomb, the special effects is the bomb, the whole friggin' movie is a bomb. This is legitimately one of the worst horror movies I've ever seen. The plot is simple enough: two sisters go on a vacation to a quiet Colorado resort town. When they arrive, everyone's gone, under sinister circumstances.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: V/H/S

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day 25: V/H/S (2012)

Day 26: V/H/S/2 (2013)

Day 27: V/H/S Viral (2014) 

Director: A buncha different folk
Starring: A buncha other, different folk

Anthology movies are alway an uneven affair. It's their nature. Different writers, actors and directors for each vignette are gonna give you different shifts in tone & talent. These VHS movies are the perfect example of this.

These flicks consist of 4-5 different short, horror movies with a wraparound story that tries to tie everything in together. Right off the bat, I'll let ya know, the wraparound segments are the weakest parts of all three of these movies. I understand the reasoning for these creators to want this to be all part of some grand mythology, but the wraparound plots are so thin, they're pointless. They exist just to link together these other, longer movies, but they're pretty pointless and not scary.

Pro Wrestling: A Mark's History, part 18 (Steve Austin Returns!)

Fully Loaded 2000 still stands as one of my Top 20 all-time PPVs.  Aside from a few weak spots, this show was absolutely stacked and featured two four-plus-star main events.  The show was billed as a Triple Main Event, with each of the three established headliners facing one of the rising top newcomers.  The Undertaker was paired against Kurt Angle, Triple H against Chris Jericho, and in the match that got me all revved up, The Rock would defend the WWF Title against Chris Benoit.  Also on the card, T&A teamed with Trish Stratus against The Hardyz and Lita in a high-energy opener, Rikishi faced Intercontinental Champion Val Venis in a memorable Steel Cage bout, and Eddie Guerrero wrestled Perry Saturn for the European Title.

Jericho and Triple H had crossed paths three months earlier on an episode of RAW, when Jericho challenged then-Champion Hunter for the Title.  After about twelve minutes of what I figured was sure to be a clean Triple H win, suddenly Jericho hit the Lionsault and covered Hunter, with angry referee Earl Hebner (whom Triple H had bullied for weeks prior) making a fast-count and awarding the Championship to Jericho.  The arena crowd became unglued in a way you simply don't see on WWE television anymore.  If there were any doubt how over Jericho was, this removed it in a big hurry.  My friend Dan (a supreme Jericho-holic) called me up immediately, giddy with excitement - "HOLY FUCKIN' SHIT DUDE!  THEY GAVE HIM THE BELT!!"  Sadly our joy would be short-lived, as Triple H later threatened Hebner's job if he didn't reverse his decision.  Thus Jericho's 2000 WWF Title win was erased from history books.  Dammit.  Their match at Fully Loaded was a Last Man Standing match, and both guys beat the tar out of each other in a wild, bloody bout ranging all around ringside.  Even in defeat Jericho proved with this match that he belonged in there with the top guys.

"OH MY GAHD KING!  THIS MATCH HAS GONE BLACK & WHITE!!"

The main event was The Rock vs. Chris Benoit, which was pretty surreal to me.  I had been a Benoit fan for several years and had watched WCW underuse and underappreciate him (and others) while a host of 80s WWF stars ran roughshod over the company.  When he and the other Radicalz jumped to the WWF I knew right away they'd get a better shot at stardom, but it was this match that truly rewarded my faith and anticipation.  Benoit was presented as completely on the same level as The Rock from an in-ring perspective, and their match was an instant classic, overshadowing even the Triple H-Jericho battle.  I was treated to another teased Title change toward the end when Benoit appeared to have defeated The Rock, only for WWF Commissioner Mick Foley to throw out the decision and restart the match.  I was fine with The Rock retaining, as a) he had just won the Title back and I figured he'd keep it for a while, and b) Benoit was presented as a deserving full-time main eventer.

WWE Hell in a Cell Thoughts and Recap

Well another WWE PPV is in the history books.  Last night's Hell in a Cell was fairly decent but also fairly inconsequential.  The two Cell matches delivered on some level, incorporating a few new spots and unexpected storytelling elements.  Unfortunately neither match will likely have any long-term impact (I'll explain why in a few minutes).  The rest of the card ranged from pretty good to pretty bad, and sadly I didn't find myself very emotionally invested in any of it.  The fall season in WWE is always a bit of a hard sell for me, as Creative almost never seems motivated this time of year.  But the product has been particularly nondescript since SummerSlam, with few compelling reasons to care about much of what's happening.  WWE is once again in a holding pattern until 'Mania season, although at least Survivor Series is being presented as a celebration of The Undertaker's 25th anniversary (to the date actually, he debuted on 11/22/90 which is pretty neat).  So the company will likely try to stack that show for a change.  By the way, why does WWE insist on using images of Taker from 5 years ago on all their promotional materials??  It's a minor gripe but it's been bothering me since the SummerSlam poster was first published.  Taker hasn't had long hair since 2011.  We've seen him on television several times in 2015.  We know that's not what he looks like now.  What are you doing?

The pre-show match was a fun little six-man tag that I wish had been included on the PPV.  All of these guys need something meaningful to do.  Maybe they'll put together some kind of Survivor Series match for them, but relegating these six to the pre-show is ridiculous.  Still they got a good amount of time and Team Ziggler got a clean win.  Poor King Barrett.  Remember when he was supposed to be a breakout star?  Not sure where they're going with the "Stardust Trio" (real wrestling fans will get that reference), but I'd actually like to see a three-way Survivor Series match.  Stardust & The Ascension vs. Team Ziggler vs. Team Sheamus.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Mimic Trilogy

by Dan Moore 

@SouthieDanimal

 

Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days  

 

Day Twenty-Two: Mimic  

 

 

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Starring: Mira Sorvino, Jeremy Northam, Josh Brolin, Charles S. Dutton, Giancarlo Giannini

F. Murray Abraham

Day Twenty-Three: Mimic 2 

 

 

Director: Jean de Segonzac

Starring: Edward Albert, Alix Koromzay, Will Estes, Bruno Campos

Day Twenty-Four: Mimic 3:Sentinel 

 

 

Director: JT Perry

Starring Lance Henriksen, Karl Geary, Alexis Dziena, Rebecca Mader

 

Del Toro's first English language movie has all the hallmarks of his later, more polished works. There's insects, monsters and dark creepy places. I'm a big fan of his, yet had never watched Mimic before. Did I make a mistake? 

NFL Pick 'em: Week 7

Points standings 

Brandon-15

Miggsy-14

Dan-13

Take a look at all our picks from last week.

1-8 for the three of us. That's almost as bad as Brandon and Miggsy's combined hairlines. Backdoor cover by the Colts screwed all our locks of the week. But I'm glad it happened. Because this happened.

That fake punt play right there is the happiest I've been in years. I'm so glad it happened. Whenever I'm feeling down, I just look at that and smile. It makes me so happy.

Dan's Picks

Cleveland (+6.5) @ St. Louis THE PICK - ST. LOUIS 
This is not a pick made on any kind of endorsement of the Rams quarterback situation. Not at all. Nick Foles has looked lost. His previous game, he threw four picks. He looks worse than Miggsy's toilet last weekend after we all had a million beers. But that's nothing compared to the trash that has been the Browns rush defense. They're giving up just about 150 yards a game. And Rams rookie running back Todd Gurley has 305 rushing yards over his past two games. He's running through defense lines like we ran through all of Miggsy's food & beer last week. I think Cleveland gets shredded here, much like I was on Saturday when I dropped beer all over Miggsy's kitchen.

WWE Hell in a Cell 2015 Predictions

Welcome to another round of WWE PPV Predictions here at Enuffa.com!

It's October, and you know what that means.  That means the brutal, deadly Hell in a Cell match needs to happen at least once, maybe twice, regardless if we have any feuds barbaric enough to necessitate such a violent match.  I miss the days when a feud would get so heated the only way to settle it was between the mesh walls of the demonic Cell.  Now it's like, "Oh, we need two guys to get in the cage so we can still call this PPV Hell in a Cell."  Oh.  How exciting.

This year's PPV feels very much phoned in, consisting of half a dozen rematches from earlier shows.  The company is clearly banking on Lesnar vs. Taker to sell this show, but given they've already wrestled this type of match (and it was a bona fide classic unlikely to be surpassed 13 years later), I'm not exactly chomping at the bit for this one.  Oddly, last year's HIAC also featured a Cell rematch from years earlier, Cena vs. Orton.  Someone's run out of ideas obviously.

***Justin and Dan are currently tied at 40/61***

Pre-Show Match: Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro & Neville vs. Sheamus, King Barrett & Rusev

Ok, first, we just saw this match on RAW.  Second, why in the name of fuck are Ziggler, Cesaro, Sheamus and Rusev relegated to the pre-show?  Absolutely disgraceful.  Might be time to permanently team up Cesaro and Ziggles since they're both way over, the company doesn't want to push either of them, and Tyson Kidd may never wrestle again.  Christ.

Justin's pick: Heels win I guess.
Dan's pick: We JUST SAW THIS MONDAY. Christ.  I agree with bad guys winning.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Tremors 3, 4 & 5

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

In case ya missed it, Jingles and his old lady went to some wedding and couldn't post. So these reviews are from this past weekend.  Luckily, I watched three of the same series, so it's Tremors Thursday.

Day Sixteen: Tremors 3: Return to Perfection (2001)

Day Seventeen: Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004)

Day Eighteen: Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015)

Director: No one cares because
Starring: MICHAEL EFFIN' GROSS! (Or for you 80's kids, STEPHEN EFFIN' KEATON!)

You will get no analysis of these movies. Nothing subjective, objective, collective or introspective. No sir. Look elsewhere. The fact is, I love two very dumb things about these movies.

1. Giant desert worms named Graboids.  A unique, disgusting horror movie baddie. When they die, the carnage they wrought sounds & looks disgusting.

2. BURT EFFIN' GUMMER (who, if you don't know, is played by MICHAEL EFFIN' GROSS! Ya know, Family Ties dad, STEPHEN EFFIN' KEATON!)

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: The Lazarus Effect

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day Twenty One: The Lazarus Effect  (2015)

Director: David Gelb
Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters, Sarah Bolger

In a plot line that reminded me of 1990's Flatliners, a bunch of surgeons are working on a serum that's supposed to be used to help coma patients. But in fact, it's able to (DUN-DUN-DUUUUUN!!!) bring the dead back to life.

Duplass and Wilde are the head doctors in this mad scientist's lounge. They're also loooovers. Once they figure out this Romero juice works, the first thing they use it on is a dead dog. He breaks out of his rusty cage which is being guarded by others in the lab. It takes this pup about nine minutes before he goes all Cujo on these sorry sons of bitches. The stunt with the dog gets their funding taken away, so these dopes decide to break in to steal their serum. In a freak accident (Are there any other types in these movies?) Wilde's character gets killed, so of course these geniuses pump her up with reanimating 'roids and she comes back.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: Below

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days

Day Twenty: Below (2002)

Director: David Twohy
Starring: Bruce Greenwood, Matthew Davis, Olivia Williams, Holt McCallany, Scott Foley, Zack Galifanakis, Jason Flemyng

Setting a horror movie in a singular location is quite common. A house is your typical haunted setting. Below brings a very unique setting for the haunting. A World War II submarine is where things go awry here.  The submarine in question, the USS Tiger Shark, is on patrol somewhere in the Atlantic when they pick up three British survivors, two men and a woman (or as one of the crew puts it "Two teabags and a bleeder"). The woman, Claire (Williams) seems to have a bit of amnesia, and the commanding officer, Lt. Brice (expertly played, as usual by Bruce Greenwood) is very suspicious of the boat's new passengers. They're also being pursued by a German warship and that's when strange noises and occurrences start to happen. Is it a coincidence? Sabotage by the newcomers? Or something supernatural?

First and foremost, the cast is top notch. You'll probably recognize the vast majority of these folk as "that guys." All recognizable faces, and all pros. They all put in great performances (with a semi-serious turn from Galifianakis). I've been a huge fan of Greenwood's since I saw him on an old UPN show, The Nowhere Man. He's got this laid back, Everyman quality to his acting and he's a natural in this as the acting CO, who's only in charge due to the mysterious circumstances surrounding his commander's demise.

For Those About to Rock: Rock & Roll Hall of Fame 2016, part 3

Welcome to the final installment of my three-part series, For Those About to Rock, where we go over the 2016 nominees for the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame and predict who gets in and who gets the shaft.  You can read Part 2 here if you need to catch up.  For the rest of you, let’s tackle the next 6 nominees!

The Smiths - The Smiths scored a nomination last year and didn’t get in because of the strong class of nominees they were in. This year the class isn’t as strong but it still won’t get The Smiths inducted. Last year I wrote that The Smiths’ influence is undeniable and Johnny Marr’s guitar work along with Morrissey’s ability to write songs about how everyday life is full of passion and drama gives them a strong case for induction. I’m not sure how long they’ll have to wait but they’ll eventually get in. They won’t have a contingency of fans crying about how they’re not inducted like Kiss had with their whining fan group “Kiss Army”. Smiths fans are too depressed about other things more than about the Hall of Fame which will keep the pressure off the Hall.

The Spinners - Another carryover nominee from last year, The Spinners are somehow still convincing people that we need to let EVERY SINGLE Motown group into the HOF. I was against it last year and remain unconvinced that they’re deserving. The Spinners gave us a great song but that's it. The HOF nomination committee, or whoever the hell nominates artists, needs to let The Spinners go.

Yes - The same group of people yelling for Rush to be inducted are going to be the same people who cry about Yes getting inducted. The only potential reason I'd like to see Yes inducted is because I think Chris Squire is a fantastic bassist and songwriter and I love their song “I’ve Seen All Good People," but do we really need another prog rock band inducted? Aren’t Pink Floyd, Rush and Genesis enough? Doesn’t that cover prog rock at its best? What’s next, Van der Graaf Generator? Stop it. Once again the nomination committee needs to let this one go. You’ve covered the best part of prog rock within the history of popular music already. Too much of a good thing is ultimately a bad thing. Induction for Yes? No.

31 Horror Movies in 31 Days: The Taking of Deborah Logan

by Dan Moore
@SouthieDanimal

I love horror movies, so I'm watching one a day in October.  There's no rhyme or reason to the flicks I'm watching. Some I've never seen, some I have. Join the discussion on Twitter with #31Movies31Days 

Day Nineteen: The Taking of Deborah Logan

Director: Adam Robitel
Starring: Jill Larson, Anne Ramsay, Michelle Ang & Ryan Cutrona

Another in the found footage genre, The Taking of Deborah Logan is a derivative, boring horror movie. A documentary team is researching Alzheimer's and start filming the elderly Miss Logan, who doesn't want to be filmed.  Her daughter reminds them that they need the cash the documentarians are paying for the film. She displays more and more odd behavior, which culminates in a mishmash of a possession plot, demons,  haunted house and monster movie.